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Surely, you can't be serious...

Galway K9

I am serious and don't call me Shirley!

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bear1

BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not serious.

FatherLen

Monorail!

cloud493

Whats it called?

nelly17

Is there a chance the track could bend?
Not on your life, my Hindu friend

fergiesfolly

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

Gannicus

nelly17 wrote: »

Is there a chance the track could bend?
Not on your life, my Hindu friend

What about us brain dead slobs?

Summer wind

Shanna they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.

Eutow

Gannicus wrote: »

What about us brain dead slobs?

You'll be given cushy jobs

Gannicus

Eutow wrote: »

You'll be given cushy jobs

Were you sent here by the devil?

Galway K9

After hours summed up in a picture.

shanered

Shirly temple hindu track bender.

There!

I said it, and im not taking it back

Eutow

Gannicus wrote: »

Were you sent here by the devil?

No good sir I'm on the level.

Barely There

Joey, have you ever been in a.......a Turkish prison?

Sir Osis of Liver.

You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.

A hospital? What is it?

It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Senna

Edit, dam it, too late

Listen, flying an airplane is just like riding a bike, just a lot harder

pajor

Eutow wrote: »

No good sir I'm on the level.

The ring came off my pudding can!

toastedpickles

MONO!!

DOH!! >.<

Barely There

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

GLaDOS

And that's when I developed my drinking problem.

jonnyfingers

I take it black.

Like my men.

Yer Aul One

Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue

Duggy747

Randy: Can I get you something?

Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!

Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.

First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!

Jive Lady: Oh, stewardess! I speak jive.

Randy: Oh, good.

Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.

Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?

Jive Lady: [to the Second Jive Dude] Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da rebound on da med side.

Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!

Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da help!

First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!

Jive Lady: Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Shiiiiit.

Rega

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking... We're regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Mr. CooL ICE

I heard peanut butter is perfect for getting gum out of hair

Yer Aul One

Are we Airplane II'ing or Simpsons'ing

I thought Airplane II but all this talk of monorails?

Reoil

Lady: Nervous?
Striker: Yes.
Lady: First time?
Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

Reoil

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Galway K9

Yer Aul One wrote: »

Are we Airplane II'ing or Simpsons'ing

I thought Airplane II but all this talk of monorails?

Airplane I

Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Male announcer: [later] The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There's never stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
Male announcer: Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone **** again.
[Later]
Male announcer: There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

Interesting story i heard, the announcers are actually announcers from LAX airport, and married in real life.

Lalealynn

Galway K9 wrote: »

I am serious and don't call me Shirley!

Airplane !!! HILARIOUS FILM!

caustic 1

Yer Aul One wrote: »

Are we Airplane II'ing or Simpsons'ing

I thought Airplane II but all this talk of monorails?

I am just waiting for "nice beaver" from Naked Gun to start, in our house it usually follows when on the Airplane discussion.