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Masturbation

better call saul

Seems to still be a taboo, I usually have to knock one out twice a day to relive stress. Don't understand why is a taboo as it's a common as going to the toilet

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syklops

Chance The Fapper wrote: »

They don't call me chance for nothing.

Did you ever try the danger **** where you start and then shout for your ma, knowing you have to finish and dispose of any mess before she enters the room.

Not tried it myself, but I've heard of it.

Cantremember

DeadHand wrote: »

Basic human function...

What makes it more thread worthy than taking a slash or blowing your nose?

Catholic guilt?

Anyway, another nonsense, **** thread.

I read your post with astonishment at the dismissal of a central AH topic. Then I saw your username.

Cee-Jay-Cee

better call saul wrote: »

Seems to still be a taboo, I usually have to knock one out twice a day to relive stress. Don't understand why is a taboo as it's a common as going to the toilet

You should get yourself a girlfriend. Once you lose your virginity, you'll want the real thing.

Cienciano

The_Pretender wrote: »

Nothing says 'almost caught masturbating' like having your mam walk in on you looking at the Google homepage.

Do you hide your cock, or the filth on your computer screen?

better call saul

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

You should get yourself a girlfriend. Once you lose your virginity, you'll want the real thing.

Have one already, a hand shandy is less trouble plus I can fall asleep on my own terms

Vandango

better call saul wrote: »

Dude? Last time I checked we weren't on the states!

* Looks at username and laughs at the irony *

smash

DeadHand wrote: »

Anyway, another nonsense, **** thread.

It wouldn't be AH without them. I think we're due another "do you shave your bits" thread any day now.

better call saul

Vandango wrote: »

* Looks at username and laughs at the irony *

I don't go around like a bart Simpson wannabe calling people dude and live in a world where everything is rad. I just fap a lot

goz83

Cienciano wrote: »

Do you hide your cock, or the filth on your computer screen?

Or stand on the mess you left on the carpet? :pac:

DeadHand

better call saul wrote: »

Dude? Last time I checked we weren't on the states!

How does one get "on" the states exactly?

Did I appear to straddle a geographic expanse?

Ah, Christ... I'm worse for engaging...

hatrickpatrick

IMO not enough people understand the unbelievable joys of edging. Instead of just doing it to completion and f*cking off, do it almost to completion, force yourself to back off for a minute or two, then resume. Repeat this as many times as you can hack, the eventual payoff is much, much better than the usual.

smash

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

IMO not enough people understand the unbelievable joys of edging. Instead of just doing it to completion and f*cking off, do it almost to completion, force yourself to back off for a minute or two, then resume. Repeat this as many times as you can hack, the eventual payoff is much, much better than the usual.

Too much effort.

herisson

smash wrote: »

Too much effort.

But so rewarding

Frosty McSnowballs

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

IMO not enough people understand the unbelievable joys of edging. Instead of just doing it to completion and f*cking off, do it almost to completion, force yourself to back off for a minute or two, then resume. Repeat this as many times as you can hack, the eventual payoff is much, much better than the usual.

Who the fcuk has time for that? I'm not going to mickey tease myself! Iv significant posting to be doing on the internet!

Sir Arthur Daley

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

Who the fcuk has time for that? I'm not going to mickey tease myself! Iv significant posting to be doing on the internet!

Learn to type with one hand.

Frosty McSnowballs

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Learn to type with one hand.

That's what iv been doing all night

kowloon

When I was younger I used to watch Sci-Fi at night with the volume down low (Father highly critical of Sci-Fi for unknown reasons). Anyway, there was movement outside the living room so I mashed the remote only to switch on an adult movie as my Mother walked into the room. At the time I still considered it a victory.

Strong Life in Dublin

If I'm bored I will jerk off about 20 times in one day. But I prefer to masturbate every second day as it feel much better and the cum waaaaay more.

Chancer3001

I see myself as the Incredible Hulk.

Pre **** I'm the hulk.

Immediately after happy explosion I'm the mild mannered guy.

The incredible **** anti-hulk.

Catchy

takamichinoku

kowloon wrote: »

When I was younger I used to watch Sci-Fi at night with the volume down low (Father highly critical of Sci-Fi for unknown reasons).

...how critical is highly critical? Like, was he gonna beat you for watching Star Trek or something?

Talib Fiasco

Masturbation is like procrastination you're only f*cking yourself

Cienciano

Chancer3001 wrote: »

I see myself as the Incredible Hulk.

Pre **** I'm the hulk.

Immediately after happy explosion I'm the mild mannered guy.

The incredible **** anti-hulk.

Catchy

Do you sing that song as you ****?

Chancer3001

Cienciano wrote: »

Do you sing that song as you ****?

It's not a song.

It's a potential new superhero

kowloon

takamichinoku wrote: »

...how critical is highly critical? Like, was he gonna beat you for watching Star Trek or something?

Critical, not abusive!

nails1

The only time I can masturbate is 2am when I can hope that my housemates are asleep so I can do it without being heard.

MS.ing

nails1 wrote: »

The only time I can masturbate is 2am when I can hope that my housemates are asleep so I can do it without being heard.

you need to think again. no point having housemates if they live in the same room as you, things are obviously different if you are attracted to and get to sex them though

smash

nails1 wrote: »

The only time I can masturbate is 2am when I can hope that my housemates are asleep so I can do it without being heard.

Is this so they don't notice you leaning over them?

Micky Dolenz

Thread smells worse than a **** sock.

[Deleted User]

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

IMO not enough people understand the unbelievable joys of edging. Instead of just doing it to completion and f*cking off, do it almost to completion, force yourself to back off for a minute or two, then resume. Repeat this as many times as you can hack, the eventual payoff is much, much better than the usual.

i keep trying that i give in straight away , sounds great though

Penny Tration

Strong Life in Dublin wrote: »

If I'm bored I will jerk off about 20 times in one day. But I prefer to masturbate every second day as it feel much better and the cum waaaaay more.

Twenty times in one day?

How has your knob not fallen off?