job seeker wrote: » OP it's eye contact, not a staring contest!! ( o ) ( o ) < don't do this!
littlelulu wrote: » Grow boobs?
yeahimhere wrote: » I know the OP is trolling but actually, just thinking about it, a fella I used to work with had major issues with personal space and extreme eye contact at the same time. Every time you took a step back he'd step towards you again - ended up looking like we were dancing. So scary thought, maybe the OP isn't trolling :eek:
job seeker wrote: » Exactly...don't grow boobs that look like eyes...
yellow poole water wrote: » absolutely. one time I had a pet iguana. it got really sick, the vet said he wasnt going to make it, so I brought him home, gave him some delicious grubs (his favorite food) and then when skittles the iguana was fast asleep I quickly broke his neck. another time the neighbors dog was barking alot, I mean like ALOT. obviously the dog was in pain. it was 6 years old and the owner only took it out for walks like 4 times a week. sad really. so when it started barking one night I knew that I had to help this dog. I put some sedatives in a ball of hamburger, tossed it over the fence, then when the dog was asleep I dragged it into my yard, cut it up into a bunch of pieces with a shovel, then burried it in my garden. now I get only the sweetest cobs of corn from that corner of the garden. gods way of thanking me for doing his work for him I guess.
littlelulu wrote: » They are the worst kind
yellow poole water wrote: » long time reader first time poster here with a quick question I hope you guys can answer for me. what is the appropriate length of time to maintain eye contact with a lady? Ive tried everything from no eye contact at all, simply staring at the ground for the entire time we talk, to a solid 30 seconds of intense, unwavering eye contact, and nothing seems to be working for me. the ladys always seem to find me creepy and are not shy about telling me this. I recently did a little experiment. I spoke to 4 different women giving each of them a different amount of eye contact to see which would respond more favorably to me, and NONE of them felt comfortable around me. I started with darting eyes, and never meeting their gaze, then increased the direct eye contact in increments of 10 seconds with each new girl I spoke to. so I spoke to 4 ladys and gave them, 0, 10, 20, and 30 seconds of eye contact. no positive responses. what am I doing wrong here? maintaining silent eye contact for longer than 30 seconds seems a little creepy to me, but everything up to 30 seconds hasent worked for me. please help, Im 28 years young and really need to learn how to talk to women.
macplato wrote: » Gosh, I once worked with a guy like this as well... He would get so close to me with that wide-eyed stare, it made me nauseous. One day I decided to tackle it once and for all, and so after our "step back, step forward" dance, as politely as I could I said "Sorry Larry, I have a pretty wide personal space and... you are in it. Let me take a step back, I will feel more comfortable." He got offended
Candie wrote: » I had the same experience with someone I worked with. I asked him to take a step back as he was too close to focus on and it made me uncomfortable. He told everyone I had a problem with people being near. He made it sound like I'd a pathological fear of someone being so much as in the same room as me.
macplato wrote: » Incredible, isn't it? I've learned to expect that people who have no concept of (or respect for) other people's personal boundaries will flip if I tell them, however gently, to back off. Though I'm pretty much immune to other people's drama at this stage (I used to be a magnet for creeps, so have had a lot of practice :pac:), it is a bit unsettling to be treated like you are the crazy one, when it's clear that it is them who have serious psychological issues. Ah well...
Tail Docker wrote: » I had a lad who worked with us do that all the time on a site - boosh - straight into my face every time I had to deal with him. Some sort of "intimidate them to impose your will" schtick. After a day or two of this, next time he did it I dropped the hand and grabbed his balls, hard. Had an amazing effect on his spatial awareness.
GalwayGuy2 wrote: » Funnily enough I imagined you as a big gruff builder. Then you said I grabbed his balls and I was like...oh. .
GalwayGuy2 wrote: » Funnily enough I imagined you as a big gruff builder. Then you said I grabbed his balls and I was like...oh. EDIT:@Candie What do you think of the above PUA'esque video? I'm asking you because I've read a few of your posts complaining about PUA'ism Strangely, I thought it made a lot of sense.
But the movement has also has spawned an extreme offshoot - the world of anti-"pick-up artists", some of whom blame their lack of success with women on both the PUA industry, and the women themselves.
"And you just see deeper and deeper layers of misogyny that pile up through all the forums."
Immediately after the shootings some posters to PUAHate distanced themselves from Rodgers, but others sarcastically commented that the shootings could have been prevented if only women had had sex with him. "Again it seems like it's deflecting the blame onto women," says Kearns. "After spending a good amount of time in the forum and reading some of the threads, really nothing surprises you."
Eros does not go away. My clients tell stories of how they have tried to forget about what they desire sexually, channeled it into eating, drinking, irritability, frigidity, spirituality or pornography. It did not matter! Eros was as strong a part of them as ever.
i am so grateful to be in a position now where I can offer the safety and trust that allows people to open up and speak their desire honestly. They can finally begin the process of learning about and sorting through the difficulties tangled up with their erotic desire. Healing is a process of disengaging the fear, shame, harsh judgments, feelings of not being worthy and other challenges that have gotten embedded in the unconscious and that arise on cue, right along with our Eros.
"Sex is shrouded in such mystery and secrecy, that an honest conversation about it is nothing short of miraculous.
Solar Flare wrote: » There's some fantastic PUA advice out there that can improve people's lives.
Lou.m wrote: » There is a lack of sexual and emotional honesty I don't know how people expect another human to feel comfortable opening up to them sexually when they attempt to demean them or their opinions thoughts and feelings. The whole thing is an attempt not to be found out. Whether it be hiding from the fact that people are not the love gods and goddesses they feel they should be or from themselves or what they This whole PUA thing ...it further pushes sex into an area of secrecy and shame.....it is not sex positive. It has a very negative manipulative cynical view of human beings. The language is infantile and demeaning. It convinces men that sex outside of a long term relationship cannot be handled maturely. It convinces them that if a woman prefers sex within relationships or rejects them she should be punished or manipulated for not complying. This only further alienates people. It convinces men that they are not men without sex or women. It is VERY damaging. There are fetish kink sex party groups out there.....the excuse is why organize your sex life ? Well because it is a way of keeping your integrity and not hurting people. This snake oil crap further pushes it into the back ...just for money...because if men realized they could talk openly about it ...they would not need to pay would they?
Lou.m wrote: » It hurts many more people. Most PUA vids are boasts about how awful they have been to women. It is almost a competition to see how many women they can hurt and be jerks too. But of course women are subhuman right??? And of course the AFCs..they stands for average frustrated chump I have found out that it what they call men who choose to love themselves the way they are..they also demean any man who does not buy their product. Yeah these 'gurus' are practically social workers... Forgive me if as a lowly female I am slightly skeptical and view it with ambivalence. It seems to think I should be targeted and manipulated and ripped off the 'princess pedestal' i put myself on. Apparently working on my self esteem and trying to be kind and the bigger person after bad experiences is not what my little self should be doing. I should be worried about a man's social status and I should not try and bring a positive vibe to the party I should be accepting negging and alienation. I should not love him for who is but all this little tricks he has paid you for. I should not make him feel secure by my loyalty and unconditional love or acceptance he might feel far too confident for your product then! Yes both men and women should be miserable so you can sell them crap or give yourself better social status because it is actually you who are the problem. Thank you and good night.
Solar Flare wrote: » Some incredible sweeping generalisations you are making there.
Solar Flare wrote: » OP there's some good pua youtube videos you should take a look at. Look at Tyler Durden's videos, some educational stuff there.
Lou.m wrote: » He is one of the sleaziest in my mind.
Lou.m wrote: » He is one of the sleaziest in my mind. I am open minded though and please feel free to show me some. But I don't entertain thought terminating clichés which I found this stuff is full of. A lot of their accounts draw on misleading vividness to support their argument for their product and to try to dismiss arguments against the morality of it. I can give understanding to men who try it and compassion, but don't ask me be to be stupid. I refuse to be manipulated. I can't stand fallacious thinking. They tend to describe their sexual encounters in vivid detail, even if it is an exceptional occurrence, they use the vividness and outrageousness to convince others that the way it came about is a sound order of operations. And they use this faulty conclusion argue it is ok. It works ...'because she was SO hot and there were five of them and each of then had two vaginas and three boobs and they all squirted in unison' It is morally ok ' because it works'. Or it is morally ok 'because women are evil or beneath us ..or you have been rejected so many times' ... Or the the crunch, it is ok because 'you will never get a girl you like without it...you know you won't'. They use vivid imagery and emotional manipulation on their customers to quell any emotional or mental discomfort in their thoughts about doing this. They try to quell cognitive dissonance. When dissonance is present, in addition to trying to reduce it, the person will actively avoid situations and information which would likely increase the dissonance.
Solar Flare wrote: » What in particluar about his advice or philosophy do you disagree with?
Solar Flare wrote: » Where are you getting this idea that PUA says women arr evil or beneath men?
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