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Can you be just friends with members of the oppisite sex?

steddyeddy

Can you be really close friends with members of the opposite sex without the following happening:

One person develops feelings
One person thinks the other person likes them
Friends assume there's other people going on between you and your friend :mad:
Accidentally sleep with them and ruin the friendship

Now it's the third option down that really bugs me. I am really good friends with some girls. They're are genuinely only friends yet everyone is insisting that there's something going on between us or that one of us wants something more. I mean I'm 30 and people still can't accept you can be friends with a girl without wanting to get into her pants.

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darced

This post has been deleted.

lazygal

Tarzana2 wrote: »

You had to marry to realise you can have platonic friendships with the opposite sex? That is so very odd.

No, it's just different now I'm married. A different commitment and as I'm not looking for anything with anyone else besides friendship it simplifies things a lot.

TheBeardedLady

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Of course. How is this even a question?

People really do question it. Mad stuff.

BrowmThomas

I have never had a male friend who hasn't tried it on at some point in our friendship. Even a few married guys have tried.
Bit awkward telling a guy we are just friends but I act like it never happened and it soon passes!

steddyeddy

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Of course. How is this even a question?

Well of course to me and you but it's a no to a lot of people and that can cause problems in the friendship.

TheBeardedLady

BrowmThomas wrote: »

I have never had a male friend who hasn't tried it on at some point in our friendship. Even a few married guys have tried.
Bit awkward telling a guy we are just friends but I act like it never happened and it soon passes!

I've ended one or two friendships when this happened (when I found out they were interested beyond just friendship). I wouldn't call what you've outlined above a friendship in the strictest sense, more some fella hanging on in the hopes you'll change your mind. Not something I'm into personally.

steddyeddy

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

I've ended one or two friendships when this happened (when I found out they were interested beyond just friendship). I wouldn't call what you've outlined above a friendship in the strictest sense, more some fella hanging on in the hopes you'll change your mind. Not something I'm into personally.

Indeed. I don't think wanting something more to happen is friendship.

steddyeddy

But there are friendships that start off innocent and feelings develop.

osarusan

Yes it is possible.

In my case it is possible with people that I find attractive.

Buona Fortuna

Course you can just be friends.

If they're hot though there's nothing wrong with borrowing a pair of their undies to crank one out.

Frigga_92

You sure can.
My husband has loads of female friends, some of whom are exes, and I have loads of male friends and there has never been a problem.
I think worrying about things like that doesn't do anyone any good and I also think it's a waste of time.

If you don't trust someone around the opposite sex you're going to live a very sad life. If someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat, worrying about it won't stop it from happening.

[Deleted User]

I hope I never accidentally sleep with someone, sounds dangerous.

I'd hate to think people I considered friends actually had ulterior motives to seek my company. I don't think it's ever happened as it's usually quite clear when someone is interested in you romantically.

Yes, I think straight men and women can be friends, and yes there are people who don't believe that, but I'd imagine it's because of their own experiences of unrequited feelings.

ChaosSymbol

Of course you can. Any suggestion otherwise is just silly and immature. If you're a girl, not every guy you meet wants to jump your bones. If you had a female friend who 'came out', would that mean she automatically wants to sleep with you? No, it wouldn't.

On another note, how the actual fcuk of all fcuks do you 'accidentally' sleep with someone?!

catallus

ChaosSymbol wrote: »

On another note, how the actual fcuk of all fcuks do you 'accidentally' sleep with someone?!

Get drunk and slip? Or something.

fineso.mom

ChaosSymbol wrote: »

On another note, how the actual fcuk of all fcuks do you 'accidentally' sleep with someone?!

Easy...if you both have narcolepsy and spend a lot of time together,,,it's bound to happen eventually.

Wibbs

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Don't know about the scent and immune system stuff though, sounds a wee bit pseud and airy fairy to me.

Not really, t'is actual research and science.

Mister Vain

ChaosSymbol wrote: »

On another note, how the actual fcuk of all fcuks do you 'accidentally' sleep with someone?!

It happened to my mate. He rode the wrong twin.

onlyrocknroll

Of course

... I don't even understand how it's a question.

Look at all the millions of people who have platonic friends of the opposite sex.

It's like asking if there's really such things as cups.

Yes... just f*cking look at all the ones all around you!

catallus

onlyrocknroll wrote: »

..
It's like asking if there's really such things as cups.

Yes... just f*cking look at all the ones all around you!

What kind of cups?

Tarzana2

Wibbs wrote: »

Not really, t'is actual research and science.

Links to scientific studies please. Or properly cited articles, not Wiki segments with vague statements and little to no citations.

I've asked you to link a study before to stony silence. :pac:

fineso.mom

onlyrocknroll wrote: »

Of course ... I don't even understand how it's a question.

The structure of the sentence and the question mark at the end,,, that's pretty much it really.

FunLover18

Nah, you can be enemies with them as well

catallus

catallus wrote: »

What kind of cups?

Are mugs cups?

BrowmThomas

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

I've ended one or two friendships when this happened (when I found out they were interested beyond just friendship). I wouldn't call what you've outlined above a friendship in the strictest sense, more some fella hanging on in the hopes you'll change your mind. Not something I'm into personally.

Friends for years. I always thought it was just them trying it on when drunk so I put it down to that. I wouldn't want to loose a friend just because he was drunk and tried it on.

Johny_cash

What about those other people

Mister Vain

Johny_cash wrote: »

What about those other people

Who? The fordiners?

Johny_cash

Mister Vain wrote: »

Who? The fordiners?

the ones who don't like to get physical with anyone

Vandango

steddyeddy wrote: »

Can you be just friends with members of the oppisite sex?

Yes, unless you're a serial killer or a sex offender.

Mister Vain

Johny_cash wrote: »

the ones who don't like to get physical with anyone

Ahh you mean the asexuals? They'd be a rare enough breed.

Greentopia

Of course you can so long as both are only interested in friendship and nothing more.

BrowmThomas wrote: »

I have never had a male friend who hasn't tried it on at some point in our friendship. Even a few married guys have tried.
Bit awkward telling a guy we are just friends but I act like it never happened and it soon passes!

Same for me with the married guys.
Apart from two guys all my other male friends are ex's who I've stayed friends with after we broke up. Works well because the sex thing is out of the way.