Wibbs wrote: » Then if that's the case, deal with it and health up I say. God forbid he has a preference for a slim(more likely healthy and more aesthetically pleasing ) partner. I'd be very surprised to hear that when you have fantasies about ideal men that those ideal men are fat. How does that work then? "Real men" have curves? Eh... no. Just a bit of a diff, there W, male pattern baldness is genetic and there's feck all that can be done about it, if there was, baldy men would be doing what it took to change it, beyond wigs, dubious unctions and a shaved head. On the other hand fatness is much more a lifestyle choice. Stop eating crap and moving more and miracles of miracles you'll lose weight. Put it another way a fat man or woman can lose weight and do so with well described means, a bald bloke can't grow hair on a shiny pate no matter what he does. Oh and lest this is construed as aimed at the ladies? Nope. Those men who blame "metabolism" and the passing years on the fact they have a beer gut? Nope lads, you're simply eating more crap and doing less. Indeed IMH men who get porky over the years have even less excuses going on. You don't have the hormonal stuff, the potential pregnancies etc. If you're packing lard, it's because you got lazy. End of. EDIT if you're into the fuller figured woman(or man), game ball. That's not the issue. It's when there's a rapid change and you're supposed to accept that... Ging the other direction, I know a chap who had a preference for the fuller figured lady, who lost the gra for an ex when she lost shedloads of weight.
Venus In Furs wrote: » I wouldn't tell someone I don't really know though (in the same way that I wouldn't tell someone I don't really know that they're unhealthily thin-looking - it's far rarer, but I can think immediately of two such people; they're not healthily slim, they look emaciated) but I wouldn't say to them that obesity is fine either. I'd just say nothing.
looking_around wrote: » Its always shallow to stop being attracted to someone you "love" because they look different. Now if they start acting different, then they are a different person really..but over looks? yes that is shallow.
nails1 wrote: » My girlfriend has gained a lot of weight over the past year and I find myself less and less attracted to her. I no longer wish to have sex with her but still love her which I don't think she realises. Am I best to tell her about how I truly feel or does this sound selfish?
Sheep Lover wrote: » Throw flour on her and look for a wet patch, it's the easiest way OP
StormWarrior wrote: » The poor girl obviously isn't getting what she needs from you. You know what they say, girls with rubbish love lives turn to chocolate. Previously she took her frustrations out by smoking but now she's quit smoking she's turned to food. If you can't give her what she needs in the bedroom department then help her find another outlet that doesn't involve food. I bet if you two broke up she'd drop the weight and go out looking for a new bloke.
StormWarrior wrote: » Who knows? Maybe. But if a woman has a hot lovelife she generally won't let herself go. Also it would be interesting to see a pic of the OP.
StormWarrior wrote: » Also there's always the possibility that maybe she got fat on purpose to put him off. Maybe she just didn't want to sleep with him any more and couldn't find the words to tell him. He's never going to know until he asks her.
Dean0088 wrote: » You can't actually be serious with this are you? Back in 1950, people didn't get fat until they retired and even then they only got "old people fat" which is like 20% bodyfat. It's not uncommon to see males and females in their 20s finish college, get an office job and suddenly pack on 50 lbs over a couple of years. This cycle of fatness you speak of doesn't exist. Save for the small percentage of people (like the woman earlier in the thread) who take a look in the mirror and decide for themselves to make a change, most Irish people gain weight and keep it through beer, biscuits and benevolence of others.
efb wrote: » What's the breakdown?
Daenarys wrote: » I can understand OP. I don't think it's shallow. Happened to me, my ex bf packed it on about a year into the relationship, he got lazy and comfortable. If he didn't think I was worth making an effort for or he didn't think enough of himself to care what or how much he was eating, then why should I bother making an effort or caring? Join them or leave them. I like to take care of myself so I ended it with him rather than ending up a massive fatty with zero sex life. The problem was 40% weight and 60% attitude. Taken for granted that I'd accept him no matter how lazy he got or how much he overate.
Dean0088 wrote: » If someone get's fat it's best to approach the problem with the most obvious solution the same if your car won't start you check the battery first. If after three months there's no change only then is it worth your while exploring other options.
myshirt wrote: » Ammm... no... not true at all. Very universally known that the bulk of women pile on the weight following marriage.
Wibbs wrote: » On the other hand fatness is much more a lifestyle choice. Stop eating crap and moving more and miracles of miracles you'll lose weight.
Deleted User wrote: » And as usual the Simpsons predicted this There is an episode of the simpsons where claiming benefits off the back of obesity becomes a "thing".
Dean0088 wrote: » Can't believe the amount of people who think the OP should tred on egg shells regarding this. I'd understand if the weight gain was obviously a result of some other issue such as depression, loss of a family member, sickness or something... Or if we were dealing with a child or teenager here.But OP has made it clear - she spends too much time watching X Factor with a tub of Ben & Jerrys in her paws.
Dean0088 wrote: » There's a difference between calling it as it is and the vitriol I've heard during little bitching sessions.
efb wrote: » I know I put on considerable weight when going through a bout of depression
Tarzana2 wrote: » I really wish people would stop coming out with this patronising, trite crap. People who gain loads of weight aren't ignorant of the fact. They know that their food intake as increased greatly.Why it has happened is what needs to be examined, that's when positive changes will happen. Speaking from experience, mindset is everything when it comes to losing weight. Not just trotting out the jaded, emotional intelligence-bereft "Eat less, move more." That's some great empathy there, lads.
Tarzana2 wrote: » Maybe she is depressed?
Tarzana2 wrote: » Ah, "calling it as it is". The Jeremy Kyle refrain. Don't kid yourself, calling it is as it is no better. Up there with the inane "I'm just being honest!" as justification for having no filter between brain and mouth.
