paddy1990 wrote: » Some of us value our time and don't particularly enjoy running around getting rejected over and over, which would lead to a bad reputation in relatively small town but each to their own. I don't doubt a huge numbers game would work. It's the time/effort involved, plus the constant rejection, that puts off a lot of guys I'd say. I do well from online dating so I would have absolutely no desire to run around getting rejected but I have met girls in shops/streets, all when they smiled at me first.
Deleted User wrote: » Not exactly that, a quick lean-back on a night out is all I need. :P If it's someone I've been getting to know or when people say that my physical appearance doesn't matter that much, it's those lies that annoy me. :P
paddy1990 wrote: » The first reply practically explained it to you but years later you still haven't got it. There is no problem with approaching a woman ANYWHERE, in Tesco, on the street, in a shop etc. The prerequisite is that she has given you some kind of signal e.g eye contact/smile. If that isn't happening, then approaching them is a no no.
Classicporter wrote: » Rejection doesn't really bother me, I don't see approaching women as "work". To me it's fun.
Deleted User wrote: » The morbid obesity and baldness. :P
paddy1990 wrote: » Knowing how shallow women are, you should now work on getting the weight down and getting a hair transplant.
paddy1990 wrote: » PUA ALERT. lol, stop kidding yourself. Rejection bothers most males.
pwurple wrote: » :rolleyes:
Classicporter wrote: » People are attracted to what they're attracted to, it's arbitrary to say being attracted to particular traits is shallow. If you define being attracted to good looks as shallow then men are more shallow than women. Personality is the most powerful factor in attracting women in my opinion. Look at Gordon Ramsay for example, that is one ugly man, yet countless women have soaked their underwear thinking about him.
kiffer wrote: » Yeah, and spiders don't bother me at all... and I make sure to tell arachnophobic people that all the time, works a treat they all say "why didn't I think of that, just don't let it bother me".
Classicporter wrote: » People are attracted to what they're attracted to, it's arbitrary to say being attracted to particular traits is shallow.
If you define being attracted to good looks as shallow then men are more shallow than women.
Personality is the most powerful factor in attracting women in my opinion.
Look at Gordon Ramsay for example, that is one ugly man, yet countless women have soaked their underwear thinking about him.
paddy1990 wrote: » If youre a healthy human being, rejection isnt nice. Its not normal to not care about being rejected.
paddy1990 wrote: » Ramseys money and fame might have something to do with it? If you can show me several ugly men with no money or fame with really attractive girlfriends i will listen. Stories about "this guy i know" dont count.
Wibbs wrote: » (...) Actually he's not an "ugly man" by any stretch of the imagination. He's not an obvious "hunk" to men, but enough women would find him physically attractive. He's 6ft tall, well built, regular and rugged of face in a rugger bugger fashion, socially confident to a fault, driven and passionate about his work and very successful at this work. Hell he can cook. Gordon Ramsey is about as far from "one ugly man" as you could get outside the realm of male models and film stars and in many settings he'd scare off one dimensional male models and actors in seconds.
pwurple wrote: » There are millions of overweight balding men with wives and children. Ya know, meaningful family relationships. Procreation. Successful passing of genes onto next generation. But you count success as a trophy girlfriend?
macplato wrote: » I think what you said here, Wibbs, points to something very important. Coincidentally, I've been wondering over the last few days, whether Gordon Ramsey is a good-looking man or not. Is he attractive? Oh, hell yeah. But is he good-looking? I can't really tell. All the things that you listed: his drive, passion, skill, confidence, etc., make the way he looks quite irrelevant, to the point that I (and I think many others, too) can't really judge his physical appearance without taking into account his attractiveness. Would he be considered good-looking if he wasn't so attractive? I don't know, but somehow I don't think so. I've heard this so many times from friends and acquaintances about people they were interested in: "He/she isn't that good looking, but he/she is so attractive". I think some people are able to make a distinction between good-looks and attractiveness, but many others just mix the two up (I know I do). And here is the point: while we are largely helpless about our physical beauty, there is absolutely no excuse for not being/not working towards being attractive. In my book, if you are unattractive, you are a lazy, cowardly git, and once you are an adult, you have only yourself to blame for lack of social success. It sound harsh, I know, but the thing is - any time is good to start making changes, to start working towards becoming an attractive human being, and the OP (let's not forget the OP! :pac:) is doing exactly that. You've already earned respect and admiration from many people on this thread, OP, and that is a great start! Is it self defeatist to say that some men are meant to be alone? Totally. Get rid of that kind of thinking, keep doing what you are doing, go to counseling if you need to, and you'll be fine. Nobody should be alone, unless they choose it.
Wibbs wrote: » I dunno P. For me anyway* there are levels of rejection care. Random woman I say hello to rejects me? I think; "eh... OK. No biggie". If she does so in a nasty way I genuinely think "bullet fcuking dodged there. Clearly a saddo who can't control herself or her public face". Rejection from a woman I know and have already started something with? Way different story. That's a kick in the heartnutz alright. A relationship breakup? Hell I'm breaking out the Ben & Jerrys, the vino, watching sad flics and listening to sad songs wallowing in my own misery like the best of them. But I see those two examples as very different things. In the first example with a stranger I have little if anything invested emotionally. Sure I've taken a "risk" by saying hello and engaging, but let's face it folks that's hardly running across No mans land in Ypres as far as risks go. Plus I keep in mind, mostly on a subconscious level I suppose, that I've also been accepted by women, had a nice chat(which is nice), maybe something more, a bit of an oul snog, a flingette or even forged a relationship from such encounters. I dunno, for me as I said, getting too bound up in rejection with a stranger is akin to betting on a horse and crying about it before the race is even run. It just never made sense to me. I do recall a particular incident when I was about 22. I had a date with this woman who was a bit of a roide in fairness. Got lots of attention. Anyway she essentially asked me out on said date**. Well... I was so thick at the time she had to. But it was a disaster. Long silences, awkward as fook. Cold as a fridge by the end. So I was walking home from the pub and I really got very down about it. I had "missed my chance" with this "babe'. I was near close to tears I don't mind admitting. Got home and was commiserating with my dog as you do. And while he was looking at me with big doggie eyes wondering "poor bastard, but why isn't monkey boy feeding me biccies", it hit me. I hadn't lost anything. She had agreed, even pushed for a date with me, but it didn't work, we didn't work, we just didn't gel as people/I was a nervous gobshíte/she was the same. And I realised too that she was boring as fook. Drying paint time. All she has was her great bod and face. At least with me. She might have been well suited to another(actually with hindsight, no, she was boring as fook and all she had was her nice arse) So why was I so upset? A little upset was fine, but not to that degree. TBH the date and her might have been a dead loss, but I'm grateful to her for that night. Made one helluva diff in my life from then on.*though it's already been hinted/suggested I'm a sociopath on this thread. ** Why? I wasn't the best looking in my group. I was about middling I'd say. However I was one of the keystones of the group. If I left the group would have dissipated. My suggestions for venues was generally the one listened to, that sort of thing. I suppose I had "social power".
paddy1990 wrote: » Actually for many men it's not their fault they are unattractive and thus it's not their fault they are finding it very difficult to get into a meaningful relationship these days. The whole "it's all your fault" mentality is the one I take biggest issue with.
macplato wrote: » I disagree with that. I've seen too many people, men and women, who managed to transform themselves from timid, mediocre, depressed, struggling individuals into fascinating, strong, irresistible human beings - right in front of my eyes - to have a view as fatalistic as yours. Each time, it only took a few months of extremely hard work to begin a lasting change. And I'm not talking here about ego-pumping techniques, it's all about passion and self-worth, something we all have control over.
TheBeardedLady wrote: » I was with you 'till the end then the harsh bit seemed a bit too harsh for my liking. Tbh, if men had to describe HONESTLY what they found attractive in a woman without listing off physical attributes, would those lists match the lists of every other men out there? I genuinely don't find Gordon Ramsey attractive. My step-mam does on the other hand as do a few of my friends. Speaking personally, the physical side to attraction I could pretty much get fairly right on a night out with nice clothes, a bit of make up, some (not a huge amount) of boobaloob showing (for example), hair done nicely but the rest of it I reckon is down to the auld luck in most cases. It's the "je ne sais quoi"that people talk about. It has fcuk all to do with laziness or cowardice and is more down to the fact that you simply have it or you don't in most cases but that "it" and what it constitutes varies from person to person, so it's impossible to strive for no matter how "hard" or "brave" you are. I'm open to being corrected though.
Galwayguy35 wrote: » It is true about Polish men expecting the woman to do all the housework, that's the way things are over in Poland, it's kinda like Ireland was 25 years ago.
Y2KBOS86 wrote: » No it's not.
