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Where do you move out when moving out from parents?

moving out

For instance, I am from Dublin, I live with my parents in the suburbs here and I want to move out. I have looked on sites such as daft.ie, myhome.ie, gumtree, property.ie etc but I really don't know what I should be looking for. I want a place where I can bring girls to as I've been unable to do so living with my parents. I'm having a lot of difficulty figuring this out. Is it normal for people to have no idea what to do in this regard? I'm professionally diagnosed with autism. Is that the reason?

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Boombastic

moving out wrote: »

I do have a bank account but I'm not good when it comes to using it. How will I practice these things?

Just use it more often. Get paid in to it, go from there

Regarding the money/buisness language, if you can clarify whats confusing you, we may be able to help!

my teapot is orange

moving out wrote: »

I don't but like I said before, I am already around a noisy environment and it's stressful as well. Also, if they want to party all the time that would be a good thing since I'd likely be able to join them.

I do all of these things already, although doing laundry for me just consists of keeping my clothes to be washed in a basket and then putting them in a washing machine followed by a dryer (and ironing shirts). Are you saying it's more complicated than this when I am living in a shared house (apart from bringing them to a launderette when there is no washing machine)?

If you really do all of your own chores already, there isn't much difference on that score.

But the question of getting along with your housemates and being accepted by them is vitally important to your success and happiness. Some people are mean. Some people aren't accepting of a new housemate. They can be nasty in all kinds of ways. There can be bullying with no parents to intervene. This could happen anywhere. It's a risk you take moving in with new people. But minimize the risk , by avoiding this during such an important stage of your life as when preparing for your final exams.

Now, I'm not trying to suggest you would never get along with others. It might be fine. They might be very nice. But it's a risk for anyone and that is why I say that I wouldn't recommend anyone to move in with strangers in their final year. Wait a few months. If you have any problems then you can rethink your decision with less pressure.

[Deleted User]

You can't really practice with banking, but you should look into Online banking as it gives you better control and insight into your bank history and what exactly is going on with your account.

Meauldsegosha

moving out wrote: »

I'm talking more about the business and money language being thrown around. That sticky only introduced more.

Any bank web site will explain direct debits etc.

moving out

my teapot is orange wrote: »

If you really do all of your own chores already, there isn't much difference on that score.

I do all of the chores you listed on my own. I can't think of any other ones.

But the question of getting along with your housemates and being accepted by them is vitally important to your success and happiness. Some people are mean. Some people aren't accepting of a new housemate. They can be nasty in all kinds of ways. There can be bullying with no parents to intervene. This could happen anywhere. It's a risk you take moving in with new people. But minimize the risk , by avoiding this during such an important stage of your life as when preparing for your final exams.

Now, I'm not trying to suggest you would never get along with others. It might be fine. They might be very nice. But it's a risk for anyone and that is why I say that I wouldn't recommend anyone to move in with strangers in their final year. Wait a few months. If you have any problems then you can rethink your decision with less pressure.

OK but in these months I will be researching it.

lukesmom

moving out wrote: »

So how will I change my approach and flat decisions based on this? Bringing home different women regularly would certainly be a thing I'd be doing.

Stud muffin! Or Stud Bluffin?

my teapot is orange

moving out wrote: »

I do all of the chores you listed on my own. I can't think of any other ones.

OK but in these months I will be researching it.

Yes, I think that's a great idea. You will have a lot more information if you have months to research. The sources provided by Mr. S and others are very good.

moving out

Mr.S wrote: »

This is getting a bit off topic now...

The banking talk is actually related and it was one of the first things I was thinking about when I decided I wanted to move out. In order to move out I'll have to be dealing with money, getting the money to the landlord etc.

Essentialy, if you want to move out, use daft.ie and the "sharing" section is pretty usefull for renting rooms in houses.

That is the site I use most.

You mention you're in College, with the second term starting soon, there should be cancellations in Student Accommodation in likes of UCD, DCU, TCD, ITT etc. This is probably the easiest option as you wouldn't have to worry with bills. Or get onto your Student Union and they should be able to provide you with a list if accom near college. I'm not sure what college your in, but in mine there is notice boards around the SU with people looking for people to house share, rooms to rent etc. Take a look there.

Again, since this is all new to you, talk to someone in your Student Union and they can help you loads with budgeting, bank accounts, leases etc. Its good to meet someone face to face to explain it all.

OK I'll look into this.

moving out

One thing I have been thinking about is electricity. How do you tell whether the person is lying to you about how much electricity you are using and prove it?

[Deleted User]

Definitely go to your Student Union and talk to them about these issues.

moving out wrote: »

One thing I have been thinking about is electricity. How do you tell whether the person is lying to you about how much electricity you are using and prove it?

It's not how much electricity you use. It doesn't work that way - you receive a monthly or bi-monthly bill, depending on the specific company, and this is divided up between however many people live in the house.

If you have any suspicions, ask to see the bill yourself. Educate yourself on how to read it properly and how to tell whether it is an estimated bill or if someone came to read the meter. If it was an estimate, you can ask for your meter to be read, but be aware that the bill could go up just as much as it could go down.

my teapot is orange

moving out wrote: »

One thing I have been thinking about is electricity. How do you tell whether the person is lying to you about how much electricity you are using and prove it?

There are a few ways.

You could have the electricity account transferred into your name, so that you receive and pay the bills directly.

Another option is that the landlord might ask you to pay the bill which is in their name, in which case they would provide you with it first.

More unusually, the bills might be included in the rent so it does't matter how much you use, you pay the same anyway.

wirelessdude01

moving out wrote: »

One thing I have been thinking about is electricity. How do you tell whether the person is lying to you about how much electricity you are using and prove it?

Bill is generally spilt by the amount of people living in the property. If it is a little high just ask the person whose name is on the bill can you have a look.

Honestly OP you sound like you haven't a clue how the real world actually functions. Sorry if that is a little harsh but it is how you are coming across via your answers/questions/attitude on this thread.

Meauldsegosha

moving out wrote: »

One thing I have been thinking about is electricity. How do you tell whether the person is lying to you about how much electricity you are using and prove it?

Utility bills (electricity, gas) and services bills (bin charges, television license and/or package) are spilt equally between the renters. You can ask to see copies of the bills.

Be aware though if you are planning on bringing a lot of guests back to the house, your housemates may ask you to contribute more if your guests are using the showers etc (ie electricity and heating).

Boombastic

Regarding the electricity bill, ask your parents to show you theirs, to explain to you how it works/ how you know if it's an estimate or not and how to pay it..

Would you be familar with grocery shopping, cooking meals etc?

Big Bag of Chips

In a house share all bills are split equally by the number of people living in the house. You cannot "prove" how much electricity you use or how much you should be paying for, so the fairest way is everyone just pays the same amount.

When I asked earlier if you are part of a support group, I didn't mean having a relative to talk to. I meant someone like Autism Ireland. You are talking about taking a huge life step, with what would seem very little life experience. If you go into a house share totally and utterly clueless as to how things are supposed to work you will either get taken for a complete fool, and end up doing/paying more than your share, or you will annoy everyone so much that they will find it too difficult to live with you.

Everybody had to start somewhere. Everybody had to move out of home at some stage. If you have someone, either your parents, or a counsellor, etc to sort of "hold your hand" and check in with you regularly, when the time comes to move then it will be easier for you. But you should not move out thinking "you'll be grand". You obviously don't see it, but the fact that you don't understand, and seem daunted by things like paying rent or an ESB bill means you are vulnerable to being taken advantage of (or bullied).

Contact Autism Ireland, and ask their advice.

Mrs OBumble

OP, there is an accommodation option which several people have mentioned in the thread that you may have missed. This is using temporary accommodation for your sexual encounters, while still living at home.

When you meet a woman who you would like to spend the night with, instead of taking her to your home go to a hotel instead.

This would mean ringing up the hotel, asking if they have any double rooms available for the night, and then paying when you get there. Usually hotel rooms cost around E100/night (more for flash ones) - but seeing as you would be a late check in, you may get them cheaper.

Use websites like http://www.laterooms.com/ to get an idea of the hotels which have late rooms, and to find out what hours their reception is open (you will need places with 24-hour).

Usually breakfast will be included, and you will need to leave the room and give the key back to the reception desk by 11am the next morning.

This may work out cheaper than moving out of home, especially if you finish college and then get a job in a very different area.

If you do go to a hotel room, you may need to text your parents to tell them that you are staying at a friend's house overnight, so they do not worry.

moving out

Deleted User wrote: »

Definitely go to your Student Union and talk to them about these issues.

It's not how much electricity you use. It doesn't work that way - you receive a monthly or bi-monthly bill, depending on the specific company, and this is divided up between however many people live in the house.

If you have any suspicions, ask to see the bill yourself. Educate yourself on how to read it properly and how to tell whether it is an estimated bill or if someone came to read the meter. If it was an estimate, you can ask for your meter to be read, but be aware that the bill could go up just as much as it could go down.

my teapot is orange wrote: »

There are a few ways.

You could have the electricity account transferred into your name, so that you receive and pay the bills directly.

Another option is that the landlord might ask you to pay the bill which is in their name, in which case they would provide you with it first.

More unusually, the bills might be included in the rent so it does't matter how much you use, you pay the same anyway.

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Bill is generally spilt by the amount of people living in the property. If it is a little high just ask the person whose name is on the bill can you have a look.

Honestly OP you sound like you haven't a clue how the real world actually functions. Sorry if that is a little harsh but it is how you are coming across via your answers/questions/attitude on this thread.

I thought I had said this exact thing in the thread opener but it seems I forgot.

moving out

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Utility bills (electricity, gas) and services bills (bin charges, television license and/or package) are spilt equally between the renters. You can ask to see copies of the bills.

Be aware though if you are planning on bringing a lot of guests back to the house, your housemates may ask you to contribute more if your guests are using the showers etc (ie electricity and heating).

OK that's understood.

Triceratops Ballet

hi op hope this is helpful its an electric Ireland guide to billing

this link is a guide to banking in Ireland

I've lived in houseshares and tbh, if you can afford to wait few months while you're researching, try live on your own... living on your own is much better.

other things to factor in are you may need a deposit for gas/electricity, usually €200/300 which they will give u back at the end of your first year, usually as a credit on your account. You will need your first months rent and the same again as a deposit. Then you will have internet/tv which comes to €50-80 per month.

Are u in Dublin? if so Dublin 1-8 would be the closest to town so you'll have all the amenities you need!

As an aside when I first moved out one of the factors I considered was bringing ppl home, It wasn't a major factor but it was part and parcel of the independence I was looking for, so this isn't a wildly inappropriate reason to want to move out.

moving out

Boombastic wrote: »

Regarding the electricity bill, ask your parents to show you theirs, to explain to you how it works/ how you know if it's an estimate or not and how to pay it..

I will do this.

Would you be familar with grocery shopping, cooking meals etc?

I will and yes I am. I'm just not familiar with bills, banks and paying rent.

moving out

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

In a house share all bills are split equally by the number of people living in the house. You cannot "prove" how much electricity you use or how much you should be paying for, so the fairest way is everyone just pays the same amount.

When I asked earlier if you are part of a support group, I didn't mean having a relative to talk to. I meant someone like Autism Ireland.

Yes I figured you meant something like that. My reply was that I am not badly disabled by this diagnosis, I'm not a full-blown autist like that guy's cousin probably is and it was only recently I was diagnosed as well. It seems a little extreme to go to one of these groups all of a sudden because some professional said that I am now autistic. I don't take it too seriously and I put it in the thread opener partially because I've found from other forums that putting it in the first post delays the time it takes for people to become angry because I don't share their exact values and beliefs and my threads to get closed unjustly.

You are talking about taking a huge life step, with what would seem very little life experience. If you go into a house share totally and utterly clueless as to how things are supposed to work you will either get taken for a complete fool, and end up doing/paying more than your share, or you will annoy everyone so much that they will find it too difficult to live with you.

This was another one of my worries as I know that people try to take advantage. How else can I avoid this apart from learning about the bills?

Everybody had to start somewhere. Everybody had to move out of home at some stage. If you have someone, either your parents, or a counsellor, etc to sort of "hold your hand" and check in with you regularly, when the time comes to move then it will be easier for you.

I will try and talk to someone like this. I know a few people that have moved out.

But you should not move out thinking "you'll be grand". You obviously don't see it, but the fact that you don't understand, and seem daunted by things like paying rent or an ESB bill means you are vulnerable to being taken advantage of (or bullied).

Contact Autism Ireland, and ask their advice.

The problem is that I think this is all practical stuff based on knowledge and experience. What could Autism Ireland help me with?

Big Bag of Chips

moving out wrote: »

The problem is that I think this is all practical stuff based on knowledge and experience. What could Autism Ireland help me with?

Do you not think Autism Ireland have practical knowledge based on experience of dealing with autistic adults on a daily basis?

What is the harm in contacting them and asking some questions? If they can't help you or offer you any practical advice or support, then you say "thank you for your time" and hang up!

moving out

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Do you not think Autism Ireland have practical knowledge based on experience of dealing with autistic adults on a daily basis?

What is the harm in contacting them and asking some questions? If they can't help you or offer you any practical advice or support, then you say "thank you for your time" and hang up!

I was only diagnosed with level 1 Autism but if you and others think this is a good idea I guess I'll give them a call tomorrow.

[Deleted User]

How capable are you? Can you function by yourself? If your autism is something that you feel affects you a lot, then maybe living out of home without adequate support is a bad idea. Have you talked to anyone since your autism diagnoses? It might help you better understand it.

Mrs OBumble

moving out wrote: »

It seems a little extreme to go to one of these groups all of a sudden because some professional said that I am now autistic. I don't take it too seriously and I put it in the thread opener partially because I've found from other forums that putting it in the first post delays the time it takes for people to become angry because I don't share their exact values and beliefs and my threads to get closed unjustly.

If you have this problem with people on forums, then probably you will have it a lot worse with housemates.

A support agency like Autism Ireland could help advise you about how other people like you have gone about moving out from home. They may even be able to help match you up with housemates who have some level of understanding of the condition, who won't get offended by your behaviour as quickly as neuro-typicals might.

And here's a question no one has asked you yet: Do you actually know that your parents won't let you bring girls home? Have you asked them? Or are you just assuming it? If you have not asked, then this is the first thing you should do.

Some parents I know have decided that they would rather their kids bring people home than go elsewhere.

It's likely that your parents would prefer you to have a steady girlfriend rather than just random f*ck-buddies. But you might be surprised at just how much they will tolerate.

[Deleted User]

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

And here's a question no one has asked you yet: Do you actually know that your parents won't let you bring girls home? Have you asked them? Or are you just assuming it? If you have not asked, then this is the first thing you should do.

Some parents I know have decided that they would rather their kids bring people home than go elsewhere.

It's likely that your parents would prefer you to have a steady girlfriend rather than just random f*ck-buddies. But you might be surprised at just how much they will tolerate.

Really? Some parents are OK with their children bringing back one night stands? Jeez!

Mrs OBumble made an excellent point though, OP; if you find a hard time interacting with people on here, then you're going to find it much worse living with strangers. Trust me, there are some extremely difficult people out there and if it is something you haven't considered, or even if you think you're able for it, then most certainly stay at home.

Mrs OBumble

Deleted User wrote: »

Really? Some parents are OK with their children bringing back one night stands? Jeez!

Welcome to the late 20th century.

If your kid is bonking in your house, then at least they're not in some drug-pad getting screwed over by scangers. The fact that they're doing it with a random may well be the least of your worries.

shruikan2553

As someone currently in college I would probably be able to understand where youre coming from but what everyone has said here is right. Once you have every other aspect you want for a location bringing women home falls into place.

On the topic of bringing women back. I have always lived with people in relationships so it would be the same person that I would get to know or was already living with them. If I was woken by some drunken banging against the wall and meeting a stranger in my house often I would start to get annoyed and I wouldnt be alone thinking like that, once in a while is fine but Im paying to live with 3/4 people, not 4/5 in the same space.

If you want to become more independent then move out, you should be able to find somewhere that you can replace someone for the next college semester. If you just want to bring women home then dont bother unless you are going to get some place for yourself.

Santa Cruz

Tigger99 wrote: »

You seem to want your own place to bring different women home. Are you sure you'll get lucky regularly enough to justify moving out? Also could you not go to theirs?

If you are too near Mammy she might start calling in unannounced and see what you are up to

foggy_lad

moving out wrote: »

No, I can afford sharing.

How do you plan to support yourself? rent and all the bills as well as paying for stuff for school/college is expensive.

moving out wrote: »

I don't but like I said before, I am already around a noisy environment and it's stressful as well.

You can't get along with your parents who you have lived with all your life yet you think that living with strangers will be any better?

What happens when you have a row with a house-mate over something they all find acceptable but you don't? Where will you move to then?