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"Everyone said ours was the best wedding ever"

Electric Sheep

I see this in a lot of posts on this forum.

Realistically, is anyone going to give the B&G an honest opinion after the wedding? If asked, I always say I enjoyed the wedding, no matter how tedious or disasterous it was, as there is no point in hurting feelings about something that is already over.

Has anyone ever had guests make any negative comments whatsoever post wedding? If so, on what aspects did they comment?

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Vojera

I can honestly say that I would never say "best wedding ever" to a couple if I didn't enjoy the night. I'd be more likely to say "oh it was lovely" or compliment some specific detail.

I can't see the point in pointing out flaws to the bride and groom. What is there to gain but hurt feelings? And if it's something like the band being crap or disastrous speeches then chances are they already know. And if not, let them have their happy memories. No harm in that.

hoodwinked

i think it really depends, if someone said to me "your wedding was the best one ever" i would thank them and forget about it,

but if they said something like "your wedding was the best one ever, i loved that you did x, y, z, with x being my favorite thing, or "i loved your style in dress it's like something i have picked/would pick" or "i am going to use that idea i think when i get married"...etc means they genuinely loved parts of your wedding, with ours the priest was related to us and is a very funny, down-to-earth kind of man, so he made the ceremony personal and had people laughing throughout the whole thing i don't think guests can fake that. and of course it brought a lot of positive feedback as you don't get that at everyday weddings.

i know with ours we were also lucky to have my grandmother, she criticizes everything and everyone, to your face, it can be seen as cruel or mean but i respect her opinion and honesty, when she told us it was the one she enjoyed the most only one or two tiny irrelevent details bothered her (not being allowed smoke in her room was one) it really meant something to me as i know her well enough to know she would have criticized if she could.

i think only a very few people would say "it was the best wedding ever" if they didn't mean it, i think the majority of people just wouldn't say anything or give a neutral response like "oh i enjoyed it" rather than it having to be falsely positive or saying something negative,

Femme_Fatale

Wedding slating again. A lot of people don't like weddings/find them boring and samey etc. That's fine - their opinion. What I don't agree with though is the way some think they speak for others with "The guests don't actually care" responses.
I really enjoy weddings. I have definitely been to weddings that I thought were the best weddings I've ever been to. I don't care if a lot of weddings follow a cookie-cutter format - I enjoy getting tarted up, getting together with friends, meeting new people and having a session. And I enjoy revelling in the happiness of the couple and their families and friends.

Senna wrote: »

If I heard "I'll have it medium but with no red in it" once, I heard it a hundred times.

Oops. I say that.

Ann Landers

Toots* wrote: »

One wedding I was at (actually was a BM at so it was extra cringey) the groom and best man's speech was laden with expletives, seriously every second word was fcuk. It was awful. Really awful. I was at the top table and looking around you could just see the shocked expressions on the guest's faces. Mother of the bride looked like she was going to die of shame, and the bride wasn't very impressed either. Worst part was that they did the speeches before dinner, so we had to sit there for the whole meal after the speeches which were received about as well as a fart in a space suit.

Nobody said anything to the B&G directly, but it was talked about by a lot of the guests during the dinner and the rest of the reception. In fact now, 8 years later, it still comes up whenever anyone is planning a wedding and mentions speeches. Seriously, if you wrote a book called "Stuff you shouldn't do under any circumstances during the speeches" it would come with a bonus DVD with footage from this wedding.

Wow, feel so sorry for the bride here.

All that planning, to have it ruined in the space of a few minutes.

At a wedding I was at recently, the father of bride mentioned in his (admittedly otherwise touching speech) that the bride was seeing someone else when she met the groom (she was). The speech carried on but at the end he added "Sorry, I am assured that (bride) was not seeing anyone at the time she met (groom)" Awk-ward. Someone clearly had a sly word in his ear during the speech (It wasn't as top table so I couldn't see if that was the case but I assume). Should have just left it be.

dobman88

In the place I work we cater for about 150 weddings a year and I can only think of 3 or 4 standout weddings now. The majority are all the same, people turn up, eat, drink, dance, hang around and talk shíte until 7am and that's it. Of course people are going to tell the B&G it's the best day ever, you can't really say it was crap. But, once the B&G head off with a smile on their faces, who cares? They are the only two that matter on the day.

For the people who had bad steaks, the B&G would have had a wedding tasting beforehand and if a venue can't cook a steak properly then they shouldn't be doing weddings or any event really.

Berty

Tasden wrote: »

Oh my god I'd be so annoyed, do any of ye watch don't tell the bride? There was one where the bridesmaid complained about everything and then when she was talking about how happy the bride was she was like "well of course she is though she's up there in a nice frock", still making it about her and how unhappy she was with the grooms choices!

I also saw that one. I already hated the b*tch and the missus kept telling me to shut up but when she made that comment the missus shouts out "hang the b*tch from the rafters".

clint_silver

Toots* wrote: »

Saw that one! That bridesmaid looked like she'd never cracked a smile in her whole life. Sat there the entire day with a big grumpy face on her. I actually thought the BM dresses were quite nice!

sorry toots, reminded me of this.

bucketybuck

Sala wrote: »

I know my Mam was at one and the mother of the groom was in a tizzy because one of the guests told her the food was cold. That's just cruel.

Maybe it was just gruel?

Penny Dreadful

I had the best time ever at my own wedding. Thats the way it usually is.
Some of my cousins told my parents afterwards that it was the best wedding they were ever at and I was a bit surprised at that. I think maybe it was because they hadn't seen each other for a long time and so they got to have a catch up which they enjoyed.
I didn't stress out over the preparations or get crazy about must have this, must be different this way, etc etc. Once we decided on the church wedding we both knew that a certain format would be followed so we put our money and effort into having enough good food, good music and a lot of wine/ soft drinks available for people. We didn't do favours, or lanterns or any of that stuff.
I've been to other weddings where some were really bad, some were ok and others were good fun but none of them were as special to me as my own. I would think it odd if someone else's wedding meant more to you / as much to you as your own (save for exceptional circumstances).

Gatica

Isn't it good if couples think their wedding was the best? It's better than them having regrets cos those other 3 weddings were better, etc...
Yes, we do think ours was the best. I'd like it if other guests thought so too, but wouldn't fret if they didn't. We had ceremony on the grounds, had a good few comments from aunts and friends saying they really liked that it was personal, and the girls said they loved our own vows.
Band wrapped up around 2.30am, and I went to bed. I was wrecked. I heard they had a singing session at the residents bar til 4am though. Glad to hear it, cos I hope everyone stayed up having fun and cos they wanted to. I didn't feel the need to keep it going til all hours though, as we'd had a long enough and awesome enough day already anyway.
Seamstress that took in my dress said she really enjoyed working on it cos it was the first dress she'd seen that wasn't in the style that seemed to be fashionable that year and she was tired of seeing the same style dresses over and over.
My aunt from abroad said they tried making the same starter at home as we had at our wedding cos they liked it so much. It's confit of duck leg, not that rare but unusual dish where they come from. Still when discussing weddings have people comment how much they liked the dessert.
Only one couple told us it was best wedding they'd been at so far. They said they'd hope their own wedding would be like ours (happening this summer). They have the same band booked (by coincidence actually), their invitations were in a similar style and they've gone for a similar style venue.
I think imitation is the best form of flattery, so we're chuffed. I don't think the weddings will be the "same", but I think the style of it would be most like ours and we're really looking forward to it cos it'll probably be most like what we'd enjoy too. Can't wait!
There is one wedding from which I remember the food as being very good. The rest all blend in.
The one regret from our wedding wrt our guests we have is that we didn't provide more finger food after the ceremony. I think they were getting hungry so dinner time was moved up. I don't doubt there may have been some comments passed among the guests about being hungry, I don't blame them. Apart from that, I think the craic was mighty!

nikpmup

After my wedding (and repeatedly afterwards for years) my mother in law cited a long list of complaints about the hotel, the food, the day and the whole goings on in general. I only had the bloody big wedding to keep her happy.

norrie rugger

Senna wrote: »

A large amount of people don't actually know what steak cooking terms mean. If I heard "I'll have it medium but with no red in it" once, I heard it a hundred times.

If I have asked for "medium-well" and had it come back medium once, I have had it happen a hundred times.

norrie rugger

My friends rate other wedding against mine, with mine as the "awesome" benchmark

So screw you all; I'm the best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQHMAphlcAE

Femme_Fatale

dobman88 wrote: »

Of course people are going to tell the B&G it's the best day ever, you can't really say it was crap.

In fairness, it's not like there's only one or the other option. I'd never say a wedding is the best I've been to if it isn't. I'd just say I enjoyed myself (if asked). There's never any requirement to say it's crap.

Frigga_92

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Has anyone ever had guests make any negative comments whatsoever post wedding? If so, on what aspects did they comment?

We had negative comments about the venue rather than the wedding.
The venue ran out of heineken and ran out of some mixers, straws and lemons.
They also ruined our wedding cake by storing it incorrectly and we ended up having to throw away over half of the cake. They then tried to blame this on us, even though we obviously had nothing to do with how they chose to store the cake

The guests were disappointed at not getting any cake.

Despite being marketed as a "fancy" wedding venue, our guests were very let down by the quality of their rooms.
Our room was okay but I think that was just because we had one of the suites (although there were no lightbulbs in all but one of the lamps in our suite so when we went up during the night we could barely see).
Our guests complained that the rooms were quite smelly, old fashioned and poorly maintained (sockets and towel rails hanging off the walls, wallpaper peeling, that sort of thing).

It's definitely not somewhere we will ever return to but obviously we had a wonderful day because it was the day we got married and nothing could make that a bad day.

Aside from that, we got loads of praise that it was a very laidback wedding, which it was, but I think different weddings mean different things to different people. For example, the wedding of a close family member or friend may seem more fantastic than the wedding of a distant relative.

LynnGrace

Toots* wrote: »

One wedding I was at (actually was a BM at so it was extra cringey) the groom and best man's speech was laden with expletives, seriously every second word was fcuk. It was awful. Really awful. I was at the top table and looking around you could just see the shocked expressions on the guest's faces. Mother of the bride looked like she was going to die of shame, and the bride wasn't very impressed either. Worst part was that they did the speeches before dinner, so we had to sit there for the whole meal after the speeches which were received about as well as a fart in a space suit.

Nobody said anything to the B&G directly, but it was talked about by a lot of the guests during the dinner and the rest of the reception. In fact now, 8 years later, it still comes up whenever anyone is planning a wedding and mentions speeches. Seriously, if you wrote a book called "Stuff you shouldn't do under any circumstances during the speeches" it would come with a bonus DVD with footage from this wedding.

Oh that must have been awful. It would have been better having no speeches rather than that.

You could be onto something there Toots* with the book and DVD idea though

Ann Landers

Gatica wrote: »

Isn't it good if couples think their wedding was the best? It's better than them having regrets cos those other 3 weddings were better, etc...

I understand that the bride and groom really want everything to go well and for everyone to enjoy themselves, because so much planning has gone into and the B&G are usually mindful of the organisation it might take for some people to attend. I've seen some marrying couples suffering a lot of anxiety over that!

But for some couples, there is most definitely a competitive element to it. So many people try to find their unique angle for the wedding, and some of that is most definitely down to one-upmanship.

norrie rugger

Ann Landers wrote: »

I understand that the bride and groom really want everything to go well and for everyone to enjoy themselves, because so much planning has gone into and the B&G are usually mindful of the organisation it might take for some people to attend. I've seen some marrying couples suffering a lot of anxiety over that!

But for some couples, there is most definitely a competitive element to it. So many people try to find their unique angle for the wedding, and some of that is most definitely down to one-upmanship.

Or trying to make it stand out from every other wedding that people attend, attempting to make it more enjoyable. They can get very samey and boring, especially if you have several to attend in a short space of time

lazygal

Does posting a trip advisor review count as feedback for the couple?

We had a Fawlty Towers experience at two weddings, nothing to do with the wedding itself but the accommodation aspect. We posted negative feedback on the website, clearly outlining our grievances, but I don't know if the couples involved were aware of our reviews.

lazygal

norrie rugger wrote: »

Or trying to make it stand out from every other wedding that people attend, attempting to make it more enjoyable. They can get very samey and boring, especially if you have several to attend in a short space of time

I've been to one of the weddings where they crammed every single possible fad into it, candy buffet, sky lanterns, magician during the drinks reception, loads of stuff like that, but there was really skimpy food and drinks during the post ceremony reception and the wine pours were few and fear between at the meal. It really made me wonder why they spent so much time and money on forced jollity when a few extra bottles of wine and more food would've been brilliant.

norrie rugger

lazygal wrote: »

I've been to one of the weddings where they crammed every single possible fad into it, candy buffet, sky lanterns, magician during the drinks reception, loads of stuff like that, but there was really skimpy food and drinks during the post ceremony reception and the wine pours were few and fear between at the meal. It really made me wonder why they spent so much time and money on forced jollity when a few extra bottles of wine and more food would've been brilliant.

That's to do with bad planning and not with trying to make the wedding stand out a bit.

Get the basics right first then any flourishes afterwards.

pwurple

One of my uncles told me he didn't like the red wine we provided... Think that was about it. I didn't like the red wine myself either, but the bloody venue wouldn't allow corkage and we had to choose from their three rubbish house wines.

stargazer 68

lazygal wrote: »

I've been to one of the weddings where they crammed every single possible fad into it, candy buffet, sky lanterns, magician during the drinks reception, loads of stuff like that, but there was really skimpy food and drinks during the post ceremony reception and the wine pours were few and fear between at the meal. It really made me wonder why they spent so much time and money on forced jollity when a few extra bottles of wine and more food would've been brilliant.

This! My sister is getting married next week and during the planning we looked at candy carts, caricaturists, etc etc. They then decided not to bother and to put the extra cash into upgrading the food and plenty of wine as well as an open toast. No one ever talks about the 'pretty little bags' or matchbooks but you can be sure they will complain about rubbish food and no booze!

Milly33

That must have been hard trying to keep your patience with 26sdrawkcab. it seems a lot of the bad ones are when you try too hard or is down to grumpy staff. Jes ours is just going to fab!! haha only messing. I remember my cousins wedding in Clon which was great just lovely and relaxed everyone seemed to be in good form the worst was an unplanned one for the guests.

suppose tis hard to keep everyone happy

Galwayguy35

I was at one wedding where I genuinely could say it was the best one I was at, all the guests were local or from the place I worked in at the time and everyone knew each other.

Unfortunately the wedding day was the best bit for the B and G as they were in the divorce courts a short time after.

Stepping Stone

I think a lot of people just don't think too much about these comments but ironically, I do know one person who had a notoriously bad wedding that constantly trots this out. They skimped on everything, the food was poor and there wasn't much of it. The venue was almost two hours from the church. The worst thing was the entertainment. They had a ceili band for the entertainment. No dj, nothing else. It was painful. The dance floor was full of old people and unusually, most of the younger people left the room. It finished around one, so they saved themselves money by having tea and biscuits instead of the usual stuff to keep you going.

Another one that sticks out in my mind was a winter wedding. It was cold, windy and wet but the B&G insisted that all the guests stay for group photos outside the church. The bride told me that it didn't turn out as they had expected because everyone looked cold, wet, miserable and unhappy. No wonder. We were soaked to the skin and didn't have the option of changing after. The bride and groom were in the church door so didn't suffer like everyone else. Needless to say, everyone that was at it from our group only talks about how awful it was.

I generally enjoy weddings, but sometimes they can go horribly wrong.

Gatica

lazygal wrote: »

I've been to one of the weddings where they crammed every single possible fad into it, candy buffet, sky lanterns, magician during the drinks reception, loads of stuff like that

I actually genuinely do not get/understand this thing that some people have with "entertaining" grown men and women. Why would I want to watch a magician or Irish dancers at a wedding? If I want to see a circus, I'll just go to one, or maybe a carnival.
I don't find a wedding to be the right time for it. It's like an adult cannot be trusted to entertain himself for a couple of hours before dinner. It's the kind of thing that's usually needed for kids to keep them from going bonkers while the adults chill and mingle.

I know that some couples really like to do this, and that's their business, but it just seems really odd to me... Don't get me wrong, if I don't want to watch it, I won't and no skin off my nose (just hope I didn't offend someone who really went all out on this)

norrie rugger

Stepping Stone wrote: »

I think a lot of people just don't think too much about these comments but ironically, I do know one person who had a notoriously bad wedding that constantly trots this out. They skimped on everything, the food was poor and there wasn't much of it. The venue was almost two hours from the church. The worst thing was the entertainment. They had a ceili band for the entertainment. No dj, nothing else. It was painful. The dance floor was full of old people and unusually, most of the younger people left the room. It finished around one, so they saved themselves money by having tea and biscuits instead of the usual stuff to keep you going.

Just out of curiosity, would these people normally skimp on things or were they tight for cash and needed to make it stretch?

Stepping Stone

norrie rugger wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, would these people normally skimp on things or were they tight for cash and needed to make it stretch?

They are loaded. Their parents are loaded. They just wouldn't spend it. This was what made it bad, not that they didn't have it and did their best, but they made the decision not to spend it. You will be glad to know that the money they got as presents not only covered the cost of the wedding and honeymoon but they had €3k left over.

hoodwinked

norrie rugger wrote: »

Just out of curiosity, would these people normally skimp on things or were they tight for cash and needed to make it stretch?

does that really matter? no matter what the cost, you can organise something fun, if you book something you can't afford thats on you,