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Good Shepherd Convent Dunboyne

Mazdoll

My son is twenty this week. It has been two decades since I spent my pregnancy in the Good Shepherd Mother and baby home in Dunboyne. My son is with me and we have not had an easy life but a good life "together". I always think of all the girls who were there in dunboyne spending their preganacy with me. All the babies given up for adoption, where are they now, the heart ache and loss of the Mam's and the waiting for contact over these years.

I think of the letters we had to write to our babies, newly born at the time and the cries in the "after hospital room" from us mothers for the loss of our children.

If any of you are reading this, I have not forgotten and for every milestone I reach with my son, I think of you and hope that one day you will be reunited.

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lyn1961

Laura Young wrote: »

Hi guys
I only googled Good shepard Dunboyne now and saw all your comments about the Good Shepards. I'm like, wow. I spent a brief encounter there in early 1983 (anyone out there from that time?? would have been Jan / Feb). My daugher is now 28 and it did seem surreal and how times have change so much, for the better I may add. I often think about the girls that I met and shared a room with during my time there and what happend to both them and their babies. I was known as 'Carol Ann' because we obviously weren't allowed to use our real names. I was one of the lucky ones because i was 'allowed' to go back home and keep my baby after 'running' away to the Good Shepards. I do remember meeting up with one of the other girls when I gave birth in Holles Street (where we 'unmarried mothers' were all kept in a large ward together) 'Assumpta' and I think she'd had a baby boy. I don't remember a mother and baby unit or room when I was there, albeit briefly.
Good luck to any 'babies' that are now seeking their birth mothers and it would be good to hear back from anyone that may have shared the same time as me there.
Laura aka 'Carol Ann'

pamela1961 wrote: »

You need to change that name too! Sunshine does not suit this cold, dark, dreary statement.

Hi , I was in dunboyne 82-83march,
Lyn 1961, I am trying to learn how to use this forum , please forgive me for mistakes

junemay

pamela1961 wrote: »

sorry if I upset anyone by writing the above. Maybe...., Im not sure if this is the right forum for me to write about my experience. From what I see now, there dosen't appear to be posts of a similar experience. If, it is not the right place, again I am truely sorry people. And if anybody can direct me onto the right forum, or lend some advice it would be truely appriciated.

Hi Pamela1961
It is certainly the right forum. I was in Dunboyne 1976/77. Sr Regina was the nun in charge, she was probably still there while you were in 1979. From what I gather, Sr. Cait arrived sometime in the early 1980's and the atmosphere was less threatening., although even then there was pressure to have your baby adopted. Sr. Regina told me I would ruin my babies life and my parents life if I took him home, she told my parents my life would be ruined. We were all being made to feel guilty and bad for not having him adopted.

eanor

Its distressing for me as an adoptive mother to see how you lovely girls were treated, it was also disgraceful. As ye were parting with your much loved babies there were us adoptive mothers who were awaiting for a few years for this baby. I for me want to assure you I do think of my sons mother also his father and remember them especially on my sons birthday who will be 25 later this year, his natural mother was in Dunboyne in 1989 and its very very sad to think she had to change her name while in there. Be assured your pain is understood and remember through it all ye have made many homes very happy and I hope life rewards you all with lots of blessings.

martina74

hi i am adopted and my birth mother was in dunboyne in 1974 we have met and have kept in contact on and off i would like more but i have been doing all the phoning etc so have stopped as i feel it is reminding her of what might have been back then in the home. i have read post but i would like to know from someone who was in the home at this time am i doing the right thing of letting it go as in my imagination awful horrible things happend and i dont want to upset this wonderful person who gave birth to me anymore heartache. It is upsetting me and breaking me in two as i want to have a relationship with her but on the other hand i dont want to upset here. Please help confused 40 year old.

Clairel2

Hi Helen k I was also there in 86 I was Claire h if you can remember?

DKIL1979

I'm just wondering what m&b home my mom and I were in. I was born in 1979 in holles st. I know my mum was in one that she refers to being in Suffolk. She kept me but never talks about that time or my father. I suppose I'm just looking for an insight to what she had to endure to keep me.

Amandy82

Hello

I was wondering if anyone could give some information. My partner was adopted and his birth mother stayed at the good shepherd Dunboyne from the end of May 1985 through to September 1985. His bm gave birth at Holles St on the 5th of September 1985.

She was 23 years old at the time and came from a county in Leinster. She was one of ten siblings and her sister at the time lived in England. Prior to pregnancy she worked on a stud farm.

My partner has received the non identifying information from Cunamh but has been told it is a 2.5 year wait for further information. We currently live in Australia so unable to go to and look for his original birth certificate. We do go back each year but have only started the process a few months ago.

If anyone stayed there at the same time and can share any information that would be great.

Thanks heaps

Amanda

Elizvonne

Amandy82 wrote: »

Hello

I was wondering if anyone could give some information. My partner was adopted and his birth mother stayed at the good shepherd Dunboyne from the end of May 1985 through to September 1985. His bm gave birth at Holles St on the 5th of September 1985.

She was 23 years old at the time and came from a county in Leinster. She was one of ten siblings and her sister at the time lived in England. Prior to pregnancy she worked on a stud farm.

My partner has received the non identifying information from Cunamh but has been told it is a 2.5 year wait for further information. We currently live in Australia so unable to go to and look for his original birth certificate. We do go back each year but have only started the process a few months ago.

If anyone stayed there at the same time and can share any information that would be great.

Thanks heaps

Amanda

Hi Amanda

Thats a long waiting list. Maybe you might do your own trace.
There are tracing guides on this page. Also I would recommend a Facebook group Adoption Rights Alliance - there are a few people on there who help out with searches
Best of luck with all.

Amandy82

Elizvonne wrote: »

Hi Amanda

Thats a long waiting list. Maybe you might do your own trace.
There are tracing guides on this page. Also I would recommend a Facebook group Adoption Rights Alliance - there are a few people on there who help out with searches
Best of luck with all.

Hello

Thank you for the reply. I have requested to join the Adoption Rights Alliance on Facebook. I figure we will have to do our own search. We are back for a short time in March. How long should we allow to go trough the birth certificates for a year? I have read in the tracing handbooks that after the non identifying information is to go and search for the birth certificate. It's just hard when you live in another country!

Thanks again

Amanda

The_Conductor

If the two of you are looking through the books- there is no reason you shouldn't find it in a day. Even when you do find a match though- make sure you keep going- there could be several potential matches for any given day.

Have a look through our Trace guides here

If you have any questions at all-ask back here, and we will do our best to help.

Hermy

Amanda,

I visit the GRO in Dublin from time to time for various genealogy projects including my own and another family member's search for our birth mothers. It may be another month before I go there again but I'd be delighted to offer to search on your behalf if you would like.

sheba99

martina74 wrote: »

hi i am adopted and my birth mother was in dunboyne in 1974 we have met and have kept in contact on and off i would like more but i have been doing all the phoning etc so have stopped as i feel it is reminding her of what might have been back then in the home. i have read post but i would like to know from someone who was in the home at this time am i doing the right thing of letting it go as in my imagination awful horrible things happend and i dont want to upset this wonderful person who gave birth to me anymore heartache. It is upsetting me and breaking me in two as i want to have a relationship with her but on the other hand i dont want to upset here. Please help confused 40 year old.

Hi Martina

I was in Dunboyne in 1974, from January until April when my daughter was born in Hollis St and taken from me. My experience in Dunboyne was not bad, we had chores to do each day but there was no violence or abuse. There was an attitude towards us mothers by our families and the nuns, it was all secretive, we were discouraged from becoming friendly with other girls in the home. Many mothers would have kept their babies if they had support from family and society but we were treated like lepers back then and in some experiences that attitude towards us continues today within our families. We were warned never to talk about our experiences once we returned home so perhaps your mother has had no support down through the years.

Perhaps your mother feels guilty for allowing people to pressurize her into giving you for adoption. Maybe she feels she should not get her hopes built up of having a relationship with you for fear of being rejected. I reconnected with my child several years ago but we have only met twice and like you I would love a closer relationship with her but it has not happened. I live in hope and just enjoy whatever contact we have rather than wishing my life away.

If I was you I would continue contact with your mother, in time she might feel less guilt and have more contact.

K

sheba99

RANIA wrote: »

how did holles st treat the mums?did anyone go with them for their labour?i hate my birthday as i always imagine my mum alone and scared.after the babies were born did ye stay in holles st long?my non iden info says i was in hospital for 2 weeks,i always wondered if my mum was with me for the 2 weeks?
basically after birth,who was there?nuns?anyone/did mums go back to the home or what happened in days /weeks after?

I was in Dunboyne in early '74. My daughter was born in Hollis Street. I did not return to the home after her birth, I was taken back to my family home the same day my daughter was taken from me. When I went into labor I was driven to Hollis Street by a nun in a mini bus they had. She dropped me at the door and I had to go through admissions on my own. There was no one with me during labor, it was my 1st baby and it was very frightening. The hospital staff were no different than the rest of society at the time with their attitude towards unmarried mothers and we were left alone during much of the early stages of labor. I was in the hospital for 7 days as far as I remember. Some mothers may have been brought back to Dunboyne after their babies were born but I have no memory of babies in Dunboyne while I was there. When I was discharged from the hospital I was taken back to my family home where I could not talk about, cry or even express pain from the delivery - it was to be forgotten about.

Amandy82

Hermy wrote: »

Amanda,

I visit the GRO in Dublin from time to time for various genealogy projects including my own and another family member's search for our birth mothers. It may be another month before I go there again but I'd be delighted to offer to search on your behalf if you would like.

Hi Hermy

Thank you so much for the kind offer. Such a lovely thing to offer. I spoke with my partner and he is quite looking forward to the two of us sitting down and going through the books when we are there in march. He was stoked that you offered though.

Good luck with your search too

Kind regards

Amanda

Hermy

That's great that you're gonna come over and do the search yourselves.
But if you've any questions don't hesitate to ask.:)

Von1955

Hi I was in Dunboyne in November1972 for about 4 months I had a daughter.

Von1955

Sorry 2 months

mamafi

Sorry Folks but I am helping a friend do his own search as the sw in Blanch told him it will be about 2 yrs before they can meet up with him...he was born in the rotunda and his dob is 15-6-1975...long shot but don't suppose this date means anything to anyone here.

RANIA

thank you for your reply.such uncompassionate treatment you and my mum and others gotx

malibueileen

Hi all, i was wondering is there anyone who was in the mother and baby home from june 1973 to end of august 1973 when i had my baby girl.I was very lucky that i was able to keep her. I think back to all the girls who had to give up their babies and wonder where they all are today. I went to a wedding a few years ago in dunboyne castle and when i realized what it was i actually cried ,it brought everything back to me.

maryjomay

lyn1961 wrote: »

Hi , I was in dunboyne 82-83march,
Lyn 1961, I am trying to learn how to use this forum , please forgive me for mistakes

I was in dunboyne from Jan to march 1983. Mary Jo is my name. I used my real name when i stayed. I just found this forum and so glad I did. I had a baby boy on March 30 1983 and gave him up for adoption.

I'm finding it hard to remember things about the convent. I don't remember names of the girls or the nuns. I remember the nuns being kind. I remember the phone box beside the stairs. I remember we all had jobs to do. I did my mock leaving cert there. I was 17. I remember the french/maths teacher. She too was pregnant. Vaguely remember the dog. Maybe I just blocked a lot out subconsciously.

I don't know where to start looking for my son who I named Lee. But social worker told me adoptive parents changed my son's name. Does anyone remember me? Can anyone point me in the right direction with regards to finding my son?

maryjomay

sunshine1799 wrote: »

Hi All,

I too stayed at the convent from Jan 83 until June 83 and had the pleasure of knowing St Cait. I have never known, until this day, a more kind hearted person than Cait. All my experiences there were good, even if the circumstances was not great, I was only 17. We were never chastised for our situation, we were treated with kindness and compassion, and never forced to do anything against our will. My situation was not as bad as some of the girls, I didn't have to hide my situation from my parents, I was there because my boyfriends parents wanted me there, and to give up my baby but I was lucky, I was allowed to keep my baby and he is now 29yrs old. Not everyone was as lucky as me but it was my decision and any girl who gave up her baby was very brave, it was and will be the hardest decision they will ever have to make. I know it was the 80s but those who post and say it was an awful place is lying, in my opinion. The nuns were lovely, they never treated us badly, I even sat my leaving cert there, they even hired tutors for me. If anyone reads this and thinks its easy to give up their baby is far from mistaken, those girls done the best they could in a bad and difficult situation. Sr Cait, Claire and Maura were saints esp Cait, I cannot imagine how my life would be now if someone had forced me to put my baby up for adoption, it was left to us. That is not to say we were not encouraged for adoption and yes it was discussed, but in the end in it was our parents decision whether we could take the baby home. I was lucky they said yes.

Hi. I wonder if I was there the same time as you. My name is mary jo. I'm from Bray. My son was born in march 1983. I sat my mock leaving there.

Would love to hear from you.

Ghekko

Maryjomay, get the date of adoption order from your file with adoption agency. That along with yours sons date of birth is a start to tracing him. You would then need to go to the GRO (The one in Roscommon has adoption records and there are 2 books in the GRO in Dublin with adoption entries also - apparently you need to get there early in the morning to get your hands on them. So if you are near enough Roscommon town it might be a better bet). You would then trawl through the records looking for boys born on your sons date of birth with the matching 'date of adoption order'. If things went smoothly the date of adoption order would be in or around a year after birth, as was the case in dh's - his was 13 months later. So you may come up with a few possibilities. Dh was born in 1973 and the sw mentioned in passing that children were often adopted into the county their birth mum was from. Dh thought for 40 years he had been born in Dublin, as did his adoptive parents. Turns out he was born in Mayo, and that is where he was reared! Hope you manage to start your search soon and hope you are successful with it. I know Dh would be very receptive if his mum came looking for him!

sheba99

Hi

I was in Dunboyne from January 1974 to April 1974. I had a daughter who was born in Hollis Street hospital in April. She was taken from me the day I was discharged for home. I reconnected with her 13 years ago.

There is a group for first/natural/birth mothers on facebook called Irish First Mothers. It is a private group, which means no one can see you are a member of the group except other members of the group. If you wish to join the group please email firstmotherstogether @ gmail. com with a brief intro to your story in order to confirm you are a natural mother. You can mention that you got the info about the group here on boards.

There is also a group called the Adoption Rights Alliance

And there is one for Dunboyne also just search for "Ard Mhuire Dunboyne good shepherd mother and baby home"

It seems I cannot post web addresses here as I got a message saying I am a new user even though I have been posting here from time to time for quite sometime.

I hope this information helps
Kathy

Hermy

sheba99 wrote: »

It seems I cannot post web addresses here as I got a message saying I am a new user even though I have been posting here from time to time for quite sometime.

Kathy, I think you need fifty posts before that restriction is lifted.

sheba99

Hermy wrote: »

Kathy, I think you need fifty posts before that restriction is lifted.

Thanks Hermy

sheba99

Did any women held in Good Shepard convents have to assemble games for MB Games or Hasbro? Just wondering because a friend of mine mentioned recently that an elderly Aunt of hers did work for MB games in Waterford which is where this woman was all of her adult life in the Good Shepard Convent, Waterford.

The_Conductor

Thats something I had never heard of before. If you have further information- if you could post it please.

sheba99

Well I am aware that some of us packed greeting cards with envelopes into cellophane wrappers. I am also unsure about the accuracy of the game assemblies which is why I am asking has anyone else ever heard of this or were any other women made to do this work.

maryjomay

Hi. I was in Dunboyne in 1983 and did neither cards nor Hasbro games. Hope that helps.