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Child Item

Wierd erotic fan fiction from One Direction fan results in 6 figure publishing deal

... what?

Yep, you heard right. The odd sex fantasies that some 25 year old yank has about Harry Styles has been read 800 million times, now numbers 294 chapters and has just been signed for a book deal worth a 6 figure sum, with a movie on the way...

The Guardian summed up the story so far as this:

Well, Harry meets a girl named Tessa. In chapter 22, Tessa goes to the Vancouver Mall. In chapter 75, Harry describes himself as "a sexy rude naked guy". In the next chapter they almost have sex but end up watching a Channing Tatum film on a laptop instead. I stopped reading after that, but presumably the rest is just as gripping.

Rivetting...

Moral of the story folks - ... I'm not sure what the moral of this story is tbh...

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Mrs Garth Brooks

Mmm, never mind one direction, new sexy porn book on the way with Garth Brooks. I'll make my millions.

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

Mmm, never mind one direction, new sexy porn book on the way with Garth Brooks. I'll make my millions.

Entitled "Shameless; The Story of what Garth did to my Low Places"

Capter One: "He showed up in boots....and nothing else...."

Buzz Killington the third

It reminds me of the whole 'Twilight moms' thing. It's just creepy!

Fan fiction is the only way to make a living in publishing these days.

Foxhound38 wrote: »

... what?

Yep, you heard right. The odd sex fantasies that some 25 year old yank has about Harry Styles has been read 800 million times, now numbers 294 chapters and has just been signed for a book deal worth a 6 figure sum, with a movie on the way...

The Guardian summed up the story so far as this:

Rivetting...

Moral of the story folks - ... I'm not sure what the moral of this story is tbh...

As long as it also includes lots of food porn and designer shopping with good looking wealthy people it should do well. That sort of thing is very popular.

I'm waiting for the inevitable Irish porn book breakout hit...

"The moonlight danced off the sweat on his arse" :pac:

I'm not surprised tbh.

Written sexual fantasies are a bit odd.

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

I'm not surprised tbh.

Written sexual fantasies are a bit odd.

I find it a bit creepy that it's the product of a 25 year old adult!

Foxhound38 wrote: »

I find it a bit creepy that it's the product of a 25 year old adult!

Ah well. I guess they're dragged along with their children to their concerts. Adults minds wander when they're bored, and, when you factor in the social isolation factor of motherhood, sexuality can get a bit weird.

Is it the age or the reliance on fantasy that bothers you?

Styles is "The Cheeky One" is he?

FFS.

I have no writing skills and a stupid idea. Time for me to make millions.

If it's been read 800 million times, who the hell's going to buy what they've already read?

Alf. A. Male wrote: »

Entitled "Shameless; The Story of what Garth did to my Low Places"

Capter One: "He showed up in boots....and nothing else...."

Chapter Two: "He ain't going down till the sun comes up."

The Guardian wrote:

So this is how you get rich? Write in a stream of consciousness style about celebrities having sex with an impressionable young woman and wait for the money to roll in? It depends on which celebrities you pick. Stories about Harry Styles and Robert Pattinson, for example, will do well. Stories about Philip Schofield having sex with a dinosaur, possibly less so.

w t f

?

?

--.--;

o.O;

Still a better love story than Twilight

Mrs Garth Brooks

Alf. A. Male wrote: »

Entitled "Shameless; The Story of what Garth did to my Low Places"

Capter One: "He showed up in boots and his stetson....His stetson was hung...."

Edited your post

Moral of the story is that the world needs more well written erotica. The problem with a lot of it is that many people have massively high sex drives but no way with words, so you get erotica with incredibly steamy concepts, but so badly presented that the lousy writing style managed to negate the sexy.

What you really want in an erotica author is a cross between Jenna Jameson and JK Rowling.

Wand Erection

Harry gripped his wand tightly.

Writing unoriginal shyte about unoriginal shyte. It's shyte inception.

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Harry gripped his wand tightly.

Ginny hoped he'd stop thinking about Voldemort when he used his wand.

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

Ginny hoped he'd stop thinking about Voldemort when he used his wand.

"It'd only be dangerous if you waved it around shouting 'I've got an unbeatable wand, come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...'" :pac:

Shakespeare's Sister

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Moral of the story is that the world needs more well written erotica. The problem with a lot of it is that many people have massively high sex drives but no way with words, so you get erotica with incredibly steamy concepts, but so badly presented that the lousy writing style managed to negate the sexy.

"His hands explored her most hidden and explosive places... the way a mechanic's hands might get to work inside a car's engine."

I kid you not, I read this in a novel that I realised was a tad, eh, 'raunchy'.

He slipped into her like a wet otter into water

:eek:

Unless you're writing it with your tongue on your lover's skin, erotica is generally full of cringe.

(oops, that sounds like I have a Helen Keller kink :eek:)

For years, the Bad Sex Award has celebrated the purplest, most moist and juddering prose in mainstream literature- try these for a laugh:

http://www.theguardian.com/books/poll/2013/dec/03/bad-sex-awards-extracts-poll

Selling sex to repressed middle aged housewives has been a goldmine ever since repressed middle aged housewives became a thing.

Same as it ever was imo!

I think that this is further proof that when it comes to obsessing over celebrities, women are bigger perverts than men.

Last year, Heath from Home and Away went on a whistle-stop tour of Ireland and got groped and photographed with every horny young fan in the country. Yet it's the lads that get flak over sex obsession.

Yup. There's a good rough rule that says your critical thinking skills fall in relation to the rising of your arousal.

Trent is the best erotic fiction ever.