Venus In Furs wrote: » And hopefully who's a nice person too. You seem preoccupied with appearance to the point of not even thinking about personality. Now before you misinterpret me, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting to fancy your partner or to find excess weight unattractive (I don't need a guy to be ripped to oblivion to fancy him but I wouldn't be physically attracted to an obese guy either) - but in addition to them having an attractive personality.
I'm just considering the idea of a woman posting on After Hours "Leave him and find someone with a nice torso instead of a beer-gut" - there'd be hell to pay. But AH has no derogatory comments towards women, only "man-bashing" - and women are harder on each other than men ever could be. :pac:
There was far less food though, and far more physical exertion required. People still got depressed however.
Venus In Furs wrote: » I'd be of the belief that depression levels were no different back in the day - it wasn't recognised though so people had to stew in their misery or self medicate with alcohol (my grandfather)/get prescribed sleeping pills/valium (my father) or were sent to the mental hospital.
Wibbs wrote: » I would agree. I would also ask questions like why didn't it happen to nearly the same degree a couple of generations ago and certainly far less in the young? Today we have more knowledge, more supports in place, yet certain cultures, those with the most knowledge and the most support are piling on the pounds.
Wibbs wrote: » Oh certainly V but it would be my strong belief they did so at lower levels than today.
Tarzana2 wrote: » But, as someone here already said, you appear to have made your mind up. With scant info and not knowing the woman at all, you appear to know exactly what is going on in her life.
Dean0088 wrote: » Would just like to add though that exercise is recommended by doctors for depression before any pills (save for the most serious of deep depressions).
Tarzana2 wrote: » Take a 1950s population, transplant them to now in the hyper-palatable food environment and more sedentary lifestyles of today and you'd see weight piling on at the same rates, I'd guess. It would completely disingenuous to discount these factors when comparing obesity levels of the 1950s and today.
Dean0088 wrote: » It does annoy me when people use depression as an excuse when in reality they're just feeling a little blue due to not trying in life and feeling the consequences of same.
Tarzana2 wrote: » This isn't true. As someone with a lot of experience in this area, doctors do recommend exercise to aid depression, but they have never advised trying it over talk therapy and/or medication. I've seen various doctors over the years about depression and this is true of them all. They say exercise may help but they most certainly don't hold it up as the best way to cure depression.
Dean0088 wrote: » I should have phrased it differently. I'm not saying they write you a 5k jog, twice weekly perscription But exercise releases endorphin and your body is something only you can control. I've read a lot of stories on fitness forums about exercise being the key to someone turning their lives around. It also beats lying in bed all day which can be the hardest thing to overcome for some people with depression. But treating every fat person as though they're depressed is just going to keep fat people fat.
Dean0088 wrote: » It's no excuse. People had **** teeth back in 1950 too but look as us all today with our pearly whites. The same improvement should have happened to diet - it's all down to personal responsibility and there's an abundance of free help and cheap healthy food available.
Jingle_Balls wrote: » If you understood depression, you'd understand how bloody difficult it is to force yourself out of bed, let alone go for a jog.
Tarzana2 wrote: » Well, how's that working out? The population is getting fatter. The personal responsibility thing appears not to be working. Meanwhile, the problem worsens. People who complain about rising levels of obesity often seem to be the same people who have no interest in tackling the issue and dissecting it to figure out how to change things. They just continue bleating about personal responsibility, all the while being glad to have something to feel superior about, because it a visual weakness that it's easy to pass judgment on. All the while shutting down any analysis on the environmental, cultural and physiological reasons for a ever more rotund population.
Dean0088 wrote: » I had mentioned that in my post, but exercise recommended to break that cycle. The reason why the "personal responsibility" thing isn't working is due to the complete absence of it in many people as noted in your passing of the book to "environmental, cultural and physiological reasons", not to the actual failing of personal responsibility as a means of living your life. I don't feel 'superior' to obese people as you put it. It's not like I'm some Olympic athlete.
Jingle_Balls wrote: » Exercise is recommended to break the cycle, yeah. But again - getting out of bed in the first place is the difficult part when you're depressed. You seem to fail to recognise that.
Dean0088 wrote: » I had mentioned that in my post, but exercise recommended to break that cycle/QUOTE] exercise can be extremely difficult for people with depression, they often need someone or something help them get to that point in the first place. in some cases, like my own, exercise can bring on a depressive episode. I have supports in place, when I exercise or it'll just make everything much worse don't be one of those people who say "get out/exercise more" to someone who suffers with depression. it shows a severe lack of understanding/support
[Deleted User] wrote: » I disagree. If you have one without the other, you are not in a loving, lasting, fulfilling relationship.
Dean0088 wrote: » Christ on a bike - I said it in my initial post! It's not like once you become depressed you're bed ridden for life and nothing can help you. With support and help people can get past the deep dark phases and exercise is universally recommended to keep you from slipping back and to boost your mood. Keeping someone on meds forever isn't an option and meds are to be cautiously prescribed in the first place. Anyways, depression is a minority cause and is being used as a shield in this thread. It's by no means the root cause of obesity in Ireland, or even a major one. Beer, pizza and TV is.
Dean0088 wrote: » The reason why the "personal responsibility" thing isn't working is due to the complete absence of it in many people as noted in your passing of the book to "environmental, cultural and physiological reasons", not to the actual failing of personal responsibility as a means of living your life.
StormWarrior wrote: » This thread is going round in circles. Look OP you have three options: 1. Accept her the way she is now. 2. Dump her without telling her why. 3. Bite the bullet and say "Look, I love you but I don't fancy you any more because of the weight gain. Please lose weight. If you have a problem that's causing the weight gain then let's work on it together." No matter how long this thread drags on for, you're going to have to do one of the above eventually. You might as well get it over and done with.
Tarzana2 wrote: » But again, it's not happening. So what to do? Keep repeating it? Not looking at any other factors? OK, let's do that so. Let's ignore human biology (the preference for hyper-palatable foods, a once useful evolutionary quirk that we still retain though we no longer need it, and one that is exploited by a knowing food industry), environment and the fact that in every single population where junk food becomes more available, obesity rises. Let just ignore all that, it's not relevant at all, right? Let's solely focus on personal responsibility. After all, we've seen such great results thus far, why fix it if it's not broken.
Tarzana2 wrote: » Based on what? It was not really talked about. People were packed away when they suffered with their "nerves".
Dean0088 wrote: » But if someone asks me directly what I think of their excuse I'll tell them in a nice but blunt way.
Wibbs wrote: » Depression as a disease of modernity: explanations for increasing prevalence Depression and other mental illnesses are rising. Again in the face of more options and backup than ever before.
Tarzana2 wrote: » How do you envisage that ever coming up in conversation? :pac: "Hi Dean, evaluate the reason I'm about to give you for my being overweight." Interesting use of words though - "what I think of their excuse". Sounds like you do a LOT of pre-judging of overweight people. And think about it quite a lot. Which is a bit odd.
Dean0088 wrote: » :rolleyes: You're being ridiculous now. People talk about their health. And fat people, particularly after a failed New Years resolution attempt often spout excuses. I've been asked for advice before and many a time I've told people that they should stop drinking for six months, stop drinking coke on their lunch etc... There's no point telling them to "maybe cut down" or walk the dog when they're 70 lbs more than they should be. Like I said I don't insult people. Nor do I silently judge fat people day in, day out, with the sole exception of an entire six hour flight if a particularly large one is spilling into my seat.
Dean0088 wrote: » Nor do I silently judge fat people day in, day out, with the sole exception of an entire six hour flight if a particularly large one is spilling into my seat.
Dean0088 wrote: » This would all be within a variance of 14-20% body fat on a female though.
StormWarrior wrote: » The EU has now legislated that being obese is a disability. You can claim benefits if you're too fat to work, and if you get too fat to do your job they can't fire you! Anyway I haven't read the whole thread, how fat is the OP's girlfriend? Is she just a bit unattractively porky or is she getting so obese that the OP will soon have to become her carer and give her bed baths?
