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Requesting guest specific gift.

Lau2976

I was wondering how common it was to request a specific gift from a specific person.

I recieved a save the date which also informed me what gift they would like to recieve from me. Is that the norm now or is registry/gift still usual?

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Teyla Emmagan

Go if you still want to go OP but forget about the portrait and buy them a 50 quid mixer in LIDL. And if you ever hear anything about the painting again say you presumed they changed their mind when you saw the request for the mixer!

Some people have an absolutely brass neck.

hdowney

Lau2976 wrote: »

The other guests (that I've spoken to) were all very shocked as well. The man who was asked for a bike would be a closer friend then me and also thought his gift was already arranged with them, as he's baking the cake.

I hope, for the sake of their wedding, that they realize what's acceptable! As far as I know a few people are declining because they can't afford the gift and are too embarrassed to say otherwise.

The man she's marrying is american and the weddings here so maybe they did it for the benefit of the American guests.

They sound suspiciously like they are trying to get all their 'friends' to do all the bits to save them money on normal wedding costs, but are then being gimmie pigs expecting expensive, unnecessary and specific gifts ON TOP

kandr10

Why not do a really detailed Warhol style portrait of a kitchen aid op?
I thought asking for cash was bad. Not bad compared to this or enclosing an Iban!!!

miezekatze

Never heard of anything like this either! Very strange!

I also wonder if they just forgot about the portrait / cake when sending the gift requests as well?! I just can't imagine that they would expect another present on top of that. If it was me then I think I'd give them a call and ask if they don't want the portrait anymore, since they are asking for something else now.

NewYork1979

A ffs, I've heard it all. Not a hope in hell I'd go to that wedding and to be honest they wouldn't be people I'd want in my life. Life is too short to be humouring fools like them.

Frigga_92

Lau2976 wrote: »

I was wondering how common it was to request a specific gift from a specific person.

I recieved a save the date which also informed me what gift they would like to recieve from me. Is that the norm now or is registry/gift still usual?

The words "requesting" and "gift" do not belong in the same sentence. That is their problem. You don't request gifts, ever.

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Did it actually say "we would like you to buy us a Kenwood chef mixer and a Samsonite suitcase" or "please give cash"?

This made me laugh so much :pac:

xalot wrote: »

Frankly anybody being so rude as to request a specific present deserves to see how poorly their requests are being received. Selfish prats.

I would personally love a hand made portrait from a wedding guest, something that specific to the couple should be treasured.

Exactly.
I hope you jackasses are reading this and realise how awful you are!

A bike and an argos number and a stand mixer?? This is hilarious!

Ronin247

Attend the wedding, buy the cheapest, tackiest 2nd hand mixer off DoneDeal and tell them it is on backorder and you will drop it off after wedding. Do the portrait....... nude as you imagine them, him with the smallest winkle you can draw and her with saggy boobs down to her knees, insist you will do the "unveiling" of your masterpiece at the showing of the wedding video to the family....... Never speak to them again.

carltonleon

A bike for a kid !!!! Why ? Is he the one getting married ??
That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in relation to an Irish wedding.

thefeatheredcat

Does your friend actually bake? Because a stand mixer like that would only be necessary if you bake so much that you actually need it, in large volumes, quickly, hence why it is used on Great British Bake Off. It's a professional product, not something you'd just have around in the kitchen for the occasional baking or whipping cream or the random loaf of bread or cake once in a blue moon.

And anyway, it is an investment machine, something they should be spending the money on if they really want it; I remember coming across them and pricing them when looking for a replacement hand held mixer for my mam and noticed you'd kind of want to know what you want it to do and what you want it for before you splash the cash on it to get a return on it. Like you'd really want to be using it regularly to justify the cost... and even then it's still a matter of if it has the right bells and whistles for the user. It's a bit like asking someone for a Dyson, an expensive vacuum cleaner that you can get in various forms and purposes...

But for a wedding gift, no way should you go to that expense, sure you'd otherwise have a nice holiday for yourself to somewhere for the same amount these days.

I'm appalled about a bike for a kid, I mean if it's a toddler you can get some really great but quite expensive tricycles and if at least school age you'd want them measured and of course the person would feel obligated to get the necessary safety stuff.

Go with the portrait but worth taking a peek a some of the presents you can get in Smyths along your friend's desires and a little of what she deserves, my youngest nephew loves the Morphy Richards Kitchen Set although no stand mixer in that but sure she can make do with the toaster and coffee machine http://www.smythstoys.com/ie/en-ie/toys/fashion-dolls/c-498/kitchens-household/?pageSize=12&page=2

Eoin

Perhaps you could combine both ideas and give them a portrait of the stand mixer?

Tarzana2

Eoin wrote: »

Perhaps you could combine both ideas and give them a portrait of the stand mixer?

Too slow! :P

kandr10 wrote: »

Why not do a really detailed Warhol style portrait of a kitchen aid op?
I thought asking for cash was bad. Not bad compared to this or enclosing an Iban!!!

ballsymchugh

i have nothing to say, other than i love this forum.

Eoin

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Too slow! :P

Damnit! I must have still been shocked at the cheek of the request.

ABajaninCork

Cheeky mare! Some people have more front than Brighton...

Get her a toy mixer and leave it at that. Kitchen Aid, my arse!

messrs

Lau2976 wrote: »

The other guests (that I've spoken to) were all very shocked as well. The man who was asked for a bike would be a closer friend then me and also thought his gift was already arranged with them, as he's baking the cake.

I hope, for the sake of their wedding, that they realize what's acceptable! As far as I know a few people are declining because they can't afford the gift and are too embarrassed to say otherwise.

The man she's marrying is american and the weddings here so maybe they did it for the benefit of the American guests.

My brother married an American Girl and the wedding was over in New York - they did have a wedding gift registrar of all the stuff the wanted/needed but all at varying prices with gifts starting from $20 - there wasn't anything mad expensive on it at all

Esterhase

The cheek of some people is just unreal. Plenty of people would ask a couple's close friends / family members what gifts they'd like and the B&G lightly making a few suggestions is fair enough in that case, but directly making demands in a save the date card is absolutely ridiculous!

Whether I was attending the wedding or not, and with or without the stand mixer, I'd be reconsidering the portrait if I were you. Is it worth wasting the time and materials on such a rude and greedy couple when you could get paid for another piece of work or make a gift for someone else who would appreciate the effort? Asking you for TWO specific gifts makes them undeserving of any IMO.

BelleOfTheBall

Well I've a wedding shortly €100voucher .for me that's all I can afford as that's my weeks shopping out the window.do people realise that lucky to live off the wages we have?

Gatica

Indeed this is something I've never heard of before. I certainly wouldn't paint Americans with the same brush as this couple. Whatever inspired them to demand specific gifts, I doubt was American, Irish or sane...

I wonder if they left a family member in charge of sending out the save-the-date cards/invites, and they went a bit mad with own idea of gift requests? ....but then how would they know what to request..?

This is beyond rude. In the US they still do gift registries. We went to 2 American weddings recently, no mention of gift registry or gifts on the save-the-date cards or the invites, but their website had a section with a couple of links to gift registries. There were plenty of choices there to accommodate all budgets - completely unlike this couple asking for a specific, and what could be considered a rather expensive, gift. It was handy for us to order stuff for delivery in the US and not to worry about travelling with gifts.

I honestly don't get how someone could be so ignorant as to request friends to do cake, portrait or some other wedding-related favour for them, and then still, not just expect, but actually request MORE gifts from them. Unbelievable.... really...

Qualitymark

Lau2976 wrote: »

I was wondering how common it was to request a specific gift from a specific person.

I recieved a save the date which also informed me what gift they would like to recieve from me. Is that the norm now or is registry/gift still usual?

Bloody awful rude, I think. People are really up against it at the moment. It would be rude to make a specific demand at any time, but in the middle of a recession where the post-Christmas combined gas and electricity bills can come to over €500 and people are trying to scratch things together to afford any tiny 'luxury', this is unconscionable.
The bride and groom should gratefully accept whatever gifts they're given, smile nicely and be thankful that their friends are so kind.

Edit: incidentally, those who are costing quilts, etc are forgetting labour costs. If you cost your skilled labour in making the portrait or quilt at say €50 an hour, that would be realistic…

tinkerbell

God I love Weddings, they bring out the worst in people :pac: And I love the Weddings forum even more to read about all these crazy people and their crazy requests!

I think the idea of sending them a portrait of a stand mixer is the best idea I have ever heard! Do it. Please

The miserable shower of fecks deserve no more. And I'd do it on cheap printer paper with a box of Crayola. Don't waste your art materials on it.

Neyite wrote: »

Dinnergate was the best. I'm still slightly bitter that it became too identifiable and had to be deleted.

I thought bridesmaidgate was dinnergate? Or did I miss an epic thread?!

Milly33

im going to have to try and find it think tis gone though...

Neyite

tinkerbell wrote: »

I thought bridesmaidgate was dinnergate? Or did I miss an epic thread?!

No, the same one.

I call it dinnergate to differentiate it from the usual bridsmaidsgates that happen.

*wonders if the mod is open to bribes to reinstate that thread...*

Milly33

Ah tis gone I just tried searching!! Oh yes good idea go on OP wed pay to have the thread back..

It is rather odd alright what weddings do to people and now I know I will get a kick in the arse for saying this but it just goes to show that some women are absolutely away with the fairies, that would be saying fairies are bad which they aren't. But jesus some women are batty

Neyite

Milly33 wrote: »

Ah tis gone I just tried searching!! Oh yes good idea go on OP wed pay to have the thread back..

It is rather odd alright what weddings do to people and now I know I will get a kick in the arse for saying this but it just goes to show that some women are absolutely away with the fairies, that would be saying fairies are bad which they aren't. But jesus some women are batty

To be fair, there seems to be a pair of them that think its perfectly acceptable. Two people that grabby and selfish who met each other and fell in love. What are the odds? :pac:

ABajaninCork

Neyite wrote: »

To be fair, there seems to be a pair of them that think its perfectly acceptable. Two people that grabby and selfish who met each other and fell in love. What are the odds? :pac:

Birds of a feather and all that...

davywalsh7

this has to be a wind up!! i cant actually believe that there are two people out there who are so selfish rude and have a total lack of appreciation of the cost involved in attending a wedding let alone buying expensive gifts that you are requested to get!! couple should be over the moon with the gift of the portrait/cake etc but still expect not onky more but way more tgan the average gift. i mean a bike for their kid!!! wtf!!???

Milly33

nope you would be surprised at what people think is normal to do at weddings.. Shocking stuff

Lau2976

I decided to give the benefit if the doubt and thought maybe they had forgotten about the portrait but just received a text from the groom asking if I can confirm the date for the sitting as they need to arrange a sitter. And a nice little side note asking if I needed to swap what gift I was getting them as they have other people asking to get them different things

I think I might buy the mixer, paint it and then keep it for myself!

They have also asked the guy who's making the cake to add on 90 cupcakes. And then sent him the measurements for the bike!

Tarzana2

Can't believe the lack of gratitude from the couple over people making things for the wedding.

My sister was blown away when a good friend of the groom offered to do the flowers for the wedding with his mother who is big into flower arranging. This was his wedding gift to them. That's a huge gift to give and she was really shocked and touched that he offered. She also received other offers to do things for the wedding, and was equally touched by these. One of her friends is an artist who is always strapped for cash, so she gave them some of her beautiful artwork.

OP, please please don't give in to their demands. I'd actually not go if I were you, but different strokes!

LizT

They need to be told where to go! Hopefully no one will pander to them, I can't get over how anyone would think it's acceptable to put that on an invitation.