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Child Item

Visitors want us to remove the cat and dog while they are staying with us

Karen91

The sister of my OH is visiting us from abroad in 2 months with her husband and baby they will be staying for a week with us. My OH told me that she has requested that we remove the animals while they stay with us for the safety of her baby.

The cat and dog are both house pets the cat is never allowed out unless on a lead because we live near a busy road and the dog only goes out to relieve herself and comes straight back in. So basically we would have to board them for the week while they are here, my parents might be able to take the dog but the cat would have to be boarded for sure as mother is not a fan of cats.

I am rather insulted about it and I am tempted to tell her find alternative accomodation, would it be unreasonable of me to do so?

Some opinions on the matter would be greatly appreciated!

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Milly33

I think you should show them the link to this thread and see what they think

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

Yes I know a place can kept relatively clean but no one have asked about the condition in the OPs house before condemning the demands of the house guests. I have seen some pretty badly kept pets and house for that matter in my time. Maybe the conditions in OPs house are fine for adults and not making a fuss about before but it's not ideal for babies. Also, dogs are not the same as cats. Easier to keep a place clean with only a cat.

Well then why ask to stay there

ChubbyHubby

Karen91 wrote: »

My house is hoovered daily so the place is not covered in hair, their room is washed out daily also I would not let me live in filth their beds are washed weekly. The cat and the dog are washed and groomed regularly. The dog is groomed professionally every 8 weeks and I brush her an bath her in between. Shes brushed every evening for 40 minutes to make sure her coat is tangle free which also reduces the amount of hair around the house.

Fair enough. Have you asked your house guests why they think your pets are filthy then or do they just hate pets?

Karen91

The_Captain wrote: »

The dog seriously never leaves the house? You only let the cat out on a lead?

Take the poor mutt out for a walk once in a while

My dog gets a 1 hour walk everyday in the ballyhoura mountains so she gets plenty of excercise and fresh air thank you very much. We also have a small agility course for her in the garden that she enjoys. She does not like spending time alone out in the garden. The only time she goes out alone is to go to the toilet and then she comes straight back in.

And yes the cat only goes out on a lead because we don't want to see her squashed to the road.

Irish Stones

The_Captain wrote: »

You only let the cat out on a lead?

I take my cats out on a lead too, and they're happy like that.

DBB

Sigh.
The Captain, you can stop posting in this thread too.
Let me reiterate, it's okay to disagree with one another, but flaming and disrespecting other users of this forum will not be tolerated.
I will not be asking any more posters to stop posting in this thread. If anyone who wants to flame hasn't got the message by now, then the automatic ban they get will be well deserved.
No more warnings.
Do not reply to this post on thread.
Thanks,
DBB

Karen91

My OH contacted me telling me that he was in touch with his sister, it did not go over well at all. Her reply was her child was not going breathing the same air as any disease carrying animal! She gave him a huge lecture on the cheek of him to put two disgusting animals before his nephew bla bla bla so apparently they are going cancelling the whole trip because she got totally hysterical about the whole thing. No reasoning at all. She seems to think she has more right to our house than the animals. She will not stay in a hotel to accomodate an animal so they are not coming at all.

She refused to pay for the boarding costs because its not her problem we have pets.

All I can say is I am shocked and so is my OH but he said if she wants it that way let her off she, she will get over it on time.

ClubDead

Your SIL's attitude boils my blood :mad: I'm sorry to say I'm a complete push over but if someone asked that I removed my dog from her home for the sake of them or there kid they would be told to f**k off. My dog is better behaved and cleaner than most snot covered, sticky handed toddlers I've meet.

Ken.

Karen91 wrote: »

My OH contacted me telling me that he was in touch with his sister, it did not go over well at all. Her reply was her child was not going breathing the same air as any disease carrying animal! She gave him a huge lecture on the cheek of him to put two disgusting animals before his nephew bla bla bla so apparently they are going cancelling the whole trip because she got totally hysterical about the whole thing. No reasoning at all. She seems to think she has more right to our house than the animals. She will not stay in a hotel to accomodate an animal so they are not coming at all.

She refused to pay for the boarding costs because its not her problem we have pets.

All I can say is I am shocked and so is my OH but he said if she wants it that way let her off she, she will get over it on time.

2 questions.
1. Where is she coming from?
2. How long after the offer of a place to stay did they demand the removal of your pets?

cocker5

Karen91 wrote: »

My OH contacted me telling me that he was in touch with his sister, it did not go over well at all. Her reply was her child was not going breathing the same air as any disease carrying animal! She gave him a huge lecture on the cheek of him to put two disgusting animals before his nephew bla bla bla so apparently they are going cancelling the whole trip because she got totally hysterical about the whole thing. No reasoning at all. She seems to think she has more right to our house than the animals. She will not stay in a hotel to accomodate an animal so they are not coming at all.

She refused to pay for the boarding costs because its not her problem we have pets.

All I can say is I am shocked and so is my OH but he said if she wants it that way let her off she, she will get over it on time.

Its also not your problem she has a baby???
last time they visited minus the baby there was no issue!

Your house your rules.

Leave her at it OP she sounds like a wagon if I'm honest.

ClubDead

Karen91 wrote: »

My OH contacted me telling me that he was in touch with his sister, it did not go over well at all. Her reply was her child was not going breathing the same air as any disease carrying animal! She gave him a huge lecture on the cheek of him to put two disgusting animals before his nephew bla bla bla so apparently they are going cancelling the whole trip because she got totally hysterical about the whole thing. No reasoning at all. She seems to think she has more right to our house than the animals. She will not stay in a hotel to accomodate an animal so they are not coming at all.

She refused to pay for the boarding costs because its not her problem we have pets.

All I can say is I am shocked and so is my OH but he said if she wants it that way let her off she, she will get over it on time.

Jesus what a hysterical selfish fool! I'm glad you and your other half stood up to her.

Karen91

ken wrote: »

2 questions.
1. Where is she coming from?
2. How long after the offer of a place to stay did they demand the removal of your pets?

Shes travelling from Germany and its been two months since we offered for them to stay with us, I do not understand why she has decided to complain now.

eviltwin

Karen91 wrote: »

My OH contacted me telling me that he was in touch with his sister, it did not go over well at all. Her reply was her child was not going breathing the same air as any disease carrying animal! She gave him a huge lecture on the cheek of him to put two disgusting animals before his nephew bla bla bla so apparently they are going cancelling the whole trip because she got totally hysterical about the whole thing. No reasoning at all. She seems to think she has more right to our house than the animals. She will not stay in a hotel to accomodate an animal so they are not coming at all.

She refused to pay for the boarding costs because its not her problem we have pets.

All I can say is I am shocked and so is my OH but he said if she wants it that way let her off she, she will get over it on time.

She sounds a bit mad to be honest. How does she think other families with children and pets cope. I've had animals in the house all my kids lives, dogs, cats, hamsters, gerbils, fish...my kids have never caught an animal related illness. In fact they rarely get sick.

She wants your pets out of course she has to pay for it! How much does she think its going to cost between shots and fees. You'll be out of pocket. Is she for real? And even if she did offer to pay I'd still refuse. My pets don't do well in boarding, they are homebirds like yours are and its not fair or right to shove them out.

I hope your OH told her where to go.

eviltwin

ChubbyHubby wrote: »

Yes I know a place can kept relatively clean but no one have asked about the condition in the OPs house before condemning the demands of the house guests. I have seen some pretty badly kept pets and house for that matter in my time. Maybe the conditions in OPs house are fine for adults and not making a fuss about before but it's not ideal for babies. Also, dogs are not the same as cats. Easier to keep a place clean with only a cat.

With all due respect the condition of her home is not the issue here. Its her home, she is entitled to have dog poo all over the floor if she wants. If her guests don't like it they don't have to stay. How dare anyone start making demands on people good enough to put them up for a few days.

Garage_Sale

Why don't you ask if they can just leave the baby behind with someone instead?

Good riddance I would think!

username000

Sounds like a win for you OP - imagine having such a horrible individual staying for a week!

Karen91

eviltwin wrote: »

She sounds a bit mad to be honest. How does she think other families with children and pets cope. I've had animals in the house all my kids lives, dogs, cats, hamsters, gerbils, fish...my kids have never caught an animal related illness. In fact they rarely get sick.

I'm 25 and I have grown up with dogs and I also had fish and birds and rabbits growing up and I'm still alive. I wonder if this side to her always existed and now that she has a baby she has an excuse to complain.

bpmurray

Did she mention which disease(s) she believed could be caught from the "filthy animals"? While humans can catch worms, it's extremely unusual for diseases to jump species - remember all the fuss about swine & bird flu which were really big deals because of that jump.

borderlinemeath

Karen91 wrote: »

My OH contacted me telling me that he was in touch with his sister, it did not go over well at all. Her reply was her child was not going breathing the same air as any disease carrying animal! She gave him a huge lecture on the cheek of him to put two disgusting animals before his nephew bla bla bla so apparently they are going cancelling the whole trip because she got totally hysterical about the whole thing. No reasoning at all. She seems to think she has more right to our house than the animals. She will not stay in a hotel to accomodate an animal so they are not coming at all.

She refused to pay for the boarding costs because its not her problem we have pets.

All I can say is I am shocked and so is my OH but he said if she wants it that way let her off she, she will get over it on time.

It's not your problem that she has a baby! And it's your home!

She's a cheeky bitch to be honest. But some people do get like that when they become parents and the child must be wrapped in a bubble to protect from all germs :rolleyes: In fact, the baby is far more likely to catch germs/diseases/viruses from the other passengers on the plane on the journey over (I assume they're flying). There are very few diseases that are zoonotic and they don't exist in Ireland (Ireland is rabies free)

I really feel for children that grow up in a pet free environment, they miss out on so much. And it really does boost their immune system, your husband should send her some email links to articles that have proven that statistically children have a lesser chance of developing asthma and allergies and have a far more robust immune system because of exposure to healthy germs through living with pets. Marketing companies behind 99.9% germ free cleaning products have a lot to answer for, scaring consumers into thinking that we need to be completely germ free.

SpaceTime

I don't know why the Father Ted episode with Bishop Brennan and the plague of rabbits springs to mind.

Have you considered lettuce farming under your coffee table ??

(If you haven't seen episode this will make no sense).

Nody

Karen91 wrote: »

My OH contacted me telling me that he was in touch with his sister, it did not go over well at all. Her reply was her child was not going breathing the same air as any disease carrying animal! She gave him a huge lecture on the cheek of him to put two disgusting animals before his nephew bla bla bla so apparently they are going cancelling the whole trip because she got totally hysterical about the whole thing. No reasoning at all. She seems to think she has more right to our house than the animals. She will not stay in a hotel to accomodate an animal so they are not coming at all.

She refused to pay for the boarding costs because its not her problem we have pets.

All I can say is I am shocked and so is my OH but he said if she wants it that way let her off she, she will get over it on time.

Honestly with that type of attitude I'd say you've dodged a bullet; even if you had put them away in a kennel at your own cost I'm quite certain she'd find a ton of other things to complain about (hair, toys, smells, possibly lingering bugs in the carpet, cleaning standards, type of cleaning materials used, water quality, food quality etc.) to drive you up the wall with in 24h ending the whole thing in a shouting competition and an even worse break up.

Neyite

Just a word of warning OP, expect wider family to wade in to pressure you because of this strop of hers, now she's decided to cancel her trip. It sounds to me like its designed to get MIL or someone worked up enough to fight their corner on their behalf. There can be a tendency at times to blame the partner rather than the family member, so make sure your OH is not saying they are 'Karen's pets' but saying 'Our pets' if you know what I mean.

bmwguy

I will keep an eye on this one I don't think this has run its course. Is your OHs mother/father still alive? If so, you can expect them to be involved as another poster said. But, they may side with you on this, you are not obliged to open up your home to them. On the other hand, they might not, could go either way. Cancelling a trip and throwing a strop though, what a bitch.

magicmushroom

I cannot believe that people on here have dared to question the OP on the state of her home - what's that got to do with anything?!

If the house was dirty the SIL wouldn't want to stay full stop. It was clean enough for her to stay before, she is just being precious now because she has a baby.

OP you have done the right thing, you very kindly offered to let her stay and she has been very rude in her handling of the situation.
At least you don't need to extend that offer in the future, you can leave them to their own devices.

Your pets are very lucky to have such a loving home!

ETA: I put 2 of my cats into kennels for a long weekend once. It was advertised as 'luxury boarding' with pictures of huge cages, toys etc...when I went to pick them up, they were both cowering at the back of a cage that was too low for them to stand properly - one of them honestly wasn't right for the 2 days after it, very quiet and withdrawn.
I will NEVER put them into anywhere like that again, even for a day.

Alicat

What a COW! If any other family members start ganging up on you, don't give in! Calmly tell them that they can put the guests up if they're that bothered by it.

Responding to tantrums by Drama Queens like that only escalates things. You don't have to explain yourself anymore.

Neyite

Alicat wrote: »

What a COW! If any other family members start ganging up on you, don't give in! Calmly tell them that they can put the guests up if they're that bothered by it.

Responding to tantrums by Drama Queens like that only escalates things. You don't have to explain yourself anymore.

Thinking more on this, the germaphobe behaviour and OTT reaction, if its out of character, might be a red flag for the likes of post-natal depression or the like. Obviously the OP would have to be very delicate in bringing it up - if at all - but even if its not, post partum hormones can be a bit loopy at times.

Ken.

This incident might be a blessing in disguise for some poor creature in a pound. Watch as other family members rush out to get a new cat or dog to put the Woman off landing herself on them.

Karen91

Neyite wrote: »

Just a word of warning OP, expect wider family to wade in to pressure you because of this strop of hers, now she's decided to cancel her trip. It sounds to me like its designed to get MIL or someone worked up enough to fight their corner on their behalf. There can be a tendency at times to blame the partner rather than the family member, so make sure your OH is not saying they are 'Karen's pets' but saying 'Our pets' if you know what I mean.

I am bracing myself for the back lash from the MIL this the first grandchild so I am sure she will be on to voice her opinion on the matter! All I can say is why me!! :mad:

Alicat

Loopy indeed, but it shouldn't be up to the OP to make allowances for her, to the point that she has to put her own animals into a kennel at her own expense. If it is a genuine concern that post-natal depression is setting all that off, maybe the husband could have a word with his brother-in-law. However, it doesn't change the fact that this is not the OP's problem to fix.

DBB

Folks,
I understand the anger towards the SIL, but can we rein back on the rather strident names she's being called by some posters here?
As neyite says, there may be issues going on that are making her a bit crazy and unreasonable, and some new mams can be a tad precious about their new babies in any case.
Thanks,
DBB