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Tell us your family secret

I Heart Internet

As the title says - tell us your family's shameful secret that nobody speaks about. Leave out any details that may identify you or the family.

Mine is that my mother's cousin (who I've never met) was convicted of murdering 2 people in the US in the 1980s.

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VONSHIRACH

martinedwards wrote: »

My Grandfather was born in Moville in 1909, then his family moved to England.

during the war he was a Naval officer, and ended up as acting captain of HMS Violet, a corvette in the south Atlantic, before he was invalided out with TB

he "retired" to Moville but remained on full pay for the duration of the war.

it was his job to spread misinformation about convoy timetables etc out of Derry to anyone who'd listen on the Republic side in the hope that word would get to Nazi sympathizers with a radio.

He had a legendary ability to drink and appear drunker than he was. A very useful ruse in the the old deception game......

Cool man! I got my grandfather's service record from the RN in Portsmouth. He survived the war. Bit of a bold boy pre-war from tours of the Med and Far East. Gonorrhea!:eek::o

Calibos

My grandmother and her sister were chatting about the civil war years and asked my mother did she want to know who killed 'The Big Fella'. She said yes but they changed their minds.

Now everyone and their granny tell the sceal about how they know the secret about who fired the fatal shot that killed Collins.

However, not everyone's grannies sister was the daughter in law of the free state intelligence chief at the time.

So not quite a family secret but we were so close to knowing the secret.

Don't get me started about the Irish sweepstakes.....

cuana

When I was 8 I met my Grandfather for the first time (he was dying)! It was shocking for an 8 year old we had never asked & assumed he was already in heaven with our other grandparents. Years later we find out that my grandparents had separated sometime in the late 50's (he was a violent drunk). My mother still can't bring herself to talk about her upbringing. My grandfather actually lived but we only met him once after until it was his funeral they never even got him a headstone just buried him he must have been an awful fcuker.

Strangely though my mother doesn't talk about her childhood she has researched the family tree only to discover that her father had brothers & sisters she never knew about & has since met up with some of her cousins most live abroad. Loads of interesting stories of people leaving because they got such & such pregnant etc fcuken religion really destroyed my mothers family

nicowa

My sister is my half sister - which she told me as I was driving to her half brothers 21st. Hardly said a word after that. She told the rest of the siblings after. The aunts are still pissy about it - me mam didn't marry him! (1978) and her parents said nothing! My gran even made sure she got a proper Christening. The priest tried to suggest they have it in the sacristy (back room) of the church as twas a bit of a scandal wasn't it...

FloatingVoter

My dad was Elvis. He sold the chipper to a property developer, never got over it and died of a broken heart.

nicowa

Calibos wrote: »

My grandmother and her sister were chatting about the civil war years and asked my mother did she want to know who killed 'The Big Fella'. She said yes but they changed their minds.

Now everyone and their granny tell the sceal about how they know the secret about who fired the fatal shot that killed Collins.

However, not everyone's grannies sister was the daughter in law of the free state intelligence chief at the time.

So not quite a family secret but we were so close to knowing the secret.

Don't get me started about the Irish sweepstakes.....

Not close enough! The people deserve to know!!!

Well, I do... I don't know about the other folk...

Waitsian

Muise... wrote: »

I'm 1/8 Protestant. Found out in a bookshop while browsing a biography of a slightly famous relative. Great-grandad kept that one quiet. Even worse, he was from Cork. :eek:

Protestant eh? Hardly scandalous.

An ancestor of mine on my father's side (his mother was a Protestant convert to Catholicism) was a Colonel in Cromwell's army in Ireland. He was a pretty nasty fellow by all accounts. My mother's family are a South Armagh Republican family of long standing (senior Sinners back in the day, death on active duty, prison time etc) so my brother and I tend not to use the Cromwell boyo in anecdotes at weddings! :eek:

Muise...

mod9maple wrote: »

Protestant eh? Hardly scandalous.

An ancestor of mine on my father's side (his mother was a Protestant convert to Catholicism) was a Colonel in Cromwell's army in Ireland. He was a pretty nasty fellow by all accounts. My mother's family are a South Armagh Republican family of long standing (senior Sinners back in the day, death on active duty, prison time etc) so my brother and I tend not to use the Cromwell boyo in anecdotes at weddings! :eek:

not scandalous, just a secret.

It's probably thanks to one of your people that most of my people are from Connacht.

AnonoBoy

We're all shapeshifting lizards who run the world.

rainbowdrop

My nana & grandad had a child that was stillborn (homebirth) in the late 1940's.

The baby was already dead by the time the ol' bollox of a priest arrived at the house, and for some reason he refused to give the last rites because of this. He also told my grandparents the baby would have to be buried outside the wall of the graveyard as he was not christened.

My grandad and his brothers went to the graveyard later that night and buried the child themselves IN the graveyard, (rural area) as my nana was traumatised at the thought of the baby being buried in non consecrated ground. The priest had a fair idea what they had done, but my grandad refused to tell him exactly where the child was buried.

To this day, there is no headstone/marker at the spot, but it's been passed down through our family exactly where it is!

AnonoBoy

rainbowdrop wrote: »

My nana & grandad had a child that was stillborn (homebirth) in the late 1940's.

The baby was already dead by the time the ol' bollox of a priest arrived at the house, and for some reason he refused to give the last rites because of this. He also told my grandparents the baby would have to be buried outside the wall of the graveyard as he was not christened.

My grandad and his brothers went to the graveyard later that night and buried the child themselves IN the graveyard, (rural area) as my nana was traumatised at the thought of the baby being buried in non consecrated ground. The priest had a fair idea what they had done, but my grandad refused to tell him exactly where the child was buried.

To this day, there is no headstone/marker at the spot, but it's been passed down through our family exactly where it is!

Wow! What a pack of c*nts the church really are.

Waitsian

rainbowdrop wrote: »

To this day, there is no headstone/marker at the spot, but it's been passed down through our family exactly where it is!

Would you not get one now? The rules in regard to suicides and babies born without last rites have changed. I can't see their being any objection from a priest. If only to mark it properly, as a memorial for future generations.

Conall Cernach

markomuscle wrote: »

My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather killed a Norwegian.

You bastard! My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather was a norwegian tourist who was mugged and killed for his ihelmet in the Clontarf area.

Gloomtastic!

Great thread, AH at it's best.

Researching our family tree earlier this year, I discovered my great grandfather and his brother spent time in Mountjoy for 'Threatening with intent'. That was in 1917.

Prior to knowing about this, the biggest scandel to hit our family was when my big brother was suspended from boarding school for shoplifting. He spent the two weeks in his bedroom in case anyone came to the house and saw him.

stefan idiot jones

My mum is convinced that my fathers mother was impregnated by a G.I. as my father looks nothing like his father or his two siblings.
My father has light brown hair, blue eyes and a fair complection while the others all have black hair, brown eyes and darkish skin.
I guess she just wanted some nylons.

Thst means I could be a quarter Yankee. Yee Haa where's my gun ?

I also have a great uncle who was gay (1950's) and another who is a monk.

dm1979

I am the family secret, a bastard child with 2stepbrothers that don't know about me. Many a time I have thought about knocking on that front door.

CardinalJ

My Dad's cousin's second cousin is married to Brian Cowan.

rainbowdrop

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Wow! What a pack of c*nts the church really are.

I know! My grandmother on my other side had a child when she was 19, before she married my grandad. She was put in a magdalane home because the father was some big farmers son and she was just a lowly servant in some big house. The nuns took the baby away when he was 3mths old, while my nana was working in the laundry.

I saw her crying a few times because she never got to say goodbye....

Religious orders in this country fcuked up so many peoples lives!

rxan90

I'm half Greek. My great uncle (my paternal grandmother's only brother) collaborated with the Germans when they were occupying Greece during WWII. After they left, some guys (presumably anti German) with guns turned up at his house and demanded he come with them. He was never seen again - concrete shoes I reckon!

Doom

We take the law into our own hands.

Amerika

John Malkovich’s character in the movie "Red" was loosely based on an Irish uncle of mine… who always called me over the years from some odd part of the world right before some "event" happened, and who at 69 years old is retiried from some gov’t agency and now lives in a remote part of Texas as an Native American with his 25 year old wife.

markomuscle

Conall Cernach wrote: »

You bastard! My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather was a norwegian tourist who was mugged and killed for his ihelmet in the Clontarf area.

I was thinking more of the Battle of Dublin in 919, Niall Glúndub's army were defeated that day, Niall was the first man of the O'Neill surname i think.

seosamh1980

A cousin in the side of the family I have nothing to do with (not for this reason but they do tend to be shady scummy bastards) raped and beat a girl when he was a teenager, I think they were both about 16, I could be wrong. He left her for dead, and was in prison for at least 10 years while I was a kid. Then tried to be all nicey when he was released, everybody acts like nothing happened, disgusting.

I think another cousin from the same family (maybe a cousin of theirs, not sure) had a house party where someone was murdered or something. They weren't part of it, it was a fight that broke out between others, but still, these people are always in trouble!

Calibos

Always thought we were interlopers to our town as there are a greater number of people with our rare name in Galway. It had a bit of a Spanish ring to it if one separated the DE at the beginning from the rest. Reasonable conclusion was we were descended from Spanish Armada sailors washed ashore in Galway.

That was until someone showed us a book on the history of our town. In it was the first recorded register of Norman landowners in the town from 1213 or thereabouts. This fella only recognised his own name and that of one other family. It was our name but with the French 'le' before it.

Turns out, we probably originally owned the lordship currently held by some Elizabethan 'Johnny come latelys'

Rho b

My dad was born "out of wedlock" in the 30's. He was "adopted" by a friend of his mother's who was married. She and her husband had 5 daughters and apparently always wanted a son. His natural mam and dad always financially supported him. When my dad discovered that he was adopted he ran away and joined the Irish Army, he was 16 or 17yo. Apparently his natural parents had to pay money to get him out of the Army? I met his natural mam several times as a young child although I cannot remember what she looked like. I only knew her as Aunt Helena. From what I know she never acknowledged my dad as her son. When she died she left her estate to her nieces and nephews. She never married.
Also my Aunt (mothers sister) "drowned" in Canada when I was young. My mam nor my Uncle would never talk about it. There was only the three of them although they had an older sister that died from TB as a baby. She apparently was buried in another relatives plot in the graveyard as my grandparents could not afford their own plot at the time - early 1920's. I only heard about her 10 years ago or so when my Uncle told me.

Spring Onion

rainbowdrop wrote: »

My nana & grandad had a child that was stillborn (homebirth) in the late 1940's.

The baby was already dead by the time the ol' bollox of a priest arrived at the house, and for some reason he refused to give the last rites because of this. He also told my grandparents the baby would have to be buried outside the wall of the graveyard as he was not christened.

My grandad and his brothers went to the graveyard later that night and buried the child themselves IN the graveyard, (rural area) as my nana was traumatised at the thought of the baby being buried in non consecrated ground. The priest had a fair idea what they had done, but my grandad refused to tell him exactly where the child was buried.

To this day, there is no headstone/marker at the spot, but it's been passed down through our family exactly where it is!

There is a small children's graveyard just down the road from me, hidden away in an obscure corner of the field. It was for still born babies or babies that died before christenting. It is marked by a few standing stones. I believe they are call "cillíns". It always make me sad when I pass it and I think of how evil and uncaring the church was and why I am much better off having nothing to do with them.

wexie

Spring Onion wrote: »

It always make me sad when I pass it and I think of how evil and uncaring the church was and why I am much better off having nothing to do with them.

Was it not only a few years ago when the church decreed that unborn children or children that died before being christened no longer had to go to purgatory?

Any organisation that can decide (and condone) the condemning of a newborn child to an eternity of suffering as ****ing evil.

Original sin me hole :mad:

Pumpkinseeds

My grandmothers husband buggered off to England leaving her mother with 4 young kids. Granny became a rich mans mistress for years and he paid for the upkeep of the kids,as well as fathering my mother. I was told this only because I had started going out with a lad, in my teens, with the same surname as my grandfather.

My mother never met her father and she learned about his death when her mother sent her a copy of his obituary:( Life in Ireland 60 years ago:(

Oh the same granny liked a whisky or 20;)

Rocket19

rainbowdrop wrote: »

My nana & grandad had a child that was stillborn (homebirth) in the late 1940's.

The baby was already dead by the time the ol' bollox of a priest arrived at the house, and for some reason he refused to give the last rites because of this. He also told my grandparents the baby would have to be buried outside the wall of the graveyard as he was not christened.

My grandad and his brothers went to the graveyard later that night and buried the child themselves IN the graveyard, (rural area) as my nana was traumatised at the thought of the baby being buried in non consecrated ground. The priest had a fair idea what they had done, but my grandad refused to tell him exactly where the child was buried.

To this day, there is no headstone/marker at the spot, but it's been passed down through our family exactly where it is!

This was, sadly, a very common occurrence in early Christian Ireland, right up to the 20th century.

There are many examples of "Cillíní" (children's burial grounds) throughout Ireland, where the remains of unbaptised infants would be laid to rest. These were designated grounds to bury children that were not entitled to be buried on consecrated grounds (also housed suicides). They are often touching the boundaries of existing graveyards, presumably to have them as close to consecrated grounds as possible.
Where there were no Cillíní, parents were often expected to simply 'discard' their children, which is why there are so many archaeological and historical examples of babies secretly being buried just inside, or on the boundaries of consecrated grounds (as in your family's case).

Without the modern medicine and healthcare we have today, cases of miscarriage and stillbirth were very prevalent, and there is said to have been an 'epidemic' of Cillíní burials.
It's incredible that people were forced to endure that sort of trauma and heartlessness, just because of some bullsh*t religious ideals!

Muise...

Rocket19 wrote: »

This was, sadly, a very common occurrence in early Christian Ireland, right up to the 20th century.

There are many examples of "Cillíní" (children's burial grounds) throughout Ireland, where the remains of unbaptised infants would be laid to rest. These were designated grounds to bury children that were not entitled to be buried on consecrated grounds (also housed suicides). They are often touching the boundaries of existing graveyards, presumably to have them as close to consecrated grounds as possible.
Where there were no Cillíní, parents were often expected to simply 'discard' their children, which is why there are so many archaeological and historical examples of babies secretly being buried just inside, or on the boundaries of consecrated grounds (as in your family's case).

Without the modern medicine and healthcare we have today, cases of miscarriage and stillbirth were very prevalent, and there is said to have been an 'epidemic' of Cillíní burials.
It's incredible that people were forced to endure that sort of trauma and heartlessness, just because of some bullsh*t religious ideals!

An archaeologist friend of mine was surveying cillíns in Galway and Mayo. She asked for details about one at the farmhouse of the land it was on. The woman who answered the door said the last burial had been only a few years since, and it had been an infant of hers. This was in the 1990s.