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Your embarrassing/funny Christmas work party stories

IvaBigWun

And none of the cliched "I once photcopied my arse/testicles/boobs" tales

The strangest thing I saw at one of these was a girl come out of the toilet with half a toilet roll coming out of her jeans and trailing behind her. She was left with this wedding dress like white veil "train" for about half an hour before someone had the deceny to tell her. Me included as I couldnt speak at that stage.

Whats your embarrassing/funny Christmas work party story?

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IvaBigWun

I think one of the most major feckups of the work Christmas party is the drunken 'romantic' liaisons that often go on between colleagues.

I wonder how many people end up quitting their jobs in the New Year through embarrassment of roiding the wrong person?

hungry hippo 4

IvaBigWun wrote: »

I think one of the most major feckups of the work Christmas party is the drunken 'romantic' liaisons that often go on between colleagues.

I wonder how many people end up quitting their jobs in the New Year through embarrassment of roiding the wrong person?

dump her just before she falls in love with ya :P

IvaBigWun

herisson wrote: »

There was loads of free drink at my last one. I got twisted and one of my managers ended up catching me being finger banged by a randomer.

Thankfully, i dont do that anymore. Nor do i look her in the eye.

Is "finger banged" a culchie thing?

cletus van damme

IvaBigWun wrote: »

I think one of the most major feckups of the work Christmas party is the drunken 'romantic' liaisons that often go on between colleagues.

I wonder how many people end up quitting their jobs in the New Year through embarrassment of roiding the wrong person?

seen plenty of that carry on but no resignations thereafter.

irish bloke

anncoates wrote: »

Gave a very annoying workmate a slap.

Amazingly didn't get sacked for it.

I think everybody else hated him anyway.

You should have been sacked..

razorblunt

Was in college with a guy who was the the biggest idiot I've ever met. Had a temp job at Xmas and was leaving the restaurant to go to the nearest pub he walked past a line of cars and kicked off the wing mirror of each. 4th car down was an unmarked squad car with 2 lads inside.
Night in the cells, costs and fired.

Zascar

So this time last year I was leaving my job just around the time of the Christmas party. It was only the beginning of the night but the place was packed and everyone was having a good time. While standing around drinking I accidentally bumped my elbow against someone behind me - I turned around to see that it was my HR Director and I'd spilt her drink straight down her top. Oops... I very apologetic, it was clearly an accident but she was really not happy at all. She tried to joke in a serious way saying "I'm going to have you fired tomorrow" to which I replied "I just handed in my notice today - so please be my guest!!". You should have seen her face...

IvaBigWun

Zascar wrote: »

She tried to joke in a serious way saying "I'm going to have you fired tomorrow" to which I replied "I just handed in my notice today - so please be my guest!!". You should have seen her face...

:pac:

Id have taken a photograph

Cienciano

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Is "finger banged" a culchie thing?

I think its when you let someone stick their finger up your arse

ziedth

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Is "finger banged" a culchie thing?

I heard it on HBO; it means like, you know, when you pretend to use your finger like a gun or something.

uch

I once photcopied my arse/testicles/boobs

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

razorblunt

FizzleSticks wrote: »

One of the head managers told a group he was talking with while absolutely pissed that he came on some young lad's face, who was also in the room but on the other side. And so was I, raging!

Sounds like he was good at his job though.

anncoates

irish bloke wrote: »

You should have been sacked..

It was years ago and you asked for it.

Get over it.

aujopimur

uch wrote: »

I once photcopied my arse/testicles/boobs

Pics please.

Bogwoppit

aujopimur wrote: »

Pics please.

*Photocopies

DeanAustin

Ended up in the toilets shagging a married woman. We were seen on the dance floor kissing so were the talk of the place on the Monday. Nothing worse than waiting over the weekend to get to work on Monday knowing you're the idiot everyone is whispering about.

In one way, it wasn't my proudest moment. In another, it kinda was.

IvaBigWun

DeanAustin wrote: »

Nothing worse than waiting over the weekend to get to work on Monday knowing you're the idiot everyone is whispering about.

I would imagine the husband of the wife having the arse rode off her in a toilet felt worse

Specialun

IvaBigWun wrote: »

I would imagine the husband of the wife having the arse rode off her in a toilet felt worse

Reminds me of the father ted quote "ive had my fun and thats all that matters"

danniemcq

Not me but workmate stole a shopping cart then had to leave it back then started arguing with bouncer, started a fight with the christmas tree before being tackled by the other bouncers and dragged outside and pinned to the ground before the boss of the company came and put him in a taxi.

Or the guy who didn't see the tiny outside seat and tripped over it and because his hands were in his pockets the only way he could break his fall was headbutting the ground. The ground won!

cantdecide

danniemcq wrote: »

Or the guy who didn't see the tiny outside seat and tripped over it and because his hands were in his pockets the only way he could break his fall was headbutting the ground. The ground won!

He's lucky he reacted so quickly. Who knows how far he could have fallen.

IvaBigWun

How many did you follow?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/christmas/10515902/Dos-and-donts-of-office-Christmas-parties.html

Do's and don'ts of office Christmas parties

The office Christmas party season is now in full swing so The Telegraph has spoken to a number of experts for some simple effective advice to help you survive the festive season without mishap

1. Stay away from office gossip

Jo Bryant, etiquette advisor at Debrett’s, said: “Don’t gossip or spread rumours. Confessing your sins to colleagues or clients is never sensible.

“Keep small talk general. Be armed with a few social icebreakers, families, children, holidays.”

Khalifa Mustapha, a recruitment consultant at Morgan McKinley, said: “It’s far too easy to get caught up in the he said, she said conversations while having a good night with your colleagues.

“However, office gossip and alcohol is probably almost never going to end well. It’s best to stay away.”

2. Don’t drink too much

William Hanson, etiquette expert and teacher at The English Manner, said: “The mistake that people make with office Christmas is that it is still a work event and I think a lot of people see it as, ‘Oh good, free booze, free food, well let’s be merry.’

“Okay you can let your hair down but you are still being judged and watched by your superiors and your actions are still accountable.

“The smarter people use the office Christmas party to present themselves in the best possible light as opposed to getting completely and utterly drunk.”

He added: “Know your limit and stick to it, even if the boss is getting absolutely trollied, it does not mean that it’s acceptable for you to do that yourself.”

3. Dress appropriately

Mr Mustapha said: “The Christmas party isn’t the place to wear that ‘a bit too’ slinky black dress, or that ill-fitting suit that’s been gathering dust in the back of your closet.”

Mr Hanson said: “Just make sure you know what the dress code is and stick to it. If you are really worried speak to other people in the office about what they are wearing.”

4. Don’t trap people in very long conversations

Mr Hanson: “An easy trap to fall into is that you find someone you like who you want to talk to and you stay with them for the entire evening.

“Well, that person probably wants to talk to other people and other people probably want to talk to that person.

“Try not to hog people, ten or 15 minutes is fine.”

5. Don’t leave too early

Ms Bryant said: “Always stay for a reasonable amount of time, especially if there is a sit-down dinner. Leaving early may look antisocial or unappreciative.”

Mr Mustapha said: “In most cases, a lot of time and energy has been spent planning the Christmas party. Don’t leave after the first hour.

“The Christmas party is the ideal place to let your hair down and unwind after what’s most likely been a stressful year of work.”

6. Do attend

Mr Mustapha said: “Although your attendance is optional, it is a good idea to make an appearance.

“Even if you despise the thought of spending of a whole evening with the people you work with everyday, making an appearance shows that you are part of the team.

“They’re great for company morale, and sometimes a great night out is all that’s needed to turn work mates into real mates.”

7. Mingle

Mr Hanson said: “You should use the opportunity to talk to people in the office, perhaps that are higher up, who you have been desperate to talk to for the whole year and haven’t been able to.

“Use it to social network and to make a good impression, rather than thinking I am going to bond with my colleagues.

“That’s marvellous but you can do that in your own time, this is perhaps the time to go and impress the bosses.”

7. Always have one hand free to shake people’s hand

Mr Hanson said: “You need to ensure you have one hand free all the time, don’t have plate and glass, and if you are being sensible you will hold your drink in your left hand so you can still shake with your right.

“It just looks rude if you don’t shake hands. Hopefully your host will have the foresight to make sure there are plenty of surfaces available for people to put stuff on.”

9. If the party is being hosted by someone at work, bring a gift and send a thankyou

Mr Hanson said: “If you are going to somebody’s party make sure you turn up with a gift, it does not look good to be empty handed.

“Avoid flowers that are uncut because it gives the hostess a job as she has to then go and put them in water.

“It doesn’t have to be a big present, a box of chocolates or bottle of champagne is fine.”

Ms Bryant said: “It is well-mannered to send a thank-you email the following day to bosses and those who helped organised the party.”

10. Don’t leave people standing on their own

Mr Hanson said: “If you find yourself stuck with someone terribly dull and you want to get rid of them, it is impolite to leave them on their own.

“What I would do is pair them off with someone else by saying, ‘You know I have just seen someone I must go and talk to but have you met so-and-so and introducing them to someone else before you escape.”

Cian92

Our work party is on tonight (factory not office if you must know). I'm here drinking cans before going out, meeting with a few lads from work for pints at 8 and then to the pub at 9 for the proper night out.

We are trying a different place in our usual spot in town tonight, which could be a disaster as our work party's are mad. We have been banned from the Old Oak in Cork forever after we had a party there a few years ago, god only knows how this new place will react to us!

Sunnyisland

Wonder will there be any gossip from the beers tonight in Dublin city ?????

truebluesac

We are out tonight god help dublin town tonight , at least 50-100 on the beer . Ill post stories tomorrow ;-)

Doom

I Don't know what a Christmas party is?

Santa Cruz

Mint Aero wrote: »

Sorry but it sounds like she has undiagnosed bladder issues. get her a trip to the docs for xmas.

She's very popular with the "watersports" enthusiasts

Santa Cruz

DeanAustin wrote: »

Ended up in the toilets shagging a married woman. We were seen on the dance floor kissing so were the talk of the place on the Monday. Nothing worse than waiting over the weekend to get to work on Monday knowing you're the idiot everyone is whispering about.

In one way, it wasn't my proudest moment. In another, it kinda was.

"pic please"

IvaBigWun

realies wrote: »

Wonder will there be any gossip from the beers tonight in Dublin city ?????

Yes but will will there be pics?

Oh wait, this isnt Facebook.

Oh wait, thats why I like it here

Dupont

We had ours in a hotel on a party night. Was about a thousand people there. We're builders and heavy drinkers but one of the workers kicked the boss in the arse. It was just like father ted kick bishop Brennan up the arse