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Child Item

Weirdest chat up line

Witchie

At a friend's birthday party and a guy about half my age was chatting to me and quite obviously flirting then said:

You will be in your bed soon with your feet burnt by the bulb.

I just laughed.

What is the weirdest chat up line you have used or had used on you?

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wretcheddomain

When Linda Martin sang Get Lucky to me live from Saturday Night Show studios.

Iranoutofideas

Do you want to go halves on a bastard?

Birneybau

Can I smell your fanny?

No!

It must be your feet then.

The Backwards Man

I use 'Do you want to buy a load of turf?' on tinder, works a charm.

Sold three load so far.

thelad95

You must make milkshake because I was in your yard last night.

eternal

'Do you want to dance?'
'No.'
'Suppose a blowjob's out of the question then.' (50 year old guy to 17 year old me)

'I was thinking of something exciting to say to you but by the time I got over here, I couldn't
remember what is was.' (My second cousin who didn't recognise me and went blood red when I told him who I was)

Random asshole in Kilkenny grabbing my breast on the street: 'I'd like a nice, comfortable hole to slip into.'

pablo128

Hows your belly for a lodger?

Talib Fiasco

"Hey my d*ck just died, can I bury it in your arse?". It's weird because it works.

Kovu

Him- ''F**k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Aishling?''
Me- "No...."
Him-

EoghanIRL

Everytime you look away I take a hair and add it to my collection .

wardy2

does this smell like chloroform to you?

CJ Haughey

I have a front grab.

NachoBusiness

I'm not Asian but I'd still like to eat your pussy.

Hi, can I have your number?
No, I have a boyfriend.
I have a maths exam next week.
'Maths exam'? What?
Sorry, weren't we talking about things we were going to cheat on?

AndonHandon

"I refuse to pay for water".
Your man was bent as fcuk, small, fat and on the dole.

jamesbere

EoghanIRL wrote: »

Everytime you look away I take a hair and add it to my collection .

Charming

Wang King

Many years ago I had a woman come up to me and tell me I looked like the gay lad off Fair City
It was unusual....but it worked for her

The Sidewards Man

Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?

Purple Mountain

You're smashing...

I ran for the hills pretty quickly!!

RWCNT

Some lad in Ibiza to my ex years ago -

"Excuse me, what perfume are you wearing?"
"I'm not wearing any"
"Well you must smell ****ing good in bed then!"

Macavity.

Me: Are you from Tennessee?
Her: (unimpressed) Why, because I'm the only ten you see? :rolleyes:
Me: No, it's just you've got a real inbred look about you.

AlanS181824

One I heard before.

"Are you a swan? Cos you have skinny legs and fat arse!"

Charming right?

Potential Underachiever

'I'm looking for somewhere warm to park the willy wagon tonight'

'Nice legs, what time do they open at?'

'See my mate over there (point), her (yeah), he wants to know if you fancy me.

Fuzzytrooper

Roses are red, voilets are blue.
I have a knife, get in the van...

Robsweezie

something about balls, broken glass, farting and a walkie talkie

Zippie84

"Hi."

Chickentown

wardy2 wrote: »

does this smell like chloroform to you?

Ok Jimmy Carr

lazybones32

Chickentown wrote: »

Ok Jimmy Carr

Jimmy Carr's joke-writers you mean?

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

catallus

I love the seal-laugh from Jimmy

Wang King

It's a watered down version of Eddie Murphy's from Delirious