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Child Item

Getting the shift

emma9

I've been chatting to a boy over the last two weeks and he asked me to shift him before school some morning, and I agreed. I'm 17 and I've never shifted anyone before (because I haven't been to teen discos and I wouldn't do it before or after school because everyone would know and I'm quite shy).

He said we'd keep it between ourselves but I'm wondering whether I should tell my bestfriend, she would be annoyed if I didn't and he'll probably tell his friends anyway.

The thing is I'm really nervous and I don't know how to act. Won't it be really awkward before, during and after it? I'm afraid I'll mess it up as well. I know this is a stupid (and embarrassing) post but any advice or experience?

Please don't give smart answers, thanks.

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Jaxxy

Plazaman wrote: »

Well if a "shift" has to be scheduled like a doctor's appointment then no you shouldn't do it. When it happens, it'll happen naturally. Plus never trust schoolboys when they say they're only looking to French kiss. Obviously ye'll be going somewhere private to complete the act. Guarantee ya ye won't be two seconds into it until he'll have the trouser tent fully pitched and then will switch to octopus mode, hands everywhere. If you are going to risk it, wear two pairs of tights and a pair of trousers.

"Shifts" were always scheduled when I was a young teenager. Although by the time we were seventeen we were acting more or less like adults when it came to our love lives, in that all of the illicit hooking up was happening in the pub.

I know you kids don't refer to it as "dating" OP, but if you've been talking to this boy for two weeks now, why can't you "go out" somewhere? It's much nicer shifting in a cinema (for example) than behind the back of the school.

And yes, he most likely will tell his mates. I don't see the harm in telling your best friend either, in fact she'd probably have more relevant advice for you than us oldies here in AH.

TheBeardedLady

I remember meeting fellas for shifts and having nothing at all to say to them. I'd meet them, mutter a greeting, do some canoodling and walk down the street with them in almost complete silence feeling so awkward even though they'd just fondled my boobaloobs. Gawd love me, I was so shy. Fond memories.

bb1234567

Drink a beer before you do it, takes the nerves off you. Bring some chewing gum so nobody can tell by your breath

HannahJade

Its funny how "shift" means different things in different parts of the country.

my advice would be to just relax and only kiss him if you really want to. It shouldn't really be planned out as then there is too much thinking which will make it awkward.

Just agree to meet up with him and if it feels right then do it.

As for telling your friend - that is also completely up to you. Do not feel pressured into anything!

(oh how I wish I was only 17 again!!)

Good luck x

bb1234567

Jaxxy wrote: »

"Shifts" were always scheduled when I was a young teenager. Although by the time we were seventeen we were acting more or less like adults when it came to our love lives, in that all of the illicit hooking up was happening in the pub.

I know you kids don't refer to it as "dating" OP, but if you've been talking to this boy for two weeks now, why can't you "go out" somewhere? It's much nicer shifting in a cinema (for example) than behind the back of the school.

And yes, he most likely will tell his mates. I don't see the harm in telling your best friend either, in fact she'd probably have more relevant advice for you than us oldies here in AH.

I think by 17 most lads are beyond telling their friends they got the shift really. Like who cares..we were more mature than that by that age. It wasn't a big deal anymore like when we were 14

Larbre34

Listen OP, dont be agreeing to anything in advance. Its much more fun when its spontaneous, so give him the chase for a bit, plenty of smiles and a few touches, if he cares he'll keep right up with you. Try and relax, its only your and his business, dont mind what the friends think or say, its nice to have something for yourself.

And trust me on the sunscreen.

Gummy Panda

Shift your pillow to make sure you are doing it right

Egginacup

BetterThanThou wrote: »

I can give you this advice right now, don't shift a boy you've been talking to for 2 weeks "before school some morning", you'll regret it. Your first time should be with someone you're at least in a relationship with, and preferably during a time when you're not going to be rushing and you can make a nice evening/night out of it. It's really nothing special unless you have time for the foreplay and the aftermath, the kissing and cuddling are what make it. Getting the shift quickly before school some morning really isn't anything your finger can't do. But, if you do decide to go ahead with this, at least use a condom.

What the hell are you on about?

Larbre34

Egginacup wrote: »

What the hell are you on about?

Lost in translation for that person I think.

Shift: defn, anything between a brief kiss and a massive long snog with a bit hand roaming, condoms ought not be needed.

Jaxxy

bb1234567 wrote: »

I think by 17 most lads are beyond telling their friends they got the shift really. Like who cares..we were more mature than that by that age. It wasn't a big deal anymore like when we were 14

Most lads would mention to their mates (either in passing or in great detail) that they scored. Although by the time we were seventeen it was more about getting the ride. :pac:

You're right about kissing not being as big a deal as when we were fourteen. The innocence of this thread makes me feel very nostalgic.

KungPao

'The shift'.

God I hate that term.

john the one

BetterThanThou wrote: »

I can give you this advice right now, don't shift a boy you've been talking to for 2 weeks "before school some morning", you'll regret it. Your first time should be with someone you're at least in a relationship with, and preferably during a time when you're not going to be rushing and you can make a nice evening/night out of it. It's really nothing special unless you have time for the foreplay and the aftermath, the kissing and cuddling are what make it. Getting the shift quickly before school some morning really isn't anything your finger can't do. But, if you do decide to go ahead with this, at least use a condom.

What do you think a shift is?

emma9

I definitely wouldn't refer to it as 'dating'. I think it's just a quick thing before school because he is only interested in shifting. I'm not sure if I should do it just to get the first shift over with because 17 is late to have your first shift. But maybe that's a stupid reason?

TrustedApple

Think its very childish myself at 17 to be going looking for the shift before school at 17 if the guy liked you could go for a date or something just even hanging out watching a film or going to the cimmna with each other. Even at 17 thats when the bit of a effort starts when you like someone.

But don't rush into your 1st kiss is what i will say as your only 17 at the end of the day there is no need to panic over it as i was 18 as a lad when i had my 1st kiss who was with my girlfriend of the time and it was prob the best thing ever i did was to wait and do it with someone i like and cared about.

Like lads can be shocking in my side they used to make fun of me for not going around shifting girls and got called every name under the sun for it and i made up that i shifted girls just for them to stop at me. But as a girl you have a lot less to panic and worry about. There few months ago i was talking to girl i know friend and she was telling me at 20 she never kissed a guy so there is no reason to panic at all over things.

Just don't rush into it if your not conferable at all with anything about it. Take your time to you met someone right

Philo Beddoe

emma9 wrote: »

I definitely wouldn't refer to it as 'dating'. I think it's just a quick thing before school because he is only interested in shifting. I'm not sure if I should do it just to get the first shift over with because 17 is late to have your first shift. But maybe that's a stupid reason?

Maybe it is a stupid reason, but sure it's only a shift. If you want to do, do it, and if you like it, do it again. If not, don't!

bb1234567

emma9 wrote: »

I definitely wouldn't refer to it as 'dating'. I think it's just a quick thing before school because he is only interested in shifting. I'm not sure if I should do it just to get the first shift over with because 17 is late to have your first shift. But maybe that's a stupid reason?

its just a kiss lol just get it over with I say...youll be better at kissing when it matters when you're going out with a boy you like

thegreatgonzo

emma9 wrote: »

I definitely wouldn't refer to it as 'dating'. I think it's just a quick thing before school because he is only interested in shifting. I'm not sure if I should do it just to get the first shift over with because 17 is late to have your first shift. But maybe that's a stupid reason?

I wouldn't worry about your age. Most of the things the people in your class claim to have done are mostly lies anyway. Some of them probably haven't had their first kiss/relationship or whatever either they just don't admit it.
How do you know this fella?

DivingDuck

emma9 wrote: »

I definitely wouldn't refer to it as 'dating'. I think it's just a quick thing before school because he is only interested in shifting. I'm not sure if I should do it just to get the first shift over with because 17 is late to have your first shift. But maybe that's a stupid reason?

It's not a stupid reason if you want to do it for yourself so that you have had the experience.

It is a stupid reason if you want to do it because you feel other people will judge you for being what they consider a late starter.

If you're curious and interested and you like the guy and don't mind that he's only interested in shifting, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. If you just feel frustrated and embarrassed that you haven't done it when others have, maybe this isn't the right situation for you.

Some people feel that their first kiss is something they want to be able to look back on fondly for years afterwards. Other people really don't attach any significance to it and feel it's just an average stepping stone on the way to adulthood. Which of these seems to resonate more with you?

If you're the first type of person, you might want to wait until you find a guy you connect with emotionally so that you can look back on the experience as something romantic and tender. If you're the second type of person, this would be a great opportunity to get your foot on the ladder, so to speak.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with either perspective, so whichever one feels more right to you, go with that. Good luck, OP.

emma9

I know him from talking to him on snapchat and he goes to the boys school in town as well. We're both in 5th year.

Micky Dolenz

Shifting before school is very new age. Back in my day the shifting was done at the local hop. We'd dance and shift the night away, to at least 10 o clock. then off home with a raging want.

Good times.

Shift away OP, shift away.

PLL

few naggins, be grand.

strobe

emma9 wrote: »

I definitely wouldn't refer to it as 'dating'. I think it's just a quick thing before school because he is only interested in shifting. I'm not sure if I should do it just to get the first shift over with because 17 is late to have your first shift. But maybe that's a stupid reason?

It's no stupider than any other reason to be honest, and probably the reason the vast majority of people had their first proper kiss with the person they did. Knock yourself out.

thegreatgonzo

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Shifting before school is very new age. Back in my day the shifting was done at the local hop. .

Nah it was done in my day too before the school principal would come out and chase any lads that didn't go to our school away from the front wall.

Micky Dolenz

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

Nah it was done in my day too before the school principal would come out and chase any lads that didn't go to our school away from the front wall.

Ah I see, I went to a mixed secondary too, so shifting could be done at free time.

thegreatgonzo

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Ah I see, I went to a mixed secondary too, so shifting could be done at free time.

So did I. But you wanted to be seen out with a fella from the school up the road. Don't ask me why it was just the thing. And when I was in junior cert or 4th year the best thing of all would be to hook up with one of the fellas in the local agricultural college cos they had actually finished school:D

sammyjo90

Go for it Emma! Sure he might be like a fooking washing machine and you'll never want to go near him again!

I used to meet this guy at lunch sometimes, id waste so much money because I'd buy a bottle of water at lunch,meet him and leave the damn thing behind!

thegreatgonzo

sammyjo90 wrote: »

Go for it Emma! Sure he might be like a fooking washing machine and you'll never want to go near him again!

I used to meet this guy at lunch sometimes, id waste so much money because I'd buy a bottle of water at lunch,meet him and leave the damn thing behind!

What was the water for?

dmc17

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

What was the water for?

Drinking, possibly?

sammyjo90

Ehh yeah, it was lunch and I partake in the odd consumption of water!

Also for rehydration :P

FouxDaFaFa

Emma, just know that After Hours will be here for you with comically bad advice whether you go ahead with it or not.

There's something kind of clinical about meeting up "to shift". Why not just meet up and have a chat, see if you want to kiss him. If you do, do. If you don't, don't feel obliged to.