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Child Item

Bull**** stories you heard as a kid

cloud493

This thread is dedicated to the innumerable, utter bull****, stories we were all told as children, either by adults or by other kids.

Lies, fibs, tall tales and urban myths: what was the stupidest thing you were ever told?

A lad in my school swore blind you weren't allowed to re-fill a mineral water bottle with tap water. He said you'd get arrested. He was utterly convinced.
Or the one where someone said that the reason a McDonalds burger has the weird gherkin on it, is cos if it wasn't it had so much sugar it'd have to be considered a pudding.

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Maphisto

syklops wrote: »

Well a lot of people on boards were brought up catholic, taught in catholic schools, had catholic doctrine forced down their necks and when they became adults they did away with the whole thing. The topic is things that was told to you that turned out to be boll*x. Religion in various forms fits the bill. Quit yet moaning and go have a bit of a pray. I'm sure you will feel better.

I think he was talking about the predictability and timing of the responses rather than mounting some sort of ecumenical riposte.

OP -19:22
First Reply 19:22
2nd 19:23

Buzz Killington the third

"Carrots make you see better in the dark..."

Well played mum, well played!

Maphisto

Buzz Killington the third wrote: »

"Carrots make you see better in the dark..."

Not just Mum

An urban legend states that eating large quantities of carrots will allow one to see in the dark. This myth developed from stories about British gunners in World War II, who were able to shoot down German planes at night. The rumour arose during the Battle of Britain when the RAF circulated a story about their pilots' carrot consumption in an attempt to cover up the discovery and effective use of radar technologies in engaging enemy planes,

Duggy747

I was told not to stand too close to the TV or else I'd get cancer because that's how the father from The Little House On The Prairie died.

Or that I'd get square eyes, go blind, get cancer and die like the man from The Incredible Hulk TV show.

LizzieJones

Sitting on the cold ground will give you a kidney/bladder infection the first time I got a bladder infection.

So not true but thanks anyway Mom.

razorblunt

dubscottie wrote: »

Being from Scotland, we were always told that the trains went up and down over the top of this.. 2 miles from my home..

http://www.thomashogben.co.uk/welcome/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Forth-Rail-Bridge-WEB-1-640x360.jpg

Bout 3 when I worked out it was bollox! When we had hard boiled eggs we got asked " Do you want solders or Forth Bridges"!!

Toast cut into Forth Bridge shapes would be awesome!
Dinnae fash yirsel an' fill yer boots!

harry Bailey esq

i remember when those slimfast shakes were introduced,the story doing the rounds at the time was that they contained tiny maggots that ate the fat off your body.

LizzieJones

Buzz Killington the third wrote: »

"Carrots make you see better in the dark..."

Well played mum, well played!

She probably heard that one from the UK government during WWII.

Carrots help you see better is a myth created during the WWII, because the pilots of the British RAF had radar and the Germans not, then a known General responded that his success rate was due to its pilots ate many carrots.

and by the way, there is no scientific evidence to show that carrots help or improve the vision.

SpoonJar JarSpoon

WilyCoyote wrote: »

About the Three Wise Men following a comet that was travelling at the speed of a Camel

eeh, well now...

Day Lewin

Sitting on the radiators will give you piles. Believed by all, even though the yokes were storage heaters and we didn't even know what "piles" was!!

It's bad luck to put up an umbrella in the house.
Don't warm up your coat before you put it on or "the cold will go to your chest"
Bright colours hurt babies' eyes.

Day Lewin

Two nipples and a navel? Here's why:

"When God was making you, he made the insides first and then he put them inside the skin, and closed up the skin with your three buttons!"

(I still like this one)

Mr Freeze

If you eat 10 Stinger bars, you will die!

I don't know if it was in one go or a cumulative total....

BeerWolf

Shiraz 4.99 wrote: »

Eating apple seeds makes baby trees grow in your tummy

It can happen, look here:

:pac:

elfy4eva

When ya get a green crisp in a bag of tayto...thats poisonous.

Greenflies....extremely venomous...

Daddy Long legs.....Have the most painful sting in the world.

yellowlabrador

babies come out of bellybuttons.

chewing gum from vending machines give you measles

whisky_galore

A concrete religious statue REALLY moved. It's a miracle people!

BeerWolf

elfy4eva wrote: »

When ya get a green crisp in a bag of tayto...thats poisonous.

I'd imagine that's due to thinking green potatoes are poisonous, which they really are... containing high levels of solanine. But you'd need to eat about half a kilo of it to get sick...

whisky_galore

The mummy dog/cat ate all her puppies/kittens. All of them.
(delete as applicable)

Yes I'm aware it does happen, but a convenient cover story for parents to 'dispose' of puppies and kittens.

SEPT 23 1989

We would be in the middle of another ice age now

mathie

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

**** makes you go blind.

Rgdsf dfgsp f sfs fo sewrs adadkl qeqweq!

SpoonJar JarSpoon

whisky_galore wrote: »

A concrete religious statue REALLY moved. It's a miracle people!

Oh Jesus... :rolleyes:

(or was it Mary?)

Kaycee2

Believed that picking dandelions or even touching them would make you piss in your bed.

When our first dog got ran over he didn't die, he went to live on 'the farm'.

Alun

Kaycee2 wrote: »

Believed that picking dandelions or even touching them would make you piss in your bed.

Well, there's an element of truth there, in that the roots of the dandelion have a strong diuretic effect, hence the French name pissenlit or the old English folk name piss-a-bed.

Kaycee2

Another one i was told, if you killed a spider it would start raining!

Ken Shamrock

Women piss out there ass, hahahahaha

Cutting your toe nails too short gives you diabetes

Gas stuff.

Cantremember

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Seriously?
Whats with boards.ie or should say After Hours?

Like the thread was made at 7:22pm and that same minute the first reply was taking a popshot at religion? Did you even read the op Drumsteve or couldnt you reply quick enough from reading the thread title?

There are so many pops against religion on here. We get it. Alot of people here are athiest. Who cares

The OP requested bull**** stories and he got them. So religion is the first thing that springs to mind. So what?

seamus

Going to sleep with wet hair gives you a cold.

Being cold will cause a cold.

Five sneezes in a row is an orgasm.

LizzieJones

seamus wrote: »

Five sneezes in a row is an orgasm.

Well I guess I had an orgasm today. Haha!

Stepping on a crack will break your mother's back.

<I stepped on a LOT of cracks when I was mad at her>

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

The dog..."ran away".

'The man will be cross' if you don't stop messing (cut to some poor confused looking man with 'don't fecking drag me into this' written all over his face).

There's a boogie man who leaves you alone as long as you stay in bed and don't make any noise- that one really backfired on my granny, pissed beds every night that week

Not to join in with the 'religion! HARHARHAR' responses (finding the atheist on AH is like finding the proverbial vegan at the dinner party at this point), but my primary school teacher was once being bombarded with questions about Easter and what does all this have to do with Jesus etc. Someone asked her about the Easter eggs and rather than mention anything about its pagan origins - if she even knew - she said that they were made in the shape of the rock that people rolled away from in front of Jesus' tomb on Easter Sunday

Jawgap

I wasn't so much told this story as made an improbable association......

......I could see the chimneys of the Pigeon House from my bedroom as a child and when my Dad told me what they were, and because they were so big, I assumed that's where all the birds slept at night.

Was told (and believed) the following...

If you swallowed chewing gum it would gather around your heart and kill you
Eating too many crisps would rip your guts
If somebody hit you while you were crossing your eyes, you'd be left like that
holding cold wet hands to a fire to warm them up would give you 'chill blains'