Jarrod wrote: » That happened a friend of mine too. Unrelated, but my friend had a pet snake and for months, he kept waking up with the snake lying next to him. After a while he got a bit freaked out waking up with the snake stretched out next to him so he went to the vet. The vet said that the snake was sizing my friend up to eat him and that he was just checking if he was big enough yet.
Ash.J.Williams wrote: » urban legend?
exador wrote: » My first time was embarrassing... After we had finished I looked around and her Mother was standing there looking at us...There was akward silence and nobody spoke for what seemed like five minutes..... And then eventually the silence was broken by he mother.. She just went Baaaaaaaaaa
Chairman Meow wrote: » And no it wasnt a ladyboy, sadly.
Doom wrote: » Banjo string...I'm saying no more than that!
CTYIgirl wrote: » Shared a bedroom with a girl for my first year of college. I'd a 9am start so stayed in, she went out one night. She arrived back with a guy. We had a rule, if someone brought someone else back then you'd wake them. She decided not to, and I awoke to them riding. What made it worse was we have the same name. Woke up to "Oooh, CTYIgirl, oooh" Grr.
Duff wrote: » First year in college I'm out one night putting the Christmas dinner into my moves on the dancefloor and managed to land myself this Bebo Stunnah. Anyway after a few more shots and heavy petting she asks me back to hers. Nice one. We get back anyway and after a Pot Noodle we head up to her room and I'm seeing my name in lights. Flick the lights off and under the covers we go and after a bit of foreplay I realise I've no condom in my wallet so I says to her had she got any on the off chance she did. She said she did and that there was one in the drawer on the bedside locker beside me.. So I stick my hand in, feel it and take it out of the drawer. Naturally you're trying to open it as fast as possible so I rip the packet open as fast as I could and suddenly I feel something powdery hit my twig and giggleberries. Somethings not right here, I thought. I'm lying there in silence trying to figure out what exactly was going on and she's looking at me with a ''come on t'fúck'' look on her face. I ask her to flick on the lamp beside her head so I can check the situation out. She does and what am I greeted with?... my lad covered in fúcking LEMSIP! Don't ask me how I mistook a sachet of Lemsip for a condom, but there ya go! I can still hear her laughing to this day.
Itwasntme. wrote: » I got with a guy I really liked. I had a panic attack mid-action. I dressed up really quickly while trying concentrate on breathing and legged it. I've been trying to get him to talk to me since but it's never going to happen .
Duff wrote: » First year in college I'm out one night putting the Christmas dinner into my moves on the dancefloor and managed to land myself this Bebo Stunnah. Anyway after a few more shots and heavy petting she asks me back to hers. Nice one. We get back anyway and after a Pot Noodle we head up to her room and I'm seeing my name in lights. Flick the lights off and under the covers we go and after a bit of foreplay I realise I've no condom in my wallet so I says to her had she got any on the off chance she did. She said she did and that there was one in the drawer on the bedside locker beside me.. So I stick my hand in, feel it and take it out of the drawer. Naturally you're trying to open it as fast as possible so I rip the packet open as fast as I could and suddenly I feel something powdery hit my twig and giggleberries. Somethings not right here, I thought. I'm lying there in silence trying to figure out what exactly was going on and she's looking at me with a ''come on t'fúck'' look on her face. I ask her to flick on the lamp beside her head so I can check the situation out. She does and what am I greeted with?... my lad covered in fúcking LEMSIP!Don't ask me how I mistook a sachet of Lemsip for a condom, but there ya go! I can still hear her laughing to this day.
Timmyctc wrote: » Did he have sex with the snake then or what?
Crooked Jack wrote: » I posted this before in another thread, so apologies if you've already read it, but it seemed to fit in with this thread. Not that it was exactly embarrassing, as Im pretty sure she didn't know, but still, it's hardly something to be proud of. There was this girl worked in a bar in uni that i really fancied. She either was, or really looked like, one of the Suicide Girls. Anyway, one particularly drunken night she eventually succumbed to my witty banter and insightful, uh, insights. So we're maulin' the faces off each other in the taxi on the way back to her place and practically kept it up while payin the taxi, walking to the door, goin up the stairs etc... We get to her bedroom and strip off and me lad near smacked me in the face. She had an unreal body. So I head south and go to town on her and after a fairly enthusiastic exchange of genital and oral fluids she cums. I move up to kiss her and all of a sudden she's "very sleepy," gives me a quick peck on the cheek, says we'll go again in the morning and rolls over to go to sleep. So I'm left there with this thumping truncheon and I can practically see the ****er pulsating. Basically theres not a chance of me gettin to sleep with this, so i give it a few minutes to make sure yer wan is asleep and then start seeing to the problem myself. It's not what I'd expected but it would tide me over until the morning. Im about to shoot and I realise I havent thought this through. there's no where for this to go, so I just catch it in my other hand. Now i'm in this strange room, with a handful of jizz, using the glow from my mobile to find somewhere to throw it. There's no bin or anything or even a packet of wipes and even the feckin floor was wooden. Im sat there and this thing is becoming more watery and at a real risk of dribblin out of my hands. THIS is the feckin moment she chooses to wake up and decide she wants to cuddle. She murmured something about putting my arms round her and I had a split second to act as she rolled over...so I just hoofed it down my throat. I wouldnt dip my chips in it now but overall i found the taste fairly inoffensive. Just in case you're curious she had to "rush off to class" when we woke up the next morning and I never got any. Never got out with her again after either. Should have rubbed it in her feckin sheets.
McChubbin wrote: » Lost a condom inside me once.... :O
spitfireIRL wrote: » My friend was losing his virginity and a wasp flew into the room and stung his arse
Ihatecuddles wrote: » Yeah, is that what 'she' said to him? :pac:
jazz101 wrote: » Why didn't you just dump it in one of your socks?
Crooked Jack wrote: » To be honest, i didnt even think of that, but even if i had i wouldnt have done it. i had to wear them socks the next day
Gongoozler wrote: » Your first time was with a sheep?
Sinfonia wrote: » Exactly: consume your own semen, fair enough, but get a bit on your foot?? That's ****ing disgusting.
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