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Do you have a stoner ruining your life?

david75

My OH is the most unmotivated selfish life sucking waster I've ever met. I'll be done for murder eventually. Can't do the simplest thing like cleaning up after himself. And any important stuff like funerals/weddings, lets me down every time. He didn't even come to my ma's funeral.

Anyone else got this problem and anyone got any ideas how to scrape this Sh!t off or at least make things change?

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Davarus Walrus

He's dependent on a drug. One that sucks the vim, pep and soul out of regular users. What makes it all the more tragic is that stoners believe that their choice of drug is somehow a harmless one. 'But no one ever has died from smoking weed' is one of the good ones. Neither has LSD. They argue for the virtues of their vice with all the indignation of a bible basher.

Stoners are the most lucid argument against the legalisation of that most nefarious and subtly sinister of drugs.

ardle1

Are you in a gay relationship(your user name),, or did you just put no thought into it .. Now my post is funny innit!... oh btw leave him, it's then he will realise he's taking you for granted.. Now that doesn't mean you'll go back to him! I still miss her sniffle sniffle. ........ Yes even though when she left me, I realised I had taken my X for granted, she never came back

But I have changed! Really....

Thoie

david75 wrote: »

Thanks folks. I'd leave right now except I love this house and put so much work into it. Getting him to leave is the tricky bit. We've come close but there's usually a last minute reprieve.
I probably just have to move. Or at least be seen to look

It's a house - you can do it all again. Your sanity is harder to reclaim. If you end up beating the lazy sod to death with the dirty dishes it'll be harder again.

Look for a houseshare, or else somewhere you can afford to rent on your own, then walk out.

david75

Thoie wrote: »

It's a house - you can do it all again. Your sanity is harder to reclaim. If you end up beating the lazy sod to death with the dirty dishes it'll be harder again.

Look for a houseshare, or else somewhere you can afford to rent on your own, then walk out.

That's looking most likely. There is also the dog to consider. If he goes he'll just palm the dog off on his ma. Yet insists its his dog. I do all the walking feeding vet stuff cleaning up dogs poo, everything. And I mean everything. Ugh

Pain in my balls with this. Sorry for whinging

handbagmad

A house is only bricks and mortar. From the sounds of it you're second choice to his weed. By you staying there you are enabling him to continue.
either make the decision you go or he goes. You can keep making excuses all you like but will things change?
It will be hard but in time life will be so much better. ;-)

handbagmad

Davarus Walrus wrote: »

He's dependent on a drug. One that sucks the vim, pep and soul out of regular users. What makes it all the more tragic is that stoners believe that their choice of drug is somehow a harmless one. 'But no one ever has died from smoking weed' is one of the good ones. Neither has LSD. They argue for the virtues of their vice with all the indignation of a bible basher.

Stoners are the most lucid argument against the legalisation of that most nefarious and subtly sinister of drugs.

very TRUE. I've seen many relationships and people destroyed by dependance on that horrible ****e.
Not so harmless as some folk would think

markesmith

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8g3XXLTUpo

Thoie

david75 wrote: »

That's looking most likely. There is also the dog to consider. If he goes he'll just palm the dog off on his ma. Yet insists its his dog. I do all the walking feeding vet stuff cleaning up dogs poo, everything. And I mean everything. Ugh

Pain in my balls with this. Sorry for whinging

Whinge away, it's a trying situation. Just make sure when you leave that you've made some arrangements for the dog. Don't trust a stoner to sort it out. If the house falls down around his ears, that's one thing, but don't leave the poor dog in that kind of situation.

david75

I'm of the opinion tht it's beyond insidious as a drug.
It's worse than heroin. At least junkies get up and do their thing, even if that means crime or whatever.
Stoners. They don't seem to even be able to do the simplest thing. For themselves or anyone else.

superglue

My flat mate is ruining my life. Smoked all my weed last night, the feckin' stoner.

Davarus Walrus

handbagmad wrote: »

very TRUE. I've seen many relationships and people destroyed by dependance on that horrible ****e.
Not so harmless as some folk would think

It's the dirtiest and most soul destroying drug for regular users. Most stoners used to go on about it being non addictive. But always felt the need to have it. The people who couldn't seperate the occasional from the twice weekly. And then the daily.

It's a real nasty one. It ruins good people. But it's almost seen as being socially acceptable. :-(

sabat

The man's decided to pass his time on the planet being stoned and that's his decision whereas you're the one on morally thin ice here seeing as you're only staying with him for monetary reasons. And why is everyone so down on the weed in this scenario? It's not her fault she's so awesome...

jigglypuffstuff

Boombastic wrote: »

Tbh, he just sounds like a lazy, selfish pr#£k

Ah, I see you need him for half the rent, that makes you a prostitute...sorry

david75 wrote: »

My OH is the most unmotivated selfish life sucking waster I've ever met. I'll be done for murder eventually. Can't do the simplest thing like cleaning up after himself. And any important stuff like funerals/weddings, lets me down every time. He didn't even come to my ma's funeral.

Anyone else got this problem and anyone got any ideas how to scrape this Sh!t off or at least make things change?

Tag team OP??

I'll do the murdering

you do the cleaning up?

Boombastic

sabat wrote: »

The man's decided to pass his time on the planet being stoned and that's his decision whereas you're the one on morally thin ice here seeing as you're only stating with him for monetary reasons. And why is everyone so down on the weed in this scenario? It's not her fault she's so awesome...

Oh no, but stoners can't do anything for themselves, even worse is someone who depends on one to pay their rent, because the are not a stoner and can do so much for themselves, especially make excuses as to why they couldn't leave the stoner

The irony in this thread is strong

stpaddy99

I do and he costs me time and money, but liberals tell me not to judge and im at fault for not forgiving him and accepting the way he is......it sounda like Christianity, but these same people hate Jesus and tear down Christianity every chance they get?

david75

Seems to be a really divisive topic. Never was able to stomach regular users patronising and condescending of anyone who speaks out against it though. They're usually the most vociferous.

david75

Just realising it.
I'm enabling. If there's no toilet paper, I buy it. If the electric toothbrushes are dead after him using them, I plug them in. Yadda yadda etc

zenno

And Slowly, And Surely, They Drew Their Plans Against us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl2X4Ipm9oI

[Deleted User]

zenno wrote: »

And Slowly, And Surely, They Drew Their Plans Against us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl2X4Ipm9oI

Damn it you missed the best part of the whole thing!

sawdoubters

its a gray area this problem

Chris The Hacker

Ring the Guards and have him arrested for possession.

The Narrator

ardle1 wrote: »

Are you in a gay relationship(your user name),, or did you just put no thought into it .. Now my post is funny innit!... oh btw leave him, it's then he will realise he's taking you for granted.. Now that doesn't mean you'll go back to him! I still miss her sniffle sniffle. ........ Yes even though when she left me, I realised I had taken my X for granted, she never came back But I have changed! Really....

I don't even.....emmm.....ehhh...I....ehhh.....what?

Arbiter of Good Taste

I'm taking the tough love approach here. You have no one else to blame but yourself. Your partner is a loser. Is that the kind of person you want to be shackled to? And frankly you are an enabler.

There is a lot of good advice here, but all you're saying is "but, but, but...."

"But what about the house?"
"But what about the dog?"
"But what about the rent?"

You seem to have a list of excuses ready to avoid having to take responsibility and be an adult.

A house is a house, there are other houses. You need the rent? Move somewhere smaller, or get a new housemate. The dog? Come on! Is the dog tied to the house or something? Take it with you.

You have not given one good reason to stay, and plenty of good reasons to go. So (wo)man up, pack your bags and go. Relationships aren't supposed to be perfect, but at the very least shouldn't the good times outweigh the bad?

Femme_Fatale

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

I'm taking the tough love approach here. You have no one else to blame but yourself.

Hardly. A fair wack of the blame is obviously to be attributed to the person with the destructive cannabis habit.

Angry_Mammarys

He's got no respect for you, and I'm willing to bet your self esteem is pretty low at the moment over how he's behaving, you deserve alot better than that treatment, look for a new housemate pronto, life is way too short to be miserable! also I'd be wary of the friend and husband if they know how miserable this is making you, and he still sells it to your partner.

Alf Veedersane

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Hardly. A fair wack of the blame is obviously to be attributed to the person with the destructive cannabis habit.

The only person you can blame for the decisions you do or don't make is yourself.

Says I To Bridey

Worst thread I've read this month

mikom

david75 wrote: »

My OH is the most unmotivated selfish life sucking waster I've ever met. I'll be done for murder eventually. Can't do the simplest thing like cleaning up after himself. And any important stuff like funerals/weddings, lets me down every time. He didn't even come to my ma's funeral.

Anyone else got this problem and anyone got any ideas how to scrape this Sh!t off or at least make things change?

I call bullshit on this.
You can't be a gaylord and a stoner............... boards only allows you to sit within one stereotype at a time.

bodice ripper

being a lazy stoner > a user who stays with a partner they hate just to get the rent paid.

do the decent thing and leave him

Maguined

Stop blaming the weed and blame the man. He makes his choices not the weed. He is clearly lazy and inconsiderate and you are clearly in an unfair relationship with someone that doesn't care about you.

Time to move on with your life before you waste any more time on them.