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are you good at getting over someone?

MS.ing

if a relationship you are in breaks up? or do you get so wrapped up with that person that once its over youre kinda fooked cause you invested so much love, time and effort at the expense of other things (people) in your life that you take ages (months years) to get back 'in the game'

me, I dont dwell, lifes too short, deal and move on fast (weeks usually if its serious) same goes for someone that dies, brief mourning and quickly move on. whinging about it (to yourself) is pointless. it happened so get over it I think

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Sir Arthur Daley

Its very easy climb a fallen tree.

The Moldy Gowl

Depends how small they are.

ToddyDoody

Its only on the inside that I might have difficulties moving on

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Who?

MS.ing

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Its only on the inside that I might have difficulties moving on

so thats a no then

OldNotWIse

Rockbottom for a short while then spring back as if life is better than ever. I tend to be a fixer, put up with-er and I'll give it one more chance-er so usually by the time it blows up...there's not much left to get over. The plaster has been picked off slowly over time and the last tear is a short, sharp shock.

Fr_Dougal

A healthy supply of duct tape and black bin liners helps a lot.

ScumLord

I find the hardest part is dealing with the restraining order. Once she throws it in the bin it should be fair game.

hatrickpatrick

I'm good at getting over a crush before it becomes established. Like really good.
Conversely, I'm absolutely incapable of getting rid of long standing ones.

[Deleted User]

just get under someone new, be grand

bodice ripper

Nope, I have a soul.

Cantremember

Penny Tration

If it's been a long term thing, I'm generally in a bad way for a few months, cry non-stop for the first few weeks, then I'm better.

Short term, I'd be annoyed and lonely for a day or two, then fine.

Corkgirl210

Depends on who the person is and how long the relationship lasted and what emotion was invested in it...

I am generally not the type who "needs" a man to complete me.. I am too busy completing myself... have friends who need men.. I don't.. I can be happy single or happy in a relationship..

In my 20s went through a phase of needing to get into a relationship.. under one get over another mentality.. that brought its own heartache so vowed never again.. you're just using others to soothe the pain of the past/present...

takamichinoku

Dissect the **** out of everything for a few days then I'm grand, only person I can't seem to get over is myself.

No clue what I'd be like at the end of a proper fully committed long long term ****er of a thing now, though. Pretty aware of the kind of things that could leave me ****ed there though so if I wind up in one I'll hopefully be able to avoid that.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

I still fantasize about beating up the fcuker who stole my first girlfriend.

Grifter cycling bastard.

So eh, no. I'm not.

The Diabolical Monocle

Easy as pie.

It was a simple value exchange all along, predicated on the desire of both parties to quench their automated instincts.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Haha no. No, no, no.

Only for serious relationships like, it's not often that I love someone enough that a break up can send me bananas (only happened twice), but oooooooooooh boy when it does happen. I go NUCLEAR.

Cantremember

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Easy as pie.

It was a simple value exchange all along, predicated on the desire of both parties to quench their automated instincts.

Have you pointy ears?

MS.ing

bodice ripper wrote: »

Nope, I have a soul Im clingy oversensitive and see the whole point of my being as my boy/gf

fyp

Santa Cruz

TheZohan wrote: »

A healthy supply of duct tape and black bin liners helps a lot.

Is that you Larry?

[Deleted User]

Usually I wouldn't be the best when it comes to handling rejection but last time I was fine after a few days. Had 2 bad days and then I was alright. Was expecting it to be worse as well because I actually thought I had a shot. :pac:

whupdedo

I still **** to some of my exes, what does that mean ???

Sauve

Ah yeah, if you know you gave a relationship 100%, have no regrets, and they still want out, then it just wasn't meant to be and there's someone else out there that's better suited to you

PizzamanIRL

whupdedo wrote: »

I still **** to some of my exes, what does that mean ???

But do you **** over them ?

whupdedo

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

But do you **** over them ?

Only when they're asleep :pac:

MS.ing

whupdedo wrote: »

I still **** to some of my exes, what does that mean ???

youre a wanker

kingtut

Be down in the dumps for a few years weeks if it was a significant relationship, burn all of their belongings, transmit the nude photos all over the interwebz and trash their facebook.

Actually nah, I'd just hide away for a few days and then come out afresh, like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon

takamichinoku

Good deal of it is more down to the network you have around you for most people, isn't it?

Like, I've been fine once I've had a few people I can get in touch with and to get me doing other things. Even if I don't want to, the awareness they're there is a big help. If it weren't for almost every one of them emigrating, I'd be pretty ****ing carefree overall these days!
The first time a few years back I hadn't access to anything like that was really rough even though I didn't like her much at all when it all boiled down to it. Retrospectively that was a vital experience for developing how to approach relationships of all kinds more healthily.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

I still fantasize about beating up the fcuker who stole my first girlfriend.

Grifter cycling bastard.

So eh, no. I'm not.

Not even at the point where you can acknowledge he didn't steal her, she left?

whirlpool

I guess it's affected by a few things - like your self-esteem levels (how high or low your self-esteem was before you met the person and how high or low it continues to be), and how attached you were to the person.

There are people who are in relationships because they need it for their self-esteem. When those relationships end, it'll almost kill them, and they would be helped by getting to work on their self esteem a.s.a.p.

However, when it's a genuine case of being deeply in love with each other - i.e. where you would die for the person but your self-esteem was high before you met them - there's going to be a grieving process to go through when the relationship ends.

If it doesn't take you long to get over people then your self-esteem is probably very high and/or you weren't very attached to the person.

(*self esteem does not equal cockiness, arrogance or faux confidence. Self esteem equals being genuinely and completely at peace with who you are regardless of what goes on around you.)