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Trivial things that annoy you Part 27

humanji

Continued from previous thread: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057255123

Last thread reached the 10k post mark in about 4 and a half months. Let's try and beat this folks!

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yeppydeppy

This , or even this ` (a button you've to press twice and then press the delete button) instead of ' - what the hell is wrong with using an apostrophe?

OldNotWIse

Cheese Wagstaff wrote: »

A girl in work wearing a pair of glasses, someone comes over to chat to her. Cue conversation:

Person: "Oh, I didn't know you wore glasses!"

Girl with glasses: "Oh, I don't normally! I got these in Penneys, I just wear them when I want to look smarter, or if I'm in college!"

Oh. My. God.

Somebody actually said that? Oh ffs. Did humanuty turn off the lights before it left the world? Not to mention those of us who do wear glasses should be rightly outrages at these idiots making fun of our visual disability. Imagine someone buying a pair of crutches or a hearing aid to "look cool". I usually wear lenses, and sometime people think I wear my glasses to look cool - "oh you don't normally wear glasses!" - yes, I have that strange intermitent myopia and astigmatism. They just come and go as they please :rolleyes:

Rosie Rant

OH : "I feel truly awful."

Me : "Poor you! Will I make you some tea and toast for breakfast? Tea and toast is of course a magical cure for all ails."

OH : "Why yes, that would be most agreeable! It does indeed cure all ails!"

Me : "Excellent. Would you like me to cut it into little squares? This does of course enhance the healing properties."

OH : "Yes please! Lovely jubbly. Warm buttered toast and hot tea will be just the ticket."

Me : " Fabaroo! I shall return with your tea and toast as soon as I can."

OH : "Why, thank you! You rock immensely."

(After some pottering around in the kitchen I return.)

Me : "Here are your Bran Flakes, my love."

OH : .........

Me : "What is wr- FCUCK!!!"

Note : Sorry, funny mood. We don't actually talk like that. Basically, I was TA'd by my stupid brain this morning! At least I remembered the tea..

Vel

When you pop into the shop to get a bar of chocolate or a packet of crisps and there is a queue. You know that by the time your turn comes you won't have much time to decide on what bar or crisps you want and may end up making a rash decision, so before entering the queue you head up to have a look at what they have on offer. You can instantly feel a ripple move through the queue as those in it start to think you are trying to skip it. There will be at least one of them who will be on the cusp of saying something while all the other seethe inside. RELAX will yis - I'm not that brazen!

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

efb wrote: »

Does that song grind your gears?

What song?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Alice deejay (I think) two times

OldNotWIse

I got a bus today. I am f.ucking livid. I actually nearly got off my seat and boxed someone and the only thing that stopped me was the thought that someone would take my seat if I did.

* there were at least ten f.ucking eskimos at each stop all taking their sweet time bundling on. Big sleeping bag coats with those God awful fur trims piling on. The looked like giant, walking vaginas

* the ticket validater wasn't working, which resulted in every single person who got on wasting ten seconds trying to use it, looking around confusedly at the bus driver, trying it again, looking at the driver and then shrugging and eventually deciding to move down the f.ucking aisle. Then the next person would repeat the performance.

*the usual bint got on who didn't realise you have to pay a fare, and there was a big production as she fished her purse out of her bag, opened it, started fishing for coins and dropping them into the box, looking up at the driver in between each coin for what...f.ucking validation or something?

I swear if I'd cuaght sight of a flight sock or a Nolans bag I'd have blown a gasket...

LynnGrace

Cheese Wagstaff wrote: »

A girl in work wearing a pair of glasses, someone comes over to chat to her. Cue conversation:

Person: "Oh, I didn't know you wore glasses!"

Girl with glasses: "Oh, I don't normally! I got these in Penneys, I just wear them when I want to look smarter, or if I'm in college!"

Oh. My. God.

:eek:
I think she needs more than glasses...

gramar

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I got a bus today. I am f.ucking livid. I actually nearly got off my seat and boxed someone and the only thing that stopped me was the thought that someone would take my seat if I did.

* there were at least ten f.ucking eskimos at each stop all taking their sweet time bundling on. Big sleeping bag coats with those God awful furm trims piling on. The looked like giant, walking vaginas

* the ticket validater wasn't working, which resulted in every single person who got on wasting ten seconds trying to use it, looking around confusedly at the bus driver, trying it again, looking at the driver and then shrugging and eventually deciding to move down the f.ucking aisle. Then the next person would repeat the performance.

*the usual bint got on who didn't realise you have to pay a fare, and there was a big production as she fished her purse out of her bag, opened it, started fishing for coins and dropping them into the box, looking up at the driver in between each coin for what...f.ucking validation or something?

I swear if I'd cuaght sight of a flight sock or a Nolans bag I'd have blown a gasket...

...and that is why ONW's use of the bus is fundamental for the future of this thread

OldNotWIse

Vel wrote: »

When you pop into the shop to get a bar of chocolate or a packet of crisps and there is a queue. You know that by the time your turn comes you won't have much time to decide on what bar or crisps you want and may end up making a rash decision, so before entering the queue you head up to have a look at what they have on offer. You can instantly feel a ripple move through the queue as those in it start to think you are trying to skip it. There will be at least one of them who will be on the cusp of saying something while all the other seethe inside. RELAX will yis - I'm not that brazen!

I hate when people do this! I almost want them to say something to me so I can rip their heads off. Among the responses I have prepared are:

"Would you relax"

"You seem to have mistaken me for someone who cares"

"Relax, I have more time than you"

Vel

I am very rigid about best before dates on food and will very rarely eat anything past its date. My OH on the other hand is very liberal and employs the sniff test and a quick glance to make sure all looks ok.

He knows how strongly I disagree with his approach and he takes great pleasure in slagging me off for being too fussy. Anyway, last night he makes us each a little apple crumble from M & S slathered with cream and custard. All seemed great initially as I dived into the custard but my first bite of apple crumble revealed that all was not right. It literally tasted like vomit. It turns out that he had knowingly served me food that was FOUR days out of date.

My victory in proving that in fact best before dates do matter was tempered by the fact that the only substitute for the apple crumble was a packet of rich tea biscuits :mad: And of course he made the best of a bad situation by crumbling his up and pouring custard over them and was only delighted with himself :rolleyes:

Menas

Vel wrote: »

It turns out that he had knowingly served me food that was FOUR days out of date.

Grounds for divorce right there.

Vel

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I hate when people do this! I almost want them to say something to me so I can rip their heads off. Among the responses I have prepared are:

"Would you relax"

"You seem to have mistaken me for someone who cares"

"Relax, I have more time than you"

Although I must admit that when I am in the queue, I do keep a close eye on those who do this because nothing surprises me anymore and I can imagine someone trying to skip the queue. Especially if they are female, over 70, of hairy chin, bent over and pulling one of those fabric shopping trolley yokes behind them!

jimgoose

Lately the local Centra shop is impossible. Anytime you go in there the poor chungwans on the tills are flat-out checking lottery tickets while the queue backs up out the door and back the road. I have root-caused this, and the issue is with the lottery ticket checking machine. Hitherto, one could check tickets merrily without bothering anyone at the till. But since the lottery was sold off to whoever it was, they promptly re-engineered the whole system such that the old checkers no longer work for some reason. Hence my conversation with the manager.

jimgoose: Do you know that the reason for the recent appalling delay and inefficiency in here is the fact that the lottery ticket checkers no longer work, forcing the poor till staff to waste their time endlessly?

Manager Chappie: Umm, yes, but sure what can I do? You know yourself!

JG: I know myself?? Oh hell yes I know myself, I've been an engineer for a looong time. Whatever Cowbows'R'Us outfit has acquired the lottery have changed the whole system without bothering their hole to ensure the supporting infrastructure is compatible.

MC: Er, yes, I expect so.

JG: No "expect" about it, they're giving everyone the two fingers, especially people like you who have businesses to run. Now, here's what I want you to do. Are you listening?

MC: <Gurk>

JG: Good lad. Now - bright-and-early in the morning, you are to pick up a telephone and contact the head-buck-kid of the travelling circus responsible for this, explain that you are running a business, and that if their ticket checking machines aren't upgraded within exactly one calendar week of now you'll be ripping out the whole shambles, sending them an invoice for the time taken to do that, and filing suit for loss of earnings and general pain-in-the-holeness. Understand?

MC: Gurr, yes??

JG: Excrement. Now go to it, and good luck. I'll be back!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I know this is going to make me sound creepy but when I see a girl wearing something really nice, I try take a photo so I can search online for the skirt/Cape/top whatever it is later on that day. But it's very annoying when you forget to make sure flash is off and are outed as taking photos of some young ones legs.

eisenberg1

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I know this is going to make me sound creepy but when I see a girl wearing something really nice, I try take a photo so I can search online for the skirt/Cape/top whatever it is later on that day. But it's very annoying when you forget to make sure flash is off and are outed as taking photos of some young ones legs.

I think that is against the law....

jimgoose

eisenberg1 wrote: »

I think that is against the law....

It is when you're a large 43-year-old man and you do it from behind a shrub 400 yards away with Zeiss optics, anyway. :pac::pac::pac:

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

eisenberg1 wrote: »

I think that is against the law....

No doubt! And I wouldn't mind only I actually only wanted to get her skirt. But I end up looking like a complete pervert

MsBubbles

Jimgoose I snorted with laughter at your last post

jimgoose

MsBubbles wrote: »

Jimgoose I snorted with laughter at your last post

Shhhhh!! You'll blow my cover! :cool:

MsBubbles

efb

Jaxen Curved Shaver wrote: »

What song?

two times!do do do do do...

the groutch

Anyone who uses the word "eats" as a noun.

fizzypish

the groutch wrote: »

Anyone who uses the word "eats" as a noun.

Too right. Where I come from we ates the dinner!

Maximus Alexander

the groutch wrote: »

Anyone who uses the word "eats" as a noun.

Nothing wrong with getting some eats groucho.

jimgoose

the groutch wrote: »

Anyone who uses the word "eats" as a noun.

Never encountered it except for some of the more "ZZ Top" diners along Route 66. :cool:

Aglomerado

the groutch wrote: »

Anyone who uses the word "eats" as a noun.

"Noms" is worse. :mad:

OldNotWIse

I just found out my OH and her ex are going to be spending the weekend together! More than TA.....

MsBubbles

OldNotWise OH's ex is an ex for a reason. Obviously no where near as fabulous as you. Your OH will think what the hell did i see in that yoke when I have ONW at home

OldNotWIse

MsBubbles wrote: »

OldNotWise OH's ex is an ex for a reason. Obviously no where near as fabulous as you. Your OH will think what the hell did i see in that yoke when I have ONW at home

Nope. This goes way back. Too long to bore us cranks with, probably more suited to PI but this is definitely the end of the road for me. Still....on the bright side - I have carte blanche this weekend