Sulla Felix wrote: » My fathers funeral, group of his oldest best friends assigned to do the carry (my brothers and cousins did it from church to hearse). So, whatever way they manage it we all hear the funeral director furiously whispering "no, no, you've got it backwards, get it turned around!" to which the wisecrack Ken replies "No, we've got it right, we're heading back to the pub!" that we'd passed on the way. Few hundred people roaring laughing. Dad would have loved it. :pac:
ohohseven wrote: » A couple of years ago my grandfather died so my family had the " brilliant" idea of having my newborn cousins christening on the same day as my grandfather's funeral. It was the same priest , same mass. However the quite elderly priest muddled up the sacraments and effectively buried my cousin and christened my grandfather.
ballsymchugh wrote: » this thread brings home how the irish people are so much better at dealing with death than where i am in the UK. over here it's a stiff upper lip thing, you wait a couple of weeks for your slot at the crematorium and then it's done in a few minutes. all very sterile. anyway, at a funeral of a relatively young neighbour a few years ago, an older neighbour was sympathising with the family saying how shocking it was. the poor lad died from electrocution!
Sir Arthur Daley wrote: » One mass where a funeral and baptism happened it did of course :rolleyes:
ohohseven wrote: » No I made it up so everyone would want to be my friend and by me pretty things. It's a thread about funny funeral stories so I had my input, so kindly bugger off
Sir Arthur Daley wrote: » Join facebook if you want to make friends, you will get a better result in accumulating friends and your facebook friends believing it. :pac:
ohohseven wrote: » I am on facebook and I don't care if you believe it or not. Now if you don't mind Vicarius filii dei go bother someone else.
freshpopcorn wrote: » A couple of years ago when my grandmother was alive. She went to a 'friends' funeral, in the graveyard she was paying respects to the family. She asked one woman ''How your mother?'' The woman replied ''She's just being buried there''. Do you have any funny funeral moments?
The Master wrote: » when are you when heat legend dies was sat at home drinking brain fluid when fred ring 'heat is die' 'Noooooooooo'
RoadhouseBlues wrote: » Years ago at my fathers funeral. You can imagine its a horrible time and your head is all over the place. Near the end when people were coming up shaking hands, this old man came over. To this day I don't know who he was, and I've asked the family and they don't know either. But he had the biggest nose I have ever seen in my life. When he leaned forward to shake hands, I had to lean back in case it hit me. I didn't laugh, but I know if I had to look around at the rest of them I would have been in convulsions. Can you imagine that. Someone I know was at another funeral, and the person in front of them shook hands with one of the family. Instead of saying, "Sorry for your troubles*, they said "Congratulations"
Sir Arthur Daley wrote: » Ok, can we be facebook friends at least?
TGJD wrote: » At my grandmother's funeral a couple of years ago my extended family and I were standing in the funeral parlour shaking hands with sympathisers as you do. It had been a long night and toward the end one of my cousins had become confused in the monotonous routine and instead of the usual thank you for coming response to the usual sorry for your loss, he was greeting people with " I'm sorry" My brother and I were standing near him trying not to laugh. It brightened up a sad day a bit anyway.
Samhain wrote: » In the West, we have the "Death notices" on local radio. My father was listening and a notice was read for out for an old friend of his called Pat Dixon. He decided to go and pay his respects. He sympathised with the mourners and made his way back down the church to stand at the back in true ould man style. As the funeral was proceeding out of the church he was tapped on the shoulder, turned around and was met face to face with Pat Dixon. He nearly had a heart attack with the shock of seeing a dead man standing in front of him. It turned out the Pat Dixon he thought was in the coffin, was attending the funeral of a different man called Pat Dixon who lived in the same town. After the initial shock, he told Pat of his gaffe and the two of them had to go out to the side of the church to break down in hysterics!
whirlpool wrote: » Towards the end of my grandad's funeral, the church's fire alarm started going off. Things got awkward. Nobody budged though, some of us started to giggle uncontrollably (me included.) After a few minutes the alarm stopped. Within thirty seconds a car alarm started going off in the car park. That took us through to the end of the mass. Ah ye had to be there! :pac:
ardle1 wrote: » I was kinda laughing at your post, but when I read the last bit I bursted
My son was 3 at the time of his Mam's funeral and in my arms, being 3 he was fascinated by the pageantry of “the mass”. He was asking questions to beat the band, and I’m a firm believer in being as honest and open as I can be with him (always age appropriately, of course!)- so I was doing my best to answer him. I explained the priest and mass to Josh, along the lines of; ‘Well some people feel like they need to gather together to celebrate what they believe and to give thanks to their God, and often the priest leads them in prayer’. ‘Which I think is a bit silly, really’, I told him, ‘Because if God is everywhere surely you can talk to him wherever ya like and you don't someone in the middle to place the call' Next up came Communion. How do you explain transubstantiation and all the associated mumbo jumbo to a child?! Well I gave it a stab! I told my son that the priest, and Catholics in general, believe that during the Eucharist the bread and wine are miraculously transformed into the actual real body and blood of a bloke called Jesus…… He looks at me while trying to make sense of this new information, and asks the incisive question. ‘Like a magic trick, Dad?’ Smiling to myself at his common sense view of the ritual,I answered, ‘Yes, monkey! Just like a magic trick’. Later, as the mass ended and the priest was returning his paraphernalia to the sacristy, he turned to me and said ‘Dad, I don’t want to come here anymore!’ Knowing that I never wanted to see the inside of that church again; knowing that it was another step towards burying his Mam and saying goodbye to what was our little family’s planned future, I wasn’t surprised by our son’s firm statement. But also, knowing that he was as confused and scared as I was, and that he clearly needed answers and surety that was my job to provide to him… I asked, ‘Why?’ He looked up at me with an unexpected bright smile and said ‘Because that’s the stupidest magic show I have ever seen!!’ I won’t lie, it was the most inopportune moment I’ve ever chosen to laugh in my entire life but I did. And in that laugh, I was joined by my family and friends who’d heard the little exchange. I don’t regret it at all, in fact I’m glad it happened and I’m even happier that those who heard it, shared it!
