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Child Item

Yummy mummy & tummy mummy traffic chaos expected this week.

Lando Griffin

So after a summer of painstakingly minding our little ones it’s once again time to dump them into the education system for another 10 months or so.
Unlike thousands of other yummy mummies and bulged jegging clad wans, Lando will adjust time accordingly in the morning and leave the house 15 minutes earlier to ensure a pleasurable driving experience to school for all.
I will park in a car park provided and not across the emergency gate or double parked at the bus stop.
I will indicate when wishing to enter a line of traffic and not expect other road users to mind read my intentions.
I will not dispose of my fag end at the school gate.
Any other tips for road users coming up to back to school time?

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syklops

anncoates wrote: »

Kids are hardly going to be walking or getting the bus to school unaccompanied until at least 4th or 5th class. I assume it's far more common these days to have both parents working and if so, they probably might have to drive on to work after dropping kids off.

If kids have a parent that isn't working, fair enough it's slothful not to walk to school if it's within walking distance.

Now we need to kick off a debate on whats "walking distance"

anncoates

dxhound2005 wrote: »

I had to cycle 5 miles to school every day.

I myself had to make a 100 mile round trip to school on a bicycle with a rucksack of turf as well as carrying my corpulent older brother on the crossbar, which exacerbated my rickets and scurvy.

In addition, my parents were too poor to afford fancy cycling shoes so they painted my feet orange and yellow and glued Velcro on my toes.

Larbre34

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Have an exam on Friday. My blood pressure will be through the roof going in with all the traffic! Let your kids take the bus people!

Here's a tip - travel earlier.

anncoates

syklops wrote: »

Now we need to kick off a debate on whats "walking distance"

Serious answer: under 1 or 2 miles.

AH answer: until the fat little fuckers start crying,

jimgoose

anncoates wrote: »

I myself had to make a 100 mile round trip to school on a bicycle with a rucksack of turf as well as carrying my corpulent older brother on the crossbar, which exacerbated my rickets and scurvy.

In addition, my parents were too poor to afford fancy cycling shoes so they painted my feet orange and yellow and glued Velcro on my toes.

Luxury. My dad would tie one end of a rope to me and lasso the drawbar of a passing tractor with t'other. So I was dragged ta school every morning like something out of Blazing Saddles. This had no socio-economic basis, we were relatively wealthy. My dad was just a funny guy!

zl1whqvjs75cdy

My walk to and from school was up hill. Both ways.

dxhound2005

anncoates wrote: »

I myself had to make a 100 mile round trip to school on a bicycle with a rucksack of turf as well as carrying my corpulent older brother on the crossbar, which exacerbated my rickets and scurvy.

In addition, my parents were too poor to afford fancy cycling shoes so they painted my feet orange and yellow and glued Velcro on my toes.

Who was the Pope at the time?

Surveyor11

I used to roller skate to school. Was I unusual?

Napper Hawkins

You could just not have kids, then all this ****e wouldn't matter anyway!

dxhound2005

jimgoose wrote: »

Luxury. My dad would tie one end of a rope to me and lasso the drawbar of a passing tractor with t'other. So I was dragged ta school every morning like something out of Blazing Saddles. This had no socio-economic basis, we were relatively wealthy. My dad was just a funny guy!

Never did you any harm, you turned out OK.

jimgoose

dxhound2005 wrote: »

Never did you any harm, you turned out OK.

Mmm aye, oh aye - by 'eck it were grand.

_Kaiser_

I had to walk a good 40 minutes each way in all conditions when I was young (about 8/9 upwards), crossed several major roads AND I looked after my younger sister too as my mother worked nights/shifts

The world didn't end, neither of us were kidnapped, we never starved etc. About the only thing it did do was give us a sense of independence, self-reliance and cop-on.

Oh how I miss the 80s...

Elbaston

Just be sure to use your credit card combined with coupons for even small transactions when shopping.

Autonomous Cowherd

anncoates wrote: »

I myself had to make a 100 mile round trip to school on a bicycle with a rucksack of turf as well as carrying my corpulent older brother on the crossbar, which exacerbated my rickets and scurvy.

In addition, my parents were too poor to afford fancy cycling shoes so they painted my feet orange and yellow and glued Velcro on my toes.

Bwahahahahahaahhh! made me laugh like a drain.....

Ava_e

Please be patient with them.

When they suddenly pull in without indicating, then hop out and open their door while pulling the brats from the people carrier into oncoming traffic. Please remember this. They are the only people in the world who have had kids, so they deserve special treatment

chopper6

Kaiser2000 wrote: »

I had to walk a good 40 minutes each way in all conditions when I was young (about 8/9 upwards), crossed several major roads AND I looked after my younger sister too as my mother worked nights/shifts

The world didn't end, neither of us were kidnapped, we never starved etc. About the only thing it did do was give us a sense of independence, self-reliance and cop-on.

Oh how I miss the 80s...

Yep we used to do the same...there would be gangs of kids all heading to and from school on foot for a half hour walk each way without any problems whatsoever.

Older kids would look after thier younger siblings who were in the junior school attached to the primary and we had to cross a constantly busy main road although they eventually installed a lolipop woman.

When once back in 1982 or so there was a scare about a so-called bearded weirdo hanging round the area the Principal of the school announced that for safety reasons children weere always to walk home in groups larger than three...of course despite the delicious thrill of danger,none of these scares ever came to anything and none of us were abducted by peadophiles.

Wacker The Attacker

I like to cummy in her mummy tummy via the bummy

GalwayGuy2

I've yet to see any MILFS when collecting my kids from school, most disappointing

Seen plenty of PJ's though

Ahh I remember when I was a young fella of 12. We had to pick up someone from a sleep over and the young mother of the house came out wearing a bathrobe that came down to jsut past her hips. Ahh, first sight of long legs.

She bent over, a lot, and my young eyes were opened to the joys of the opposite sex.

gctest50

syklops

Surveyor11 wrote: »

I used to roller skate to school. Was I unusual?

Most boardsies didn't have shoes never mind ones with wheels.

RainyDay

chopper6 wrote: »

When once back in 1982 or so there was a scare about a so-called bearded weirdo hanging round the area the Principal of the school announced that for safety reasons children weere always to walk home in groups larger than three...of course despite the delicious thrill of danger,none of these scares ever came to anything and none of us were abducted by peadophiles.

Or maybe he abducted a group of four all together and there was no-one else around to tell the tale!

Rothko

I really hate the term "yummy mummy".

BillyMitchel

byronbay2 wrote: »

There is absolutely nothing perverted about a man ogling MILFs at the school gates - it's the most natural thing in the world!

Agree but its all sorts of filthy thoughts running through your mind so it kinda is a bit pervy.

Lets not label it because as you say its the most natural thing in the world as long as your not there with your iphone trying to get some snaps!

saltyjack silverblade

My parents managed to fashion some shoes for me out of some old tyres that were found shredded on the road. I then walked with my turf in my hand and my books in a strap, to a school where the fear of god was put into you. And we were grateful for it.
Nowadays the yummy mummy's should drop their precious kids off when on the way back from the maternity unit and pick then up at 18 at the front door.

gobnaitolunacy

danniemcq wrote: »

Whatever happened the school bus?

Bus driver roughing up little darling at 0.56.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYzSNiqeQjA

NegativeCreep

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

My parents managed to fashion some shoes for me out of some old tyres that were found shredded on the road. I then walked with my turf in my hand and my books in a strap, to a school where the fear of god was put into you. And we were grateful for it.
Nowadays the yummy mummy's should drop their precious kids off when on the way back from the maternity unit and pick then up at 18 at the front door.

Were you the kid in Angela's Ashes?

iguana

A tummy mummy is an affectionate term used for a gestational surrogate by the family of the child/ren she carried and gave birth to. Not sure why there are so many of them at your school OP?

Gummy Panda

iguana wrote: »

A tummy mummy is an affectionate term used for a gestational surrogate by the family of the child/ren she carried and gave birth to. Not sure why there are so many of them at your school OP?

The business name is Rent A Womb

[Deleted User]

As with most even vaguely child-related threads, the undercurrent of intolerance and dislike is obvious.

Kids go to school. Parents mostly drive them because they're enroute to work, or they live too far away, or there's no bus service, or the kids are too young to walk 65k uphill both ways in the snow, like everyone here obviously did when they were kids.

It shouldn't be that hard to cope with.

FreshKnickers

The answer is so obvious and simple, ye'll all be kicking yerselves.

Move the school closer to the kids house.