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Younger man, older woman (in general)

Joya

Hi all,

First of all, I have to admit I am confused on the matter.

In the last two, three years I have been often approached by younger man who would express they interest in me (not to say like admiration and desire) either be it for the short fling (e.g. reel me into bed) or for a long term relationship.

And it is making me genuinely confused. I would believe that guys in their late twenties/early thirties would be really and truly interested in girls in their early twenties, for example.

I mean there are so many beautiful sexy and gorgeous girls of that age just walking around the city so relationship with me? Why? I just don't get it.

I tried to ask myself am I always using my age just as a defending mechanism. These guys, and you know some of them are my friends for couple of years now, are in age range from 25 to 33.. good looking.. and they all say that age means nothing, it is just a number, but I wonder is it..

Well, I have to admit that I was in a 4 year relationship with 10 years younger guy that I ended a year ago. It took him long time to persuade me to give it a try but he was persistent and we were together eventually, 6 months after we met. I had my doubts of course, as I was never attracted to younger man before. However I ended it because yes, maturity is the issue.

Anyway, not sure my question is clear but I already said i am confused : ). Is there something wrong with these guys? Is there something wrong with me?

So just wanted to ask, do you have any thoughts on the matter, and thanks a lot .

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Buzz Killington the third

Joya wrote: »

yes, it could be true, it si a common knowledge that male are "simpler" than woman

In that we mean what we say? Unlike women who need a f*cking mind reader of a boyfriend/husband!

Joya

Buzz Killington the third wrote: »

In that we mean what we say? Unlike women who need a f*cking mind reader of a boyfriend/husband!

didn't mean to offend, i actually admire those qualities and i think it is a big quality in men..

Mr. CooL ICE

If in doubt, get the ride.

Probably not the advice you need, but I'm a man and simple.

[Deleted User]

Joya wrote: »

that i could be hurt?? :d)) i mean i can see that possibility and I do admit I am an emotional being, i cannot just u know, without having a connection etc... i never could really cut emotions from the other involvement if you know what i mean..

Fair enough, I'm the same, was just trying to parrot the popular/liberated line. :P If you don't think it's a good idea then you should probably stick with that.

but these "younger generations" perhaps they were and I mean they WERE, brought up differently and being exposed to all kinds of stuff (i hope i am not too generalizing now) so may have a different views on being together with someone and a meaning of it..

i'd still be thinking, even it is tempting though ...

Meh, there's still plenty who don't go in for the casual stuff. The ones who do just happen to be a lot louder about it. :P Though it is annoying being the kind of person who wants to get to know someone really well first, means that any chances there are can easily be missed. :P

_Redzer_

Some people are just attracted to older.

I'm not very attracted to lads my own age and would never feck around with any younger because it doesn't appeal to me.

Mid 20s to early 30s is my range, which isn't exactly the norm for a guy who's 20.

Corkgirl210

Age is but a number... its their emotional age you need to look at!
Ive always ended up with men a few years younger than me for some strange reason (well part from one that was 10+ years older).. didnt matter one bit... never even thought of it tbh.. its the person not their qualifications (age, height etc.)..

Look for similarities rather than differences!

Joya

Deleted User wrote: »

Fair enough, I'm the same, was just trying to parrot the popular/liberated line. :P

believe it or not i do consider myself quite liberal

Meh, there's still plenty who don't go in for the casual stuff. The ones who do just happen to be a lot louder about it. :P Though it is annoying being the kind of person who wants to get to know someone really well first, means that any chances there are can easily be missed. :P

i know.. i do also wonder if i am missing cause being too cautious...

... tring to understand it really before go for anything...

Rayanne2010 wrote: »

Look for similarities rather than differences!

thats a good advice, thanks

[Deleted User]

Joya wrote: »

believe it or not i do consider myself quite liberal

"Liberated" rather than liberal. It's far too easy to get called a prude these days. :P

i know.. i do also wonder if i am missing cause being too cautious... ... tring to understand it really before go for anything...

Well you are missing out on something, whether it's something you want or not is something only you can figure out.

Joya

Deleted User wrote: »

"Liberated" rather than liberal. It's far too easy to get called a prude these days. :P

okay, liberated it is :d), thanks

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

You're a MILF. Today's younger men love MILFs. Blame Stifler's mom

The_Captain

OP is wrecked and all these posts are lies, NAP

Sulla Felix

Plenty of men would screw a hole in the ground so I wouldn't be either to apprehensive or flattered by the attention tbh. No ulterior motive.

OldNotWIse

Age (or lack thereof) is not the be all and end all. Older women tend to be more confident and comfortable in their looks and maybe aren't willing to blindly follow trends just to be cool. I mean, you see one 20 year old in too short shorts who really should know better you've seen them all.

I'm 31 and I am more attractive now than I ever was in my twenties.

Edit: I'm actally 30, dont know how I thought I was 31 lol

suicide_circus

Sorry OP you are fetish material now

Like those guys who desire 40 stone women or midgets

Joya

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

You're a MILF. Today's younger men love MILFs. Blame Stifler's mom

im not a mother, wish i am though but didn't happen to me in this lifetime, however believe its a different story

)

The_Captain wrote: »

OP is wrecked and all these posts are lies, NAP

hahah, yea, must be, if you would have a e.g. skype i could prove you wrong, but really lets not turn this topic into this please, thanks.

(what NAP stands for? :unsure: )

suicide_circus wrote: »

Sorry OP you are fetish material now
Like those guys who desire 40 stone women or midgets

aw i really hoped not to come to this.
reason i posted the thread is to get some real answers from younger people (specially male obviously) in order to understand, see behind it better. i do appreciate the thought of women on the subject as well, to see if i am the only one thinking this way or it is just normal..

i do appreciate the honesty lots, and it is all helpful and thanks to all for that.
i thought to have a nice conversation on for and against etc.. so hope it will continue that way

i admit i am not generation born in 90's but before that and i assume it also may be a generational thing..

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I'm 31 and I am more attractive now than I ever was in my twenties.
Edit: I'm actally 30, dont know how I thought I was 31 lol

yes i understand you in this, perhaps because i have many lessons behind me i feel better in my skin now then when i was 18. if you'd compare my photographs from when i was a teenager and now, i'm sure you'd find i wasn't feeling that well then..

Sulla Felix wrote: »

Plenty of men would screw a hole in the ground so I wouldn't be either to apprehensive or flattered by the attention tbh. No ulterior motive.

yea i'm afraid this is truth as well..

Joya

Joya wrote: »

i admit i am not generation born in 90's but before that and i assume it also may be a generational thing..

also maybe not just generational but cultural as well... its not a secret i am not born irish : )..(only proud to became one

)

Calibos

Combine maturity, confidence, easier going, less mind games, less highly strung and/or emotional, reasonable expectations etc etc with drop dead good looks and you might very well be highly desirable to a younger man in many more ways than one

I ran into a girl from my past a few months ago after 15 years. She would be 35/36 now. She was gorgeous back then and if anything she is even more beautiful now. I was literally rendered speechless. Such quality genetics in evidence. She was always a lovely girl too and if I'm honest my first thoughts on running into her again was, jaysus, I want to make babies with you....no, no thats not a euphemism for sex, I literally do want to make babies with you!! First time I ever felt male broodiness!! Before I could grow a pair she was gone.

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

Joya wrote: »

im not a mother, wish i am though but didn't happen to me in this lifetime, however believe its a different story

Makes no difference to the MILF hunter. You're in MILF age territory now and that's what drives them crazy.

Embrace your inner Milf and have fun. It's your only choice now. Trying to fight it is futile. They mean to have you and they will have you.

dd972

When you're into older women but the graveyards the only option it gets less fun...

Wibbs

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

I'm in my late 20s and there are plenty of women in their late 30s that I definitely would. Nothing strange about that in my opinion. Of course, I want kids at some point, so in reality I wouldn't start a relationship with an older woman, but plenty of people aren't interested in kids.

This pretty much. If two people are otherwise compatible age is only really any issue if starting a family/fertility issues come into play.

Where this might become an issue is over time if a full on serious relationship started between say a 30 year old bloke and a 40 year old woman. At 30 he as a guy may not have kids on the horizon, but he might have that idea at 35, by which time the window has passed. I've known a few guys who were resistant to the idea of kids at 30 but were very on for them a few years later, even a decade later. Men don't have a biological clock. Or rather what one exists is a lot slower a fall off in fertility(if they're healthy). They have at least a decade in hand(hell I have a second cousin who had his first child at 59). They definitely don't think of a clock ticking to nearly the same degree as many women may.

Wibbs

Calibos wrote: »

Combine maturity, confidence, easier going, less mind games, less highly strung and/or emotional, reasonable expectations etc etc with drop dead good looks and you might very well be highly desirable to a younger man in many more ways than one

True dat. Generally there's a lot less head melting going on. Though that can be a tad unfair to younger women too. I've met enough head melters in their 30's and enough non head melters in their 20's. Depends entirely on the person. Age isn't that great a guide to maturity IMHO and IME, oft times people just get better at hiding their neurosis's with age. Ditto for men, if not more so and I've found men as they age tend to get more set in their ways.

She was gorgeous back then and if anything she is even more beautiful now. I was literally rendered speechless. Such quality genetics in evidence.

It is too.

Physical beauty is very much a genetics and fertility advert. As is how well they weather the years. Some people age more slowly than others and that again is showing an underlying genetic fitness*. No wonder you wanted to have babies with her.

*read an interesting bit of research that seemed to show that someone who looked younger for their age also had the potential disease and death outcomes of someone who was younger, whereas those who looked older for their age mirrored the older groups in such outcomes. And this held even when lifestyle factors like diet and smoking and exercise was accounted for.

alleystar

BikeQueery wrote: »

I would take a woman over a girl every time. Guys like maturity and experience too. Young girls are all kind of the same and a bit vacuous. There's a world of difference.
You're obviously attractive, I would say if you like one of these guys then there's no harm in having a fling or something. But be clear about what you want.
As a general rule, if someone is into you and you don't reciprocate it's best not to lead them on in case feelings develop.

Nice generalisation.

BikeQueery

alleystar wrote: »

Nice generalisation.

And true.

Joya

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

Makes no difference to the MILF hunter. You're in MILF age territory now and that's what drives them crazy.

Embrace your inner Milf and have fun. It's your only choice now. Trying to fight it is futile. They mean to have you and they will have you.

so was thinking about your statement for a while and , is it that perhaps the age difference and/or being a mother (to someone elses child i guess unfortunately) - which both makes "us" "unavailable" - is a thing that makes it actually "attractive"..?

not sure im on right path of thought but something triggered it from your post

Teyla Emmagan

I find this too. I have a bizarre amount of young fellas hitting on me online. I am the same age as the OP and I think it's hilarious. I could have given birth to half of them. And loads of them are all up for the whole relationship thing - all 'age is just a number, you should give me a shot'. They're more open minded than I am TBH. I just don't think I've find someone that age stimulating enough. Of course I could be doing them an awful disservice!

Ken Shamrock

^^^ Rachel Luttrel is actually a few years older than the op

whiskeyman

Calibos wrote: »

easier going, less mind games, less highly strung and/or emotional,

Funny you say that, but one of my mates avoids women his own age or older because of the opposite.
He's in his early 30s, and any dates he went on with woman this age (*generalisation alert!*) tend to be very skeptical of his good manners, and wondering what he's up to - 'he just want's to get into my knickers and then he'll be gone'!
He puts it down to the fact that many of them have come out of bad relationships and their trust in men is hit hard.
He's dating someone in their 20s now and finds them much easier going, better craic and appreciative of his gentlemanly conduct.

Teyla Emmagan

Bob.Carcass wrote: »

^^^ Rachel Luttrel is actually a few years older than the op

And me! Feck ya :pac:

Joya

whiskeyman wrote: »

Funny you say that, but one of my mates avoids women his own age or older because of the opposite.
He's in his early 30s, and any dates he went on with woman this age (*generalisation alert!*) tend to be very skeptical of his good manners, and wondering what he's up to - 'he just want's to get into my knickers and then he'll be gone'!
He puts it down to the fact that many of them have come out of bad relationships and their trust in men is hit hard.
He's dating someone in their 20s now and finds them much easier going, better craic and appreciative of his gentlemanly conduct.

I hear you and i can concur that i also have that thing, my last relationship with this younger guy didn't end very well due to some psychological issues he had, but nevertheless i am now carrying perhaps the fear of being with younger guys!
of course that in my "rational" i must know that not all are the same (but it does not change it seems like..)

I Heart Internet

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I find this too. I have a bizarre amount of young fellas hitting on me online. I am the same age as the OP and I think it's hilarious. I could have given birth to half of them. And loads of them are all up for the whole relationship thing - all 'age is just a number, you should give me a shot'. They're more open minded than I am TBH. I just don't think I've find someone that age stimulating enough. Of course I could be doing them an awful disservice!

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