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Child Item

is it ever ok to punch a bully in the f**kin face?

Roger Hassenforder

the young fella is now in senior infants. And with every school, there's a little bollicks in the yard that picks on the smaller lads, mine included sometimes. its not an issue, he doesn't seem too worried about it (yet?!), but the wife and I differ on dealing with it.

I'm old school, and have said to him, its ok to defend himself, but not to throw the first slap, to warn the bully if he pushes/kicks him again that he'll retaliate in kind. then if the scrote picks on him again, mill the little f**ker. He might take a few extra slaps, but he'll be too much hassle for the bully the next time, he'll pick on some one else.

Needless to say the wife has a different view, and thinks im encouraging him to be a thug. I say the little chap has to learn to stand up for himself, ive to teach him how to do it.

Is there too much namby pambying these days? Are we running to the teachers every time our kids gets pushed over demanding interventions bla bla etc., hearing the usual platitudes "violence doesn't solve anything", "its a cry for help" from the little scrote", that polices are in place do deal with it...
do we need to teach our kids assertiveness and not to take ****e from bullies?

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myshirt

I'm very surprised with all the pass the buck answers.

Guys, that doesn't resolve it. The core issue is the kid's own ability to deal with life. The kid can't be mammied through it all. Where the hell did you people grow up?

beanie10

Joeytheparrot wrote:

Your Wife is absolutely 100% right

aren't they always!

Annasopra

beanie10 wrote: »

aren't they always!

beanie10

Joeytheparrot wrote:

No

ssh Dont tell them that!

Annasopra

myshirt wrote: »

I'm very surprised with all the pass the buck answers.

Guys, that doesn't resolve it. The core issue is the kid's own ability to deal with life. The kid can't be mammied through it all. Where the hell did you people grow up?

And teaching kids that violence is the answer to life achieves what exactly?

helimachoptor

When I was in primary school someone, I didn't know who long story short felt my bag move, jumped under my desk, got out from under my desk got bagged on head, picked up chair smashed him in the face with it, happy to give your kid lessons op

Un Croissant

helimachoptor wrote: »

When I was in primary school someone, I didn't know who long story short felt my bag move, jumped under my desk, got out from under my desk got bagged on head, picked up chair smashed him in the face with it, happy to give your kid lessons op

Wat?

myshirt

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

And teaching kids that violence is the answer to life achieves what exactly?

Violence is not the answer.

But we don't live in a perfect world unfortunately. Asking the child to be the next Mahatma Gandhi is unrealistic.

Turtyturd

Un Croissant wrote: »

Wat?

Got tbagged, smacked perpetrator with chair.

looking_around

Molester Stallone II wrote: »

Of course you should speak to the teacher, it must be brought to their attention & let them deal with it, believe me, they have a lot more experience dealing with little Mussolinis than you have.

and more times then not, they do feck all.

At OP, talk to the teachers, that's the correct protocol. But also, yes, it's perfectly ok for your son to defend himself.

But remember what self defence is?
Doing enough to get away. It's not a beating. It's doing enough to escape the situation.
And be careful, what you encourage your son to do, or he'll be the one in trouble.

nc19

This is the worst parenting I have ever seen

telling a child to close his fist and punch anothet child. Ridiculous!

Lead with the elbow man. Everyone knows that!!!

tonycascarino

Ya, it's ok to punch a bully in the face. Did it when I was young and he never tried anything again.

kiffer

Have schools changed so much that teachers have started to do something when they are told about bullying?
My understanding was that the anti bullying policy was "tell people there is a policy to deal with bullying, bullying is not allowed, and therefore doesn't happen".
So when a child is bullied and defends themselves/hits back it's just fighting.

looking_around

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Teachers are obliged to deal with it nowadays. Schools have completely changed!!!!!

Nowadays as oppose to what?
2 years ago?
5?
10?

I have seen a friends kids have trouble with bullying, 2 years ago. The teachers bring it up with the parents, but that is it.
They turn their backs in the halls and walk the other way.

Just because they are supposed to deal with, does not mean they do.

When I was in school, I remember the whole fiasco.
Calling parents in, having a talking to with the kid, and in the end, you just got bullied some more.

Bullying didn't stop despite how many times I "told". No, it stopped when I fcuking snapped and slammed a prick against the wall.

helimachoptor

Un Croissant wrote: »

Wat?

I'm hungover..

Wilfork

LowOdour wrote: »

Fair enough I might be slightly pissed...but wazku is right..,arm the young 'un with a blade

After he gives him a few shots, tell him to just let his hand drop to his side and the knife slip out. Everybody will still think he has it. Then he should walk out of the place real fast, but don't run. Don't look nobody directly in the eye, but don't look away either.

These things gotta happen every five years or so, ten years. Helps to get rid of the bad blood. You know, you gotta stop them at the beginning. Like they should have stopped Hitler at Munich, they should never let him get away with that, they was just asking for trouble.

sjb25

O split him open with a box!!!!!! They may even become friends lol

ian87

That old chestnut... Professionally I am obliged to say no, that is not allowed, you are to tell the teacher ie me and let me deal with it.

Personally I think kids like that only respond to a slap in the chops. Bullies prey on those they think won't react or stand up for themselves. It's something I'll be telling my own kids to do...

xLisaBx

I'd tell him to defend himself! I got so much grief in school that it still affects me now. A whole school of teachers decided to ignore what was happening to me, the only way it ceased (even if it was only for an hour or so) was self defence.
Don't put him through years of torture

Tail Docker

My eldest went through school quietly enduring bullies and being nice, mainly as he is a terribly nice young lad. My youngest takes a different view and cheerfully splits them a new one if they try it on with him. There are now very few volunteers to have a new one split for themselves.

On a purely "personal mental health" front, Option B appears to be much better, the youngest is very open, happy and mentally strong. The bullies squashed the older lads self esteem a fair bit. So I'd say clatter them and smile.

On a "getting suspended for fighting" front, Option A appears to avoid this, but to me, a happy suspended child is preferable to a cowed "good boy". The youngest seems to get suspended rather a lot... I can live with that.

Markcheese

Combination of approaches , involve teacher, possibly other kids parents,try and get your young fella to keep out of the thugs way, and if it comes to fists so be it ...

[Deleted User]

kowloon wrote: »

This kid fought back and was praised for it.

Id have no problem with the fact if the bullied kid stood up for himself by returning a box or two but I think powerslamming the little brat might have been a step too far. Only the Aussies could praise a 12 year old getting press slammed face first on the concrete

Satriale

Tell your kid to punch him in the nose. You will be also doing the bully a favour also, if he gets enough responses like that he might not carry his behaviour into adulthood.

Dr Turk Turkelton

Op forget all this talk of boxing and martial arts. Teach your son the gentile art of the headbutt.

As a great man once said "a headbutt is worth a thousand words".***

***may or may not have been a great man.

Czarcasm

OP don't listen to your wife at all, get good, solid advice from the Internet -

Send your child into school with a machete and order him to behead anyone who so much as glances in his direction.

That'll learn 'em.

Hannibal Smith

Its tough. ..I always had the belief if you get hit you hit back and was prepared to instill that into my kid when it came to the school yard.

But then last year there was a 'game' in the yard where they were all pulling each other's hoods and my guy just happened to be the one caught doing it. It was a stupid dangerous game...he got into big trouble with the teacher and with us as the game had to be stopped.

Trying to explain to him why he was the only one who got into trouble when everyone waa doing it was tricky. So now I tell him don't hit anyone or play any rough games. ..because he could be the only one who gets caught and as the teacher doesn't know him she has no choice but to come down on him. If someone is being rough we've come up with a three step type of approach so he's not running to a teacher every single time someone hits him

Un Croissant

Why wait for the next provocation? Have your son walk up to this guy tomorrrow first thing and lace him with a headbutt then have him lay into the guy with his lunchbox like a propa 'ard man. Job jobbed.

[Deleted User]

I'd have a word with the teacher but having the child enrolled in some kind of class like boxing or martial whatever for kids would be good to keep him active, bit of self defence if needed, maybe some confidence also, little extra never hurts

Annasopra

ian87 wrote: »

That old chestnut... Professionally I am obliged to say no, that is not allowed, you are to tell the teacher ie me and let me deal with it.

Personally I think kids like that only respond to a slap in the chops. Bullies prey on those they think won't react or stand up for themselves. It's something I'll be telling my own kids to do...

You're not very professional then tbh if you're advocating violence

Annasopra

looking_around wrote: »

Nowadays as oppose to what?
2 years ago?
5?
10?

I have seen a friends kids have trouble with bullying, 2 years ago. The teachers bring it up with the parents, but that is it.
They turn their backs in the halls and walk the other way.

Just because they are supposed to deal with, does not mean they do.

When I was in school, I remember the whole fiasco.
Calling parents in, having a talking to with the kid, and in the end, you just got bullied some more.

Bullying didn't stop despite how many times I "told". No, it stopped when I fcuking snapped and slammed a prick against the wall.

Last year http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/education/primary_and_post_primary_education/attendance_and_discipline_in_schools/bullying_in_schools_in_ireland.html