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Child Item

Visitors want us to remove the cat and dog while they are staying with us

Karen91

The sister of my OH is visiting us from abroad in 2 months with her husband and baby they will be staying for a week with us. My OH told me that she has requested that we remove the animals while they stay with us for the safety of her baby.

The cat and dog are both house pets the cat is never allowed out unless on a lead because we live near a busy road and the dog only goes out to relieve herself and comes straight back in. So basically we would have to board them for the week while they are here, my parents might be able to take the dog but the cat would have to be boarded for sure as mother is not a fan of cats.

I am rather insulted about it and I am tempted to tell her find alternative accomodation, would it be unreasonable of me to do so?

Some opinions on the matter would be greatly appreciated!

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Hollister11

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Yes, how insane that I think humans take priority over animals. But I'm also saying that if the visiting sister wants the animals gone, she should pay for it.

But why should the sister dictate that the pets should go to a kennel. Away from there family, there home. ??
As I said if the sister isn't happy co-habating with animals, she can get the f**k and pay for hotel accommodation.

Milly33

OMG and yes I did say it. I hate this crap.. It is your home and your rules apply. Sorry but animals can get very put out by moving them, fine a night or two is ok but if it is needless then sod it.. I remember my sister was like this for a while even with her own animals and thank god she came out of it. For some unknow reason they think that a cat is going to attack the child and crawl into its crib while tis sleeping and eat it.. MM not unless it has a pound of kitty snacks attached..

I would stand my ground and say well look the animals will be there fine we can comp remise and not have them in the same rooms all the time but that's it..

Karen91

Yes she actually said filthy animals, I will never understand people with this attitude. My OH tried to reason with her, she said they are just animals and her baby is more important.

This got to me even more I adore my two girls so its very frustrating when I get the its only a cat or only a dog.

Their not the type of pets that can be put in a kennel though they have never been boarded before my parents usually take the dog and a friend of mine takes the cat when we go away but my friend is away that week and my parents could possibly be away then also.

I am going to give her two choices get over the fact that the animals are in the house or go find a hotel!

[Deleted User]

Hollister11 wrote: »

But why should the sister dictate that the pets should go to a kennel. Away from there family, there home. ??
As I said if the sister isn't happy co-habating with animals, she can get the f**k and pay for hotel accommodation.

Sure, if that's how they want to do things.

But for me, my relationship with my sister is more important to me than my relationship to my pet, so I'd be willing to compromise as far as a kennel...provided she paid.

Others are different. But I've no intention of falling out with loved ones over pets.

[Deleted User]

Karen91 wrote: »

Yes she actually said filthy animals, I will never understand people with this attitude...

I am going to give her two choices get over the fact that the animals are in the house or go find a hotel!

Fair enough.

shruikan2553

If I had such a problem with animals I wouldnt decide to stay with someone who owned some. Even with the animals moved elsewhere the place would be covered in hair etc unless they get some industrial cleaning in there.

DoYouEvenLift

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Yes, how insane that I think humans take priority over animals. But I'm also saying that if the visiting sister wants the animals gone, she should pay for it.

The pets would go from being in a warm comfortable home and beds to a dog kennel where they'd probably not be comfortable and wondering where their owner is gone. However the people who are visiting could just stay at a hotel and would be very comfortable in one.

Also the fact she called ops pets "filthy animal's" implies she assumes they don't take care of them so that's a blatant lack of respect

ABajaninCork

Mystery Egg wrote: »

My husband is allergic to cats and can be quite ill for 48 hours after being exposed to them. We ask our friends to put the cats out when we're there and everyone has always been really good about it. I'd have no interest in a friend who'd put the comfort of a cat before the comfort of a person.

Having said that, regarding the OP's sister and her long visit at the OP's home, I think it's absolutely fair to ask her to pay for the kennells. If she won't, then she can just put up with the animals and be grateful.

I am a big believer in having good boundaries but telling a loved one to eff off or get stuffed over an animal makes no sense to me.

My niece and my SiL are also seriously allergic to cats, and I used to hoover and put the cats out if they came over. So what?? But that's not what we're talking about here is it? The OP's relative simply does not want the animals around her baby. Fair enough. In that case, why can't she find a hotel or other family member to stay with. The relative has shown ignorance and arrogance which I would not be prepared to put up with.

Flippyfloppy

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Sure, if that's how they want to do things.

But for me, my relationship with my sister is more important to me than my relationship to my pet, so I'd be willing to compromise as far as a kennel...provided she paid.

Others are different. But I've no intention of falling out with loved ones over pets.

Is this a hypothetical pet or a real pet we're speaking of?

Ken.

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Sure, if that's how they want to do things.

But for me, my relationship with my sister is more important to me than my relationship to my pet, so I'd be willing to compromise as far as a kennel...provided she paid.

Others are different. But I've no intention of falling out with loved ones over pets.

At least I'll never have that problem with my brother. Here's 2 pics of some of his pet cats.

Tearin It Up

OP get a picture frame and hang this on your wall

ABajaninCork

Tearin It Up wrote: »

OP get a picture frame and hang this on your wall

Amen!

the_syco

Mystery Egg wrote: »

My husband is allergic to cats and can be quite ill for 48 hours after being exposed to them.

The difference is that the visitors are not allergic.

If your husband didn't have an allergic reaction, and just didn't like cats, I'm sure he would've been told long ago to shove it.

In this instance, the sister has decided to come to a house that they know has animals in it, with the condition that the animals are not there.

Drexel

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Yes, how insane that I think humans take priority over animals. But I'm also saying that if the visiting sister wants the animals gone, she should pay for it.

What if next time she decideds she doesn't like the paint colour on the wall?
Would you paint it a different colour?

She is making unreasonable demands and that's the problem. There is no allergy issue or anything like that. She just thinks her baby might catch something off a house pet cat and dog. Unreasonable and would be told fûck right off.

Karen91

Tearin It Up wrote: »

OP get a picture frame and hang this on your wall

Love this!

lulu1

Mystery Egg wrote: »

Sure, if that's how they want to do things.

But for me, my relationship with my sister is more important to me than my relationship to my pet, so I'd be willing to compromise as far as a kennel...provided she paid.

Others are different. But I've no intention of falling out with loved ones over pets.

It's a pity that the sister in law dosn't think that

brownswiss

Just send her the link to these posts

InTheTrees

Karen91 wrote: »

My OH told me that she has requested that we remove the animals while they stay with us for the safety of her baby.

So its for safety?

I've never heard of such a thing.

I wonder what she thinks might happen with your pets? Does she think the cat will attack the baby? Spread disease?

Plainly she's neurotic so maybe If you found out exactly what these safety issues were you may be able to soothe her concerns.

clappyhappy

I would speak calmly and firmly to SIL, say we are looking forward to ye staying with us for such a long period of yer stay at home, but as you know we have pets who live in our home. Say you are aware of concerns of kid around pets but offer to keep them in house away from baby. Chances are pets will get bored with kid after a few hours. Explain that pets will not be left outside for their safely and if they feel strongly about not having pets around the kid, maybe they should think of somewhere else to stay, (politely of course) baby and pets will be watched at all times and offer to keep in a different room.
Just say you are not willing to remove your pets for a full week as it may unsettle them. I honestly think she is overreacting, obviously it's a first child.....,

Patty O Furniture

Give her directions to a hotel & accidentally it turns out to be a dog-hotel, although your OH may never hear the tale-end of it

Karen91

InTheTrees wrote: »

So its for safety?

I've never heard of such a thing.

I wonder what she thinks might happen with your pets? Does she think the cat will attack the baby? Spread disease?

Plainly she's neurotic so maybe If you found out exactly what these safety issues were you may be able to soothe her concerns.

She thinks our filthy pets (she said they were filthy) have diseases and her child will contract something from them.

InTheTrees

Karen91 wrote: »

She thinks our filthy pets (she said they were filthy) have diseases and her child will contract something from them.

Ah young inexperienced paranoid mothers...

Karen91

InTheTrees wrote: »

Ah young inexperienced paranoid mothers...

The fact they did not have pets growing up is probably contributing to this paranoid behaviour!

thefeatheredcat

Karen91 wrote: »

I am going to give her two choices get over the fact that the animals are in the house or go find a hotel!

If she thinks animals are dirty then she obviously is still very new to being a parent if she's not a bit grossed out by the dirty nappies and the piles of puke, snotty noses and colds that comes with babies and toddlers! You can happily tell her that my 2 year old nephew picked up that nasty bug that was going around at Christmas time from being in creche and playgroup and around other children, who then passed it onto his parents, they reinfected eachother and passed it onto us when they visited us.

Honestly OP I wouldn't budge, if your pets are indoor only, have never been boarded before then quite frankly it would be better for all that your pets stay at their home and that your guests go find themselves appropriate accommodation at their expense.

I actually wouldn't even have your guests stay in the house at all, for the simple reason that a baby can be quite stressful for dogs and cats (folks' cats run in the opposite direction of babies, toddlers and strange feet) and if they have no exit or safe place they can run away to, they're going to feel trapped and more likely to do as probably what your visitors expect and fear: claw/bite them or the child. I'd only let them stay if they are not likely to corner or bother your pets and you actively tell them that the dog and cat would only ever react negatively if they are threatened in any way.

I think you should consider too if they are going to be using those safety gates on stairs or around the house between rooms or not and if that is likely to stop your pets getting around their home. If they are likely to insist on them in specific places that blocks access to your pets' beds, food, space in general, then that is another reason to request that they get their own accommodation, rather than them tolerating all under the same roof.

I'd tell them that they are welcome to visit for dinner or for coffee or to visit in general and your pets will have the house as normal, but that you will not be making special arrangements/provisions to keep the pets out of the way during that time. If they do visit, I'd keep a special eye on the pets just in case they do react to baby screaming or their behaviour changes in any way or if baby is a toddler who might be curious and follow them/chase them and unintentionally trap them, just to prevent anything from happening that proves the fears of being bitten by a dog or scratched by a cat - where especially the pet is not the cause, but is reacting e.g. tail ears being pulled or whatever - from ever happening.

My brother and sister in law aren't pet-friendly people, sister in law has massive anxieties about dogs specifically but previous to married life and motherhood would have been quite disgusted by even the idea of cleaning up cat puke, poo, food or mess of cats at all, even stuff like changing a litter tray! And they were fearful of getting scratched by the cats, but we have actively reminded them every stay, if you don't threaten or corner them, they won't scratch you and actually will run away out the catflap or somewhere else.

Let them stay elsewhere and come over to your house without any changes and let them see it's perfectly safe, clean and ok for their child to be around in.

Tearin It Up

Karen91 wrote: »

She thinks our filthy pets (she said they were filthy) have diseases and her child will contract something from them.

Like what exactly? If they are inside pets.

If her child can pick up diseases, adults can too. Zoonotic diseases don't just pick babies abd children, they get passed onto anyone. She might as well say you're filthy too OP.

InTheTrees

Karen91 wrote: »

The fact they did not have pets growing up is probably contributing to this paranoid behaviour!

Oh absolutely.

I dont trust anybody that cant take a full dog lick to the lips or who cant bury their face in a cats fur!

Zapperzy

I'm not particularly fond of babies or kids in general, would it be fair of me to visit a family member and ask to live with them for a period of time on the condition they find somewhere else for the child to go.

Her being nervous of an unfamiliar pet attacking her child is fair enough. This could be something that could be discussed and a compromise reached. Calling your pets filthy animals who will infect her precious baby with disease is unreasonable. She should've just chosen to stay elsewhere in the first place, her demands are unreasonable and plain rude.

I dread to think what she thinks of kids reared on farms.

The Masculinist

Tread carefully!

While I think your OH's sister is bang out of order (I would also be insulted), do you really want to fall out with her over this? It would be equally insulting if you told her to stay elsewhere and it would make things very awkward for your OH!

Also, bear in mind that new mothers can be over protective of their little darlings, particularly if your OH's sister wasn't raised with animals.

My solution would be to get a cage/kennel and put them outside. It would keep everyone happy and it's only for a week. While your sister's OH is out of order, surely it will help keep the peace for the sake of it.

Zapperzy

Another thing to think about is if you do plan on putting them in kennels/cattery they both need to be up to date with vaccines. That includes kennel cough for the dog. €12-15 per night for the dog and €9-12 per night for the cat on average Is what kennels charge.

Karen91

The Masculinist wrote: »

Tread carefully!

My solution would be to get a cage/kennel and put them outside. It would keep everyone happy and it's only for a week. While your sister's OH is out of order, surely it will help keep the peace for the sake of it.

Its not an option for my girls to sleep outside, they have been indoors from day one they have their own room in the house their beds are there they enjoy the company of the tv so they have a small tv in there too along with toys the cat has a tower in there. The dog is a toy breed shes a pomeranian people think that she does not get cold because shes so fluffy but they over estimate the thickness of her coat but she does get cold she is not an outdoor dog.