pluto2 wrote: » People have no idea actually how common this is among marriages. So exactly as said a trip to see Candy 2 or 3 times a month keeps the man smiling. Escorts are a god send. I smile all the bigger when I get home for my tea.
Kevlar Bay wrote: » You should do the decent thing and break up.
Deleted User wrote: » Too f*cking right I am! Living in a world where sex is going on everywhere, thrown in our faces in the media and films, and not finding a female to actually do it with? That's what drove me to a hooker in the first place :mad:
Shrills wrote: » You can expect that all you want, but reality disagrees. Just look at the number of overweight people. People for the most part are driven by their emotions on a moment to moment basis. Will power usually loses.
In Ireland at the present time 39% of adults are overweight and 18% are obese. Of these, slightly more men than women are obese and there is a higher incidence of the disease in lower socio-economic groups.
Czarcasm wrote: » No question that it's human instinct to indulge, but there's also our higher brain function that helps us exercise self-control. The hungry fat person on a diet is also capable of exercising self-control, even if you put them in a room full of sweets and junk food. We make allowances for children who are not mature enough yet to understand, let alone exercise self control, but fully grown adults are expected to know better.
Deleted User wrote: » Hmm, think I see where you're coming from now. And.......I don't disagree with you. The only doubt I'd have with your idea is that I can't imagine any woman who would accept their husband/boyfriend visiting an escort every now and again. I'd love to marry a woman who'd accept me satisfying my urges once a month or something like that, but I don't think it would be possible for me to get that lucky.
Shrills wrote: » It's reality, put a hungry fat person on a diet in a room of sweets and junk food and see what happens. People give in to their urges all the time, it's human nature. I don't judge it.
poundapunnet wrote: » Sorry, I think that's a cop-out. If you have so little control over your sexual urges, do not put yourself in a position where you will be tempted. By your logic you could see a girl passed out on a couch, lose control of yourself and have sex with her, and not be to blame because you're just following your nature. If your answer to that is "that's rape, rape is wrong and totally different" then it just shows that you absolutely can control your sexual urges, you just don't think your partner's expectation of monogamy is a good enough reason. If that's somebody's position, that's fine, just don't use the cop out of "I'm a man and sometimes I have absolutely no ability to resist temptation, deal with it".
CK73 wrote: » I apologise. I mean a marriage that started off being sexual and then ceased to be. So not one for convenience, but based on love and mutual lust. This is when one partner ceases to want what was originally accepted as part of the relationship and often an important part of the relationship.
Sure people get married in registry offices now, but I'm not sure that has always been possible? Plus it is religion that points out that marriage = sex and without the marriage you should not have sex, so it kind of uses a carrot to get people to Marry and then doesn't tell you what you are meant to do when the carrot has gone.
poundapunnet wrote: » I have nothing against non-monogamous relationships, swinging, escorts, anything. I do have a problem with people carrying out such a fundamental deception because they selfishly want to have their cake and eat it too: they want this partner and that sex life and bugger what she wants, it's grand if she doesn't find out. It is NOT a close relationship if you are lying about seeking sex outside it. The other partner is having a completely imaginary relationship, the monogamous, trusting relationship they think they have doesn't exist, and no matter how much escorts allow you to maintain that illusion and have a quiet life, it's still an illusion. I don't see how it can be justified.
CK73 wrote: » The difference between a man booking an Escort and a women poking a hole in a condom are worlds apart. They both hold deception as the starting point, but that is where it ends. Bringing a life into this world is not the right of one person, as half of the genetic make up of that child belongs to the man. The child deserves to have a Father, or at least know who the Father is. The child will need looking after and they are not cheap. You are therefore either denying or pushing a life long responsibility on to someone without their knowledge. Also, if the lady is not discriminating with whom she is trying to father a child with, she could find he has an STI and pass that on to the child too. Think of HIV for one. Now I have always wanted a daughter and if I had cared to, I could have tricked my ex-husband into creating one with me (although it may have been a boy, but then try again?). However, I would not do this. Not so much out of respect for my ex, but out of respect of the unborn child, who deserves to have two parents that love it. When talking about the creation of life, it is not comparable with sex and please remember that humans were not designed to only have sex for the sake of having children, as we were designed to enjoy it purely for pleasure and sex can decrease the possibility of many illnesses and stress related problems. We were designed to do it life long from adolescents onward.
Chefrio wrote: » I was browsing the escort Ireland forum for sh1ts and giggles and noticed an interesting thread about your first time with an escort or a client. It was mentioned by a few that visiting escorts saved their marriage. Do you think this happens much and is the marriage really saved?
Czarcasm wrote: » Nobody's being told their natural inclinations are wrong. It's the deception that's wrong. Leading another person to believe that they are in a sexually monogamous relationship with a person when they're actually having sex outside the relationship without their partner's knowledge. That's the thing most people have an issue with.
Shrills wrote: » I agree that's what they should do, but due to the monogomy centric society we live in many are brainwashed to think this is wrong or they won't be able to find anyone willing to agree to a relationship like that. People generally just want to feel good, a man could resist 99% of the time his temptation to have sex elsewhere, but then on 1% of occasions he cheats to feel alive and excited again and gives in to temptation. It's in many people's nature to have sex with multiple partners, so don't be surprised when they revert to there natural inclination despite being told it's wrong.
poundapunnet wrote: » Then they should find a partner who's okay with that, and not justify deceiving somebody who's not. Some people need a monogamous relationship with maybe not very much sex to be happy, but they're not being given a choice in the matter. I have nothing against non-monogamous relationships, swinging, escorts, anything. I do have a problem with people carrying out such a fundamental deception because they selfishly want to have their cake and eat it too: they want this partner and that sex life and bugger what she wants, it's grand if she doesn't find out. It is NOT a close relationship if you are lying about seeking sex outside it. The other partner is having a completely imaginary relationship, the monogamous, trusting relationship they think they have doesn't exist, and no matter how much escorts allow you to maintain that illusion and have a quiet life, it's still an illusion. I don't see how it can be justified.
Deleted User wrote: » Agree to disagree with you then. I don't think prostitution is going anywhere though. I think that, like marijuana, we need to regulate, legalise it and protect ALL of those those involved in it, however seedy it may be to some people.
Shrills wrote: » Unless his monogomous partner has the ability to morph into multiple people the sex problem in the relationship can't be sorted out. Some people need sex with multiple partners and a close relationship to feel happy.
Shrills wrote: » My hypocritical opinions have been found out, therefore the reasoning is "semantics". Good one.
poundapunnet wrote: » It's going to have to be agree to disagree on this one I think bud. If sex is SO important to you that it can drive you to emotionally abuse a partner or conceal behaviour from her that you know would be considered a devestating betrayal of trust, then you really need to reassess the relationship. Either find someone whose sexual appetites or attitudes to monogamy chime with yours or do something to try and sort out the sex problem in your existing relationship.
poundapunnet wrote: » If women have casual sex while in a relationship with somebody who does not agree that that's acceptable then it is most definitely a problem. If a man not in a relationship has sex with an escort then that's a completely different situation to what's being discussed here. My point with the poking holes in condoms (which I would see as terrible behaviour) is that a woman could easily justify that to herself "Sure it's just a child, if he saw it the same way I saw it then he wouldn't have a problem with taking a huge risk of pregnancy, but he'll be happy with a child, it'll make the relationship better, so I'll just go ahead and do this without his consent for both our sakes". It's rationalising selfish behaviour, it's completely self-serving, and in that way it's only a difference of degree between that and "She thinks escorts are a big deal, but I need them and I know it's not a big deal, it's good for the relationship even though she most certainly wouldn't agree, so I'll just go ahead and do it without her consent for both our sakes".
CK73 wrote: » You're doing the break down of quotes again, although time after time you apologies for doing so and say you will try not to! This relationship will never work!!!
Okay here is an example of a true story. I met this person before I started my current job by the way, so not quite on topic, but it is most certainly related. The chap in question is in his 50's, he is successful in his work, he is happily married and has a good standard of living. He appears to be sociable and easy to talk to and very intelligent. This man as a hobby makes items of torture for the penis. He makes vices to be correct and he originally made them to be used on himself by Dommes. His wife knows nothing about this, but as he explained to me, without this outlet, he would have likely have committed suicide. As a child he was abused. It was beyond anything you can imagine and he endured it for many years. As an adult he sometimes finds himself overwhelmed with how happy his life is now and how lucky he is to be with someone who loves and respects him and having a good quality of life and when this happens he has huge inward conflict with himself and the world and feels unworthy. His way to of dealing with this moment of crisis, which is very real, is to go to a Domme and recreate the torment he had as a child. He then has vented and is able to continue with his life and being the wonderful husband he is to his wife.Now I'm sure you can think of many things to counter argue my point here, but many people in this world are suffering in silence and because of some kind of trauma are not able to give emotionally or intimately. They may try at first, but often these things do beat them, even with the love of a good partner. I reiterate the fact that nothing is black and white and no one knows what is happening behind closed doors. People can love their partner deeply and be supportive, but they may also have needs and while they are respecting their partner can not for whatever reason be intimate with them, it is very harsh to say they should be denied. If they are happy with their decision, then who is anyone else to tell them how to behave?
Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: » Where do they escort you to?
Deleted User wrote: » Honestly? Probably justification enough. My ex never found out. I know it was dishonest but I don't know if I could make it in a life long relationship (aka marriage) without having incredible urges to have sex with other women. Those urges would drive me insane. Let me put it this way. I've witnessed a lot of marriages where the husband is so sexually frustrated that he'll be passive aggressive towards his wife. In social situations he'll undermine and belittle her opinions, to the point of emotional abuse out of frustration and the feeling of being trapped. To me, guys like this (and their wives) could benefit from him having a no strings-attached release with a professional escort
![Photo of [Deleted User]](https://wc.vanillicon.com/v2/c9236bc67b608c3603b1ed089c896282.svg)
