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Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons calling to the door

Ranicand

In all honesty you don't see them anymore but it use to be funny.

I told one I was a Devil Worshiper to get rid of him and he went on to tell me about the evils of this kind of thing.

I know they think they are saving our souls.:D

Anybody any funny stories or funny moments?

In fairness these people are harmless and the little books Jehovah's Witnesses use to leave were very funny showing people and Lions and Tigers living together in a future all happy earth.

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guppy

I live quite close to a Mormon worship centre, so I grew up with them knocking weekly. They stopped that practice years ago though, but I did have callers recently. I just said "No thanks" and closed the door. They haven't called since......

A sort of amusing story : Was on the packed bus to Dublin city centre about 20 years ago and two church members got on. They proceeded to try to a "Ghost" (the film) scene by talking about a contagious rash one of them apparently had at the time (in the film, it's set in a packed lift). They found it highly amusing, the rest of us passengers were rolling our eyes so much I'm surprised the bus didnt topple.

I was once accosted in the street by two Asian girls going on about our mother god, whilst I was out for a walk, pushing my very young baby in his pram. I wouldn't put up with it these days, but they kept blocking me and going on and on. I actually felt really intimidated by them and it went on for about a half hour. Every time I tried to walk on, they'd let me move about a foot further. What finally got me away was my son crying for his feed. The best thing about that experience was that I will never allow myself to detained against my will by some ridiculous ingrained need to be polite, no matter what. If it happened again, I'd scream at them if I had to :mad:

kingofslaves

My nieghbour opposite my parents was welsh, the johovahs called to him one day and said 'do you know the first lines in the bible ' he replied 'yes would you like to hear them ?' they said yes so he recited all of genesis in welsh ! He had to learn it when he was at school, they were dumbfounded and left. Funny they never called on him again !!!

Frynge

bluewolf wrote: »

Hamster? what?

As in, I have no idea who did it. It was just an amusing story I once heard.

But on a serious not my dentists cat saw a women leave a pram on a bus because social welfare would just get her a new one.

southdublin87

See them all the time around Melbourne!

ElChe32

Was on erasmus in Sweden living in student apartments - electronic key to get into the building type job - on my floor were 3 apartments my own and two Spanish friends of mine, we'd always leave our doors open when we were home and just hang out in one apartment or the other. Anyway one day taking a quick shower I heard a knock on the door, and thinking it could only be one of my spanish amigos I decided.. **** it i'll answer it bollix naked and scare the ****e out of my friend.. i opened the door to two middle aged ladies with their Jehovah leaflets and prayer books. Supposedly they'd been let into the building by someone and were randomly knocking on doors..well they certainly had their work cut out that day. I politely told them that I no longer believed in organized religion without ever mentioning my own nakedness or making any apology for it. Needless to say I didn't see them the rest of my time there. Those were the days..

Joey the lips

Matt Simis wrote: »

Why though? They want to convert you to their faith, not have you put in lip and ear service for no reason whatsoever. Ruins their time-to-conversion stats for the month.

Simple really. I imagine as a believer in god that Jesus and his crew had th same trouble in there day,,,

johnny_knoxvile

when they call I tend to quote Samuel 15:2,3,7&8

"now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all they have, and spare them not, but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling..."

All this while waving a 16" glow in the dark yellow dildo around wildly usually moves them on.

smurgen

have two friends who are mormons, a bit weird but sound sound none the less, seems constantly happy.My mothers friend has a bunch of Jehovahs who called to her house 10 years ago and they get on really well, still call around every 2 weeks or so for a cup of tea! Last time I was home in Cork I ran into two when I was going up Blarney street and they asked me for directions to Knocknahenny, the poor lads would have been robbed of their back packs and perfect suit jackets if I sent them up to Knocka so I just sent them down Sundays well.

RoboRat

I had a Jehovahs witness call to the door about 2 months ago and I completely melted his head with logic. In fairness, he was actually trying to get away from me rather than the other way around.

I started with his belief in Adam and Eve and moved over to evolution and how it cannot be argued that we evolved and that A&E was symbolic rather than factual - he eventually conceded that. I then moved over to sex before marriage to which he completely disagreed with but I argued that if we evolved then when was marriage introduced. At what stage were we deemed to be conscious human beings and therefore, if it wasn't for copulation, we would never have even evolved to become conscious of a God in the first place. I also then brought up the Christian stance on homosexuality and how it is contradictory to say love one another yet then persecuting individuals for doing exactly that... it went on until I basically had pulled apart everything he was trying to tell me.

Truley

kingofslaves wrote: »

they said yes so he recited all of genesis in welsh ! He had to learn it when he was at school, they were dumbfounded and left. Funny they never called on him again !!!

They probably thought he was speaking in tongues :P

Cantona's Collars

According to Joey Essex on Celebrity Juice last night,Richard & Judy created the world.:pac:
I'd love the Jehovas to call to his house.

kylith

I've had them at the door a couple of times. One lad gave me a bit of attitude when I politely declined to talk to them. I wish I'd given him a piece of my mind; coming to my door disturbing me, then getting all snotty when I said 'no, thanks', the cheeky little sod.

iDave

I was on the 16 bus on Dorset St when a couple of American Mormons tried talking to me about 5 years ago. Said sorry I'm an atheist, I then realised I had my Meath GAA coat on and we came to that humpy little bridge over the canal where you get a full view of Croke Park. I then said thats my religion over there. Instead of them talking about Mormonism I ended up teaching them all about GAA all the way up to Whitehall. One of them asked why i was an atheist, as soon as I mentioned evolution he realised he had brough a knife to a gunfight.

deandean

Not many know this but both JWs and Mormons all carry a stick of chalk, after doorsteppping you they mark the gatepost of your house as they leave, they have special symbols denoting the occupants, e.g. whether you are 'easily convinced', or 'nutter - keep away' or 'potential wealthy benefactor'.

Unfortunately the criminal fraternity became aware of these chalk marks and are exploiting them for their own purposes, see this post:

So if you get a call from JWs and the Mormons (nice though they are

) do clean any chalk mark off your house afterwards. A wet cloth is best.

MRnotlob606

EoghanIRL wrote: »

I'm an atheist thank god.
Still fcukin annoying.

im atheist thank god huh ?

humbert

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

im atheist thank god huh ?

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/483/894/463.jpg

banie01

My own Favourite Mormon story is from my Granda, my aunt joined the Mormon religion in the early '90's and as seems par for the course when one becomes entwined in any of these ''Young'' Religions/Sects,the whole family were subjected to visits and attempted proselytization.
Anyway my Grandad had a voracious appetite for knowledge and as such he read the Book Of Mormon and the other books/literature they offered.
Then came the day when 2 fresh faced Jesus loving, apple pie eating, America is great, Mormon ''Elders''(Aged @22) called to discuss how his life had been changed since discovering Jesus' adventures in the Americas!
After listening to them for a bit, my grandfather proceeded to have a discussion with them about the dangers of magic mushrooms, particularly when someone has either a Messianic complex or Munchausen's syndrome!
They resorted to defending their belief with the mantra of God and faith and belief is knowing, so Granda went onto ask about verifiable archeological proof?
Anything from the native oral traditions or even something from the Semitic/Levant languages or traditions found in the American archeological record that could lend some credence to the basis of their faith?
Rather than blindly following the unverifiable ramblings of a borderline nutter with no actual physical proof other than the statements of some close friends who also just happened to gain great temporal power in their ''church'' through supporting Smith's claim

The 2 boys at that stage just abandoned the discussion and left....

Aglomerado

"Would you like to invite Jesus into your home?"
"Yeah, Ok, but you can wait outside."

A cousin of mine who owned a pub used to get them to clean the gutters and windows.

I don't mind JWs myself, even though I think most of what they preach is nonsense (the cap on numbers getting into heaven / attitude to blood transfusions). I find them far more interesting than Israeli "Artists", Airtricity bellends, "travelling" salespeople and door-to-door chuggers.

Pumpkinseeds

They only knock our door about once a year since they built their own church in the town. They really just call to extend a polite invitation to come to their church, we never do. Mostly we don't answer the door to people we don't know, I wouldn't buy anything from someone selling door to door.

Witchie

Not Jehovah Witnesses or Mormons but one day I had to drop my oldest son over to football practice which was only round the corner. It was too dark for him to walk. My other wee lad was watching something on tv. He was about 7 or 8 so I decided to leave him for the 5 mins I would be gone but warned him not to answer the door to ANYONE.

I arrived back a few mins later to see him reading a Hari Krisna book. I asked how he got that. He told me someone had rang the doorbell and he spoke to them through the letter box. The man asked was I there. My son said no. The man asked would he like a book and being an avid reader he eagerly said yes.

The Hari pushed the book through the letterbox and then asked for a donation. My son said he had no money. The man then said "Hari Krisna" and my son replied "a happy Christmas to you too" it was March.

mayobumblebee

this is why im athiest when i was younger a very close friend was killed this same day the family was organising her funeral the whole estate was devestated some johova witnesses called round to every house and they were asked politely by 5 seperate houses to please not call to that house. They called anyway and told the family that the daughter was going to be trapped in a pergatory type state forever if the family didnt change their ways and beliefs.

i usually dont care what you believe but when you lose your compassion well i still hate those people and hold a grude on a religion i shouldnt i suppose.

Stella Virgo

Ranicand wrote: »

In all honesty you don't see them anymore but it use to be funny.

I told one I was a Devil Worshiper to get rid of him and he went on to tell me about the evils of this kind of thing.

I know they think they are saving our souls.:D

Anybody any funny stories or funny moments?

In fairness these people are harmless and the little books Jehovah's Witnesses use to leave were very funny showing people and Lions and Tigers living together in a future all happy earth.

lowest form of knuckle dragging, brainwashed,child abusing,pondscum on the planet.

ScumLord

They never call to my door, I feel left out. Everyone else is always talking about them but I've only ever seen them walking down a street when visiting a city. Their like leprechauns to me at this stage, I think if they were to call to my door I might invite them in and keep them forever.

Asbury Park

was on summer holidays from college and two Mormons came up to me. This was back before I learnt to firmly say no to door-to-door salespeople, snake oil salesmen etc. so in the heel of the hunt, they found out where I went to college. Convinced them that I wasn't at all interested in being converted so they asked me if I knew anyone who would be and quick as a flash saw an opportunity to get one over on a flatmate who had been a complete d..k to all of us for the past year. Gave them his name and address and lo and behold, they kept calling to the flat until they got him in. They must have called 3 or 4 times over the space of a couple of months and asked for him in person each time. Freaked him out totally.

Ghost Buster

Ranicand wrote: »

In all honesty you don't see them anymore but it use to be funny.

I told one I was a Devil Worshiper to get rid of him and he went on to tell me about the evils of this kind of thing.

I know they think they are saving our souls.:D

Anybody any funny stories or funny moments?

In fairness these people are harmless and the little books Jehovah's Witnesses u
se to leave were very funny showing people and Lions and Tigers living together in a future all happy earth.

Harmless eh. ? No coincidence tgat about 3 months after my wifes high profile mother died after a long battle with cancer these parasites called. They had leaflets all about the after life, seeing loved ones again in heaven if we believe yadda yadda. She took strips off them for preying on the vunerable

Axel Lamp

Aglomerado wrote: »

Israeli "Artists".

Who or what are these?

chughes

Had Jehovahs Witnesses call to the door a few years ago. Being an atheist I love a good theological discussion so I got in a debate about blood transfusions.

I asked them to show me where in the Bible it says you can't have a transfusion. I read the proffered Bible page and my interpretation of the text was that you shouldn't drink the blood of sacrificed animals. I pointed this out and made the point that it was a bit of a stretch of the imagination to equate drinking the blood of sacrificed animals with intravenous blood transfusions.

I then asked what they would do if one of their young relatives was involved in bad accident and needed a transfusion or they would die. The response was almost Jesuitical in that they bounced around the answer in the way a government minister does when asked a straight question. I then accused them of gross irresponsibility and cowardice because, not long beforehand, a young child in hospital, whose parents were Witnesses, was made a ward of court as the parents refused to sanction a life saving transfusion. The child received the transfusion and recovered and was eventually returned to the parents. I asked them what sort of organisation would let children die because of a mad interpretation of a 2,000 year old story.

There was two of them at the door and I must have kept them for about 20 minutes. Their friends pulled up in a car and they said they had to go. Funnily enough, they haven't been back since.

Even though I'm atheist I still make it my business to get some understanding of different religions and their idiosyncrasies. With JWs its the blood transfusions, with Mormons its the polygamy and baptising dead relatives. I get great craic out of baiting them with questions like these.

anncoates

When I lived in West Taught as a kid, two of them legged past me one night panting and puffing and in those weird slack and shirt outfits (with the name badges) that looked like David Byrne in early Talking Heads.

I was wondering what was going on and then about 15 seconds later a motley crew of little bad bastards passed by in hot pursuit.

The next week the two lads were back. On snazzy mountain bikes.

Talk about predation adaptation.:)

KK4SAM

Any room for a joke in here.

What's the difference between a Jehovahs Witnesses and a LADA car.

At least you can close the door on a Jehovahs Witnesses

Pushtrak

Had one knock on the door Christmas day. Seriously. Just saw Watchtower written on something, and before they said anything I just said "not interested" in a eff off kinda way. Too busy Christmas day to have fun mocking 'em or something.