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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Jaafa

I saw my fair share of these before I deactivated my account.

One of the worst came from an american 'friend'(?) of mine.

She said and I quote:
"Ughhh so stupid...I have to get a visa to go to south america! I mean seriously isn't this the UNITED sates! Ahhhhh....Worst state ever!"

She was promptly removed from my friends list.

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internet of cats

hope ur ok hun

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Muise...

shruikan2553 wrote: »

I wouldnt order a steak that was all fat either.

I wouldn't order a steak that posted a delusional picture of itself thinking it's all that and slagging the leaner steaks for being normal and not giving a fcuk.

EoghanIRL

Msg mi asap. Hav ta gt rid ov indi tikets .

Ffs . Why do so many people buy tickets they have no intention of using .

Paddy Cow

EoghanIRL wrote: »

Msg mi asap. Hav ta gt rid ov indi tikets .

Ffs . Why do so many people buy tickets they have no intention of using .

That's your issue with that mess of a post?

Yop on yop oF

Sorry I didn't go to college and get a degree instead I went wrong road and made miatakes I wont b prerend to me someone im not ye I got locked up nd **** but I am with my kids 24 7 once a month sum people bother wit dem I wont b black anymore u forget who gave birth to dem amd minding dem we're were u

Pawwed Rig

Yop on yop oF wrote: »

Sorry I didn't go to college and get a degree instead I went wrong road and made miatakes I wont b prerend to me someone im not ye I got locked up nd **** but I am with my kids 24 7 once a month sum people bother wit dem I wont b black anymore u forget who gave birth to dem amd minding dem we're were u

Aaaaagh. I get about half way through and then lose it at the '24 7 once a month' part. Have a headache now:mad:

TheGoldenAges

HAPPY YEAR AVERSARY!!!
so we survived a year and are still goin strong
despite our ups and downs ,but they were only bumps in the road!
over the year you finally caught on how to form a sentence without being all shy about it lol about time! jk but seriously the effort of dragging a sentence out of you but its okay cause I love ya!
This anniversary will be easy to remember considering were in lanzorote having a blast!
going to Rancho Texas seeing all the bird and seal shows! which the eagle nearly took my head off and going diving tomorrow!
over the year ive explored so many places and done so many things with you along side me
its funny because I remember texting you for ages at the beginning then without noticing I ...ACCIDENTLY...skipped you in the macDonalds que without even noticing you:-P hehe whoops!
but its okay cause you love me! tehe
so many memories within only a year and hopefully many more ill remember and cherish

love you so so much baba
like a lot lol
Happy year anniversary
♥♥♥♥♥♥

*Shudders*

Grayson

jonnyfingers wrote: »

This is from a friend of a friend. Don't know the guy but thought this popped up on my news feed today.

"I swear to jesus them foreigners are some ****y cheeky ****ing ****. In shopping Centre earlier picking up a few bits and gets to the till and the ****ing monster serving me (she was like that prisoner in the long green mile with the special powers and Tina Turners love child )Anyway she swipes laser card , nothing happens ,swipes again and puts in amount , nothing happenin. So in her wisdom and after her five minutes customer service training she says in her best ****ing broken english accent" ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVE MONEY IN DE ACCOUNT" ????,??
Now i ****ing erupted ....OF COURSE I ****ING DO ALTHOUGH IT MIGHT BE ALL GONE CONSIDERING SOMEONES TAXES HAVE TO PAY YOUR RENT ...YOUR FREE CHILDCARE....YOUR FREE PRAMS...YOUR CAR....YOUR FREE BUS TRAVEL AND ALL THE ****ING MONEY YOU SEND BACK TO YOUR FORTY SEVEN BROTHERS AND SISTERS..
Of she goes for a manager who comes back and tells her the Visa machines down....
Not even a ****in hint of irony in her voice as she turns to me and says " Can you pay in cash "?"

I'm impressed that they know what the word irony means.

rawn

"I'll tell ye some sad pathetic people out there.... Person... spreading rumours, writing up status's bout people who choose drugs over there kids, makes me craic up when that same person takes drugs with an unborn child in there belly, something I never did, my sister and her husband looks after my beautiful girl, and my daughter is doing fantastic because I took the bigger step as a mother to put my daughter's needs first and my sister and her hubby are doing an amazing job, as long as my angel is happy,clean, loved and given every bit of attention a child needs I'm thoroughly happy... No 1 can say jack **** because every mother,father, auntie,uncle or person that cares for a child has different circumstances.... My advice, don't judge coz mabee ye just haven't a clue.... HATE that someone has nothing better to do than judge when the person they should be looking at and judging is themselves... Didn't even want to write this thing up but if I hear 1 more rumour or bull**** status I'm gona craic up...keep your rumours to yourself and find something valuable to do with your life... Sad ****...brain dead stupid c#nt anything you have to say, say it to my face instead of writing crap on facebook...really is life DAT **** DAT all u can do is judge....wtf"

The ironing is delicious.

implausible

rawn wrote: »

makes me craic up

Is that when the craic makes you crack up?

milltown

rawn wrote: »

"I'll tell ye some sad pathetic people out there.... Person... spreading rumours, writing up status's bout people who choose drugs over there kids, makes me craic up when that same person takes drugs with an unborn child in there belly, something I never did, my sister and her husband looks after my beautiful girl, and my daughter is doing fantastic because I took the bigger step as a mother to put my daughter's needs first and my sister and her hubby are doing an amazing job, as long as my angel is happy,clean, loved and given every bit of attention a child needs I'm thoroughly happy... No 1 can say jack **** because every mother,father, auntie,uncle or person that cares for a child has different circumstances.... My advice, don't judge coz mabee ye just haven't a clue.... HATE that someone has nothing better to do than judge when the person they should be looking at and judging is themselves... Didn't even want to write this thing up but if I hear 1 more rumour or bull**** status I'm gona craic up...keep your rumours to yourself and find something valuable to do with your life... Sad ****...brain dead stupid c#nt anything you have to say, say it to my face instead of writing crap on facebook...really is life DAT **** DAT all u can do is judge....wtf"

The ironing is delicious.

Eh... does that basically say "I'm a better mother than the rest of you because I won't stop getting ****ed up, so instead I'll get somebody with a bit of cop on to raise my child"
*pats self on back?

Wilberto

milltown wrote: »

Eh... does that basically say "I'm a better mother than the rest of you because I won't stop getting ****ed up, so instead I'll get somebody with a bit of cop on to raise my child"
*pats self on back?

Essentially, yes. The classic model parent.

sw33t_r3v3ng3

Doctor who quotes. Please hand me a doctor who figure so i can promptly shuv it up yer hole.

Taylor365

rawn wrote: »

"I'll tell ye some sad pathetic people out there.... Person... spreading rumours, writing up status's bout people who choose drugs over there kids, makes me craic up when that same person takes drugs with an unborn child in there belly, something I never did, my sister and her husband looks after my beautiful girl, and my daughter is doing fantastic because I took the bigger step as a mother to put my daughter's needs first and my sister and her hubby are doing an amazing job, as long as my angel is happy,clean, loved and given every bit of attention a child needs I'm thoroughly happy... No 1 can say jack **** because every mother,father, auntie,uncle or person that cares for a child has different circumstances.... My advice, don't judge coz mabee ye just haven't a clue.... HATE that someone has nothing better to do than judge when the person they should be looking at and judging is themselves... Didn't even want to write this thing up but if I hear 1 more rumour or bull**** status I'm gona craic up...keep your rumours to yourself and find something valuable to do with your life... Sad ****...brain dead stupid c#nt anything you have to say, say it to my face instead of writing crap on facebook...really is life DAT **** DAT all u can do is judge....wtf"

The ironing is delicious.

......

Cocaine's a helluva drug! :pac:

[Deleted User]

My (chillds name) is a gas child we went 2 Kilkee 4a spin nd der was aloada young1s wlkn dwn d road outta nowhr (childs name) shouts out d window WHORES lol i cnt bring him nowhr luv him nd his daddy millions xXxXx

Al_Coholic

DoubleD wrote: »

My (chillds name) is a gas child we went 2 Kilkee 4a spin nd der was aloada young1s wlkn dwn d road outta nowhr (childs name) shouts out d window WHORES lol i cnt bring him nowhr luv him nd his daddy millions xXxXx

a wee little angle

sw33t_r3v3ng3

DoubleD wrote: »

My (chillds name) is a gas child we went 2 Kilkee 4a spin nd der was aloada young1s wlkn dwn d road outta nowhr (childs name) shouts out d window WHORES lol i cnt bring him nowhr luv him nd his daddy millions xXxXx

Im sorry but your spelling hurts my brain :')

Pherekydes

Al_Coholic wrote: »

a wee little angle

How do you know she's English?

skirtgirl

"sum1 else man an al clever u tramp and mijet can hav u ya dirty slaper hope he woman slaps the head off ya and she no .s if not she a dope badie mihej"

Took me a while to translate but here it goes.
"Some one else's man and all. Clever. You tramp, and midget can have you, you dirty slapper, hope his woman slaps the head of you and she knows. If not she is a dope. Baldie midget"

Badie mihej cheated with ops girlfriend just to clarify.

29 comments ensue most from badie mihej. The lady in question has put up a counter rant stating that the upcoming DNA test will prove op is the father. Her spelling and grammar is marginally better.

thesandeman

So it's a small bald guy?
That's me in the clear again so.
Phew!!

pc7

skirtgirl wrote: »

29 comments ensue most from badie mihej. The lady in question has put up a counter rant stating that the upcoming DNA test will prove op is the father. Her spelling and grammar is marginally better.

Please post some of them! This is what this thread is made of. I'm so amazed at the different spellings of midget, I thought it was a new fancy name of someone. I was thinking Skirtgirl will need to blank out the persons name.

EoghanIRL

A certain scumbag on Facebook took a test online and thought he was then part of the British army . Since then he actually has became a recruit in England . I saw this post yesterday .

"waiting to go on parade in memory of world war 2 100 year day"

Generic Dreadhead

El Weirdo wrote: »

What if you're recently widowed and gagging for the ride?

I laughed way to hard at this :pac::pac::pac:

skirtgirl

"sum1 else man an al clever u tramp and mijet can hav u ya dirty slaper hope he woman slaps the head off ya and she no .s if not she a dope badie mihej"

Comments from badie mihej are as follows

"She wasent with someone else's fella. He s single. And if he s such a big man let him go say it to his face. See how that goes. Op is the one that's been mailing women for months asking them can he f*ck them and what the need is a bit of his d*ck Telling them. They know the want. And he said it to a girl when she was going out with a supposed to be mate of his. Looked after him. At that's how he threats his mates. Asking there women to f*ck him. And it's not just women. There was a few girls way to young for him. If there family's new. He d know all about it. Now iv a copy of what he said to my girlfriend at the time. Watch this space. Ye l see for yer selfs what kind of dirt bag Op really is. U got caught. Now handle it or will I tell a few more home truths. U decide d*ckhead."

Op replies
"wher u now fool il not u out"

Badie mihej replies
"Not me out u mean knock me out. Go back to school. Little apples ha ha it's not a women your bullying now"

It continues on this vein for a good while.

[Deleted User]

I only ever have to consult a page or two for a gem like this :

12hour humaniteerean seasefire in gaza, hopefully it all stops, as a cuntry we realy dont no how luky we ar, poor familys and children hav nowere to go, just take a little tink and imajin it was us, its horribel

Herb Powell

Fieldog wrote: »

I only ever have to consult a page or two for a gem like this :

12hour humaniteerean seasefire in gaza, hopefully it all stops, as a cuntry we realy dont no how luky we ar, poor familys and children hav nowere to go, just take a little tink and imajin it was us, its horribel

In fairness as bad as it looks, the actual message is not a stupid one.

Generic Dreadhead

People of Boards.ie, thank you for this thread. It's just too funny. :pac::pac::pac::pac:

kunst nugget

Fieldog wrote: »

I only ever have to consult a page or two for a gem like this :

12hour humaniteerean seasefire in gaza, hopefully it all stops, as a cuntry we realy dont no how luky we ar, poor familys and children hav nowere to go, just take a little tink and imajin it was us, its horribel

I'm trying to figure out what's the bigger tragedy in that post…

Muise...

Herb Powell wrote: »

In fairness as bad as it looks, the actual message is not a stupid one.

Seconded. That status has more than enough heart to cancel out the spelling.

[Deleted User]

Muise... wrote: »

Seconded. That status has more than enough heart to cancel out the spelling.

He is a good lad in all honesty, his spelling may not be but his posts tend to mean well... (he is a military man actually)

Do they not teach you how to spell in the Irish army?

ivytwine

Fieldog wrote: »

He is a good lad in all honesty, his spelling may not be but his posts tend to mean well... (he is a military man actually)

Do they not teach you how to spell in the Irish army?

What good is spelling when you've got a gun?!! :P