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Deciding if someone is in need or a crackpot / scammer

yeahimhere

At 5.30 this morning I was woken by knocking on my front door. Slightly groggy I looked out my bedroom window to see if I knew who it was, couldn't get a good look so went into another upstairs room for a better view.

It was a girl in her mid or so twenties, tried to get a rough gage of how she looked to see what might be up. Didn't look like she was dressed like she was coming from a night out - just flat runners, skinny jeans a jacket and over sized slightly tacky leopard print bag and either a cast or bandage around her left hand. She wasn't holding her bandaged hand so didn't seem like a recent injury. Assumed she wasn't driving i.e broke down and looking for help as she wouldn't be able to drive with the hand. She didn't look panicked, but had a little wobble - maybe had a few drinks or otherwise.

Now I live in the countryside, it's not a road you'd just randomly walk down to get from A to B. The house isn't the most inviting to walk into either - there's a large gate that was closed over which she had to open to get in. There's other houses on a row next to us that if I was looking for help, I'd try instead. Also if she was coming from the other direction, 200m before us she would have met houses there also. I was alone in the house so was deciding what to do when she let out two loud cries, not like she was sobbing, just wailing. It sounded attention seeking rather than a normal cry.

So, my gut instinct was not to engage with her as something just didn't seem right so I ignored the knocks and doorbell and let her walk on up the road again looking into her phone. The incident only lasted 5mins after I woke but after watching crimecall tonight it's on my mind if I did the right thing? I usually trust my gut instinct however it may be tainted somewhat by the fact that we've had an attempted break in a few months ago and interrupted some others "wandering" around in the past.

TL:DR; Someone knocking on your door, how do you judge if someone is genuinely in need of help versus completely regretting possibly letting a stranger into your house?

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Sir Arthur Daley

Anyone could put on a female voice and sound pretty.

Pat Mustard

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

If I were to stay in bed they would be greeted with husqy t536i.

You have a robot guard dog? Fair play.

Shanotheslayer

Few weeks ago I heard a knock on the door around 10:30. Was a very light knock, normally I don't answer the door but i had suspicions as to why someone was knocking this late and went out. Looked out peep hole, and saw a woman. Opened it and within seconds, I could tell something was up, started saying boyfriend beat her up etc etc. I was having none of it, closed door told her to jog on. So ran upstairs anyway and looked out the window, she was signalling to a car down the road, car just drove off after the signal. While watching anyway, she knocked on a door few doors down and that neighbour kept her talking for awhile, car came back to end of road obviously waiting for a signal. But I rang the guards anyway and they got her.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Mustard wrote: »

You have a robot guard dog? Fair play.

No its a husqvarna battery top handle saw, its a p.o.s up a tree but for the 15 mins it lasts it could prove invaluable.

The Backwards Man

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Anyone could put on a female voice and sound pretty.

Hey sexy.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Hey sexy.

How are you love?

Is it me you are looking for?

yeahimhere

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

Few weeks ago I heard a knock on the door around 10:30. Was a very light knock, normally I don't answer the door but i had suspicions as to why someone was knocking this late and went out. Looked out peep hole, and saw a woman. Opened it and within seconds, I could tell something was up, started saying boyfriend beat her up etc etc. I was having none of it, closed door told her to jog on. So ran upstairs anyway and looked out the window, she was signalling to a car down the road, car just drove off after the signal. While watching anyway, she knocked on a door few doors down and that neighbour kept her talking for awhile, car came back to end of road obviously waiting for a signal. But I rang the guards anyway and they got her.

Come to think of it, that's an issue I had with the sound of the "wail" rather than a cry she had, it sounded disingenuous rather than an actual upset cry. She let out that cry after I looked through the window and wasn't sure if she saw me, if she saw me, it seemed like she was seeking attention in an odd way. Add that with her bandaged hand, it didn't sit right.

The Backwards Man

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

How are you love?

Is it me you are looking for?

I can see it in your eyes

Mech1

Public transport from that 1D gig was pis* poor,

There is a thread about it on here somewhere.

The Diabolical Monocle

"I was alone in the house"
"I live in the countryside, it's not a road you'd just randomly walk down to get from A to B"
You mention other nearby houses that are easier to access.
Yet she just so happens to call to the one with one person inside.

This all sets off my spider senses,

OP - if you normally live alone you've just had a very close call.

Visible injury and tears. awww.

Zambia

yeahimhere wrote: »

Come to think of it, that's an issue I had with the sound of the "wail" rather than a cry she had, it sounded disingenuous rather than an actual upset cry. She let out that cry after I looked through the window and wasn't sure if she saw me, if she saw me, it seemed like she was seeking attention in an odd way. Add that with her bandaged hand, it didn't sit right.

Yeah sounds like she was out of battery.

yeahimhere

Zambia wrote: »

Yeah sounds like she was out of battery.

Probably, "hear hoofs, don't think zebra" comes to mind. I probably was going for the worst case scenario.

Zambia

yeahimhere wrote: »

Probably, "hear hoofs, don't think zebra" comes to mind. I probably was going for the worst case scenario.

You never know .

I know a bloke who works for the 000 service here (999). Several people in the suburbs call police when there is a knock on the door at night and they are not expecting anyone.

"Hello police"
"Hi there is someone knocking at my door and I don't know who it is"
"Have you had a look out?"
"No they could be anyone"

meoklmrk91

You followed your gut instinct OP, I think you did the right thing. I live alone and don't think that you can be too careful. I never open the front door to anyone without opening a window and sticking my head out to see who it is.

FullblownRose

yeahimhere wrote: »

She didn't seem like she was being followed anyway. She wasn't in anyway panicked and walked up the road in a calm manner. If someone was following me I wouldn't take the time to open a heavy gate (there's three things you need to do to open the gate) with an injured hand. I'd choose a house that didn't have an obstacle to get through.

As above, I acknowledge that I should have talked to her out the window to ascertain what was wrong but some things (albeit in my sleepy brain) didn't sit right so I didn't.

You should always go with your gut instinct, it's all you have in a weird unprecedented situation like yours. I suppose you could ring your local garda station and let them know, just in case she's unwell or something and people are looking for her, or in case there is some kind of scam going on in your area.

I've just remembered a few months back, some fella called to the door at night. He hadn't knocked, My dog barked so I looked out through the glass in the door, and couldn't see anything, then noticed him standing just to the left of the glass. I got such a fright I screamed, and after a moment he said ''Sorry..I have a delivery for you'' or something, through the door. He was standing there with some kind of sports bag open in his hands but nothing like a courier or pizza delivery or anything like that. I don't think I answered, as it was all a bit weird, Then I think he said he was at the wrong house and went away.

SEPT 23 1989

You open the door and the group of men in the bushes rush the door tie you up and rob everything in the house

you did the right thing

Babooshka

FullblownRose wrote: »

You should always go with your gut instinct, it's all you have in a weird unprecedented situation like yours. .

But also remember too that people have a gut instinct to help others. That's what those scumbags depend on when taking advantage of people's kindness. So much stuff happening lately that I would think twice about what my gut instinct would normally tell me to do i.e. help someone who seems in distress. Think I would walk away instead now as I am a lot more suspicious of people than I used to be.

FullblownRose

Babooshka wrote: »

But also remember too that people have a gut instinct to help others. That's what those scumbags depend on when taking advantage of people's kindness. So much stuff happening lately that I would think twice about what my gut instinct would normally tell me to do i.e. help someone who seems in distress. Think I would walk away instead now as I am a lot more suspicious of people than I used to be.

That's true. I guess op's overriding instinct was that there was something not right about it but it could've been different and who knows what would've happened..I think it's what makes you decide on the spot whether something is dangerous or not

Babooshka

FullblownRose wrote: »

That's true. I guess op's overriding instinct was that there was something not right about it but it could've been different and who knows what would've happened..I think it's what makes you decide on the spot whether something is dangerous or not

True, you don't always get time to go against your initial gut instinct. There will be a lot more of it by the time this country gets financial stability back.

nc19

Far too many bleeding hearts on this forum imo.

i would not have even gotten out of bed tbh.

So, you open the door and in burst a gang of scummers to do god knows what or she gives you a sob story then when your backs turned she nicks your money etc or something has happened to her and you are now involved and cant go back to bed.

Whatever way it would have played out it would have inconvenienced you. Not worth it imo.

the culture of deference

5.30 am ..... lone female ....... middle of nowhere. Sounds like a robbery plan.

how long would it take to walk to your house from the nearest town

NZ_2014

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Also because knocking of someones house is also an old trick to see if someone is in before breaking in.

Seems like a decent way of setting up a robber. Let them break in, call the guards, hide, and hopefully they`ll be caught. Bit risky tho!

Stainless_Steel

There was a chance, albeit small, that she just wanted to suck the lad off ya. You messed up there chief.

yeahimhere

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

You open the door and the group of men in the bushes rush the door tie you up and rob everything in the house

you did the right thing

There's an open enough front with the fence and gates angled a bit in front of the house so wouldn't allow someone to hide and take you by surprise at the door. There wasn't anyone hiding in the bushes unless it was down the road a bit. If anyone was coming, a story would have to be involved to allow them in / around the house. Which kind of brings me back to her being genuine.

nc19 wrote: »

Far too many bleeding hearts on this forum imo.

i would not have even gotten out of bed tbh.

So, you open the door and in burst a gang of scummers to do god knows what or she gives you a sob story then when your backs turned she nicks your money etc or something has happened to her and you are now involved and cant go back to bed.

Whatever way it would have played out it would have inconvenienced you. Not worth it imo.

wow you're lovely!

My problem now is that I'm ever in genuine need of help, it seems no one will open the door to me :eek:

the culture of deference wrote: »

5.30 am ..... lone female ....... middle of nowhere. Sounds like a robbery plan.

how long would it take to walk to your house from the nearest town

I'm not usually alone and there was no way of anyone really knowing that I was alone. It would take around an hour and a half to two hours to walk to the centre of town but there are main roads and other houses along the way. I'm not living in a bog. It wouldn't be strange to drive by, just strange to walk by unless you were a local. It's not the safest road to walk on.

Stainless_Steel wrote: »

There was a chance, albeit small, that she just wanted to suck the lad off ya. You messed up there chief.

Also a shame as I'm a female :pac:

FullblownRose

Maybe different people react differently but if I had to go for help, Id be trying to keep it together so to speak until Id explained the situation. Dont you kind of run on adrenaline in shock and then kind of have a wobble afterwards when its' 'safe' to do so ?. I think the full force of the situation hits after youve done what you have to do, but Im no expert. I can imagine calling something like, sorry to disturb you but such a thing has happened and I just need to use a phone or whatever. I probably wouldnt make much sense or sound normal but I think Id be trying to act normally rather than wailing outside someones front door. Im not an expert, obviously! Just my opinion.

Temptamperu

Are you sure she wasn't one of those sexy singles the internet always tells you about?

Zambia

Temptamperu wrote: »

Are you sure she wasn't one of those sexy singles the internet always tells you about?

Good point she was in his area?

Who would have known they just wander around.

yeahimhere

Temptamperu wrote: »

Are you sure she wasn't one of those sexy singles the internet always tells you about?

Teagwee

Most likely reason for her presence is a dead battery - maybe her car broke down somewhere nearby - despite the hand injury she may still have been driving.

If not, someone else or a taxi must have transported her to or near your door, as it seems unlikely she walked. Why were they not the one to come looking for help? Or did they feel that a woman had a better chance?

Or maybe she was a guest of one of your neighbours and didn't like the accommodation or the hospitality she was receiving ...

So much speculation, so few answers!

On another note, if you live out in the country and thought about calling the guards, you might just as well have thrown some camping gear and provisions out of the window as she'd be hanging around for quite a while

Flippyfloppy

This reminds me of something that happened to my next door neighbour. Last year some time there was a knock at the door at 3am. She opened it and there was a young woman there saying she needed to use the toilet because she was pregnant? As you do.

But she didn't look majorly pregnant or anything, and thankfully my 70 year old neighbour said sorry but no can do and shut the door. She said she heard her call into the next house but they didn't open the door.

Our houses are funny in that the front door is in the side entrance. So nobody on the road can see who's at your door, as well as our door itself is in an alcove as such so it's quite sheltered from view and there's just a green area across the road. That woman at my neighbours door could have had 5 men waiting each side of her but my neighbour wouldn't have seen.

Plus, we leave deep in an estate, she would have had to pass about 700 houses to get to hers. I'm just thankful my lovely lady neighbour didn't entertain her