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Child Item

Very weird, slightly disturbing situation.

TheBeardedLady

I don't want to go into the extent of the sounds my various neighbours make and just want to concentrate on two particular neighbours. 2 floors down lives an old lady who makes a kind of orgasmic groaning sound when she hangs out her washing and has to exert herself physically or does any chores outside her flat

The floor below her lives a Latin American woman with a very active sex life who'd put any porn star to shame. You get the idea.

Today, I was having my dinner (fish and veg) when I heard the groaning from below and presumed it was the little old lady when in fact, it was the Latin Orgasmatron on the 1st floor! Then I had the image of the old lady AT IT (if ye get me) and I feel like a bit of a pervy weirdo woman.

This is the second time I've confused in the last week the sounds and it's very fcuking disconcerting. It put me right off my fish supper, I tell you! Harumph!

Any weird stories to share to while away the horrible Sunday evening hours?

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Autonomous Cowherd

Once upon a time, i lived in a squat in Europe and below us lived an ancient old Gin-sipping lady who would accost us regularly on the stairs and beat us with her cane and call us (very colourfully) ''A band of Gypsys who caused her daily to feel the pain of Christ's crucifixion...''

On full moon nights when the Gin had kicked in she was often to be found completely naked on the balcony with her little wrinkled red gin-soaked face turned to the sky, and she howling and singing and cursing.

I also once lived above a delightful pair of Spaniards who had the most blazing blood-curdling rows followed quickly by lengthy bouts of howling sex. Ahhh the delights of city life.

Hope you enjoyed the fish and veg

The Backwards Man

That's the weirdest fish supper I've ever heard of, Sunday night or otherwise.

dee_mc

I used to live next to an old lady who told our landlady we were having constant house parties with loud music and various men coming and going day and night, and that she couldn't sleep at night with the 'racket' we made playing our 'modern music'.
The woman was so deaf we once watched Corrie on mute and were able to hear every word spoken in the show through the wall from her television :P

TheBeardedLady

The Backwards Man wrote: »

That's the weirdest fish supper I've ever heard of, Sunday night or otherwise.

What IS a fish supper anyway? Fish and chips? Just wanted to use "fish supper" and "harumph" in the same sentence like a grumbling Daily Mail reader would.

laugh

So many hot Latinas in Dublin these days!

TheBeardedLady

Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »

Once upon a time, i lived in a squat in Europe and below us lived an ancient old Gin-sipping lady who would accost us regularly on the stairs and beat us with her cane and call us (very colourfully) ''A band of Gypsys who caused her daily to feel the pain of Christ's crucifixion...''

On full moon nights when the Gin had kicked in she was often to be found completely naked on the balcony with her little wrinkled red gin-soaked face turned to the sky, and she howling and singing and cursing.

I also once lived above a delightful pair of Spaniards who had the most blazing blood-curdling rows followed quickly by lengthy bouts of howling sex. Ahhh the delights of city life.

Hope you enjoyed the fish and veg

Thanks for sharing, Autonomous! Gin is a divil!

Rubberchikken

God i must live a very dull life. Very ordinary neighbours and never any weird sounds;)

Height of my very wet miserable sunday evening is a boxset of hitchcock films and choccie biccies.

Tail Docker

The neighbours headlight tracked across the front our house as they were turning at the end of the driveway this evening. I'm having jeeves plant some shrubs tomorrow to address the issue. Very disturbing.

Antar Bolaeisk

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

What IS a fish supper anyway? Fish and chips? Just wanted to use "fish supper" and "harumph" in the same sentence like a grumbling Daily Mail reader would.

It's a euphemism.

Miss Lizzie Jones

The guy next door to me likes to sing pop songs from the 80s at the top of his lungs.

RDM_83 again

Its always much better to be the weirdo making the strange sounds (or the person having really noisy sex :pac: ) than to be the poor bored fcuker listening to it!

TheBeardedLady

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Its always much better to be the weirdo making the strange sounds (or the person having really noisy sex :pac: ) than to be the poor bored fcuker listening to it!

You're telling me! Actually as pervy as it sounds, the Latin woman I can handle but the little old lady making those noises doesn't sound right. She also has a cat that meows like a baby in pain.

That's only the tip of the iceberg of the cacophony of awful noises I'm aurally subjected to on a daily basis.

Bongalongherb

There I was all day working on my CV and cover letter in a friends abode while indulging in a few beers and a spliff. I got it all done and put my key in the front door and was delighted to just fall into bed and have a long sleep.

I wobbled into my house and lo and behold, I was just about to fall limply into bed, but my brother and his girlfriend were at it full on, in my bed. I just gasped and said what the hell are you two doing in my bed ? I need sleep. Well I was soo tired I just slept on the couch. Haven't seen either of them since.

Sauve

My next door neighbour never reciprocates when I wave at him.
We're both new in our respective houses, and anytime I pull into my driveway and he's outside I'll give him a wave and a smile. Y'know, like a normal person.
He just stands there looking at me as if to say "who in the dickens are you to wave at me in such a manner".

I'm gonna keep doing it until he waves back. Next time I might even stop for a friendly neighbourly chat about his new fence if he's not careful.

The sourpussed aul git.

TheBeardedLady

Bongalongherb wrote: »

There I was all day working on my CV and cover letter in a friends abode while indulging in a few beers and a spliff. I got it all done and put my key in the front door and was delighted to just fall into bed and have a long sleep.

I wobbled into my house and lo and behold, I was just about to fall limply into bed, but my brother and his girlfriend were at it full on, in my bed. I just gasped and said what the hell are you two doing in my bed ? I need sleep. Well I was soo tired I just slept on the couch. Haven't seen either of them since.

You haven't seen them since? How long ago was that?

RDM_83 again

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

You're telling me! Actually as pervy as it sounds, the Latin woman I can handle but the little old lady making those noises doesn't sound right. She also has a cat that meows like a baby in pain.

That's only the tip of the iceberg of the cacophony of awful noises I'm aurally subjected to on a daily basis.

Its even worse if you combine the two, the sound of cats having sex is truely disturbing

Titzon Toast

Sauve wrote: »

My next door neighbour never reciprocates when I wave at him.
We're both new in our respective houses, and anytime I pull into my driveway and he's outside I'll give him a wave and a smile. Y'know, like a normal person.
He just stands there looking at me as if to say "who in the dickens are you to wave at me in such a manner".

I'm gonna keep doing it until he waves back. Next time I might even stop for a friendly neighbourly chat about his new fence if he's not careful.

The sourpussed aul git.

You expect me to wave back at you after all the filth I've heard coming through my walls???

Sir Arthur Daley

Tail Docker wrote: »

The neighbours headlight tracked across the front our house as they were turning at the end of the driveway this evening. I'm having jeeves plant some shrubs tomorrow to address the issue. Very disturbing.

Just make sure he can drive a digger. :pac:

Bongalongherb

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

You haven't seen them since? How long ago was that?

5 weeks.

TheBeardedLady

Bongalongherb wrote: »

5 weeks.

Too scarla' to talk to him?

we'llallhavetea

yer man next door sounds like a seven foot man with an inch long willy and a gallon of piss in his pipes when he goes to the toilet. i dunno if it makes me thirsty or wanna piss.

Molester Stallone II

My next door neighbours are a 60yo alcoholic & her 21yo psycho daughter who have end up calling each other those names when fighting approx 5 nights a week......I've also had to call the guards on them 3 of the last 4 Xmas eve's as the birth of the baby jebus drives them to a whole new level of drunken fücktardness.

Toots

My old neighbours used to throw all night raves that ended in their guests out on the balcony screaming at 5am. They fought like the dickens too, used to hear stuff being thrown around the apartment. One night we called the cops at about 2am cos it sounded like they were actually going to kill each other. When they arrived, the guy told the cops that he'd just been up painting the sitting room and that's what the noise was.

--LOS--

not about neighbours but a weird thing......

recently a friend had a total freak-out because of the cushions in a place, he always seemed very chilled out/easy-going, then we were somewhere one day sitting down, he spotted the cushions and became so agitated, almost angry, he said it was something about the pattern and he went around and turned every one over. I really thought he was kidding so I was joking about it, probably making the situation worse. I asked loads of questions about it, if it was like a phobia thing or whatever, but didnt get any answers so I let it go, but now every time I see him I have the urge to just blurt out .....ok what the **** is the deal with the cushions

falan

Very apt....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IE8ER2bobIc

Sauve

Titzon Toast wrote: »

You expect me to wave back at you after all the filth I've heard coming through my walls???

That was just the TV, I swear! >.>.

Calibos

Coming home from the pub one night could see the neighbour riding her BF reverse cowgirl style...in silhouette. Lamp at the back of the room was casting her shadow onto the window blinds. Fine bouncing pair of boobies. Always tipped my invisible cowboy hat to her and said 'Howdy' from then on till we moved. She just assumed I was mad.

Gehad_JoyRider

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

yer man next door sounds like a seven foot man with an inch long willy and a gallon of piss in his pipes when he goes to the toilet. i dunno if it makes me thirsty or wanna piss.

in other words he pisses like a race horse?

Lalealynn

Ah Ireland the land of the twitching curtains...

jill_valentine

Had a bunch of students living next to us at one point a while back. Regularly mistook our door for theirs, attracted weird trails of ants to their door, which I've never seen before, and generated a lot of ominous noises with no obvious explanation. Nice lads though.

Anyway, in seven previous living here, I could never hear a peep through the walls from either side. The couple the other side had a new baby, and we'd never heard a sound.

But one of these chaps, with a very strong Monaghan accent, somehow happened to speak in exactly the right frequency to carry through the walls a and reverberate all through the house. It was the weirdest thing. And he talked almost nonstop, so whenever he got home from college, we'd have to hear the bass tones of his side of the conversation all night. Just his side, despite the fact there were three other fellas living there. We didn't even know his name, but we sure knew when somebody had eaten his noodles or lent him a smoke.

You can't exactly fault the poor lad for having a weird voice, so what can you do? We just adjusted to it.

In fact, we'd just started getting used to having someone else's internal narrator follow us around, when the worst happened - he got a girlfriend. A girlfriend with the opposite problem - though her speaking voice wasn't audible, she had the world's most unbearable laugh. It sounded not unlike a cat in a blender falling down stairs. And man, evidently, she thought he was fecking hilarious.

Oh, they were quite the pair. Like a rock hammer and an angle grinder in love.

rumblerumblerumble?
AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
rumblerumblerumble

One night, out of the blue, one of the other lads went bananas and tried to stab them all with a steak knife. The guards carted him off and they all moved out the next day.

I will always wonder if he just cracked under the psychological pressure of having to listen to those two unfortunate voices up close all evening.