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Opinions on wedding logistics

adocholiday

Just looking for some opinions here.

My OH and I are both from the west midlands area. She understandably wants to get married in her local church and I'm happy to go with that but the reception venue is about an hour and 15 minutes from the church. We both love the venue and are really set on it.

About half of our guests will be coming from the east/east midlands area, which would mean that the ceremony will be anything from 30 minutes to 2 hours west (depending on where they are coming from), followed by a 1 hour 15 minute journey back east to the reception.

I would prefer to have the ceremony and reception in the same general area so people only have to make one journey, but my OH is set on getting married at home. I'm worried that it's going to put people off coming to the wedding at all, and for those that will go it will dampen their experience of the day.

What's your opinions on this? Am I worrying needlessly about this or are my concerns valid?

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Meathlass

I don't have a problem with an hour commute from the church to the reception - sure it's not ideal but I don't mind it.

Your guests who are coming from the east will have a much shorter journey home the next day which is always nice. Nothing like a 4 hour journey home the day after a wedding to dampen the mood.

You say you both love the venue and your girlfriend wants to get married in her local church so I can't see any area that you can compromise on. I doubt the travelling will put any one off going to your wedding (though you may have some from the east who only turn up to the hotel and don't make it the extra distance to the church)

In my experience, people who go to weddings in rural locations are used to driving varying distances to get between the church and reception. I wouldn't let it worry you.

berrecka

If I were invited to your wedding, I would go, and Im sure I would enjoy it. Im sure I would enjoy it more, though, if I could just relax into the day from the outset, and not have the prospect of another hour or more in the car hanging over me during the cermeony.

As bride and groom, you will want to make all those little things you have dreamt of become a reality. For your guests, its another wedding in another church and another hotel. It would want to be a pretty spectacular wedding venue, the likes of which really could not be offered in closer proximity to the church, for me to ask my guests to do this.

I think when organising a wedding, the B&G should make the day as easy (and enjoyable) as possible for the guests to ensure happy guests, as - in my opinion - happy guests make a happy day for the B&G.

Meathlass

While I agree with berrecka that not having a long drive is lovely, there's no point picking a venue that won't please the bride and groom. Once you go down the road of appeasing every one's problems that way madness lies!

It's your day and you should do whatever you want. As long as people know what type of wedding it's going to be they can decide if they want to attend or not.

clint_silver

Id go. Just off the top of my head (havent thought of any downsides to this) , could you hire a bus to go from the venue to the church and then back again.
People then dont have to drive as much and can have a bit of craic on the bus if for example, some champagne and snacks were served after the church outside and maybe a top up on the bus.

seventeen sheep

While it's obviously not ideal, I don't think it's a massive distance to have to travel. By the way, I wouldn't bother with buses (unless you know for sure there'd be demand.) Many people simply prefer having their own car for these things, and being able to leave straight away rather than hanging around for ages at the church until everyone else is ready. If it means that much to your fiance, I'd go with the local church.

Meathlass

clint_silver wrote: »

Id go. Just off the top of my head (havent thought of any downsides to this) , could you hire a bus to go from the venue to the church and then back again.
People then dont have to drive as much and can have a bit of craic on the bus if for example, some champagne and snacks were served after the church outside and maybe a top up on the bus.

Don't think that'd work as what time would the bus leave the next day to go back to the church? Would people leave their cars overnight at the church - doubt it? Plus for some of the guests, the reception is actually on their way home.

nosietoes

It wouldn't stop me from going to the wedding but I wouldn't exactly like it, especially if I had to drive past the venue to get to the church.

It does seem to be fairly standard for a lot of weddings... though the longest I've ever had is about 40 minutes.

adocholiday

Thanks for your replies. I'd be very much of the same opinion that happy guests = happy wedding and that's exactly why I'm slightly concerned. I personally have traveled far and wide for weddings no problem but I can understand why it would grate on some people. We are so delighted with the venue. It is exactly what we both wanted, lovely gardens, perfect size ballroom, nice reception area, beautiful bedrooms, it's just perfect and we would be heartbroken to change it.

We don't mind if some people don't attend the ceremony and would completely understand not wanting to drive for hours on the day so that's not a problem. I'm just so worried about having disgruntled tired guests. Some positives are that the venue is 5 minutes off the motorway so it is easy to get to if nothing else, plus there is loads of cheap accommodation in the area for people if they wish to stay over but don't want to pay the prices of the hotel we are having the reception in.

All of your comments so far have made me much less fearful of the situation though

Meathlass

I would definitely go for your chosen venue. It's sounds like both of you love it so any other option now will be a poor second.

Pistachios & cream

It's not ideal logistically for guests and if you want to make it nicer for your guests then it would be good to offer guests refreshment either outside the church Or perhaps somewhere halfway to the venue tea/coffee, scones, sandwich it doesn't have to be much.

It sounds like some of your guests will have to leave home very early to make the ceremony, therefore no lunch. many of these people would probably have to stop and get food along the way this could mean them missing most if not all of the drinks reception.

You might want to chat to your photographer too about the logistics as you have a good hours travelling time which might mean choosing between some photos and attending your drinks reception.

professore

An hour and 15 minutes is OK IMHO.

One thing I would advise is not to leave your guests waiting for hours to get fed.

I was at a wedding where the venue and the church were nearly 3 hours apart - and the wedding meal didn't start for 2 hours after we got there, so everyone was absolutely starving ! Many had travelled 100+ miles that morning to get there in the first place (myself included), and hadn't eaten all day, and it was after 8 PM that evening when they got something to eat.

As it turned out the wedding reception seemed to be set up to cater for people over 70+ as it featured mostly Daniel O'Donnell type music until 1 or 2 80s numbers at the very end when the seniors - all 5 of them at a wedding with about 300 people, mostly under 40 - were tucked up in bed - so a bit of a disaster all round. There were maybe 4 couples on the dance floor all night.

I never had the heart to tell my friend.

However barring that, any wedding I've ever been at has been a great day out. At the end of the day, what people remember is how much fun they had. I honestly couldn't tell you what the venue was like at that wedding !

Meathlass

ahayes84 wrote: »

It's not ideal logistically for guests and if you want to make it nicer for your guests then it would be good to offer guests refreshment either outside the church Or perhaps somewhere halfway to the venue tea/coffee, scones, sandwich it doesn't have to be much.

It sounds like some of your guests will have to leave home very early to make the ceremony, therefore no lunch. many of these people would probably have to stop and get food along the way this could mean them missing most if not all of the drinks reception.

I don't think anyone would need to stop somewhere to get some food in an hour and 15 min journey

Lets presume it's a normal Irish wedding with the mass at 1pm and the meal at 6pm. Even those coming from furthest away won't have to leave until 10.30am at the earliest so they've plenty of time for a late breakfast. Drinks reception is probably from 3.30-6pm and I'm sure the OP will have some canapés etc there when the guests arrive.

I'd make sure I have a good and filling selection of canapés for the drinks reception. Obviously if you're wedding times are different you may need to rethink.

NewCorkLad

Its not ideal but dont stress about it, its your day. Just ensure the hotel has a good drinks reception and plenty canapes for when people start to arrive at the hotel and they will be more than happy.

goldenhoarde

Meathlass wrote: »

I don't think anyone would need to stop somewhere to get some food in an hour and 15 min journey

Lets presume it's a normal Irish wedding with the mass at 1pm and the meal at 6pm. Even those coming from furthest away won't have to leave until 10.30am at the earliest so they've plenty of time for a late breakfast. Drinks reception is probably from 3.30-6pm and I'm sure the OP will have some canapés etc there when the guests arrive.

I'd make sure I have a good and filling selection of canapés for the drinks reception. Obviously if you're wedding times are different you may need to rethink.

As meathlass and newcorklad have said if there is a good canapés/finger food laid on for the guests that would be a good idea, and let it be know you are doing this.

adocholiday

Fair point and I've thought of that scenario. What we intend to do is have the service at 1 so people should be arriving at the venue at around 3.30 - 4, with the dinner at 6.30 according to the venue. We are hoping to take most of the pictures in the gardens of the venue because they are stunning.

We are having a reception with prosecco, sandwiches, canapes, scones, tea/coffee & biscuits on arrival for the guests. Hopefully that would be enough to tide people over until the meal.

PhoenixParker

One option might be to keep the ceremony small, either just have yourselves & immediate family & bridal party or to invite everyone but spread the word that you won't be put out if people just go to the reception. You'll probably find a few do just go to the reception and skip the ceremony to avoid the extra drive.

berrecka

I would definitely consider the small ceremony option.
Or make sure that people understand that you are totally fine with them just coming to the party and not the ceremony.

Also, let it be known that there will be heaps of food to keep them going once they get there. Otherwise, people will stop for soup and sandwiches between the church and hotel. Sometimes if the craic is good there, it can be hard to get people to move on to the hotel.

Make sure your photographer is quick with the photos. If your guests watch ye walk back down the aisle at, say 2pm (assuming 1 hour for ceremony), then everyone breaks up to travel to the hotel to arrive at, say 3.30-4pm, and when they arrive ye are gone taking photos for too long, the focus of the day (i.e. the B&G) will be lost. Will your guests be able to watch ye getting yer photos taken? If theres a room over looking the gardens that ye are taking the photos in, it might be nice to do the canapés there, so your guests can still see ye while ye are doing the photos. In order to avoid the feeling of abandonment that could otherwise arise.

adocholiday

berrecka wrote: »

If your guests watch ye walk back down the aisle at, say 2pm (assuming 1 hour for ceremony), then everyone breaks up to travel to the hotel to arrive at, say 3.30-4pm, and when they arrive ye are gone taking photos for too long, the focus of the day (i.e. the B&G) will be lost. Will your guests be able to watch ye getting yer photos taken? If theres a room over looking the gardens that ye are taking the photos in, it might be nice to do the canapés there, so your guests can still see ye while ye are doing the photos. In order to avoid the feeling of abandonment that could otherwise arise.

That's a very good point and a lovely idea about the room looking over the gardens. It's something that I will definitely discuss with the venue. We are hoping to have some entertainment too for the reception. Something simple like a magician/mentalist just for an hour or 2 to keep people occupied and entertained. At least then there will be something to focus on for people and to talk about and keeps everyone from just 'waiting' as such.

A few years ago my aunt had a cartoonist doing caricatures to occupy people while waiting for them to have their photos taken and it was great. People were talking about it and laughing at each other's drawings and it made for a great bit of craic.

CorkClaire82

We have the same deal, ceremony in Waterford (where at least he's from), a lot of the guests from my side coming from Cork and then off to Co. Wexford for the reception which is an hour away. I'm used to driving an hour between mass and ceremony though so it doesn't bother me and we love the venue and really want to have the ceremony in his church so that's what we are doing. I'm trying to figure out if it'll make sense to stop for sandwiches somewhere between the two for a small while before heading to the reception but I'm not sure if logistically that'll work out. Thinking caps on

kandr10

Op it sounds like you both found the perfect venue. I think the reason people don't like such a long drive is when the places chosen (church and hotel) are of no significance to the couple. If it's your fiances local church people won't mind they'll be expecting to go there.
It sounds like you've plenty of food for the drinks reception but just make sure to tell people it's there. Maybe mention a brief outline of what times things are running if you're listing directions in the invitations?
Don't worry about getting photos. Your guests will be travelling to the venue, getting settled, maybe checking in if they're staying over. Who doesn't expect the b&g to be absent for most of the drinks reception in reality?
If there's plenty of accommodation too people will be happy they don't have far to go for that and it'll be a shorter drive on the way home.
Stop worrying about pleasing everyone. If they really don't like the sound of it they shouldn't go!

CaraMay

Op I have to go against the grain here and say that's an awful long drive to the venue. I would obviously go if it was good friends but it's really at the far end of excessive.

lovelystuff

Fair play OP for trying to make the day hassle free for guests. I think it's an acceptable drive between ceremony and venue, but if you want to be really sound you could arrange an ice cream van or tea van for outside the church for guests? Just to give everyone a sugar boost before the drive onwards. Can't see anyone being too put out if you're providing that as well as all your food on arrival!

An Bhanríon

Two weddings I was at had tea, coffee, scones and sandwiches in the pub across the road from the church. Then we all drove the hour or so to the venue. It worked really well and created a nice atmosphere after the ceremony because people didn't get split up straight away.

I would agree with those who say to put the time of dinner on the invitation. Also mention that there will be food at the hotel so people don't feel like they need to stop along the way.