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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Jaafa

I saw my fair share of these before I deactivated my account.

One of the worst came from an american 'friend'(?) of mine.

She said and I quote:
"Ughhh so stupid...I have to get a visa to go to south america! I mean seriously isn't this the UNITED sates! Ahhhhh....Worst state ever!"

She was promptly removed from my friends list.

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internet of cats

hope ur ok hun

mail xoxo

Comments

coolhull

honerbright wrote: »

Not sure if a piss-take or not, but this is how so many people I know spend their mad/great nights :rolleyes::

Fun night in with the besties — with *blank* and 2 others.
U
Photo of 3 girls on a couch staring into their phones

Hey, don't knock it. If it keeps them off the streets, so much the better.

BNMC

Best FB status (even better comments) ever!

Angela **** (Single Mother with 4 kids from 3 different Daddys, never worked a day in her life): was d allowance cut by 10 euro for 4 kids ?

Leanne ****: yeah msta been hun mine was lower than normal, d basterds
Angela ****: i no hun bastards only 520 in my acount dis morning snakey rats
Leanne ****: the fucking millionaires politicians and shithead bankers get it all they dont care about out kids
Liam ******: At least the politicians and "shithead bankers" work for their money, opening your legs or going through labour doesn't constitute work. You and your ilk make me sick. I pay €94 tax per week, it makes me ill knowing it's all spent on fags and booze by the likes of ye two!!!
Leanne ****: who d fuck are you to talk to me like that ya jumped up little basterd, alm who is this cheeky cunt?
Angela ****: fuck off liam you think your so much better than me dont ya ya bollax
Rachel *****: holy shit ..i only get 245 a month for 4 up here(NI)
Angela ****: wen u convert it rachel dats all wer getting to the euro is a lot of blown up monopoly money worth fuck all at least u no where u ar with sterling
Liam ******: Jesus H Christ..
Angela ****: get off my satis liam fuk sake

There was no more comments, I think a few messages in chat were exchanged. Brightened up my day anyway. :pac:

XxMCRxBabyxX

BNMC wrote: »

Best FB status (even better comments) ever!

Angela **** (Single Mother with 4 kids from 3 different Daddys, never worked a day in her life): was d allowance cut by 10 euro for 4 kids ?

Leanne ****: yeah msta been hun mine was lower than normal, d basterds
Angela ****: i no hun bastards only 520 in my acount dis morning snakey rats
Leanne ****: the fucking millionaires politicians and shithead bankers get it all they dont care about out kids
Liam ******: At least the politicians and "shithead bankers" work for their money, opening your legs or going through labour doesn't constitute work. You and your ilk make me sick. I pay €94 tax per week, it makes me ill knowing it's all spent on fags and booze by the likes of ye two!!!
Leaanne ****: who d fuck are you to talk to me like that ya jumped up little basterd, alm who is this cheeky cunt?
Alma ****: fuck off liam you think your so much better than me dont ya ya bollax
Rachel *****: holy shit ..i only get 245 a month for 4 up here(NI)
Alma ****: wen u convert it rachel dats all wer getting to the euro is a lot of blown up monopoly money worth fuck all at least u no where u ar with sterling
Liam ******: Jesus H Christ..
Alma ****: get off my satis liam fuk sake

There was no more comments, I think a few messages in chat were exchanged. Brightened up my day anyway. :pac:

Off topic but €520?!?!?!?!

Shinaynay

...

MRnotlob606

I guy I know thought that the spire was robbed by 60 men in white vests and chinos ! his status was even featured in the uk yahoo news page today hahahhaha http://uk.news.yahoo.com/someone-facebook-fell-satirical-article-claiming-spire-robbed-121319426.html#SSc2TnD

wnolan1992

BNMC wrote: »

Best FB status (even better comments) ever!

Angela **** (Single Mother with 4 kids from 3 different Daddys, never worked a day in her life): was d allowance cut by 10 euro for 4 kids ?

Leanne ****: yeah msta been hun mine was lower than normal, d basterds
Angela ****: i no hun bastards only 520 in my acount dis morning snakey rats
Leanne ****: the fucking millionaires politicians and shithead bankers get it all they dont care about out kids
Liam ******: At least the politicians and "shithead bankers" work for their money, opening your legs or going through labour doesn't constitute work. You and your ilk make me sick. I pay €94 tax per week, it makes me ill knowing it's all spent on fags and booze by the likes of ye two!!!
Leaanne ****: who d fuck are you to talk to me like that ya jumped up little basterd, alm who is this cheeky cunt?
Alma ****: fuck off liam you think your so much better than me dont ya ya bollax
Rachel *****: holy shit ..i only get 245 a month for 4 up here(NI)
Alma ****: wen u convert it rachel dats all wer getting to the euro is a lot of blown up monopoly money worth fuck all at least u no where u ar with sterling
Liam ******: Jesus H Christ..
Alma ****: get off my satis liam fuk sake

There was no more comments, I think a few messages in chat were exchanged. Brightened up my day anyway. :pac:

I think I speak for most people here when I say, send a message to Liam telling him what a f*cking hero he is and how he's brightened up a lot of people's days with that.

Better yet, just link him to the thread. :pac:

December2012

I "Like" Liam &#55357;&#56397;

sinead88

"why do i have to have the dad that never gives a **** about his kids and only cares about... i know you will be reading this you ****in tosser watch your back dad coz am cummin for you and your junkie alkie slag of a bird whose destroyed the family and al do the good samariton after and at least fone the ****in ambulance after arsehole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

EuskalHerria

Anyone here got some good recording equipment and know someone with a great voice? I think it's about time we had some of these statuses read aloud and recorded. Obviously read exactly as they are written (With subtitles of course).

Bipolar Joe

EuskalHerria wrote: »

Anyone here got some good recording equipment and know someone with a great voice? I think it's about time we had some of these statuses read aloud and recorded. Obviously read exactly as they are written (With subtitles of course).

I was thinking of doing exactly this

EuskalHerria

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I was thinking of doing exactly this !!

If you do all the work, I'll only take 60% of the profits for royalties.

Bipolar Joe

How does 60% of zero sound?

EuskalHerria

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

How does 60% of zero sound?

Sounds like the exam results of most people who's Facebook statuses end up in this thread.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Not so much a dumb status I guess, more of a "why" status.

"It's just been confirmed it was my father they found murdered today. To the person/people who did dis I hope your found alive or the exact same way"

Scar Tissue

EuskalHerria wrote: »

Anyone here got some good recording equipment and know someone with a great voice? I think it's about time we had some of these statuses read aloud and recorded. Obviously read exactly as they are written (With subtitles of course).

Please tell me you've seen the Dead Parrot series on Youtube? Basically the same idea, but with posh old men narrating the comments, it's f*cking hilarious! (There's 4 more videos published, watch them!)

ardle1

I'm so fcuking glad there was no Facebook when I was soooooooooo amazeballlllllllllls happy with my fiancée all those years ago...... Or I'd look like a right DICK now!!:)

crazyderk

Attention all Ladies and Girls

If you walk from home school office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying and holding a piece of paper with an address on it DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE!

take him straight to a police station for this is the new gang way of rape. The incident is getting worse, warn your families. share this so this message can get to everyone.

:rolleyes:

whitewave

EuskalHerria wrote: »

Anyone here got some good recording equipment and know someone with a great voice? I think it's about time we had some of these statuses read aloud and recorded. Obviously read exactly as they are written (With subtitles of course).

If only we could get Benedict Cumberbatch to read them like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNPp74zh8lM

Sinfonia

crazyderk wrote: »

Attention all Ladies and Girls

If you walk from home school office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying and holding a piece of paper with an address on it DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE!

take him straight to a police station for this is the new gang way of rape. The incident is getting worse, warn your families. share this so this message can get to everyone.

:rolleyes:

To be fair, although it's probably overblown, it's not a bad shout considering a lot of people could very well bring the kid to an address if it's nearby, and people ain't always that bright and whatnot..

wildlifeboy

Sinfonia wrote: »

To be fair, although it's probably overblown, it's not a bad shout considering a lot of people could very well bring the kid to an address if it's nearby, and people ain't always that bright and whatnot..

Its a joke!

Paddy Cow

Sinfonia wrote: »

To be fair, although it's probably overblown, it's not a bad shout considering a lot of people could very well bring the kid to an address if it's nearby, and people ain't always that bright and whatnot..

Probably overblown? When have you ever heard even one case such as this on the news?

That_Guy

Girl from my college course posted up a picture of her kid with the following comment from her:

"Soooo hot. #Stunnah"

What the fúck?

idunno78

A blog I follow on fb put up a post asking did anyone know the name of a nail polish along with picture of said nail polish. That also had the name on the front..... I have picture but don't know am I allowed post cos it has name of blog on it!? Suppose not a stupid staus just a stupi question...

Edit - rawn.. On phone, no comp couldn't blank it out! (Save makin new post)

rawn

idunno78 wrote: »

A blog I follow on fb put up a post asking did anyone know the name of a nail polish along with picture of said nail polish. That also had the name on the front..... I have picture but don't know am I allowed post cos it has name of blog on it!? Suppose not a stupid staus just a stupi question...

You can edit out any names first. Just use Paint to blank it out.

EuskalHerria

idunno78 wrote: »

A blog I follow on fb put up a post asking did anyone know the name of a nail polish along with picture of said nail polish. That also had the name on the front..... I have picture but don't know am I allowed post cos it has name of blog on it!? Suppose not a stupid staus just a stupi question...

Had to look at a blog that crops up on my timeline due to friends liking everything on her page. I won't be so crass as to post the name of the blog or facebook. Anyone have a problem with that? So Sue Me.

littleblackDRS

EuskalHerria wrote: »

Had to look at a blog that crops up on my timeline due to friends liking everything on her page. I won't be so crass as to post the name of the blog or facebook. Anyone have a problem with that? So Sue Me.

.... What?

EuskalHerria

littleblackDRS wrote: »

.... What?

Obviously you don't have this facebook page constantly popping up on your timeline. I envy you. There is a clue in there but it's only for the unfortunates familiar with the page.

littleblackDRS

EuskalHerria wrote: »

Obviously you don't have this facebook page constantly popping up on your timeline. I envy you. There is a clue in there but it's only for the unfortunates familiar with the page.

Ahaha ok, I was just starting at that for ages trying to wrap my head around it!

EuskalHerria

littleblackDRS wrote: »

Ahaha ok, I was just starting at that for ages trying to wrap my head around it!

It was a test, you passed.

GarIT

EuskalHerria wrote: »

Obviously you don't have this facebook page constantly popping up on your timeline. I envy you. There is a clue in there but it's only for the unfortunates familiar with the page.

Oh I remember them now, I got so much abuse off them for correcting their spelling and grammar until I was eventually banned, try that and you won't see them again

I love taking the p!ss out of those vague background pics with all sorts of random apparently feel good phrases on them.

"No matr hw ugly nd a horibl prsn u ar their is sum1 out dere dat iz thinkin bout u" written on a on a nice starry coastal image.