Yer Aul One wrote: » This happened to me before and my ex rang an unknown number that had rang me and explained she was my gf and asked why they had rang me. God, I am glad to be out of that one
Wibbs wrote: » It's down to manners and trust. Hell I had an ex girlfriend and the end was messy as they sometimes can be. I knew her passwords to her email and such(long story but I needed them to sort a techie issue when we were together). Anyway about a year later she rang me in a panic with a major problem needing sorting and during the back and forth she told me she hadn't changed her passwords. "Oh I knew you'd never use them". That's called trust and character. ..... Some people don't get it though. I've had a couple of people check my phone on dates, when I went to the bar or whatever. End date.
RDM_83 again wrote: » That raises an interesting point. I think its easy to say, its wrong you need to complete some-ones privacy while at the same time a relationship is about openness trust and honesty, if you know some-ones sign in details etc anyway (as I presume most people do in a long term relationship it seems to be the case with most couples I know) its easy to say why would you check if some-one was paranoid about not giving any of these details to their partner isn't that a massive red flag I think the internet gives a more hardline view than you might encounter in real life, we are after all talking not using our real names and most of us ( :rolleyes: ) not giving away massive amounts of personal information so obviously some amount of privacy and anonymity is important to 'us'. I'm not defending snooping here but I think the moment of weakness/insecurity and they check your phone and thats a deal breaker for the other person probably doesn;t happen that much in real life.
chellyry wrote: » What are people's views on checking their partner's phones? Personally I see nothing wrong with it so long as it isn't every day and in a 'checking up on you' kind of way. If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone? I ask because I have never had a problem with it, but my partner has recently become very protective over his and won't let me even touch it, even though I allow him to check mine. I'm not looking for advice here, just opinions on the question above. I've also noticed a lot of comments on posts where people are appalled at partners who do this. So, which side are you on? Don't see any problem with it, or think it's a complete invasion of privacy?
Wibbs wrote: » Some people don't get it though. I've had a couple of people check my phone on dates, when I went to the bar or whatever. End date.
Kelly06 wrote: » I had no problem with the husband using my phone, fb or having access to my e mail. We both knew the others phone pins and pssswords we had nothing to hide. Thing is like your other half he changed towards his phone. I still was allowed to use it if I needed as he was on a bill and I was ready to go. He started deleting all his texts and phone calls from the log preferring to keep his phone "clean" In his own words. His bills which came from the joint account were going up and up, often in the region of 160 - 200 a month and it wasn't being used in connection with his work either. I noticed the change and thought it was odd but just brushed it off. Fast forward a few months and I found something in a pocket of a jacket that a married man would have no use for unless he was playing away. To be clear the jacket was in the wash so it was carelessness on his part rather than nosiness on my part! Armed with this new evidence my curiosity got the better of me and I searched the house for any evidence of an extra marital affair and I found a phone bill. I looked at the phone bill and realised that during a weekend I was away there was literally hundreds of texts to two numbers, so many that it couldn't have been a friend. So I committed a mortal sin and rang those numbers! There is no smoke without fire and the two women on the phone admitted quite a bit to me. He still tried to deny any wrong doing. That was the last day we spent together as man and wife , cheaters don't get second chances. So to all the people who say that it's wrong to check a partners phone, wrong to invade their privacy and that if there is no trust the relationship is over all I can say in a healthy relationship you are right but when your being cheated on often all you have is a feeling or intuition that something isn't right and you have to uncover evidence before you confront your partner. To all of you who say you would never ever do it I say you just don't know till you are confronted with the stomach churning realisation that someone you love is playing away and everybody else knows but you. I think most people would want the truth and if the only way to get was to snoop dishonestly you would do it! I put my hands up I did it and I'm fecking glad I did !
Ghost Buster wrote: » My wife and i read each others texts and mail all the time. Its not checking up it being helpful. Utter trust. heck we poop in front of each other. Just thought I'd leave you with that image.
Candie wrote: » That's fine if it's just your own privacy at stake, but it violates the privacy of the people who think they're texting you, not your wife. As for the other... no. In every way, no.
Fat Christy wrote: » .... no way would I poo in front of my partner. No way, gawd no!!
Fat Christy wrote: » I'm a filthy wh*re but no way would I poo in front of my partner. No way, gawd no!!
groucho marx wrote: » I dont check my partners and I wouldnt be at all impressed if he was reading my texts. I think people that do it are hoping to find something. Its weird,creepy and very unattractive.
How Soon Is Now wrote: » That's grand I understand that but I think most people are talking about checking phones etc for no reason other than being nosey jealous or not trusting someone.
Kelly06 wrote: » What people are missing here is that the op's other half has changed in relation to the way he treats his phone. Huge red flag, huge. If it was the way he always was I would be okay with that but the change in behaviour is an obvious warning sign that all is not what it seems. I would be very worried if I was the op. I'm not the jealous type never was and hopefully I won't be in the future after my bad experience but if your gut instinct says something's wrong get that proof what ever way you can
How Soon Is Now wrote: » Thats pure paranoid crap right there. Eh maybe hes just sick of someone messing around with his phone? For example i have my phone set up a certain way and i keep it in good condition. My girlfriends is another story thats why i dont want her at it. No one else needs to go threw your personal stuff and you dont need to go threw theres.
Kelly06 wrote: » Yeah I understand what your saying all right and before my own personal situation I would have 100% agreed. The other half could look at all my stuff if he liked and often did. I rarely ever used his phone if I did I did it in his company. But what your missing is the change of behaviour, you say your phone is a certain way and you like it that way and honestly that is sound out but I bet that's the way you've always been? You didn't just suddenly start becoming precious with your phone overnight did you? You don't have unfettered acess to your girlfriends phone and use it but don't allow her to see yours do you? That's what's happening in the op's relationship, your relationship on the other hand seems to be healthy with neither of you bothered to have access to the others phone and it always being that way. it's a classic sign of cheating, really it is, it's not just paranoia.
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