paddy1990 wrote: » Strongly disagree with the bulk of your post. Women care about looks just as much as men generally. Women are just as shallow as men and to believe differently is just ridiculous. Look around and you'll see A LOT of men dating down. I was in town earlier and the amount of in shape guys with chubby girls was amazing. Age is a huge factor for men than it is for women. Try picking up a 20 year old girl if you're 35. Meanwhile set up a dating profile with an average 35 year old womans pictures online and see how many 20 year old guys she can get (hint - alot) Heres another one, set up a dating profile online of a girl in a WHEELCHAIR and see how many guys are still willing to date her and then do the same for a man in a wheelchair. I have done all of these experiments. Social media has blown up the egos of your average woman. It's hard not to think you are hot stuff when you're getting 50+ likes per photo and having guys chase you every day. All attractive women have to do these days is take out their smartphones for a nice ego/validation boost. The OP wouldn't be in his position if he looked like a male model. As it is now, he has little chance. He is too far behind. I'm not saying it's completely hopeless but he needs to get real and then start putting the work in, fairly sharpish.
Bafucin wrote: » They have it different.
Mike747 wrote: » Every ladies man I know has a low opinion of women and they're are also pretty cynical in general. I guess that's the downside of being good with women. I've been thinking a lot about this thread and I believe there are four reasons why a man would have absolutely no luck with women. 1. He's absolute bottom of the barrel, beyond redemption ugly. Unfortunately these men do exist and anyone saying looks don't matter is fooling no one. Thankfully this is very rare. Most 'ugly' people can scrub up pretty well. 2. He has major hang ups about women and sex. 3. He has crippling self esteem issues. 4. He's the 'nice guy'. More than likely it'll will 2-3 or a combination of. All of these can be overcome.
ThomasFlynn wrote: » Oh I don't normally, I suppose its because I don't have a lot of experience with the opposite sex generally and then I hear/read so much about women having it easier, ladies can get a shag anytime they want and all this stuff, and all I'm doing here is just asking others whether or not these 'stereotypes' are true (because I don't really know). Having said that I don't tend to categorise men and women so broadly as I know its unhelpful to think in those terms. Although it is worth noting statistically women are actually less likely to still be virgins at 40 than men are (1.2% to 0.3% according to a US government study on sexual behaviour), but I take your point regardless I don't draw huge conclusions based on somebody's sex. .
ongarboy wrote: » Ironically, based on a lot of what you've posted, you seem to suffer badly from what I've highlighted in bold from your post above. You must obviously therefore be speaking from experience on how it has adversely affected your success rate with women! Interesting that you say it can be overcome when it clearly hasn't for you yet....!
Bafucin wrote: OP if no one else says this to you I want to say it. Well done. You ARE getting there. Pat yourself on the back. Give yourself credit.
diveout wrote: At some point you need to stop overthinking things and start doing something.
catallus wrote: » We all die alone anyways. Or we live to see the ones we love die.
audi12 wrote: » OP has an awful attitude some people are meant to be alone loser talk .. I wouldent be suprised if he wasnt successful in his career either with such an attitude
Galwayguy35 wrote: » The OP pretty much bared his soul on an internet forum full of strangers, that took courage IMO.
ThomasFlynn wrote: » Not really. I suppose its because I've spent so much time beating myself up over the years over what a freak I am, what a 'loser' I am how the whole world seemingly hated me and wanted nothing to do with me that I couldn't really care anymore. I've considered suicide many times over this in the past so its as if I've come into this discussion with nothing to lose. I'm not expecting 'pity' infact I'm not really wanting that, I want solutions rather people feeling sorry me and I think I've had a good honest and frank discussion which was exactly what I was looking for.
paddy1990 wrote: » You're asking men with thousands of posts on internet forums for advice on this issue which isn't a good idea. Many of the guys giving you advice here are not in much better positions than yourself, if that.
You've generally received awful advice in the thread imo.
paddy1990 wrote: » If you want solutions you are going to have to have clearly defined goals. What exactly is it you want? Specifically? Is it realistically achievable? Once that is known for sure, then you can get a delineated path. Then once you have a clearly defined path, you can then take action, one step at a time. This whole thing is holistic though. Health, wealth and relationships are intrinsically linked.
paddy1990 wrote: » Is it realistically achievable?
paddy1990 wrote: » I haven't given the OP any advice really, just tried to provide a pragmatic outlook. A utilitarian approach can be construed as pessimistic/negative and as a result, useless, while a wishy washy hopeful approach makes everyone feel good and is thus seen as a better way.
paddy1990 wrote: » Well I prefer pragmatism and if the OP wants to improve, so should he. I haven't really given him any advice because I'm not sure he will take it, although I think he is in a great position because he is open/honest/humble about where he is, and thats a great start.
ThomasFlynn wrote: » I have absolutely no idea, that's why I am asking other people. Infact in case you didn't notice thats kinda of the reason I wrote the thread in the first place, the clue is in the title!
paddy1990 wrote: » Well what are you looking for exactly? What are your standards and what does the end result look like? If you can't see it being realistically achievable and have to ask people online, then I doubt it is realistically achievable. I'm sure you can see some type of realistically achievable scenario though. If you don't have an inkling of whether what you are thinking is realistically achievable then you'll need to give it a real go and see what results. You'll need to be taking the right approach and at the same time be as brutally honest with yourself as possible. But i get the feeling you have an inkling that it's not achievable at all. Human nature = a positive outlook is better than a negative outlook, even if the negative outlook is more pragmatic, so you were always only ever going to get one response here, no matter what is was you were asking was realistically achievable.
eric prydz wrote: » I think that you need to follow your own advice there Paddy and lose the negativity from your posts
paddy1990 wrote: » Youre mistaking pragmatism for negativity. A common mistake.
Mike747 wrote: » A perfectly achievable goal would be to develop the confidence to go out and strike up conversations with girls, have a few one night stands and eventually get a girlfriend. I would qualify this by saying it's a long term process, maybe two years minimum. The idea is to take baby steps, talk to a stranger, get a phone number, make out with a girl, bring home a girl etc. Providing you learn deal with rejection, and you would face a lot of rejection, especially starting off, you could achieve this goal.
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