Tomato19 wrote: » Hi, After we nicely let her into our home, my poor fella even paid for her meal and drinks, my sister stole money from my fiancé, €150!! she denies it, insulted us BOTH and even accused me for its disappearance.. We have completely stopped all contact with her since, my family are disgusted with her. question is, do we still invite her to Our Wedding? She is a bridesmaid.. I'm really torn... Also, she has a history of thieving.. Thanks for any feedback
December2012 wrote: » When is the wedding?
3rdDegree wrote: » Does she need help? Any pathological issues? If not, then in my opinion, no. She's just a thief who will steal from her own family. She will do it again, maybe at the wedding. Unforgivable. But if she needs help, that would be different...
margo321 wrote: » I'm sorry to hear your sister behaved like this. I wouldnt invite her to the wedding as you'll be stressed she'll pull the same stunt and she probably will. Best of luck, it's a horrible position to be in but it's her doing not yours.
MouseTail wrote: » I would invite her, if you dont there is no going back. It is a snub that will hurt for the rest of her life, and she may never forgive you.
bee06 wrote: » Given the fact that she is known for stealing and chances are some guests will be giving her cards with money in them if she's bridesmaid can you even trust her at the wedding?
Redser87 wrote: » - Keep things as they are in terms of her invitation and status, but have a good think about preventing this happening on the day. Keep the key to your room on you or give it to somebody you trust; have cheques or bank drafts made out to suppliers who are to be paid on the day; and have a locked safe or arrange with the staff to keep presents somewhere very secure. The day itself, if it is more or less the traditional wedding, will be quite structured up until after the meal/ speeches. After that, you might need to get someone to keep an eye on her during the afters - people might leave their handbags etc. down.
wuffly wrote: » Awful situation, is she very young? If you don't invite her its something that you can never undo even if she turns things around down the line, so its a hard one to call. I would be worried about her stealing on the wedding day which in its self could be bad enough but leave you a bad position with regards to thanking guests etc... if you do have her there make sure she is well clear of gifts, could you ask someone else to keep an eye on her if you do invite her so its not stressing you out on the day? If it were me I would tell her she needs to admit it and pay you back or she's not invited and that you'll never forgive her if she misses your wedding for 150e.... Then the decision isn't yours it hers and let her stew in it! Hope you can get back to enjoying planning the wedding..
kstand wrote: » This is the sort of thing people go on that Jeremy Kyle show about. Right now, what evidence have you got that she stole that money? And how did she know it was there? You cant just go accusing someone without evidence in spite of their previous record.
December2012 wrote: » How do you know she took it?
Milly33 wrote: » I was just going to ask how old she is.. Being in her 30's Id say she is old enough to know right from wrong.... In my head I was saying to maybe just invite her, I wouldn't have her as bridesmaid because you would not need the extra stress on the day ye should be enjoying yerselfs not watching everything she does.. But from above it sounds like you don't have any trust left in her and going from there id say to not invite her. If you feel a little bad invite her to the afters and leave it at that.. But don't go putting her in front of ye on yer day.. Your hubbie to be wont be too happy although I am sure he would support you and you will be always watching her.. Nothing like this happened in regards to stealing but I remember a family wedding close family. One of us was not invited, two of us were only invited to the afters and then were questioned later as to why we didn't go to the whole thing and we just let it all be it was fine, we didn't want to ruin their day as did no one else so no one asked questions and we all just got on with it.. So maybe your sister will be the same, she is old enough to understand she done wrong and that is the reason to why she isn't going.. So maybe meet up with her after for a small celebration even lunch or something if she wants to and see how she deals with it. Best of luck deciding it is a tough one, I hope ye do not stress too much over it
Red Nissan wrote: » I'd be in the camp of not inviting her and accepting as collateral damage that she will never forgive me. She might change in time and realise a few things, but not in the few months remaining for sure. [edit] I see she is 30 years of age! No changing that sort of personality now, whatever chips one has acquired by near middle age, are the chips carried for life.
Toots wrote: » That's exactly what I was thinking. There's potentially thousands in cash floating around on wedding days. Imagine finding your cards opened and the cash gone? or worse, she steals the cash and puts the cards in the bin and you're left wondering did xyz give you a gift and should you send them a thank you card, and then they're thinking you're rude for not sending a card. Or worse again, she steals money from one of your guests!! Look, she has a history of theft, even your family agree with you. She brought this on herself. Don't invite her to the wedding, the potential for it to go wrong is too high.
wuffly wrote: » If you don't invite her its something that you can never undo even if she turns things around down the line, so its a hard one to call.
