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Sexless marriage/relationships

Sunnyisland

Was out last night with a group of male friends and the conversation got around to sex and relationships,to our astonishment one of the lads who got married just under three years ago said they don't have sex anymore,;he said; that his wife has no intrest and is not at all bothered by it.

Before they were married it was all go,fun games etc etc and where as now they have everything martarialistic the sex has gone, They have no children.

What you think AH ? Is this normal and what's to be done...

Tldr Newly married man is not getting sex anymore what should he/they do

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looking_around

It's not cheating if they talk about an open relationship.

Differing sex drive are quite common, but a balance must be found that both parties are ok with.
If she won't talk about, get him to write about it, text about it to her.
he needs to decide if this is something he can put up with or if no sex is going make him want to leave.
He then needs to tell her this. Sometimes the ultimatum needs to be given.
Find out if there's something going on with her?
For some women in can be extremely painful, she might be emabarrassed to talk about this, but he has to force the issue if he's going to solve it.

Increase sex/Intimacy:
*Schedule it.
*Play Strip Games/Shower together.
*Watch Porn
*Mutual Masturbation
*Oral.

Daqster

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

Why should getting married change anything, it was all go before?

Ha, if marriage didn't calm the fires of lust then we would have had no Carry On movies and half the TV shows in the 70s and 80s would never have been made.

My favourite sexless marriage being the Ropers of course.

Teyla Emmagan

Double post. I can't use this phone at all!

Teyla Emmagan

professore wrote: »

Is he well off? Your mention of materialistic things make me suspect this. Maybe she was after him for money and just not attracted - but performed for him to get him to marry her.

Happens all the time. IMO if he goes looking elsewhere for sex she can't complain in this situation.

Once the interest in sex goes from one side it's very bad for a relationship.

He didn't say materialistic, read it again.

And maybe the OP's friend took his marriage vows seriously which is why he isn't cheating on his wife.

professore

As for advice, I would try counselling. If she refuses, make it clear you are very unhappy and will seek it elsewhere, if a very good reason can't be found.

professore

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

Why should getting married change anything, it was all go before?

Clearly you're a single man.

professore

Is he well off? Your mention of materialistic things make me suspect this. Maybe she was after him for money and just not attracted - but performed for him to get him to marry her.

Happens all the time. IMO if he goes looking elsewhere for sex she can't complain in this situation.

Once the interest in sex goes from one side it's very bad for a relationship.

nlgbbbblth

Not normal at all. The fact that they've no children makes it worse.

MonstaMash

realies wrote: »

No he is not happy at all and according to my friend his lovely wife has just gone off it and just nags when he tries to bring the conversation up

I know them years and it's a bit of shock to hear this is happening to them,very strange.

If they both value the relationship, maybe counselling is the logical way forward...

Without communication it would be nigh on impossible to be intimate IMHO

SCOOP 64

Why should getting married change anything, it was all go before?

Sunnyisland

Wibbs wrote: »

If they're both happy with the arrangement then fine, if one isn't that's the issue. I'm assuming the bloke in this case isn't?

Real tricky one. Marriage counseling? Is he doing something or not, that's caused her to go off the nooky, or is this something with her alone? Medical issue?

If it was her natural sex drive level and I didn't see a change down the line I'd be gone TBH.

No he is not happy at all and according to my friend his lovely wife has just gone off it and just nags when he tries to bring the conversation up

I know them years and it's a bit of shock to hear this is happening to them,very strange.

MonstaMash

I have the best relationship in the world...we live 170km away from each other & only see each other at the weekends

Has been working out blissfully for us for 6+ years now

Wibbs

If they're both happy with the arrangement then fine, if one isn't that's the issue. I'm assuming the bloke in this case isn't?

Real tricky one. Marriage counseling? Is he doing something or not, that's caused her to go off the nooky, or is this something with her alone? Medical issue?

If it was her natural sex drive level and I didn't see a change down the line I'd be gone TBH.