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The staggering price of weddings in this country.

xpletiv

I have been engaged for 6 months and have been looking around Ireland for a nice venue. The church we are getting married in only does Saturday ceremonies so we have to have it on a Saturday. What I cant believe is the absolute greed of venues; MOST cost about 100 euro a head, for basic enough package of canapes, 3 course and evening food and wine, but they also have insane minimum numbers of 100 people and sometimes more (140 ive found) meaning a wedding costs MINIMUM 10000 euros. Now, call me cynical, but are we in Ireland not still in recession!? Are people actually paying this crazy amounts?! And most importantly, with the lovely new budget that just came out, new house buyers have to have 20% of their mortgage (thanks older generation!) so I would now assume people are going to spend less on their wedding, yet we cant get past the minimum numbers part, and no where seems to be negotiable for price or numbers. Any tips? Also, to vendors out there that may read this, consider that the generation that is currently getting married is being destroyed by tax and costs as it is and now have to save 20% for houses. I really think the minimum numbers thing is a joke. Especially for the prices you are charging!

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lazygal

Bottom line is that it costs €200 to get married in Ireland and anything over and above that is entirely discretionary. Including a church, band, meal, cakes and whatever else. Having done both the civil ceremony and a big shebang a week later, if you don't want to spend the money don't.
Thursday weddings and going abroad might save the couple money but they're a pain for a lot of guests and going abroad is very expensive. I would only attend the wedding of a sibling or very, very close friend if they decided to marry abroad.
I think a lot of suppliers are well priced. The reason people think they cost too much is mainly because they're unrealistic. I had an idea in my head about how much this or that would cost, but you separate the wheat from the chaff pretty quickly. We got a very cheap videographer and it was grand, but does not compare in any way to a much more expensive one someone else I know hired. But it wasn't something we wanted to spend on.
I've been to some weddings where the couple drove a hard bargain and it showed with service, very basic food and not great wine. So I wouldn't skimp too much - a lot of those €50 or less deals aren't that great.
I would urge anyone thinking of getting a loan or relying on cash gifts to think long and hard about doing either to throw a party. When you wake up the next day it will not be worth it.
I'd cut out or save big time on the dress (I'd have bought mine secondhand if possible and I got my veil on ebay for €30), cake (we didn't have one at all), transport (a nice car does the job), invites (get them from a printer and not a 'wedding' place), bridal party (you don't need one at all, only witnesses) and get a really good DJ if you don't want to spend on a band(but it needs to be a really, really good one so spend some money on it).

TruncatisVinea

We got married at the Anglers Rest in Strawberry Beds and got a solemnizer. You get to decide almost exactly what's in the ceremony, the place is beautiful and barely needs anything done, they put lights and candles included. The food was amazing and they are very helpful. The best part: It was very cheap!

eviltwin

I was at a wedding recently that didn't have a dj, they had an ipod with a kickass playlist on shuffle, they rented a few lights and discoballs for effect and you'd never have known it wasn't a dj.

ABajaninCork

Apart from the E200 it costs to register and marry, here's what I think you should be spending the money on:

Rings - After the fuss has died down, the guests have left and the clearing up done. You'll be looking at them for a very long time, so spend a bit on them.
Photographers - You'll want a nice reminder of the day, so budget well for a decent photographer. NEVER get the photos done on the cheap.
Catering - Your guests have given up time and money to attend your special day, so the least you can do is make sure they're fed and watered well. Don't waste money on sparkling wine/prosecco for a toast. Most guests won't drink it. Get a round of drinks for the toast instead.

Start with that, and work backwards within the budget. Set a realistic budget and stick to it.

pwurple

fits wrote: »

How much do people spend on the cake?

Zero here. No cake.

snoopy29

We are having a wedding of 13 people in Dingle between Christmas and New Years. We also had the same problem with the minimum number of guests and then one night we said imagine if we could have it somewhere in Dingle with the live music and a bit of craic so we did!

We contacted a little boutique hotel we stayed in before and asked them would they be interested in a small wedding, they said yes. We are getting a 5 course meal for €55pp. I have my brother taking photos, we're not doing favours, big decorations or any of that stuff. We are paying for everyone to stay one night in the hotel and everyone else is paying their own for the second night. After the dinner we are getting taxi's into one of the pubs in Dingle for a few pints and a laugh. We might get a harp player for the humanist ceremony in the hotel but excluding dresses, rings and honeymoon its all coming in around 3k and that's including paying for 13 guests accommodation for 1 night.

It is difficult to find places as they are generally very expensive, have minimum numbers and I felt like we were on a conveyor belt being moved along and out of the place fairly quickly to allow for the next couple.

fits

pwurple wrote: »

Zero here. No cake.

Same here. Future Mil is doing it, and my bouquet. I'll give her something to cover costs but shouldn't amount to much. I wouldn't have a cake at all only she wants to do it.

littlevillage

If I were getting married in the morning .. It would be a small affair 30-40 people, parents, siblings and very very close friends. None of this Aunts and Uncles/cousins/neighbours/work colleagues, people that you haven't seen in years and/or hardly even talk to.

Rule of Thumb. If I haven't got your number on my phone and used in the last 6 months, You are not coming to my wedding :-)

No need for special invites .. these people will know I'm getting married... because I meet them regularly.

It would be Church/registry office followed by a meal in the local pub for the invitee's... after the meal (and it could even be a buffet effort or a bar-b-que) let whoever wants to hang around, hang around and those who don't, thank you and adios.. Take advantage of the pub's own entertainment for later on ... and any well wishers can come in at that point if they want too.

In fairness it would help if it was a decent pub with maybe a beer garden etc. that does good-ish food and that has live Music in the evening.

Get a proper photographer to take a handful of photos at the wedding ceremony venue and leave it at that. Other photos .. use your mobile phone.

If you do it right, the Pub landlord might even do you a deal on the food ... as he will be happy enough to have maybe 40 extra patrons in his premises all afternoon.

I'd say you should be able to get married for about €2000. (including rings, wedding dress, Groom can wear a regular good suit),

no Groomsmen or bridesmaids,
no Wedding car, drive your own car, or get a mate to drive you.
no Cake
Maybe one Bouquet of flowers.
Maybe stay in a nearby hotel for the wedding night (or if the pub has accomodation)

I obviously would not be expecting €100 cash gifts .. which is madness. Maybe no gifts at all, these are good friends and direct family after all.

Am I off the wall ??

fits

Snoopy, that sounds awesome! Watch out for the wren boys!

snoopy29

Thanks yeah I've heard the whole village goes mental on that day but sure it'll add to the craic!

fits

littlevillage wrote: »

I'd say you should be able to get married for about €2000. (including rings, wedding dress, Groom can wear a regular good suit),

lol!

Am I off the wall ??

Yes. But fair play to you if you manage what you describe with that budget.

lazygal

€2,000 including a proper photographer would be very optimistic. I priced a good few when we were getting married and some were €2,000 for photos alone, prints and albums were extra. We spent a mid-range amount on ours and they were brilliant, and we have the best photos on the wall and were able to get prints and albums for our parents.
I would be surprised if you can do food for a crowd within that budget along with drinks and photos, and ceremony etc.

Gatica

eviltwin wrote: »

Yeah, I got married in the registry office which was 50 euros back then, dress was just under 100, his suit was about 250, we didn't have flowers, cake, cars, photographer or rings, I got the bridesmaids dresses second hand for 100 all in, we had the reception at home so I hired caterers, not sure what they cost but it was less than 400. I didn't have much money at the time and we didn't want to borrow so I had to work within my budget as best I could.

Fair play to you, that's the way to do it!

fits wrote: »

How much do people spend on the cake?

Crazy amounts, no matter how you look at it... ours was also in the region of 300 I think. I know it was lots of work, so I don't begrudge our baker. However, now looking back, I wouldn't have bothered. The most expensive cake I'd get now is maybe 22 Euro for a home birthday dinner from Gourmet Tart co. or similar.

littlevillage

lazygal wrote: »

€2,000 including a proper photographer would be very optimistic. I priced a good few when we were getting married and some were €2,000 for photos alone, prints and albums were extra. We spent a mid-range amount on ours and they were brilliant, and we have the best photos on the wall and were able to get prints and albums for our parents.
I would be surprised if you can do food for a crowd within that budget along with drinks and photos, and ceremony etc.

Photgrapher is coming to the actual ceremony part and taking half a dozen photos and then he's gone. We will pick the ones we want printed. (Probably only 1 or 2, how many wedding photos do you want??). Doesn't necessarily have to be a proper 'Wedding Photographer'.. just a guy with a decent camera and some idea of how to use it... and bring the memory stick to a digital printing booth.

At the reception, I'm providing the food and maybe one drink for a toast and that's it. I'm going to be leaning on the Pub owner to do me a good deal also. For example no venue fee .. and maybe even a few bottles of plonk for the toast.

ABajaninCork

fits wrote: »

How much do people spend on the cake?

Zilch. My cakes were traditional Bajan black cake and a chocolate cake which were gifts from my father.

lazygal

littlevillage wrote: »

Photgrapher is coming to the actual ceremony part and taking half a dozen photos and then he's gone. We will pick the ones we want printed. (Probably only 1 or 2, how many wedding photos do you want??). Doesn't necessarily have to be a proper 'Wedding Photographer'.. just a guy with a decent camera and some idea of how to use it... and bring the memory stick to a digital printing booth.

At the reception, I'm providing the food and maybe one drink for a toast and that's it. I'm going to be leaning on the Pub owner to do me a good deal also. For example no venue fee .. and maybe even a few bottles of plonk for the toast.

Ok, but have you looked into either of these cost wise?

I would skimp on a lot of things, but not a photographer and food. After the day is over the only things you'll keep are the rings and the photos, and the only things people remember are the food and entertainment. We had a talented family member with a good camera take photos of our day, but even though they are fine they do not compare to a professional wedding photographer. Wedding photography is quite specialized. You need someone who's able to corral everyone in for a group shot, who knows where the good spots are to capture some couple photos and who takes some candid shots. We have our photos on the walls and in frames and we see them everyday. Well worth spending a bit of time and money on. I looked at the cheap options and they were cheap for a reason. Professional photography isn't about a guy with a memory stick. The quality of our professional prints is miles ahead of the ones we got from a photo booth.

pooch90

Most definitely don't skimp on the photos or rings (video if you're having one, we did and I'm so delighted. Even just to hear the ceremony back, hear the laughter in the house in the morning etc).
Our wedding day was the bank holiday in August just past. It lashed for 4 solid days. The photos our photographer got were amazing, off camera flashes and stuff made them look magical. If we just stuck with 'a guy with a decent camera' we never would have ventured outside and they would have been a washed out, dark mess. What our photographer (Mark McGuire Photography) got was breathtaking.We paid over 2K for him and a second shooter but we got an engagement shoot( with a big framed print to use as a signing board at the wedding),photo booth (with a professional backdrop and photographer taking the photos),the 2 photographers for the day and a fab album. We have over 800 photos, completely ours, we are tying to whittle them down to 70 for the album, it is next to impossible because there are so many brilliant ones.

paulusdu

I'm a wedding photographer and ive picked up a few savvy saving tips from my brides, i'd be happy to share with you.
1) local sale pages for pre-owned gowns or Barnados as someone mentioned above
2) Many people bake wedding cakes in their spare time, you may be lucky enough to get one cheaper if you ask around on local facebook sale pages
3)DIY as much as you can
4)Don't be afraid to haggle, the worst they can say is no, no big deal you just keep looking, wedding planning is meant to be fun

4)Track down a copy of "How to have a champagne wedding, on a bucks fizz budget" plenty of ideas and tips in there.
6) I'm probably biased here as i'm a photographer myself but NEVER scrimp on wedding photography, you will regret it. The day goes by so quickly you will want the fond memories captured to look back on in years to come. Also make sure you meet your photographer and that they are insured.

Best of luck with all the planning, try not to be disheartened by the cost, it can be done on a lower budget if you really get stuck in and shop around.

ps REMEMBER ITS MEANT TO BE FUN - ENJOY X

eviltwin

All my wedding pics were taken by friends and family using normal cameras, granted it was as polished posing wise as a professional would have been but the pics are grand. I don't think its essential to spend a lot on a photographer, you can still have a lovely reminder of your day without one.

Markcheese

If you've got 2 grand and want to spend it on white doves (cos that's your thing) then great- go for it... If you haven't got the dosh for a 25 grand wedding ,cut back ,prioritise , save or what ever ! Just don't be amazed that 25 grand worth of wedding costs ..... 25 grand ...
On the rings , I wanted a silver colour ,plain ... I was being sold platinum , white gold ect. One small local jeweler got me to try a silver one on, 30 euro later the ring was bought... And it means as much to me as if it cost 300 or 3000 euro...

marialouise

Any word from the OP?

byhookorbycrook

Probably gone off to the infamous wedding site to talk about printed loo paper.

marialouise

why did none of us think to send her to Bridesmaidgate? She'd get loads of money saving tips there!

Electric Sheep

Markcheese wrote: »

If you've got 2 grand and want to spend it on white doves (cos that's your thing) then great- go for it... If you haven't got the dosh for a 25 grand wedding ,cut back ,prioritise , save or what ever ! Just don't be amazed that 25 grand worth of wedding costs ..... 25 grand ...

This is what it comes down to - Irish people do not want to be seen to be spending less on a wedding than usual. They often want to spend less, but get the same amount, rather than go with a different format.

I think that may change though as an awful lot of people are fed up of the whole wedding carry on. I've heard anecdotally of a big upturn in refusal of wedding invitiations. Though that may be due to the upsurge in midweek weddings.

MadDog76

eviltwin wrote: »

Yeah, I got married in the registry office which was 50 euros back then, dress was just under 100, his suit was about 250, we didn't have flowers, cake, cars, photographer or rings, I got the bridesmaids dresses second hand for 100 all in, we had the reception at home so I hired caterers, not sure what they cost but it was less than 400. I didn't have much money at the time and we didn't want to borrow so I had to work within my budget as best I could.

Wow, I'm amazed that you could do it for so little .......... fair play to you!!

Not sure about having no rings though ......... how many bridesmaids/groomsmen did you have?
And what kind of honeymoon did you have to stay within that budget??

fits

Heres a sample and optimistic budget. you get to 15k very quickly

100 guests x 60 euro a head 6000
Ceremony 600
Ceremony music 600
Rings 2000
Dress 1000
Shoes 200
Suit 500
Band/dj 1800
Salon appointments 200
Hotel rooms 500
Transport (may not be necessary) 300
Photographer 1500
Videographer?
Bridesmaids/groomsman attire ?
Gifts for parents, bridal party?
Invitations?
Gratuities 200
Flowers?

MadDog76

I have to say I've been to quite a few weddings (both here at home and abroad) and there is no better party in the world than a full-on full-budget Irish Wedding ........ budget tight weddings are fine (and sometimes people have no choice in the matter) but it does show and it's never as good (for either the guests or the couple) as a proper full-on big family and friends wedding no matter what anybody says .......... you really do get what you pay for in my opinion/experience.

We spent a fortune on our wedding and I would do it all again if I could, worth every cent!!

eviltwin

MadDog76 wrote: »

Wow, I'm amazed that you could do it for so little .......... fair play to you!!

Not sure about having no rings though ......... how many bridesmaids/groomsmen did you have?
And what kind of honeymoon did you have to stay within that budget??

Neither of us wear rings so they were no loss, married 6 years now and don't miss them. I had two bridesmaids and he had two groomsmen, it was a very casual affair so the guys just wore their own suits the same shade as himself. The honeymoon was heavily discounted, I worked in the travel industry at the time so saved about 80% of the cost. If I'd have to pay full whack we would have just married on our own and put our entire budget onto the honeymoon.

I love parties and I have to say I love big weddings but its easy as a guest. As the bride I hate the idea of being the centre of attention, a huge number of people would have overwhelmed me so we kept it to very close family and friends only. My wedding was small, just 25 people including us, but it was the people in the world I am closest to and anyone on top of that would have been just making up numbers. I don't agree bigger is better and that anyone who goes smaller will feel its second best.

Gatica

It's really "horses for courses"... Some will love the huuuuuge country faire of 300 people, while others will just want a handful.
The important thing is to do what you want for your wedding and the best you can within your budget... We had 110 or so, it was a good number because I remember every single person that was there. At over 200 I doubt that would've been the case, I would've been ok with less though, maybe 70... In retrospect we would've loved to have invited another 6 people or so that we didn't and we regretted it. I also wish we didn't bother with one set of OH's neighbours, but that's just me, OH would probably have them and another few... Was at a wedding recently, it felt really small and intimate, thought there were 60-70 guests, turned out there were 120 there.
We paid for a mediocre videographer. It's kinda nice to have a video to look back at in years to come, but you can tell the quality from the price. Wish we'd just spent the extra 300 and hired someone decent.
If all you need is a couple of decent shots, who's to say you need to fork out a grand and have hundreds of photos if that's not what you want! However, people who'll complain about the cost of weddings haven't added things one by one to see how easy it is to spend the "Irish traditional wedding budget".

mikemac1

jimmii wrote: »

. As soon as we mentioned we only wanted 20 people places were just like sorry not interested even if I suggested we pay the 60 person minimum they still didn't want it for some reason!

They want your deposit and they want the bar sales too.