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General Chat Thread (PLEASE READ POST #1)

Toots

Hi folks!

Myself and iguana thought it would be a good idea to start a general chat thread in the forum. There can often be a lot of chat on threads, which can sometimes send things off on a bit of a tangent away from the topic of the thread. This isn't a bad thing, but often if someone's posted looking for advice it can be a bit difficult for them to sift through all the chat.

At the moment, the idea is in 'Pilot Mode'. It works well in other forums, but we all know things can get a bit carried away here sometimes, so providing everyone plays nice, it's here to stay.

If the thing becomes one big bitch fest, and becomes a nightmare to moderate, we'll get rid of it.

The idea of the thread is that it's a friendly place for users to come and have a laugh or a general natter, without feeling intimidated. We don't want to be too rigid with rules, but in order to preserve the light-hearted nature of the thread there are a couple that we'll need to make clear:

The forum Charter, and the Boards.ie sitewide rules still apply to this thread.
There'll be zero tolerance on posters acting the dick in the thread. This includes, but is not limited to, being overly judge-y, thinly veiled digs at other posters, open digs at other posters, being bitchy or nasty in general. Basically, the best thing to do is stop and think "If this post was addressed to, or written about me, would I be happy about seeing it?" if the answer is no, then don't post it.
If you're posting a link to something that might not be suitable to be viewed in the workplace, please make sure and warn that it's NSFW.
If you see a post that goes against the above, please PLEASE use the Report Post button. We'd really appreciate it!

So without further ado, let me introduce you to our new general chat thread; The General Chat Thread!! (It took us hours to come up with the name! :pac:)

So basically anyone who wants to talk about stuff that's very loosely related to weddings (or any old random stuff really) come on down and post here! Also, if a thread is getting very cluttered up with chat, we'll just move the posts here, so the discussion can continue without derailing the other thread.

Happy chatting!

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Liam McPoyle

Dovies wrote: »

I got engaged at the weekend! :D:D

Nothing else to say really - just had to tell you all!

Congrats D, I saw your thread on venues yesterday and I remembered you from the old online dating thread in tGC, delighted for you.

Re the pre marriage course, I have to say, both burd and I really enjoyed ours.

The facilitators were fantastic so I'm sure that helped.

We got our suits 99% sorted last weekend too which I'm delighted with as my best man is in Canada and won't be home til a week before the wedding and my groomsman is moving to New Zealand in 2 weeks and he won't be back til a week before too.

westernlass

I know, I have about 20 secret boards. At least I'm getting married. Had 2 before that

Toots

Jaysus that can be a dangerous passtime!

westernlass

Pinterest will be your new addiction

fits

its often easier to think about what you dont want, and work from there.

MistyCheese

Being newly engaged is a wonderful time where every option is a possibility. You could get married on a beach, by a waterfall, in a forest, whatever you like. Only recently did Ireland allow couples to get married outside. Or of course you could go abroad; ornate church in Italy, tropical beach in the Carribean, big park in Prague...

Toots

Congratulations Dovies!!

It can often be tough deciding what you want, especially cos there's so much to choose from! Just take your time and go around various venues etc, and see if anything jumps out at you!

stargazer 68

MistyCheese wrote: »

Congratulations! Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of wedding planning.

Did all the organising for my sisters last year - Bit different when its your own though as I don't know what I want!

MistyCheese

Dovies wrote: »

I got engaged at the weekend! :D:D

Nothing else to say really - just had to tell you all!

Congratulations! Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of wedding planning.

stargazer 68

I got engaged at the weekend!

:D:D

Nothing else to say really - just had to tell you all!

MistyCheese

These stories are making me glad my husband and I didn't have to do a pre-marriage course! It sounds a bit patronizing.

Milly33

well done fits!! And enjoy the break...well deserved I am sure.. I must get my arse in gear now and start saving more..Himself is great at it, but Im not doing the best lately

fits

So excited. Been saving like crazy for the last year and think we have the wedding covered. Got an unexpected windfall last week and am using part of it to treat ourselves to a weekend in the europe hotel in killarney for our birthdays. Had been looking into london but realised we could do something uber fancy here for less. Yay! We havent had a break in ages and OH is working mega hard at the moment.

Toots

It was pretty much exactly that! I'd have loved if the husband had been there giving the course too, and we got his side of the story. I reckon he's one of those guys who spends a lot of time out in the shed, ostensibly fixing stuff, but really just trying to avoid her!

Scarinae

Toots wrote: »

I felt very sorry for her hubby! He was the butt of all her 'jokes' that day. Every time we got to a new topic of the course, she had a little story about her marriage which inevitably ended up with her husband burning the dinner/tracking spilled paint all over the house/running the lawnmower over her flowerbeds/expecting his breakfast brought up to him every day/leaving the toilet seat up/not knowing how to cook/trying to do the laundry and failing/etc.

That just makes me think of Father Ted!

“Remember last year, Mrs Dunne, when your husband tried to wash a cup and burned the house down? And Mrs Collins, when Mr Collins tried to make a bed on his own and lost a leg?”

tinkerbell

Completely agree, lazygal. It's a massive bugbear of mine when I hear people going on about how marriage is "just a piece of paper", it changes nothing, etc.

No - it's actually a pretty big deal. People are just so ignorant to the reality of what marriage is - you become Next of Kin to each other and if you have children, your partner gets automatic rights. It's foolish IMHO to just plod along without marriage when you do intend staying together and / or have children.

lazygal

A lot of people really need to educate thesmselves on the whole next of kin thing. I think many were taken aback by the fact that the clinically dead woman's father rather than her partner and the father of the foetus was the one involved in end of life decisions in the recent case. One of the main, less romantic, reasons we got married was because of that. My parents wouldn't think to not have a full catholic funeral for me and would be squiffy about cremation or other preferences I have expressed. Whereas I know my husband would do what I would prefer and what we have discussed, and vice versa.

It was also because we both wanted children and wanted to be their next of kin that we got married. My husband has seen too many men caught out by not being married when it comes to dealing with their children that there was no way he'd have had a child unless we were married. I know most people manage to deal with having children outside of marriage pretty ok but I'd rather not take the chance.

Neyite

I don't get people who moan about their partners the whole time like that. I think its really disrespectful. And people who witter on about their ailments constantly are so boring!

In some ways, addressing topics you wouldn't normally do is a good idea- for instance, because of the couple of cases in the last couple of years concerning maternal deaths during pregnancy, it made me more certain I want my partner, and not my current next-of-kin to make decisions on behalf of me and my family, because my partner would be very much on the same page as me, whereas my NOK is a bit, eh, iona.

Toots

TBH they can be very hit-and-miss depending on who you get. I was dreading the bit where the priest came in to talk to us, but it turned out that the priest was great and really helpful - answered loads of questions we had about stuff. The two women who were giving the course were odd to say the least, though. One was grand, but she seemed to be 'newer' to the role than the other one, so mostly took a back seat.

The other woman would have been in her 60s or thereabouts, and honestly from hearing her talk I felt very sorry for her hubby! He was the butt of all her 'jokes' that day. Every time we got to a new topic of the course, she had a little story about her marriage which inevitably ended up with her husband burning the dinner/tracking spilled paint all over the house/running the lawnmower over her flowerbeds/expecting his breakfast brought up to him every day/leaving the toilet seat up/not knowing how to cook/trying to do the laundry and failing/etc. Oh, and the weekend was also peppered with announcements about how she'd hurt her toe the previous week and it was all bandaged up. By the end of it, every time she mentioned it, everyone was staring at the floor, because if you' caught anyone's eye it would have been game over, and you wouldn't have been able to hold in the laughter.

westernlass

Slattsy wrote: »

Had our pre-marriage course yesterday. Complete waste of time, absolutely pointless.
The plus was its beside The Long Hall so had a lovely few pints after

But its done now.

That's actaully comforting to hear. We are having a humanist ceremony and something about not doing the pre Marraige course has been bugging me. Like we'll miss something important. I actually googled it and made him talk to me about kids, religion, money, house plans, etc. we had already discussed it but I was being a bit paranoid

pooch90

Haha,what I said to the girl in the jewellers when we got my engagement ring was "I want something that will still look good when I'm slobbing in a tracksuit with broken nails". And it does!

January

liz lemoncello wrote: »

I couldn't find the thread, but whenever I see very expensive rings, with huge diamonds, I just know I could never wear one as I will never have the manicure to live up to it. In fact, I think I'd need a hand transplant.

This exactly...

I got married a month ago and I didn't have an engagement ring beforehand because I had lost it... when I got the wedding ring on my finger I had lovely acrylic nails and when they came off I was so disappointed with how my hand looked so stumpy and my lovely ring didn't look as glamorous without perfectly manicured fingers... we went on honeymoon and we replaced my engagement ring and now I can't wait to get my nails done again! I usually hate acrylic nails but I love how they make my fingers look longer and more slender so the rings look better ha

LynnGrace

January wrote: »

There's a range of them on ebay starting between 4,500 dollars and going up to 11,000 dollars.

This website has it priced at anything between €8,000 and €90,000 depending on the diamond :eek:

http://luxehighlife.com/jewellery/top-10-engagement-rings

liz lemoncello wrote: »

I couldn't find the thread, but whenever I see very expensive rings, with huge diamonds, I just know I could never wear one as I will never have the manicure to live up to it. In fact, I think I'd need a hand transplant.

These were the ones, on the link January posted, that I was talking about, putting my eyes on stalks.

Agree, then again, if I had that much money to spare, I'd probably be having daily manicures

liz lemoncello

LynnGrace wrote: »

My eyes were out on stalks, looking at those...not even so much at the rings, as the prices! 46k! 90k! I was trying (and failing) to imagine going around every day with something that cost so much, on my hand .

I couldn't find the thread, but whenever I see very expensive rings, with huge diamonds, I just know I could never wear one as I will never have the manicure to live up to it. In fact, I think I'd need a hand transplant.

LynnGrace

Toots wrote: »

Imagine you dropped it down the sink when you were washing your hands!

Exactly. I'd be petrified

Toots

fits wrote: »

They are completely loaded. But I agree. But if she didn't like it at the start... they should have changed it then. And I am sure it was returnable.

The thing is I reckon it probably would have been 'returnable' but that she'd have had to choose something else from the same company. I'd be surprised if Cartier (or any of the stores) would let you return a (let's say) $40,000 ring, and walk away with a full refund.

However, unless it's a one-off custom piece, I can't imagine that they wouldn't have let her pick another ring from their collections. I wonder was the fiance a bit embarrassed at the thought of going back to the store, so told her it couldn't be returned.

My cousin lives in the US and he bought his now-wife's engagement ring from Cartier (it wasn't $40k) and he wanted to get it engraved on the inside of the band. The store specifically said to him to leave the engraving until after the engagement because if the ring didn't suit, he could exchange it for something else, but if it'd been engraved then they couldn't.

I'm not sure if the policy is different if you're spending >$10k (for example) so maybe the fiance was telling the truth, but I suspect he wasn't being entirely upfront. Or if he did something like brought a bit of string with her finger size, and had the ring specifically sized before giving it to her, then that would probably mean he was stuck with it.

LynnGrace wrote: »

My eyes were out on stalks, looking at those...not even so much at the rings, as the prices! 46k! 90k! I was trying (and failing) to imagine going around every day with something that cost so much, on my hand .

Imagine you dropped it down the sink when you were washing your hands!

Slattsy

Had our pre-marriage course yesterday. Complete waste of time, absolutely pointless.
The plus was its beside The Long Hall so had a lovely few pints after

But its done now.

XxMCRxBabyxX

fits wrote: »

I think a post was deleted on there since but as far as I remember they stood to lose a lotta money.

Weird about the link not working... if you search for Cartier and tiffany and "should I change my engagement ring" you'll find.

I tried that on my phone and it still wouldn't work!

LynnGrace

Toots wrote: »

Holy crap!!! OK, I think the guy's not entirely blameless here, unless he's completely loaded, you don't go and drop that kind of moo on something you can't return.

On another note, OMgod the no.3 ring on that list is stunning!

My eyes were out on stalks, looking at those...not even so much at the rings, as the prices! 46k! 90k! I was trying (and failing) to imagine going around every day with something that cost so much, on my hand

tinkerbell

fits wrote: »

They are completely loaded. But I agree. But if she didn't like it at the start... they should have changed it then. And I am sure it was returnable.

It just confuses me cos the two rings look exactly the same to my eye and only a jeweller would notice the difference.

No they are actually quite a bit different - there was also a comparison pic on that thread when I saw it yesterday. The T&C ring has a 6 prong setting, the 1895 ring has a 4 prong setting