Daveysil15 wrote: » Well its certainly not the norm anyway. Although bars and clubs are not exactly great places either. It's funny how a lot of people will say to a single person, "You need to get out more" yet strangely enough I don't know any couples that have met in a bar or club. I've never met anyone that way either. It nearly always seems to be through work or through friends. I know a few single people that "go out" regularly but never meet anyone new. It got me thinking too, is it worth your while doing things you don't like in order to improve your chances of meeting someone? I was never a big fan of the drinking culture here in Ireland, but I often forced myself to go out as I didn't see many other options to meet women at the time. Whereas now I just do the things that I enjoy and have met some great people through new hobbies. Plus if you're in a situation where you're not having any fun then you're probably not going to be in the right frame of mind. I've heard stories of guys taking up Salsa dancing for example, even though they have absolutely no interest in it, but do it anyway because there'd be plenty of women there. I suppose it would be better to meet someone through similar interests, but then again its all to easy to get stuck in your comfort zone.
Daveysil15 wrote: » Having kids is not something I really think about. That may change in the future if I meet someone though. Sometimes I'll see a nice quite kid and think, "Ahh she's/he's lovely." I'd like to have a kid someday. But then I see a lot of other kids and think, "Sweet jesus no"
Heatmachine1 wrote: » Reading some of the horror stories I think I found a diamond in the rough. married a few years and I would not change ant of it as its all pros luckily. she gives me all the time I want to pursue hobbies,go out if I want and just kick back round the house on my days off,I do the same for her. I actually miss her hwaps when away with woek as I feel like I get loads if freedom in our marriage. Before I was single and not looking for a good woman,luckily I landed one somehow. I listen to some lads at work who dont get the freedom and the question comes to me I just shrug and say nope never have those issues,feel guilty a bit. Obv we have issues sometimes as do lots of couples but 99% its easy street.
Dial Hard wrote: » Any of the couples I know who are having trouble should never have gotten married in the first place.
Wibbs wrote: » +1000 and ditto. There were always warning signs, some of which were beyond glaring.
Dial Hard wrote: » I honestly don't think your situation is as rare as this thread would have you believe. There are absolutely loads of happily married men out there. Like with many things online, you hear a lot more horror stories than you do good ones.
Dial Hard wrote: » Also, I do wonder how many couples who are miserable in their marriage had glaringly obvious issues before the wedding, but went through with it anyway? Any of the couples I know who are having trouble should never have gotten married in the first place.
Onthe3rdDay wrote: » However at the same time Rory the Golfer called off his Wedding in a sensible manner because it's not what he wanted and he's been attacked in the press for the last few weeks. He's a rotter because he was thinking about his long term happiness.
That does appear to be an Irish thing. The wedding will solve the problems we have, the new house will solve the problems we have, a Baby will solve the problems we have, Okay it was a boy, a baby Girl will solve the problems we have. 5 years down the line and you can see the mess some people sleepwalk into.
Wibbs wrote: » I would say that's pretty universal to some degree. That said we do seem to have bought into the American model more than the rest of Europe has. IME the French, unless major social climbers tend to be a lot less OTT about all this, the Spanish the same. The big engagement ring, the stag and hen nights the big razzmatazz wedding itself, the flashy honeymoon went batcrap crazy during the boom in Ireland. I knew a guy who flashed nearly 80 grand on his daughters wedding and honeymoon. Flew guests to Italy and all that sorta thing. Madness. Even madder considering he was a plumber. I know they can charge like wounded rhinos but still. It all got a little bit sillier than usual. Even today you still have those aiming at the wedding and forgetting about the marriage. It's generally more a woman thing to do, or at least they take the more active engagement with the whole thing. The guys tend to be in a very passive in the background way.
Wibbs wrote: » There was a time a man could be sued for breaking off an engagement. George Best the footballist was sued for it back in the 1960's.
Onthe3rdDay wrote: » In the UK i've been to plenty of Weddings which were cheap and to the point. Here almost every wedding is big and when it's not it's the talk of the town. There's a real pressure to have the big wedding (mostly on women to be fair).
LordNorbury wrote: » I think that is a throwback to the Celtic Tiger days,
Pawwed Rig wrote: » Not too sure about that. The format of weddings hasn't really changed that much in the last 30 years at least. Also it is impossible to tell the difference between a 10K wedding and a 30K wedding alot of the time unless you are really concerned with the fine details.
ElecKtrA wrote: » Couldn't agree with this post more! Meeting people through mutual interests/groups/hobbies and perhaps through friends is probably the better approach, if you are looking for someone who is like-minded and possibly have that ''click'' with Online dating has it's perks but also it's disadvantages! My advice...rule out nothing and go with the flow Sometimes single life is just the easy option...but there comes a time when you question whether or not you want to remain a spinster or bachelor ...who really wants to remain alone when they are old...that's what it really comes down to, IMHO.
ElecKtrA wrote: » Couldn't agree with this post more! I think we 'singletons' are coming to accept that there are other ways and means of meeting other singles rather than reverting to the pub/club on a Friday/Saturday night. I go out regularly just to have fun and meet up with my friends and enjoy the night out. I obviously don't rule out that I may meet a guy that actually has a genuine interest in me as a person and isn't just out for the ''ride'' :rolleyes:. However, from my perspective it's almost impossible to come across a real genuine guy who isn't full of crap and stuck up his own a*se! ...maybe I just attract the wrong type of guys! ..or perhaps they act this way after a few drinks and want to show off in front of their mates! :rolleyes: Meeting people through mutual interests/groups/hobbies and perhaps through friends is probably the better approach, if you are looking for someone who is like-minded and possibly have that ''click'' with Online dating has it's perks but also it's disadvantages! My advice...rule out nothing and go with the flow Sometimes single life is just the easy option...but there comes a time when you question whether or not you want to remain a spinster or bachelor ...who really wants to remain alone when they are old...that's what it really comes down to, IMHO.
Daveysil15 wrote: » TBH I think its that mentality that makes it very difficult to meet people on a night out. I'm not having a go at you in particular, but its one thing I really hate about the Irish nightlife. That whole defensiveness thing. They were talking about this on the radio the other day and one guy described Ireland as having a bad case of "Larry Murphy Syndrome" whereby its almost predatory to approach women on a night out.
Wibbs wrote: » Now anyone can go through my posts on this on Boards and they will see I do NOT go along with some of the daftness that says "Irish women are X(usually a derogatory X with it)". However I would agree with D's take regarding defensiveness. I've been on the lash in a fair few countries and cultures in my time and I'm still the same gobshíte everywhere, but while you may encounter defensiveness anywhere, it does seem a lot more marked here. And it is much harder to approach a woman here. The UK is similar IME. Before any potential knicker bunching occurs, I am NOT blaming women for this. It's more complex and layered. IMHO mostly it's down to the heavy drinking culture and too many men(and women) consuming a skinful and that increases aggression and pushy behaviour and the response to same, so people get defensive because of their past experiences of that. It's basically safer and less hassle to be a "bitch". If your experience as a woman boils down to on an average night nine twats approach you with tired lines, then the tenth decent skin who approaches is gonna be rated on the previous. It becomes an arms race of twattery. That can even translate into non drink fueled scenarios. The defensiveness holds over from night time experiences. In less drink fueled cultures people are less defensive overall and women are less likely to have a default "Fúckoffyoutwat(tm)" mode. Oh it can still happen, but it's less likely because of the different environment in play.
Daveysil15 wrote: » Yep its more to do with the drinking culture, and both genders are at fault. And if women are getting approached by a lot of twats then its understandable that they'd have that defense mechanism. However it does make it difficult then for the daycent chap who just wants to meet someone.
Cold Vapour wrote: » Can you tell me what a genuine guy is?
NSAman wrote: » Normally (from what I have gleaned in my experience) a genuine guy, is the one who is quieter, doesn't drive the BMW, doesn't have the international jet-set lifestyle, is not on the social circuit, doesn't live off Mummy or Daddy or have a lot of money... you know the one who girls look at and think... nah!!!.
leahyl wrote: » Generalisation much! Sounds like the ideal guy to me
NSAman wrote: » Normally (from what I have gleaned in my experience) a genuine guy, is the one who is quieter, doesn't drive the BMW, doesn't have the international jet-set lifestyle, is not on the social circuit, doesn't live off Mummy or Daddy or have a lot of money... you know the one who girls look at and think... nah!!!.;)
NSAman wrote: » Thankfully, i have the BMW (and others) I am in the social circle and have a damned good job, amazing how they flock to you..;)
Potatoeman wrote: » I blame pushie guys for some of it though pubs/clubs are for socialising. Defensiveness creates an uncomfortable atmosphere. I usually chat to whoever else is queuing for the bar but I have been blanked by women from time to time. Its kind of presumptuous to assume that anyone that approaches you is out to seduce you.
