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Most stupid requests you've ever had at work?

bear1

Anyone have to suffer the most idiotic questions at work almost everyday?

Yesterday I was asked by our financial controller how to refresh a page....
Today I was asked why I didn't use certain payment terms in a document.
I politely said that if I am not given those details how am I to know and that the system inserts the default date.
This goes back and forth until I'm asked how did I not know what dates she wants?
ARE YOU FCUKING MENTAL!?!?!?!

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yeppydeppy

I've worked in IT for a good number of years so I've had many stupid requests. The most recent was where was the water cooler gone - the guy who asked me is one of those borderline genius types, who isn't very clued in when it comes to everyday stuff so I was polite and told him he'd have to ask the facilities dept.

BBDBB

I once worked at a place where I got an email marked urgent for the attention of the entire company, senior managers the lot, including those not even based at the office where I was based.

On opening it, it was a from a lady asking if anyone had change of a tenner

Later that morning, a second email from her came around to everyone (about 90 employees) saying not worry as she now had it sorted

jimgoose

DamoKen wrote: »

...Had to explain that by improve comms the gob****e meant improve communication between IT Contractors and management.....at least that's what I think they meant

Ladies and gentlemen I give you, the Moment you prove "It's Not The Fcukan Network!!":

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bzc-c76IIAEABnJ.jpg

gimmick

It was my turn to go to the shop one day. A girl asks me to get her 2 sausage rolls and specifies "I prefer small soft ones to the long hard ones, they are too flakey".

Poor naive little thing never quite understood our laughter, bless'er.

stefanovich

jordata wrote: »

Worked in IT support in the mid-90's. Got asked by the PA to the MD why her new CD would not play. Seriously hard to keep a straight face when I found it inserted upside down but I did laugh out loud when she asked would it not play on both sides.

In fairness they were pretty new back then. I have seen double sided dvds back in the day.

bear1

NotCominBack wrote: »

You do know that you can default the payment terms?

Depends which system you are using. SAP will take a default date if the details in the vendors account hasn't been maintained properly.
If they are then SAP will automatically take those dates.
But if you ask someone to guess the dates she specifically wanted then unfortunately SAP doesn't have a Mystic Meg section... nor do I.

Meathlass

BBDBB wrote: »

I once worked at a place where I got an email marked urgent for the attention of the entire company, senior managers the lot, including those not even based at the office where I was based.

On opening it, it was a from a lady asking if anyone had change of a tenner

Later that morning, a second email from her came around to everyone (about 90 employees) saying not worry as she now had it sorted

We have to get senior mgt permission to send round 'all staff' emails. I'd say I probably get about 10 a year in total - all related to work stuff.

RDM_83 again

baldshin wrote: »

Got asked yesterday "what flavour are those sweet potato crisps?"

There's no way to answer that without being completely condescending!

Isn't that actually a thing? Like with sea salt or sweet with cinnamon

Mick55

I worked in a large main dealer in Dublin years ago. A woman purchased a brand new vehicle from our dealership and returned a few months later complaining that the car we sold her was smaller than other cars of the same model.

She complained and complained and complained and said she parked it beside other models and was adamant we sold her a car that was marginally smaller than the rest of them. We even let park her car beside a display of 10 other cars.. Same make, model and year.. still convinced we ripped her off.

We tried to explain to her how the cars are forged from molds in the construction phase and the astronomical cost to the manufacturer of making a special, slightly smaller mold, just to troll her but she was having none of it. Its hard to debate with logic like that!

bruschi

baldshin wrote: »

Got asked yesterday "what flavour are those sweet potato crisps?"

There's no way to answer that without being completely condescending!

why is that? you would just say plain if there is no flavouring on them. Sweet potato is a type of potato, like any other potato chips that there is flavour on, why would someone assume there is no flavouring added to the sweet potato variety? sweet potato isnt a flavour.

Wobbly_Legs

Neyite wrote: »

I was told to compile data in an excel sheet, it HAD to automatically total the columns and also show the percentage value. But I was told that the sheet had to contain absolutely NO formulas. Not even basic ones. Because they couldn't understand them and thought they would ignite or something.

This is an everyday struggle for me. I just go ahead and use them anyway. :L

sjb25

Worked in a call centre for a mobile phone company had many many stupid request from asking to be put trough to the tax office the police all sorts like I was 11811 or something to one day being asked to change a guys upcoming bill as in remove numbers of his "friend" as his wife believed he was having an affair and wanted to check his phonebill lol

FoxyVixen

Had a customer come in one day picking up a bag of lamb flavoured dog food.

Pointing to the finger nail size picture of the lamb stating the flavour, and ignoring the HUGE dogs head taking up half the bag, she asked was this food for sheep :rolleyes:!!

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

major bill

Just a couple in recent weeks

C: My second monitor doesn't seem to be working
Me: Ok is there power on it
C: Yes but it's Blank
Me: Ok il remote on to your machine and see if it will show me both screens
Me: Yea that's the background picture

C:The CD Drive is upside down can you fix?
Me: yea the desktop should actually be sitting the other way

C: can you send me on my Linkedin Password (WTF Like)

Felt sorry for this girl (Not an employee but coming for interview with company)
C: I can't seem to open the Presentation on my USB Key
Poor girl was after copying the shortcut of her presentation to her USB key and not the actual file

Also If I hear the following again ''me and computers don't go or Sure I only know how to turn the computer on'' i will snap!!! :mad: if your job includes spending most of your time on a computer you should at least try and learn to use it.

somesoldiers

Neyite wrote: »

I was told to compile data in an excel sheet, it HAD to automatically total the columns and also show the percentage value. But I was told that the sheet had to contain absolutely NO formulas. Not even basic ones. Because they couldn't understand them and thought they would ignite or something.

surely a job for the resident vampire chef, no?

VBA?

bodice ripper

Can we get a discount if you use the same needles and ink on both of us?

Birneybau

baldshin wrote: »

Got asked yesterday "what flavour are those sweet potato crisps?"

There's no way to answer that without being completely condescending!

Salt and vinegar? Cheese and onion?

Irishcrx

I work in Facilities and have to deal with stupid questions on a daily basis, us and IT really do get the bulk of this crap I'm afraid. Last company I worked for the boss was a hell demon , total bitch , control freak but above all else a grade A ****e talker, thats what somehow got her the job. This one hasn't a clue what she was doing and there she is managing the largest contract our company had.

I call her one evening - to tell her that the basement is flooding, spend a good ten minutes on the phone explaining it to her....after a bit of silence she says....'Ok and who are you'....I'd been working for her 3 months..

At another meeting, she likes to use smart sounding terminology but she hasn't a breeze what any of it means. I asked her would she be making any changes to next years PPM's.....'What's a PPM?' she asked...thats ok for most....But not knowing what a PPM is working as head of facilities is like a footballer asking what a football is....twat...

I could go on and on about this one. I finally left as I couldn't take one more second of it without wanting to smash her face in with a brick. Was confirmed for me afterwards by someone who worked for her previous company that her whole CV was bull and she actually worked in a lower position than me before waffling her way into her new highly paid position and bullying everyone else for 'not being up to her standard'

heroics

jimgoose wrote: »

Ladies and gentlemen I give you, the Moment you prove "It's Not The Fcukan Network!!":

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bzc-c76IIAEABnJ.jpg

I think you meant when its not the F**kin servers but the Sh!tty network :P

Couldn't help it. It is the permanent battle in the job I'm in now between server team in Dublin and Network team in US.

I was on the phone to a customer in last job. customer was based in Kerry. Was unable to connect to a device in the external workshop.
Me: Is the line Driver plugged in and the red light on and the 2 cables connected in the back?
C:Yes light is on and checked the cables are connected.

I drove to back ar$e of nowhere in Kerry from wicklow. No red light on front of line driver. Plugged it in and drove home. Wanted to kill someone.

Neyite

somesoldiers wrote: »

VBA?

Not even that complicated.

Just a basic spreadsheet, couple of hundred rows with a total at the end. Like, I wasn't allowed even put in a basic sum function.

Homer

Gigging as a dj in a pretty large club on a saturday night....

Punter "Do you take requests?"

Me "Yeah..."

Punter "Can you turn it down!"

hard not to laugh really :P

Stheno

Had a call come into the service desk that an old biddys pc was talking to her in Chinese on random days and times. We rolled around the place laughing

Had to send a tech down to her, turned out it was true

boobar

I work in IT, these type of conversations happen a lot.

Customer: Will the system be able to do this?
Me: We'll design it to do whatever you want?
Customer: Great
Me: What would you like the system to do?
Customer: No idea, can you let us know when it's ready.

FFS...

BBDBB

I once witnessed a conversation where a new website was being developed for the business. The manager played about with the mouse for a bit and his feedback was that he'd like it to be "a bit more zippy zappy"

jimgoose

BBDBB wrote: »

I once witnessed a conversation where a new website was being developed for the business. The manager played about with the mouse for a bit and his feedback was that he'd like it to be "a bit more zippy zappy"

That'll be <flippity> Over-resistance condition in the main and redundant power feeds. Get him to pull the power lead from the back of the box and dribble into it for a few minutes. That usually sorts that kind of thing out.

MorganIRL

Slightly off but it was at work. Got one of my colleagues to go get diet water from the store and put on the shelf. Got rid of them for a while. ðŸ˜ðŸ˜

smash

boobar wrote: »

I work in IT, these type of conversations happen a lot.

Customer: Will the system be able to do this?
Me: We'll design it to do whatever you want?
Customer: Great
Me: What would you like the system to do?
Customer: No idea, can you let us know when it's ready.

or

Customer: You're the experts, I'm relying on you for advice.

Lu Tze

Neyite wrote: »

Not even that complicated. Just a basic spreadsheet, couple of hundred rows with a total at the end. Like, I wasn't allowed even put in a basic sum function.

could you not use the formula, and copy paste values after?

LenaClaire

smash wrote: »

or

Customer: You're the experts, I'm relying on you for advice.

Anytime I hear that I twitch...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg