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Being too attached to your local area.

LadyLucinda

I am not the most well traveled person out there but at the same time I do know that it will not be the end of the world if I don't end up settling down in my local village. The thing is that I have a group of friends whose lives revolve around working, living, drinking and most importantly playing GAA with the local team. They could easily work at what they are working at here in another country but the idea wouldn't even enter their heads. They drink in the same pubs every weekend and the same night club for years.

I am thinking about heading off to Australia or New Zeland soon but I wouldn't even bother asking them to come with me. I may not be so smart when I am abroad but I do think that if I do head off that I wouldn't miss the place too much, if at all. I would be very surprised if any of them even left the province to work and would expect them all to be at home for the rest of their lives. I actually find this quite sad.

Is this normal?

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Jamsiek

Benton Hollow Ventilation wrote: »

Personally I don't understands peoples desire to move away, especially abroad. The thought alone if having to move abroad would nearly turn my stomach.

Personally I'm the complete opposite to this. I can't understand how people don't get bored to death in their own little areas, particular rural areas.

I can't help thinking that I'd be wasting my life if I wasn't getting more experience, making more friends, etc, in another part of the world.

Benton Hollow Ventilation wrote: »

Being close to my family, extended family and friends (most of whom are atill around, building houses at their home places etc) are important things to me.

I appreciate my family and I stay in constant contact with them on Skype and FaceTime, etc.
My parents are visiting me soon and my sister visited last year. I also love going home and have great friends there and it's always nice to catch up with them.

However, it doesn't take me long to get bored and ready to move again.
The same chat in the same pubs just doesn't appeal to me, I just don't get it.
I guess we are all different

Jamsiek

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

You sound very arrogant. You think you're so much better for flying off and leaving your buddies behind in the pub. Off with you but don't come back with that "oh look at me, I left Ballygobackwards, amn't I great" attitude.

Wow you're bitter, you also seem to have a serious inferiority complex.
Why can't you just understand that some people can settle abroad and actually enjoy it.
You don't have to agree with it but no need for the "wee man syndrome"

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

I'm from Galway and went to college in Cork. I much preferred Cork than I did Australia and I didn't have to leave the country. And I still got away from my home village.

Good for you, each to their own.

LadyLucinda

Jamsiek wrote: »

Wow you're bitter, you also seem to have a serious inferiority complex.
.

ya i thought the same but then i realized he lived in cork which is the new Dubai

irishguitarlad

I am from a really small village. I went to England when I was 18 and I lived there for four years, I then lived in Spain for a few months. I am dying to get out of here again. It is much harder for me to live here as I have seen a bit of the world. I had probably been better off not going anywhere if I wanted to stay here.

beks101

It irks me a little when people say "I'm really close to my family and friends so I could never live so far away from them", as if moving away somewhat de-values your relationship with your family.

I'm closer to my parents now than I ever was when I lived at home because I appreciate them more and have come to see them as the adults they are, outside of their parental role, and that's something I didn't really experience when I was living right under their nose. I've also found we're a lot more expressive with each other and always prioritize the Skype chats and emails and phone calls and trips home/away together because that time is so precious and so important.

It's never easy to live far from the people you love, but the world is a lot smaller these days and I know my parents would hate the thought of me sticking around for their sake when there's a big world out there that can offer me a lot more than the small city I grew up in can.

OT, I love that small city. It will always be home. I've lived all over the world and each time I come back it seems more beautiful, more breath-taking and more quaint to me. Ireland generally is such a rich country scenery-wise and Galway is pretty untouchable in that regard. And nostalgia holds a strong note too.

But for me, the biggest part of growing up and becoming who I am has been about spreading my wings and discovering the wider world. Learning about other cultures, acquiring the social skills to make friends in foreign places and forging a career for myself in unfamiliar territory.

There's a wonderful freedom in that and it suits my personality far more than the same four walls, the same people, the same pubs, the same pigeon holes - as is often the case in Irish towns. Moving on from that has been the greatest opportunity for personal growth for me; and it's facilitated a deep old grá for Galway and Ireland in me too.

fillefatale

I was dying to get to college and out of my home town. I lived on and off out of it for 5 years, then moved back due to unemployment. I had few friends there growing up as I was always the odd one out in a way, when I lived at home during those months of unemployment it really got to me - the provincialism. But I love it and hope to live there when I've figured out some way to support my life, as no jobs are being created there, and certainly won't be in the foreseeable future. I have no problem with homebirds, but sniggering at people who've lived outside the town for years, in comparison to those that haven't, and mocking their "notions" drives me nuts. Theres a whole world out there, embrace it and don't mock those that do, even if you haven't had the motivation!!

osarusan

Jamsiek wrote: »

Good for you, each to their own.

Not really each to their own for the OP though, they're 'too' attached to their hometown, their life apparently revolves around GAA and drinking, and she finds them 'sad'.

Stained Class

Jamsiek wrote: »

Personally I'm the complete opposite to this. I can't understand how people don't get bored to death in their own little areas, particular rural areas.

I can't help thinking that I'd be wasting my life if I wasn't getting more experience, making more friends, etc, in another part of the world.

Depends on how your fixed.

If you grow up in a small place & have a good job with a good income...

You meet the love of your life there... Why leave?

Everyone is different & everyone's circumstances are different.

Jamsiek

osarusan wrote: »

Not really each to their own for the OP though, they're 'too' attached to their hometown, their life apparently revolves around GAA and drinking, and she finds them 'sad'.

To be honest, I would think the idea of life revolving around GAA and drinking is kind of sad to most people.
I know lots if people like this and they are good fun but many of them are on the dole or on low paid jobs that they're way overqualified for.

biko

Traveled the world once with a couple mates. After about 4 weeks one gave up and went home from Singapore, he just couldn't stand being away any more. Afaik, he has never left since, except for a couple weeks in Spain and such.

Fair play, at least he gave it a shot.

Jamsiek

Stained Class wrote: »

Depends on how your fixed.

You meet the love of your life there... Why leave?

Everyone is different & everyone's circumstances are different.

A friend of mine has an elderly mother in poor health so he is at home because of her.
However, he has a brother in the US and it's a matter of time before he emigrates there.

Other friends of mine are married at home so they have fewer options and are struggling badly to make ends meet.
I know other couples with kids that have emigrated and they are so happy now.

However I know of a lot of people at home on the dole, single, with nothing holding them back from making their lives better.

orangesoda

The GAA is like a bit of a cult sometimes. I remember in underage we reached the county (south) u-16 'B' final and the manager gathered us around for a passionate team talk, he even got old retired players in to give us a motivational talk in a tense changing room, I remember him saying 'you'll be walking down the street some day and you'll think to yourself 'i've got a u-16 b winners medal in my back pocket' back then the world didn't exist outside of a section of your county.

Misty Chaos

Each to their own, personally. I personally find it odd that so many people in my local area are home birds, in spite them all saying the town is crap when they were in their teens!

Though to be fair, I've never shown much interest in GAA ( or sports in general ) and was seen as been a bit ' odd ' by my peers when I was younger. I've never had much attachment to my local area, maybe my family but they're always a quick phone call / skype away.

I've being away from my home town for over a year now and I don't really miss it - I've met better people and have had more meaningful friendships with some of them than I ever did at home. Don't see myself ever living long term in my home town again to be honest - for one thing, I wouldn't do that to my future kids, there is NOTHING there for them to do, apart from illicit activities brought about because there is nothing to do!

Just my two cents - I know wherever I'll end up in future, I'll fall into a routine as well.

Adamantium

orangesoda wrote: »

The GAA is like a bit of a cult sometimes. I remember in underage we reached the county (south) u-16 'B' final and the manager gathered us around for a passionate team talk, he even got old retired players in to give us a motivational talk in a tense changing room, I remember him saying 'you'll be walking down the street some day and you'll think to yourself 'i've got a u-16 b winners medal in my back pocket' back then the world didn't exist outside of a section of your county.

If anybody has ever watched the show "Friday Night Lights", you'll know it deals with the very same issue of small town cultish mentality towards sport and life in general. Its set in a rural Texas US football mad town.

I agree that "hard man" mentality and the peer pressure I felt; that I had to do so something I didn't like AT ALL for years, gave me a sort of hard nosed relentless disciplined drive mentality, that I could do anything having subjected myself to it; I find it easy to to do the just the "thing", what ever that maybe, unfazed by it.

One of the few good things from it.
That been said, growing in rural areas, villages gives you a far zanier sense of humour, appreciation for life and bizarre experiences to tell people, which townfolk seem to have lesser amount of. Before the age of the internet this was even more true.

The other thread made me think...

Father Ted resonates with me (and everybody else) because in a way; some of the stuff in that is oddly reminescent of the surreal, yet completely plausible going ons of small places across the country. It's a particular Irish sensibility that is really unique and charming. One of the only things to capture that "feel", the perpetually, damp, green, overcast, yet somehow sunny frosty look of the West of Ireland.

BetterThanThou

I'm not a fan of my area, it has far too little to do, far too much crime and too many wasters which are nothing more than a burden to society. The only thing I'd miss about my area is the close proximity to my friends. Though, I like other parts of Dublin, I just dislike the suburb I live in, and a lot of other suburbs of Dublin, but there's some I'd happily move to and I hope I have the chance to do so in the future.

Legs.Eleven

Jamsiek wrote: »

To be honest, I would think the idea of life revolving around GAA and drinking is kind of sad to most people.
I know lots if people like this and they are good fun but many of them are on the dole or on low paid jobs that they're way overqualified for.

Each to their own, as you would say. I know plenty of Irish lads living here in Madrid whose social life revolves around drink and GAA. My brother is heavily involved in the GAA team in San Diego as is his Australian wife and he also likes a drink. That's just what many people enjoy. Not getting what's so sad about it. If they're unemployed or in low paying jobs, then that has more to do with the state of the economy.

DEFTLEFTHAND

A made guy! Attacheced to his area, for instance a Gambino on Mullberry street in NYC?? They used to play the media..

A Lucchese or Genovese wipes his cock with the Gambino defence..

Jamsiek

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Each to their own, as you would say. I know plenty of Irish lads living here in Madrid whose social life revolves around drink and GAA. My brother is heavily involved in the GAA team in San Diego as is his Australian wife and he also likes a drink. That's just what many people enjoy. Not getting what's so sad about it. If they're unemployed or in low paying jobs, then that has more to do with the state of the economy.

I don't think you're getting what I'm saying.
I enjoy a drink too but my life doesn't revolve around it or the GAA for that matter.
It's easy to blame the economy all the time but many people have nothing stopping them from going elsewhere to better themselves.

Legs.Eleven

Jamsiek wrote: »

I don't think you're getting what I'm saying.
I enjoy a drink too but my life doesn't revolve around it or the GAA for that matter.
It's easy to blame the economy all the time but many people have nothing stopping them from going elsewhere to better themselves.

I do get what you're saying but your contradicting yourself. You originally said, "Each to their own" but you didn't actually mean it.

Lack of funds could prevent someone from emigrating, for example.

Micky Dolenz

I left the Shire once and it turned out to be quite the adventure.

Jamsiek

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

I do get what you're saying but your contradicting yourself. You originally said, "Each to their own" but you didn't actually mean it.

Lack of funds could prevent someone from emigrating, for example.

You are still missing what I said.
When I said "each to their own" it was in a reply to a comment that an earlier poster preferred Cork to Australia. Although I don't understand how she could think this, she is entitled to believe it.

Lack of funds could indeed stop someone from emigrating but the earlier comment the OP made about lives "revolving around drinking" could be a contributing factor here.
Maybe this is the reason why she finds it "sad"

Legs.Eleven

Jamsiek wrote: »

You are still missing what I said.
When I said "each to their own" it was in a reply to a comment that an earlier poster preferred Cork to Australia. Although I don't understand how she could think this, she is entitled to believe it.

Lack of funds could indeed stop someone from emigrating but the earlier comment the OP made about lives "revolving around drinking" could be a contributing factor here.
Maybe this is the reason why she finds it "sad"

I think most people's lives revolve around only a few things if you get down to the nitty gritty. And obviously if your life revolves around GAA and drinking, that would also encompass spending time with friends, keeping reasonably in shape and socialising. Doesn't sound like a bad life to me. Obviously a lack of a job is an issue but there was no mention of that in the OP although you brought it up regarding a few people you know.

My point is, just because you move away, doesn't mean you'll automatically start doing new and exciting things and your life could just as easily revolve around GAA and drink (and socialising, spending time with friends etc.) in another country; it's rare a person has a total personality overhaul when they move abroad or their tastes in what they enjoy change dramatically.

Obviously it would be less "sad" if people's lives revolved around GAA and drink in another country, according to the OP.

BabysCoffee

I think some people barely don't even realize that they can actually choose to live elsewhere.

"I'm from here, the wife is from here, so we will buy a house here"

[Deleted User]

Jamsiek wrote: »

Personally I'm the complete opposite to this. I can't understand how people don't get bored to death in their own little areas, particular rural areas.

I can't help thinking that I'd be wasting my life if I wasn't getting more experience, making more friends, etc, in another part of the world.

However, it doesn't take me long to get bored and ready to move again.
The same chat in the same pubs just doesn't appeal to me, I just don't get it.
I guess we are all different

I'm from a rural area but it's only 20 mins drive from Galway city so that's where nights out are mostly, the local pub is more for a couple of pints with my dad. There isn't a better place in the world for the craic on a night out than Galway so I'd never be bored of it. It had everything I could want within a 30 min drive, my family, friends, the farm which I like working on, Galway city for nights out, shopping etc.

I actually feel the opposite to you in that if I'm away I feel I'm messing out on the stuff going on around home rather than the other way around.

I just don't see the need for all this "making it somewhere abroad" stuff when I never be as happy as I would be in Ireland and in particular living around my home area.

beks101 wrote: »

It irks me a little when people say "I'm really close to my family and friends so I could never live so far away from them", as if moving away somewhat de-values your relationship with your family.

I don't think people mean it like it de-values it. For me when I say I'm close to my family and want to live close by I mean that I want to be able to see them more or less on a daily basis and have them as a part of my everyday life rather than see them now and again and taking to them on skype.

thelad95

I can see why a lot of people become incredibly attached to their local area. If all your family and friends are there and if you feel a genuine sense of community, and work is available then why leave?

Personally, I would be a bit of a blow-in in my local town and didn't go to my local secondary school. While I will always be fond of my home town I couldn't envisage settling down here or in Ireland for that matter.

There is definitely a close-mindedness about a lot of Irish people though and they could do with seeing a bit of the world. I have cousins with no qualifications who seem happy to work in the local bar for the rest of their lives and would laugh at the suggestion of even moving to the next parish. Thats unhealthy.

beks101

thelad95 wrote: »

There is definitely a close-mindedness about a lot of Irish people though and they could do with seeing a bit of the world. I have cousins with no qualifications who seem happy to work in the local bar for the rest of their lives and would laugh at the suggestion of even moving to the next parish. That's unhealthy.

I think we're all deeply influenced by the people around us too and that plays a big role in how our lives pan out.

I grew up in Galway, went to college in Dublin and the majority of my friends from both home and college are living in big cities around the world. Not all, but a definite majority. London, New York, Montreal, Toronto, Sydney, San Francisco etc.

When I go back to Galway, I can count on one hand the amount of friends left to meet up with because most have created lives for themselves elsewhere. So that was the kind of mentality I was surrounded by during my school/college days - this idea that your twenties are about travelling and adventuring and seeing the world and following your career and all those things...and so I myself ended up doing the same thing.

One of my best friends lives in a small blink-and-you'd-miss-it town in the midlands. She got pregnant around the time we graduated and ended up moving back home with a local lad and every time I visit her, I'm always taken aback at how different the mentality and lives of her friends are to mine. All these girls who are the same age or younger than me but married years with two or three kids, a mortgage, new Christenings and weddings every other week, same pub and people at the weekend - just generally a kind of life that's pretty alien to me.

It's not a judgement - they all seem happy, as am I in my own life - but when I think back on my upbringing and the ideas and views that I've always had about the direction I was going, I don't think the above scenario was ever on the cards for me. It wasn't encouraged, by parents or friends or the people I was surrounded by from my teenage years through to my twenties. And maybe that's the difference.

Rasheed

Jamsiek wrote: »

Each to their own but I get bored easily.
I can't understand the appeal of the same place all the time.
"Toddling along" sounds like hell to me tbh

I do go on holidays and trips away, I don't literally stay in the same place! But for the everyday, I love it here. Living in the country, a few miles from town. Near all of my family, most of my friends and two minutes from work. I'm an hour from Dublin and an hour from Galway on motorways and 40 mins from Knock airport so I can head off if I crave something different. But I always have my nice quiet house to come home to.

And Roscommon has it's secret gems. So secret nobody knows about them.

LadyLucinda

Rasheed wrote: »

I do go on holidays and trips away, I don't literally stay in the same place! But for the everyday, I love it here. Living in the country, a few miles from town. Near all of my family, most of my friends and two minutes from work. I'm an hour from Dublin and an hour from Galway on motorways and 40 mins from Knock airport so I can head off if I crave something different. But I always have my nice quiet house to come home to.

And Roscommon has it's secret gems. So secret nobody knows about them.

Hows all in strokestown?

Shakespeare's Sister

I wouldn't like to emigrate far afield long-term because I'd miss my family and friends too much. I don't think people who do emigrate are devaluing their relationships with their families and friends though; just doing what's right for them.

ivytwine

beks101 wrote: »

I think we're all deeply influenced by the people around us too and that plays a big role in how our lives pan out.

I grew up in Galway, went to college in Dublin and the majority of my friends from both home and college are living in big cities around the world. Not all, but a definite majority. London, New York, Montreal, Toronto, Sydney, San Francisco etc.

When I go back to Galway, I can count on one hand the amount of friends left to meet up with because most have created lives for themselves elsewhere. So that was the kind of mentality I was surrounded by during my school/college days - this idea that your twenties are about travelling and adventuring and seeing the world and following your career and all those things...and so I myself ended up doing the same thing.

One of my best friends lives in a small blink-and-you'd-miss-it town in the midlands. She got pregnant around the time we graduated and ended up moving back home with a local lad and every time I visit her, I'm always taken aback at how different the mentality and lives of her friends are to mine. All these girls who are the same age or younger than me but married years with two or three kids, a mortgage, new Christenings and weddings every other week, same pub and people at the weekend - just generally a kind of life that's pretty alien to me.

It's not a judgement - they all seem happy, as am I in my own life - but when I think back on my upbringing and the ideas and views that I've always had about the direction I was going, I don't think the above scenario was ever on the cards for me. It wasn't encouraged, by parents or friends or the people I was surrounded by from my teenage years through to my twenties. And maybe that's the difference.

I agree Beks. My dad emigrated to London very young and before that he was serving abroad with the Irish Army. My mother is not Irish and she's been all over the world. It was always in me to travel and live in a big city, but others it's not.

It's fine as you say every person is different. For me living in a small town was stultifying, but for others it's not.