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Child Item

Roadside memorials.

aujopimur

I've just listened to a lady on Joe Duffy complaining about a plaque to her son being removed from a wall near the spot where her child was killed.
I think all these roadside plaques, shrines, headstones, flower beds, statues etc. should be removed and banned.

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Plazaman

Never really got whole roadside memorial thing (although in my younger days genuinely thought people were buried there). Do people go pray at these memorials as well as at the persons grave? Do people regularly visit the memorials or is it just the placing of flowers on the anniversary of an accident?

Having said that they don't bother me much and if they are of some comfort to the family who lost a loved one and as long as they're not a genuine road obstruction or distraction, leave them be. I think the fact that the memorial the OP is on about was placed on a wall, the number one thing that springs to mind is the owner of wall may not have been consulted.

[Deleted User]

Well I have a roadside memorial for my two children who were killed in a car accident. The junction were it happened was known as a danger spot and they were not the first to die there - thankfully however, they were the last due to the fantastic efforts of locals to change the road entirely.

The simple wooden cross that I erected at the time was moved by the council themselves when a roundabout was put in place but it is still present on the road where they died (it's not the only one there unfortunately).

The way I see it, their deaths have saved lives by finally getting the road changed so I'll leave in their forever in their memory. I leave flowers there regularly and I visit it more than I visit their grave. I'm not going to get into a debate about it, and I'm not a bit sorry for it

MonstaMash

^ Sorry for your loss

Mountainsandh

I don't mind the memorials, if they're a comfort to the family, and the reminder for other road users to be careful, then the minimal intrusiveness of some is well made up for.

In France, there are no such memorials, so local authorities have started erecting silhouettes of people who died on the road, and their age, to urge caution for other motorists. That's how effective these memorials are (I think they are).
http://franche-comte.france3.fr/sites/regions_france3/files/styles/top_big/public/assets/images/image_74268499.jpg?itok=Qr8RpNQU

IvyTheTerrible

Mountainsandh wrote: »

I don't mind the memorials, if they're a comfort to the family, and the reminder for other road users to be careful, then the minimal intrusiveness of some is well made up for.

In France, there are no such memorials, so local authorities have started erecting silhouettes of people who died on the road, and their age, to urge caution for other motorists. That's how effective these memorials are (I think they are).
http://franche-comte.france3.fr/sites/regions_france3/files/styles/top_big/public/assets/images/image_74268499.jpg?itok=Qr8RpNQU

There are some small roadside memorials in this part of France (around Montpellier), usually with plastic flowers.

Mountainsandh

Interesting, I'm from Lyon, family mostly between Lyon and Montelimar, never seen anything around those areas anyway. Maybe I don't really pay attention to them. Good few silhouettes now around the area though.

Miss Lockhart

I can't say I've ever seen any tacky ones - they've all been simple wooden crosses or brass plaques,occasionally with flowers. They don't bother me in the slightest.

IvyTheTerrible

Mountainsandh wrote: »

Interesting, I'm from Lyon, family mostly between Lyon and Montelimar, never seen anything around those areas anyway. Maybe I don't really pay attention to them. Good few silhouettes now around the area though.

Well i've seen a few in country roads in the Gard, and the Gard is notorious for bad/dangerous driving.

[Deleted User]

The white crosses on the stretch of N4 into sligo really are a stark reminder of the dangers on our roads. It's quite a humbling spectacle.

IvyTheTerrible

Deleted User wrote: »

The white crosses on the stretch of N4 into sligo really are a stark reminder of the dangers on our roads. It's quite a humbling spectacle.

It's a disgrace that that stretch of road hasn't been upgraded considering how good the rest of the road to Dublin is. The white crosses are frightening.

[Deleted User]

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

It's a disgrace that that stretch of road hasn't been upgraded considering how good the rest of the road to Dublin is. The white crosses are frightening.

And they've just announced they don't intent doing it any time soon!

oppenheimer1

Its hard to know where to stand on this issue. Some roadside memorials are highly ornate monuments, like gravestones and I don't think these should be permitted because if anyone were to hit them then they would cause major damage. Another potential problem is people visiting them. As they tend to be located in accident blackspots and other dangerous places, simply pulling up to lay flowers could cause an accident - though I've never heard of it happening.

On the other hand, simple roadside crosses can give solace to grieving families and preventing them from going up, or taking them down just causes unnecessary hurt and grief when they are harmless. Roadside crosses can also send a powerful safety message too. I remember a stretch of road and I think it had twenty odd crosses on it. They always reminded me to be careful on it.

Ipro

Almost ran someone over New Year's Day on the N7 ,

Guy parked in hard shoulder to put flowers or something like that at one. Guy had to walk back into slow/1st lane to get back into his car with on comming traffic. Pretty risky dangerous in my opinion.

A lot of these things are in accident black spots which is obviously a very dangerous place to erect one / put flowers/visit one.

I think their a nice idea but that their not really thought out properly.

On the positive side though any time I come across one it reminds me to take extra caution and pay more attention to the road (more effective than ' slow down' road signs)

I guess they have their pros and cons.

I think they should be erected with permission but that if their in a dangerous spot that people should be banned from visiting / putting flowers there as it's often a hazard but that's opening a new tin of worms on joe Duffey

Bogger77

Ipro wrote: »

Almost ran someone over New Year's Day on the N7 ,

Guy parked in hard shoulder to put flowers or something like that at one. Guy had to walk back into slow/1st lane to get back into his car with on comming traffic. Pretty risky dangerous in my opinion.

Sounds like you were not paying enough attention when driving, if you almost ran them over, when driving always expect to find broken down cars, animals etc on the road

Duck's hoop

How anybody can find anything 'offensive' or 'distasteful' or 'tacky' about a memorial is beyond me.

If and when I notice them I almost always get a 'there but for the grace of God' moment.

It's a bit pitiful if you're actually annoyed by another human's effort to assuage, in some tiny way, a huge sense of loss.

Pumpkinseeds

Duck's hoop wrote: »

How anybody can find anything 'offensive' or 'distasteful' or 'tacky' about a memorial is beyond me.

If and when I notice them I almost always get a 'there but for the grace of God' moment.

It's a bit pitiful if you're actually annoyed by another human's effort to assuage, in some tiny way, a huge sense of loss.

You're entitled to your opininion but there is a massive difference between a small and discreet cross and a hulking great slab of concrete with or without headstone/cross. I regularly travel by bus to Galway and some of the roadside memorials are ridiculously big and unnecessary. I understand that some people want some sort of memorial to mark the spot where there loved ones lost their lives. I just don't think very large memorials are the way to do that. I've seen a couple that have such large concrete slabs, they could actually be mistaken for graves.

amorphous

How come you never see any in hospitals?

Galwayguy35

There are maybe 3 headstones on the old Galway/Dublin road between Oranmore and Loughrea, they are up against the stone wall and in nobodys way.

I'm genuinely amazed people seem to have an issue with this.

Sleepy

If they give the bereaved some measure of comfort and aren't posing a hazard to other's safety what harm tbh...

Days 298

People have little to get annoyed with nowadays.

Imagine........

Dear parents of deceased child.
Please remove the tasteless eyesore to your lost love done from the roadside. Those with little to do are up in arms that you have defied planning regulations and is causing visual displeasure to a few.

City Council.

All well and good giving out about them on the internet but Id imagine few would say it to the person face who erected its.

Pumpkinseeds

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

There are maybe 3 headstones on the old Galway/Dublin road between Oranmore and Loughrea, they are up against the stone wall and in nobodys way.

I'm genuinely amazed people seem to have an issue with this.

We must be travelling on different roads.

barone

is there nothing more pressing you think needs changing in this world of ours than memorial's to those who are not living anymore,small one's at that .

if i die that way id like 1 to mark the spot i died,just so anyone who cared could tip their hat,or nod their head as they passed,or if someone came home from abroad and wanted to visit the spot its their for them too.. i dont see any downsides to them.

unless people park illegally/dangerously to view them.

Galwayguy35

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

We must be travelling on different roads.

They are ordinary sized headstones, there is a hard shoulder and they are in from that again by the wall.

I travel that road everyday so I've a fair idea what I'm talking about.

ctrl-alt-delete

I don't see the problem with them,

I have never seen more substantial ones than the two side by side below though, even worked around with the N4 upgrades as you can see.

Has anyone seen bigger ones?

http://omg.wthax.org/6XTekT.png

Pumpkinseeds

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

They are ordinary sized headstones, there is a hard shoulder and they are in from that again by the wall.

I travel that road everyday so I've a fair idea what I'm talking about.

Good for you, well done.

poundapunnet

I kind of like them, perverse as that sounds. It's unique to this country, it reminds you to drive safe, and if gives some small solace or sense of meaning to bereaved families then all the better. I'd say they mean quite a lot to the families, describing them as tacky is pretty fcuking tacky lads.

Cedrus

Most I've seen are small and no problem to anybody and if they give the family solace then I'm all in favour of memorials.
However I know of two places where 'joy riders' hit domestic gateposts and the families tried to turn another families homeplace into shrines, it is these extremes that can be objectionable.

Cork Lass

I find these memorials at the side of a road quite distracting to be honest. On a particular stretch of road from Cork city to West Cork there are numerous memorials on the roadside. This is a fairly notorious stretch of road to begin with and the distraction caused by these can only make matters worse. I feel sorry for people who have lost loved ones in tragic accidents but don't agree with these being erected.

My name is URL

Cedrus wrote: »

However I know of two places where 'joy riders' hit domestic gateposts and the families tried to turn another families homeplace into shrines, it is these extremes that can be objectionable.

Yeah, I know of a similar one and thought it a bit cheeky for the family to ask to have a headstone erected outside of someone's home. The guy was drunk while driving and also severely injured another driver when he crashed. What are the owners of the house supposed to say when a grieving family asks if they can do such a thing? =/

It's a big gawky looking yoke too.. and it's on a scenic road. I don't think they should be banned or anything like that but there should be some restrictions on the type of memorial and location of them. Right outside someone's house is hardly the place for them.

rubadub

Cedrus wrote: »

However I know of two places where 'joy riders' hit domestic gateposts and the families tried to turn another families homeplace into shrines, it is these extremes that can be objectionable.

That's the ones I reckon people could understandably find objectionable. Some are serving a similar function as accident blackspot signs, and nowhere near homes. I know of one memorial near me which is on at a spot that I would consider very safe, it is small & discreet but it is outside someones house. I did wonder if they had to get permission from the owner and if subsequent owners could object.

I doubt estate agents would advise people to tell potential buyers if a murder took place in their house, and similarly some potential buyers might be put off at the thought of a memorial outside the house which they have to look at each day.