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I dont want them 4 or 5 times a year

lulu1

About 4 years ago ago I met a woman in the out patients dept of a hosp. We got chatting and discovered we suffered with the same complaint. We kept in contact and of course me and my big mouth says you'll have to come and visit me. We live in different parts of the country. The very next month she arrived foe the weekend ( which i did not mind in the least ). The next year her and her daughter came and for 3 solid days they never left the house. In July this year her and the daughter came again and i had the house spotless. Well if my blood didnt boil when I caught the daughter examining the knives and forks before we had dinner I said to my daughter that I was going to say something but she wouldnt let me. Last month they landed again This time the daughter only left the house to get supplies to make her own dinner. A few times I commented how mary was going to make the dinner for everyone. OH I only bought enough for myself she says. So the two of them sits for another 3 days with the tv blaring as loud as it could go, and everyone shouting at each other to make themselves heard But I know I should have said something when the daughter said Mum you should come here a few days a week when I am at collage sure you will only be sitting at home on your own ()she is a single mother)Last night the dreaded phone all came asking could she come for a few days as she is in bad form and lonely now the daughter is back at scchool. I told her I would have to ok it with my husband, I couldnt think of anything else to say.We definately dont want to see her so soon again

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smcgiff

lulu1 wrote: »

The new me

NO. Sorry we are going to the south of France that week

Oh, okay... well... right.

So, leave the key under the welcome mat then. Will water the plants for you.

K.Flyer

Even throwing a few excuses as to why "..it's not convenient for her to stay at a particular time", people like her tend to try to find out from you When it's going to be convenient and can still put you on an uncomfortable spot.
As above ^^^^ either don't answer the phone or simply block the number.
Blocking the number is the better bet, as you will have no idea if she ever tries to call you again as it won't be recorded or go to voice mail, thereby its not playing on your conscience.

thegreatgonzo

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

When you think about it, Mole was quite the freeloader himself. He had a particularly nice gaff, but decided it wasn't enough fo him and decided to stay an extended amount of time in Ratty's place, without paying any board and enjoying the treats he had to offer. He got lost in the forest on purpose so he could latch on to Badger, who he knew to be affluent and generous. Mole took advantage of this generosity, like he did with Ratty.

Ratty invited Mole to stay though so he could learn to row so I wouldn't blame Mole there. It was kind of cheeky to go off through the woods to visit Badger alright especially since Badger was hibernating at the time. Overall though he was grateful to them all and was very loyal. Leave Mole alone!

Cupcake_Crisis

You don't need an excuse to not want anyone in your home. Tell her doss time is over and to ring you when she fancies a chat.

Areyouwell

Lapin wrote: »

Tell her you'd like a few days break yourself and ask her if it ok or you to go to her place for a few days

Was thinking the same thing myself. Time for the OP to plan some holidays down in her pad. My guess is, she won't be so keen to come visiting if that happens.

Son Of A Vidic

OP extends the hand of friendship and then gets taken for a ride. And since I suspect the OP isn't likely to return the favour and behave in a similar manner. Brutal honesty is probably the best approach to take here.

CrazyRabbit

Let her come. When she arrives, open the door butt naked and tell her you've become a nudist. Then insist that your house is a clothes-free zone.

Riddle101

Nearly 2015 years ago a woman named Mary and her husband Joseph went around a little village in Bethlehem, looking for a place to stay. The woman Mary was heavily pregnant at the time and they were in desperate need of accommodation. After being turned away from many places, they eventually knocked on the door of an Inn. The Innkeeper had no room, but he allowed them to sleep in the stable. Overjoyed Mary and Joseph settled into their new accommodation.

During this time the Innkeeper noticed many strange things happening at the stable. It seemed like Mary and Joseph decided to have a baby shower and invited some guests over. Over the next few days strangers would come from all over to see the newborn baby that Mary gave birth. Some of them even brought gifts. The Innkeeper started to get annoyed at this because they were causing a lot of disturbances, but didn't say anything because he didn't like confrontations, so he let it be.

Eventually, Mary, Joseph and their new baby left the stable, but not once did they bother to thank the Innkeeper for his kindness, nor did they clean up after them. Years later when the baby was fully grown he would frequently travel to various locations and shack up with anyone who would allow him to stay with him. Usually he would have a lot of friends accompanying him too, so it would be pretty noisy and messy wherever he went.

Eventually people got sick of this man, and decided enough was enough. So they rejected him. But the man would still persist with his ways, so he ended up getting arrested one day, after one of his friends gave him up. He never caused anymore trouble after that. But his story is still remembered to this day.

The moral of the story OP is, don't invite people to stay at your house. Some people will just take advantage.

Archeron

I have a terrible infestation of Godzilla monsters.

JupiterKid

Let her come to visit once more and answer the door in a gimp suit. That should clear this woman away pretty fast.:D

But seriously, a polite but firm "no" is what's needed.

BlaasForRafa

Tell her you have ebola.

Donald73

Your post title says you don't want them 4 or 5 times a year but from your OP her daughter is suggesting her mother visit you a few times a WEEK. Make sure to nip this in the bud as this woman will be virtually living with you from Sunday evening til Friday evening soon and only returning for weekends at home with her daughter, that might then increase to her daughter joining her at yours the occasional weekend and before you know it THEIR house is now their holiday home and they live with you all. Sure you've plenty of room and all that lol. Seriously though I would reduce this to twice a year only...if that. And they need to reciprocate too as it is VERY one-sided.

punisher5112

OP have you ever thought she isn't there for you and is on the look out for your man I mean a man....

I would hazard a guess she will even if you say your busy or that that she would still travel and arrive at your door.

I myself wouldn't mind having someone come over and stay the odd time but not like that all the time.

You and your family need your time and sure what you do is get one of your FRIENDS to come over when you know she will be calling and have them stay(not really just stage it and bedrooms are taken)

Does sound op like you are been taken for a bit of a fool and she is using you.

Does she bring anything or contribute to anything when she stays.

Next time she calls also another idea is you are decorating and strip all out of spare rooms.

Get students and say rooms are taken

don't have to have them just imaginary ones.

Offer the couch but get husband to stay up watching saw box set and start sleep walking.

Also last option would be burn da house down.

lau1247

OP,

Just say something along the line of, "my husband and I are not doing well financially and after a long discussion we are planning to rent out the spare rooms. So unfortunately it is not convenient for staying over unless you want to stay at a B&B."

She will have no option but to stay at a B&B. If she want to visit during the day, just meet her in town but never again at your home saying that you don't want to make your tenant feel overcrowded.

You're welcome :P

thelad95

lulu1 wrote: »

About 4 years ago ago I met a woman in the out patients dept of a hosp. We got chatting and discovered we suffered with the same complaint. We kept in contact and of course me and my big mouth says you'll have to come and visit me. We live in different parts of the country. The very next month she arrived foe the weekend ( which i did not mind in the least ). The next year her and her daughter came and for 3 solid days they never left the house. In July this year her and the daughter came again and i had the house spotless. Well if my blood didnt boil when I caught the daughter examining the knives and forks before we had dinner I said to my daughter that I was going to say something but she wouldnt let me. Last month they landed again This time the daughter only left the house to get supplies to make her own dinner. A few times I commented how mary was going to make the dinner for everyone. OH I only bought enough for myself she says. So the two of them sits for another 3 days with the tv blaring as loud as it could go, and everyone shouting at each other to make themselves heard But I know I should have said something when the daughter said Mum you should come here a few days a week when I am at collage sure you will only be sitting at home on your own ()she is a single mother)Last night the dreaded phone all came asking could she come for a few days as she is in bad form and lonely now the daughter is back at scchool. I told her I would have to ok it with my husband, I couldnt think of anything else to say.We definately dont want to see her so soon again

If this womens friendship was something you valued, then I would understand your situation but reading between the lines, it seems you don't really know this women at all and she is taking advantage of your kind nature. As a result, you have nothing to lose by just telling her to go away. Maybe try dropping a subtle hint first eg 'I need some time by my own/with my family' and if she still doesn't get the hint, tell her outright to go away.

lulu1

donna35 wrote: »

Your post title says you don't want them 4 or 5 times a year but from your OP her daughter is suggesting her mother visit you a few times a WEEK. Make sure to nip this in the bud as this woman will be virtually living with you from Sunday evening til Friday evening soon and only returning for weekends at home with her daughter, that might then increase to her daughter joining her at yours the occasional weekend and before you know it THEIR house is now their holiday home and they live with you all. Sure you've plenty of room and all that lol. Seriously though I would reduce this to twice a year only...if that. And they need to reciprocate too as it is VERY one-sided.

OH good god no she defo wouldnt visit a few times a week as she lives 4 hours away My mind is made up op once a year for a few days only and then only if she asks I will not be inviting. Even if they play the collage card the answer is going to be no OP when reading my first post again i do realise i said that the daughter said she should come a few times a week sorry my mistake let me tell you there would be a murder committed if i had to stick it a few times a week

Fate Amenable To Change

Repainting room/rooms. Every time she rings repainting or haven't moved furniture back in to room.

lulu1

Fate Amenable To Change wrote: »

Repainting room/rooms. Every time she rings repainting or haven't moved furniture back in to room.

I know exactly what the reply would be something along these lines

Oh dont worry about us we will sleep anywhere we will squeeze in with polly (daughter)

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

"Polly won't be sharing her room, there's a nice bnb close by, would you like the number?"

God let me at her!

Frito

I wouldn't invent reasons for why you don't want her staying over, I wouldn't even preface it with "I'm sorry but", I would simply say its no longer convenient for her to stay over.

lulu1

Frito wrote: »

I wouldn't invent reasons for why you don't want her staying over, I wouldn't even preface it with "I'm sorry but", I would simply say its no longer convenient for her to stay over.

i know you are 100% right it's just me that has'nt the guts to do it. I will go round in circles trying to find ways round the problem before i will hurt her feelings and say no. But needs must i'm afraid

Frito

Well I suppose then you approach it like you would when you want to take something off a small child...distract it with something else! So maybe suggest a b&b or offer to go up to her, or whatever.
It depends on your tone, just state very neutrally that it doesn't suit but she could do x instead. Don't make it sound like an apology or that you're sparing her feelings - that serves neither of you. It's just a matter of fact.

Cee-Jay-Cee

lulu1 wrote: »

i know you are 100% right it's just me that has'nt the guts to do it. I will go round in circles trying to find ways round the problem before i will hurt her feelings and say no. But needs must i'm afraid

If you really can't find the heart to hurt her feelings then tell her to come and stay on a certain date and simply don't be there that day or evening. If she rings/texts answer and say you totally forgot and your away for the weekend or better still get other friends/neighbours of yours that she doesn't know to answer your door and say you moved to another town/city and that they don't have a forwarding address.

guest2014

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

If you really can't find the heart to hurt her feelings then tell her to come and stay on a certain date and simply don't be there that day or evening. If she rings/texts answer and say you totally forgot and your away for the weekend or better still get other friends/neighbours of yours that she doesn't know to answer your door and say you moved to another town/city and that they don't have a forwarding address.

we have a winner.:)

Aubrey loves Joe

Tell her you have ebola

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

cloud493 wrote: »

Three simple words 'I am gay'

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

If you really can't find the heart to hurt her feelings then tell her to come and stay on a certain date and simply don't be there that day or evening. If she rings/texts answer and say you totally forgot and your away for the weekend or better still get other friends/neighbours of yours that she doesn't know to answer your door and say you moved to another town/city and that they don't have a forwarding address.

good lord!!!

A simple "fucck off" would be a lot easier, no?!

Iranoutofideas

Answer the door wearing a latex catsuit and a 12 inch strapon with your husband on a leash behind you on all fours.

handbagmad

Leave her come stay this once more but make sure the house is filthy dirty.

When I say dirty, let the dog sleep in the bed she is to sleep in for a few days previous. All dirty laundry especially the smelly socks to be kept in the room she is to sleep in.

That'll learn her!!!

foggy_lad

You are no longer welcome here. Do not ring call to the door or otherwise contact us again. (slams door in her face)

Micky Dolenz

The answer is blatantly obvious.

Fake your own deaths and move to Mexico.