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Child Item

I dont want them 4 or 5 times a year

lulu1

About 4 years ago ago I met a woman in the out patients dept of a hosp. We got chatting and discovered we suffered with the same complaint. We kept in contact and of course me and my big mouth says you'll have to come and visit me. We live in different parts of the country. The very next month she arrived foe the weekend ( which i did not mind in the least ). The next year her and her daughter came and for 3 solid days they never left the house. In July this year her and the daughter came again and i had the house spotless. Well if my blood didnt boil when I caught the daughter examining the knives and forks before we had dinner I said to my daughter that I was going to say something but she wouldnt let me. Last month they landed again This time the daughter only left the house to get supplies to make her own dinner. A few times I commented how mary was going to make the dinner for everyone. OH I only bought enough for myself she says. So the two of them sits for another 3 days with the tv blaring as loud as it could go, and everyone shouting at each other to make themselves heard But I know I should have said something when the daughter said Mum you should come here a few days a week when I am at collage sure you will only be sitting at home on your own ()she is a single mother)Last night the dreaded phone all came asking could she come for a few days as she is in bad form and lonely now the daughter is back at scchool. I told her I would have to ok it with my husband, I couldnt think of anything else to say.We definately dont want to see her so soon again

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suicide_circus

Email her a link to this thread - loud and clear.

cloud493

Three simple words 'I am gay'

Sam Kade

She's a freeloader that more than likely goes to other houses also.

We had relations one time that the husband was left off work and on the dole, he was a total miser. Himself and his family spent their days going from one relation to another in rotation usually around mealtimes. In winter they used to go to bed a 9 o clock every evening to spare the heating. He had his house paid for at 23 before he got married. Your friend reminds me of him.

Sam Kade

cloud493 wrote: »

Three simple words 'I am gay'

A bit late for that

Mint Aero

Had a similar situation here in England. Two mates here said oh we'll have to come visit you in Ireland. The first thing I said was grand but yer not staying with me, find yer own accom y'is c*nts.

Life is simple when you're Minty.

Tail Docker

Chunners wrote: »

Tell her you have a confirmed case of Ebola

Maybe write it on a cup and leave it somewhere she and lots of others will see it.? What's the worst thing that could happen?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Sam Kade wrote: »

She's a freeloader that more than likely goes to other houses also.

We had relations one time that the husband was left off work and on the dole, he was a total miser. Himself and his family spent their days going from one relation to another in rotation usually around mealtimes. In winter they used to go to bed a 9 o clock every evening to spare the heating. He had his house paid for at 23 before he got married. Your friend reminds me of him.

Reminds me of two people that latched onto my mother. My brother started secondary school and became friends with this lad. He'd come out to our house most Fridays after school and his parents wouldn't pick him up until Sunday evening. My mother would wash/iron his uniform, and he'd come do whatever we were doing during the weekend. Swimming, shopping, cinema, paintballing. We always did something fun at the weekend, but he never had money not even to buy himself a bottle of coke on the way home.

His mom and dad started calling over a lot. My brother and this kid stopped being friends. He stole from my dad and my dad wouldn't let him stay anymore. But the parents came every Sunday (about 10am) for the weekly fry, and then most evenings at dinner time.

Their daughter kept asking my mom for weeks before Christmas if Santa was going to leave her some presents at our house.

Anyway, then my mom died, they still tried to come over but me and dad wouldn't let them in. They soon got the message.

Sam Kade

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Reminds me of two people that latched onto my mother. My brother started secondary school and became friends with this lad. He'd come out to our house most Fridays after school and his parents wouldn't pick him up until Sunday evening. My mother would wash/iron his uniform, and he'd come do whatever we were doing during the weekend. Swimming, shopping, cinema, paintballing. We always did something fun at the weekend, but he never had money not even to buy himself a bottle of coke on the way home.

His mom and dad started calling over a lot. My brother and this kid stopped being friends. He stole from my dad and my dad wouldn't let him stay anymore. But the parents came every Sunday (about 10am) for the weekly fry, and then most evenings at dinner time.

Their daughter kept asking my mom for weeks before Christmas if Santa was going to leave her some presents at our house.

Anyway, then my mom died, they still tried to come over but me and dad wouldn't let them in. They soon got the message.

Your mother should have given them a good dose of epsom salts with their Sunday morning fry that would have cured them

ROCKMAN

Chunners wrote: »

Tell her you have a confirmed case of Ebola

be careful a joke like that could cost you thousands....

RonanP77

There are a few ways to approach this.

1. Just tell her it doesn't suit and that you've just got too much on at the moment. Give her this answer every time she asks to stay.

2. Be honest with her and tell her straight out that you feel like she's taking advantage of you. After that you can tell her she needs to get a B&B in future or if you don't want any more contact with her just tell her that.

You are the most important person in this situation, not her. Do what's good for you and get rid of her, she might be pissed off for a while but if she keeps coming to stay, you'll be pissed off for a long long time.

cloud493

If she's really a mate of yours, and not just a leech, she'll accept the fact she's being a big imposition, and be ok with you after a suitable period of being pissed off. If she isn't, then **** her your better off without people like that.

Hitchens

cloud493 wrote: »

If she's really a mate of yours, and not just a leech, she'll accept the fact she's being a big imposition, and be ok with you after a suitable period of being pissed off. If she isn't, then **** her your better off without people like that.

....or you could offer it up for the poor souls in Purgatory

anncoates

I avoid Personal Issues so I don't have to see these threads.

Just tell her she's not welcome anymore

masonchat

Just tell her sorry ye find it stressful having visitors staying in your house simple as, she cant ask again then , end of story

WoollyRedHat

When you think about it, Mole was quite the freeloader himself. He had a particularly nice gaff, but decided it wasn't enough fo him and decided to stay an extended amount of time in Ratty's place, without paying any board and enjoying the treats he had to offer. He got lost in the forest on purpose so he could latch on to Badger, who he knew to be affluent and generous. Mole took advantage of this generosity, like he did with Ratty.

shuffles88

lulu1 wrote: »

There is nothing wrong with the woman really it's ,just visiting to often for myy liking

Well then I would genuinely just say Listen, I enjoy your visits but it's just a bit too soon. I'd also consider addressing the fact that the onus is always on you to put her up. Friendship has to be a two way street and it doesn't sound as if you're getting much out of this friendship

Vag

lulu1 wrote: »

About 4 years ago ago I met a woman in the out patients dept of a hosp. We got chatting and discovered we suffered with the same complaint. We kept in contact and of course me and my big mouth says you'll have to come and visit me.

This is the weirdest situation ever. Ye met in the out-patients department of a hospital? The alarm bells should have been going off at this point. OPD's are full of weird old women looking to tell you their life stories.

What the hell do ye talk about when she comes to stay? Your medical histories?
Just keep telling her you're busy when she wants to visit. Moral of the story: Never talk to anyone ever. This is why people say don't talk to strangers

Deenie123

masonchat wrote: »

Just tell her sorry ye find it stressful having visitors staying in your house simple as, she cant ask again then , end of story

This.

Or, if you don't want to completely cut contact you could say "I'm really sorry, I enjoy spending time with you but I just find it really stressful having people to stay, especially so regularly. How about in the new year we both get rooms in a B&B somewhere halfway between us?"

lulu1

Chunners wrote: »

Sure when they come where are they staying/sleeping? I assume it is in one of your kids rooms? just tell her she can't come because it disrupts your kids schedule and if she doesn't like it then tough titty, it's not your responsibility to look after her while her daughter swans off to college. IF her daughter is so concerned then let her give up her days to entertain her mother

NO she is causing no disruption we have two spare bedrooms and she knows it

pauliebdub

You sound a bit like my mother, who is a very good natured and obliging person, but sometimes her good nature and hospitality get taken advantage of, with cousins etc dropping in unannounced, leaving kids with her for extended periods that's she's not really able to cope with. I've had to intervene and tell them to back off.

Could your partner or someone have a word on your behalf? I don't think these people are your friends and you would do well to be rid of them.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

lulu1 wrote: »

NO she is causing no disruption we have two spare bedrooms and she knows it

It's your house. They aren't entitled to any explanation.

[Deleted User]

Two words - "I'm busy".

You don't owe her anything. She doesn't need to stay with you, she doesn't need an explanation for why she can't. Just tell her you're busy. If she asks what you're doing (a clear sign she's taking advantage of you rather than just wants to stay with you because she likes you) then tell her it's personal reasons you'd rather not say.

You shouldn't have to have her stay, and you shouldn't have to explain why. You also shouldn't have to do something that makes you feel bad (being the villain and telling her plainly to F off), so just say you're busy and dodge all questions. Take control of the conversation and don't let her corner you into saying yes to anything. If it were me, I'd cut all contact completely after that.

lulu1

Vag wrote: »

This is the weirdest situation ever. Ye met in the out-patients department of a hospital? The alarm bells should have been going off at this point. OPD's are full of weird old women looking to tell you their life stories.

What the hell do ye talk about when she comes to stay? Your medical histories?
Just keep telling her you're busy when she wants to visit. Moral of the story: Never talk to anyone ever. This is why people say don't talk to strangers

Tbh the woman is fine she has just turned 48 and if i am being really honest I dont think she feels she is imposing. But I am defo going to cut it down to a few days in the summer, and yes we do talk about our aches and pains

evolving_doors

lulu1 wrote: »

Tbh the woman is fine she has just turned 48 and if i am being really honest I dont think she feels she is imposing. But I am defo going to cut it down to a few days in the summer, and yes we do talk about our aches and pains

Stockholm syndrome ..(with a dash of munchausen )

keysersoze0330

OP, she told me she can't afford the water charges on top of the property tax so the next time she stays, she's not leaving!!

lulu1

Hi folks this is the new me

Phone RING RING Hello Would it be ok if I came to you for a few days Mary is at collage and I am board stiff in the house

Me Aw god no sorry but I think we should leave it until next summer when the weather is a bit better sure there is nothing here at this time of year.

lulu1

keysersoze0330 wrote: »

OP, she told me she can't afford the water charges on top of the property tax so the next time she stays, she's not leaving!!

OP we were talking about water charges and she tells me that it going to cost 8 cents to flush the toilet

keysersoze0330

lulu1 wrote: »

OP we were talking about water charges and she tells me that it going to cost 8 cents to flush the toilet

Told ya!

Just Janice

Sorry but I not taking guests at the moment. It takes too much out of me and to be honest ________ (insert husbands name) doesn't like house guests anymore. His thyroid has been acting up lately.

Vag

lulu1 wrote: »

Hi folks this is the new me

Phone RING RING Hello Would it be ok if I came to you for a few days Mary is at collage and I am board stiff in the house

Me Aw god no sorry but I think we should leave it until next summer when the weather is a bit better sure there is nothing here at this time of year.

This won't work as you are giving openings.

OP THIS is the new you:

Phone RING RING.....RING RING....RING RING....RING RING. STOP.

Job done.