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Checking your partner's phone

chellyry

What are people's views on checking their partner's phones?

Personally I see nothing wrong with it so long as it isn't every day and in a 'checking up on you' kind of way. If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone?

I ask because I have never had a problem with it, but my partner has recently become very protective over his and won't let me even touch it, even though I allow him to check mine. I'm not looking for advice here, just opinions on the question above. I've also noticed a lot of comments on posts where people are appalled at partners who do this.

So, which side are you on? Don't see any problem with it, or think it's a complete invasion of privacy?

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Comments

Xios

I do mind if my girlfriend looks at my phone, because I have no control over how she would interpret what i've said, or what people have said to me.

Also, if I wanted her to know what i've been saying in private conversations, I'd tell her.

[Deleted User]

OP, Why on earth are you with someone you obviously dont trust?

[Deleted User]

Bad, bad, bad

catallus

OP's partner is obviously cheating. Only explanation.

blackwhite

chellyry wrote: »

If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone?

And if you trust your partner why do you feel the need to be snooping in their phone?

ShadowHearth

In 10 years i never checked her phone or any other things in that category.
Since we split up and still living in same place ( not for long now) I have not checked her phone or Facebook even once, even if I know passwords and her tablet with all accounts sits at home all the time.
Privacy is privacy, no matter what happens. Checking on someone else's stuff, even partners, is just a dick move.

[Deleted User]

I hate checking my own phone for messages, Id be damned if I started checking his too :pac:

pfurey101

Them mormons have a mad time. Him having to snoop on 8 mobiles.

Egginacup

chellyry wrote: »

What are people's views on checking their partner's phones?

Personally I see nothing wrong with it so long as it isn't every day and in a 'checking up on you' kind of way. If you have nothing to hide then why make a big deal out of your partner looking at your phone?

I ask because I have never had a problem with it, but my partner has recently become very protective over his and won't let me even touch it, even though I allow him to check mine. I'm not looking for advice here, just opinions on the question above. I've also noticed a lot of comments on posts where people are appalled at partners who do this.

So, which side are you on? Don't see any problem with it, or think it's a complete invasion of privacy?

I have everything to hide and nothing to hide. It's MY call, not anyone else's

But since you've got nothing to hide then give us your email, facebook, twitter, etc. passwords, just so we can have a look.

Fair?

somesoldiers

Mrs eyes light up if I leave the room and phone is not protected. nothing on it tbh but she would make a meal out of the slightest thing. I would have zero interest in checking hers

Sauve

If I thought my friends' partners had access to messages/mails I send them, then it'd severely limit our friendship.

Danjamin1

OP don't mind people saying he's definitely cheating, it just means he doesn't want you going through his private conversations. Completely reasonable.

Ishmael

Tbh, i wouldn't have much of a problem with someone checking my phone if they asked first to and had a reason to. I would be fairly peeved if they did check it without asking though.

It's similar to someone going into your bedroom and rooting through your stuff without asking.

KERSPLAT!

A relationship is based on trust. If the other half needs to check my phone there's no trust and not much of a relationship IMO

Yer Aul One

This happened to me before and my ex rang an unknown number that had rang me and explained she was my gf and asked why they had rang me.

God, I am glad to be out of that one

foggy_lad

OP why would anyone want to check their partners phone? If there is some suspicion they are cheating then I would be gone immediately and would not bother checking their phone. If I suspect they are cheating then unless I am some paranoid nutcase I will have a logical reason for my suspicions which will not need to be backed up by checking a phone.

chellyry

Egginacup wrote: »

I have everything to hide and nothing to hide. It's MY call, not anyone else's

But since you've got nothing to hide then give us your email, facebook, twitter, etc. passwords, just so we can have a look.

Fair?

I have nothing to hide FROM MY BF.

To clarify, I have never checked his messages in the past, only looked at his pictures etc.

He has looked at everything on mine but I don't mind that, anything private my friends have to say to me about their own lives they say it to my face not by text. That's all I'm saying. And I don't think he's cheating, I was just stating the reason the topic had been on my mind.

RDM_83 again

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

A relationship is based on trust. If the other half needs to check my phone there's no trust and not much of a relationship IMO

Its weird I occasionally read the PI forum and the view seems to be that checking some ones phone is literally one of the worst things you can do, even in the case where people have found incriminating stuff.
I've never checked the gf's phone but if i thought something was up i'd definitely consider it rather than immediately starting a conversation that implied she was cheating, one may be an invasion of privacy but the latter has the potential to ruin a relationship too

Wibbs

If a girlfriend looked through my phone? Game over, there's the door luv. If she couldn't see why I might take this stance I wouldn't want her in my life. It's down to manners and trust. Hell I had an ex girlfriend and the end was messy as they sometimes can be. I knew her passwords to her email and such(long story but I needed them to sort a techie issue when we were together). Anyway about a year later she rang me in a panic with a major problem needing sorting and during the back and forth she told me she hadn't changed her passwords. "Oh I knew you'd never use them". That's called trust and character.

If as Suave said I knew a mate was showing my communications to his or her partner I'd majorly restrict said communications.

Some people don't get it though. I've had a couple of people check my phone on dates, when I went to the bar or whatever. End date.

House of Blaze wrote: »

ATTENTION:

The popcorn machine will be out of order for the duration of this thread due to high demand.

That is all.

:pac:

catallus

Checking the physical hand-set is pretty amateurish, imo, why not just break in remotely?

Yer Aul One

catallus wrote: »

Checking the physical hand-set is pretty amateurish, imo, why not just break in remotely?

:pac::pac::pac::pac:

Girl needs to watch some more Bourne movies

[Deleted User]

chellyry wrote: »

I have nothing to hide FROM MY BF.

To clarify, I have never checked his messages in the past, only looked at his pictures etc.

He has looked at everything on mine but I don't mind that, anything private my friends have to say to me about their own lives they say it to my face not by text. That's all I'm saying. And I don't think he's cheating, I was just stating the reason the topic had been on my mind.

Why does he check yours?

Yer Aul One

Deleted User wrote: »

Why does he check yours?

Its not because they are in a poisonous relationship anyways...

krudler

Wibbs wrote: »

If as Suave said I knew a mate was showing my communications to his or her partner I'd majorly restrict said communications.

Some people don't get it though. I've had a couple of people check my phone on dates, when I went to the bar or whatever. End date.

This happened more than once? sweet jesus what is wrong with people.

salmocab

Who leaves their phone on the table when on a date anyway?

Fat Christy

I wouldn't mind my bf looking at my phone per se but if I caught him snooping through my messages, I'd go awol.

Ihatecuddles

I'd have no problem with my husband looking through my phone. He doesn't though.

Dracula!

OP Without reading all the thread he may have something else to hide other than cheating. Perhaps an addiction gambling drugs etc

catallus

Fat Christy wrote: »

I wouldn't mind my bf looking at my phone per se but if I caught him snooping through my messages, I'd go awol.

What are you hiding, FC?

Fat Christy

catallus wrote: »

What are you hiding, FC?

All the naked pics I sent to you.