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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Jaafa

I saw my fair share of these before I deactivated my account.

One of the worst came from an american 'friend'(?) of mine.

She said and I quote:
"Ughhh so stupid...I have to get a visa to go to south america! I mean seriously isn't this the UNITED sates! Ahhhhh....Worst state ever!"

She was promptly removed from my friends list.

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internet of cats

hope ur ok hun

mail xoxo

Comments

pc7

rawn wrote: »

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8372085760/h13992B0D/

Vague-booking at it's finest

Please ask is the hunso ok xx

NormalBob Ubiquitypants

Nib wrote: »

"Sum people really need to get a life.. Certain people dat brag bout dem selfs so much look for attention on fb instagram all dat crap..I know im writen dis post but dats to make sure dem "haters" see it.. really der jus sad people dat need make up,boob jobs, kids, fellas, "bffs"to make demselfs feel good about der sad lifes... least i no me n my sisters n my friends yea my small group of friends! but least i no who my friends r all.. all u lot stab each otr in d bk every few wks.. We dont need no make up plasterd on our faces or to make sure wer out flauntn ourselfs we live in d real world work hard n r respectable people we gav grown up n thank god dont associate wit people like yee... an any lil dirt bag dat disagrees well u can pop a comment or pm which ever u want.. oh n girls who im friends wit make sure u screen shot dis n pass d message on.. much love"

This "lady" works at "full time mary popens lol". Jesus Christ.

It sounds like a Lorde song.

[Deleted User]

Nib wrote: »

"Me heart was broke the other day , my neice Katie Boo said , uncle alan do ya no the 2 goldfish ya have left , i said yes Boo Boo , why , She said they are the 2 goldfish that me and Calum own , because the other 2 that are dead belonged 2 Brianna and Cammron , thats right i said , so i said the way things are going with the water rates , it broke my heart that i could not tell my little neice , about her goldfish and her brother calums goldfish , so iv decided 2 get a bigger Tank rigged up 2 the fuckin water mettor outside me gaff . and get more goldfish for me Neices and Nephews lol ,"

What?

Classic 'hope ur ok hun' names, one of which is not spelled correctly. Ok that does it. Stop the planet, I want to get off.

Aubrey loves Joe

Weetabix for baby, and bed hes nackered not had a sleep today so shuuusssh son bun go to bow bows

coolhull

Aubrey loves Joe wrote: »

Weetabix for baby, and bed hes nackered not had a sleep today so shuuusssh son bun go to bow bows

Does 'baby' follow her on Facebook?

Aubrey loves Joe

Child is about 2 i'd guess

keano_afc

One of my wife's friends just posted 30 pictures under the heading "Kate's Christening and Session".

Because you cant have one without the other, obviously.

ShazGV

"Jaysus dats fearse wet rain out"

Custardpi

ShazGV wrote: »

"Jaysus dats fearse wet rain out"

Ha ha, reminds me of this song

FullblownRose

I think this post by an American friend of mine (a kind of circus skills performer) definitely qualifies as a Great Facebook Status!: (I've omitted the names and locations)

It's about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving and I've been seeing folks struggling to get into the holiday "spirit"..folks grieving because they see their world as less than "perfect" this holiday season, i'm also seeing other people trying to cuddle these folks up and make em' feel better about their views on the holidays..i truly have the answer...there is an Orphanage in (location), they don't call em' that anymore because it makes us uncomfortable, but that's what it is...next weekend plan a trip up there...now don't plan this as a crusade or recruiting drive for your Religion, these kids have had it explained "spiritually" multiple ways why life isn't fair and why the most selfish children have the nicest ****...go to give of yourself..(friend's wife and son) and myself just did our shtick..I sideshowed and did magic, (his son) yo-yoed and (his wife) was the straightman to my idiocy..and I hear you guys moaning you cant' do those things...but go read em a story, "Where the Wild Things Are" is a good one..play with them, give of yourself..kids sense and appreciate sincerity..now when we went we spent a coupla weeks trying to gather up stuff to take em...but it's hard to buy stuff for 80 children and the requests seemed strange to us folks who have such excess in our everyday lives...and here is where we really received one of the greatest gifts of humility I've ever received.. (wife) and I have handed a 9 year old kid a bottle of shampoo and crème rinse and got a tight hug from a teary eyed thankful kid in return...when you see a kid cry out of thankfulness over a damn bottle of shampoo, well it just kinda helps you set things in the proper perspective..so do yourself a favor and take a short drive to (location) and be prepared to cry your eyes out all the way home......if you do go, you really will be giving yourself the greatest gift...the gift of knowing that Thanksgiving and the holidays ISN'T about football...or deerhunting...or shopping...or getting material gifts or honestly even about what most of us like to try to consider a cookie cutter "appears to be normal" family...it's about being "Thankful" and sharing of ourselves..hell, guys...it's about love...Happy Monday, Compadre's.....

Axel Lamp

New photo album posted entitled:

Mi new nefu

(My new nephew)

kunst nugget

Axel Lamp wrote: »

New photo album posted entitled:

Mi new nefu

(My new nephew)

I believe that is Swahili for 'my left testicle'.

keano_afc

Wow, its that kind of day. Friend of a friend:

Written underneath a picture of a budgie sitting on a bed beside a lot of skins and plastic bags. "Just found ou this little fuker has been eating all me weed! He's made his way through 2 bags in the last week!"

I'd post the picture but I'm in work.

Loughc

keano_afc wrote: »

Wow, its that kind of day. Friend of a friend:

Written underneath a picture of a budgie sitting on a bed beside a lot of skins and plastic bags. "Just found ou this little fuker has been eating all me weed! He's made his way through 2 bags in the last week!"

I'd post the picture but I'm in work.

At least we now know how Aido's budgie has been getting on... potential spin-off idea there!

Rubberlegs

A middle aged woman I know, frequently puts up photos of sessions at her house. The only thing is these are her sessions with her teenagers and their friends, usually captioned "my kids have the best friends ever".

J Mysterio

keano_afc wrote: »

Wow, its that kind of day. Friend of a friend:

Written underneath a picture of a budgie sitting on a bed beside a lot of skins and plastic bags. "Just found ou this little fuker has been eating all me weed! He's made his way through 2 bags in the last week!"

I'd post the picture but I'm in work.

Still waiting for photo...

Nib

"I dont care what anyone says a kindney infection is one of the most painfullest things you can ever have!"

I would have agreed until I read your status.

Generic Dreadhead

dee_mc wrote: »

Ah I don't know if I'd speculate on how happy someone's marriage is based on a silly Facebook post. At a guess, I'd say it has more to do with being unhappy with her weight and trying to be seen to be making a joke of it.

I meant unhappy that day, having read it back yeah, I worded it wrongly :P

73Cat wrote: »

A middle aged woman I know, frequently puts up photos of sessions at her house. The only thing is these are her sessions with her teenagers and their friends, usually captioned "my kids have the best friends ever".

Creeeeeeeeepy

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Brothers friend is a gross looking hippie guy, putting up photos of his dreadlocks. Ain't nobody want to see that, it's vile. Dreadlocks should be illegal.

Generic Dreadhead

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Brothers friend is a gross looking hippie guy, putting up photos of his dreadlocks. Ain't nobody want to see that, it's vile. Dreadlocks should be illegal.

I have dreadlocks and I have absolutely no doubt my hair is cleaner than 90% of the people I meet due to the miracle of baking soda and apple cider vinegar. That being said I actually take care of my hair. A lot of dreadlocked people are messy.

In fact even I judge them, which I guess is funny as when I'm with friends and we pass another guy with dreadlocks, they'll be like "oh look, your doppleganger" and I'm like, "oh god no, his dreads are in a state and you can tell he uses wax etc". Tbh some dreads are grotty, but many of us go to great efforts to keep our hear happy and healthy. I own more essential oils than i've had birthdays.

For years now I've been saying to myself I should just get a t-shirt that says "Yes I can wash my hair" :pac:

But thats a whole other topic for a whole other day.I'll take it that he is the grotty hippie type

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Cormac... wrote: »

I have dreadlocks and I have absolutely no doubt my hair is cleaner than 90% of the people I meet due to the miracle of baking soda and apple cider vinegar. That being said I actually take care of my hair. A lot of dreadlocked people are messy.

In fact even I judge them, which I guess is funny as when I'm with friends and we pass another guy with dreadlocks, they'll be like "oh look, your doppleganger" and I'm like, "oh god no, his dreads are in a state and you can tell he uses wax etc". Tbh some dreads are grotty, but many of us go to great efforts to keep our hear happy and healthy. I own more essential oils than i've had birthdays.

For years now I've been saying to myself I should just get a t-shirt that says "Yes I can wash my hair" :pac:

But thats a whole other topic for a whole other day.I'll take it that he is the grotty hippie type

Yeah he is, weed smoking bob Marley wannabe. He posts the most ridiculous **** and seems to take pride in being the great unwashed. My eyes feel vile even looking at him

Generic Dreadhead

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Yeah he is, weed smoking bob Marley wannabe. He posts the most ridiculous **** and seems to take pride in being the great unwashed. My eyes feel vile even looking at him

Sometimes I'll wear an expensive fancy suit just to f*** with people. They are like "Y U DRESS NICE BUT HAVE DREAD HAIR!?!"

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Cormac... wrote: »

Sometimes I'll wear an expensive fancy suit just to f*** with people. They are like "Y U DRESS NICE BUT HAVE DREAD HAIR!?!"

Horses for courses though. You judge people for being fat, people judge you for having dreadlocks. People judge girls who wear too much tan or whatever.
It's a judgemental old place we live in these days

Generic Dreadhead

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Horses for courses though. You judge people for being fat, people judge you for having dreadlocks. People judge girls who wear too much tan or whatever.
It's a judgemental old place we live in these days

Damn straight, every time I see one of these "Only God can Judge me" statuses, I just go full judge on them, I judge everyone, as they do me, I believe anyone thinking the opposite is deluded. That being said I think a negative connuctivity has sprung up between "Judging someone" and "Thinking someone is a bad person". Being able to judge people, places, situations etc well is what keeps us from sending money to an imprisioned African Prince :pac:

Ihatecuddles

This made me laugh

Dear really fat girls.. please do not try to dress as anything sexy or slutty for Halloween, try to stick to full costumes like a ghost, banshee or muslim ect. which are fairly cheap to construct at home so you'll have more money towards your big mac fund. Trust me no one wants to see an over weight girl squeeze into something tat highlights how many "x factor & chinese wit da girlos shure y nt" type of nights you've have had in the last few months.. or years, thank you. - the general public

kunst nugget

Cormac... wrote: »

Damn straight, every time I see one of these "Only God can Judge me" statuses, I just go full judge on them, I judge everyone, as they do me, I believe anyone thinking the opposite is deluded. That being said I think a negative connuctivity has sprung up between "Judging someone" and "Thinking someone is a bad person". Being able to judge people, places, situations etc well is what keeps us from sending money to an imprisioned African Prince :pac:

I wonder do imprisoned African princes wear 'only God can judge me' t-shirts?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

God still thinks they're a whore so it's ok.

TheChevron

rawn wrote: »

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8372085760/h13992B0D/

Vague-booking at it's finest

http://www.11points.com/images/grammartattoos/neverdontgiveup.jpg

TheGoldenAges

"Well done Ireland, use bokkies basterds are yusless *cryinglaughemoji* x8 *shamrock* x6"

shruikan2553

At least try to show some compassion when pretending to be morally superior. Sometimes I wish I was friends with people just so I could unfriend them.