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Child Item

Mean things you did as a kid

Vito Corleone

When I was a kid there was this guy in my class who was a bit slow. Anyway, one day we were learning fractions in maths (we would have been in maybe 3rd/4th/5th class, can't remember

) and the teacher asked him a question.

It was the really easy stuff, the question was something like "what's 1/4 + 1/4". He didn't have a clue, all I remember was the complete confusion on his face as he attempted to comprehend such a difficult question. :pac: I saw my opportunity, the chance to break away from the boredom of math and make everyone laugh.

I turned my head in his direction and whispered "One hundred". He nodded in appreciation and confidently replied to the teacher's question. Everyone began laughing at him, even the teacher was smiling. I'll never forget the look in his eyes the moment he realised I had fooled him.

Not the worst thing to have done and I probably did meaner things. Anyway, what mean things did you do as a young kid?

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worded

We had a swat in our class and she would remind teachers to correct homework if they forgot. We wouldnt have it done at all!

Got a few big spiders from the shed and put them in her metal pencil case. She leapt up onto her seat screaming.

Mickey H

worded wrote: »

We had a swat in our class and she would remind teachers to correct homework if they forgot. We wouldnt have it done at all!

Got a few big spiders from the shed and put them in her metal pencil case. She leapt up onto her seat screaming.

I think she may have had that coming.

WoollyRedHat

I did a few mean things as a kid, , but the ones that stand out are when I saw a kid with a birthmark down the side of his face and said "Hey, it's two face!" That one was real bad, made him cry and got into huge trouble for it.

The other one was when me and a few others were told that a boy in the class had got really bad sunburn on his back and to be mindful of this. So of course, being the bastard I was, I walked over to him two minutes later and said " Hi Tim, how are you doing, sorry to hear about your sunburn!" all the while patting him hard on the back... I got into huge trouble for that one as well.

Ihatecuddles-old

Found my sisters dildo and left it on the kitchen table. I was about 14, she was 25.

My brother once told me that if I sniffed his dirty socks I'd see everything in purple. He left the room, I took a huge big sniff and had to run to the bathroom to be sick.

I'm adopted, I've had it written on birthday cakes

my brothers told me that I was left in the back garden one night by aliens and I had green skin and had to have surgery to make my skin white. Backfired on them when I said it to my social worker

My brother told me I had a hip replacement when I was 2. I had loads of injuries as a baby so completely believed him. For ten years. My mother laughed so hard when I mentioned it one day, she thought I was losing my mind.

I took a picture of my male friend in one of my dresses, sent it to a friend and of course half the school had seen it by lunch

felt horrible.

Leaving Cert Student

Ok I'll be brief.

A girl in school asked me to fill her water bottle for her in the lads jacks cause it was the only tap in the school. Went for a piss in the cubicle first and accidentally dropped the bottle in the toilet. Considered my options for a second and decided to just take it back out, fill it, wipe it with some tissue and give it back to her!

Cruel but I guess what she doesn't know won't hurt her and saved me any embarrassment!

keithb93

1ZRed wrote: »

Posted this before in a similar sort of thread

When me and my friend were young, we would go off through the fields, like you do at that age. So one day we were messing around when we suddenly got ambushed by a massive donkey. The lad was in visible "heat" I'll say, and immediately gave charge to us, so we started to leg it the nearest wall.
It was really tall one (probably to keep this hard done animal contained) and my mate had to push me up onto it, at which point the very horny donkey had caught up to us.
While my friend was still trying to struggle and scramble up the wall, the donkey got his two legs up on my friend, pressed him against the wall and, eh.. got to work!
My friend was desperately squealing out my name for help I was just there rolling around on the wall pissing my hole laughing at him. It was the funniest moment ever and I still take this piss out of his "first time"!

Me and my younger brother went into a neighbouring estate and he got jumped by a big Labrador which proceeded to cream the back of his pants. I just stood there laughing my hole off! The screams out of him.

justforlaugh

flick a middle finger at me ma

NuckingFacker

At a mates birthday party, he had to stand up on a chair while everyone sang "Happy birthdy" - aged 12 ish... i thought it would be funny to kick the chair out from under him. He landed akwardly and broke his arm. His Mammy didn't see the funny side..neither did mine..

kraggy

Has this thread really gone so far as it has without anyone having a go at the OP?

I'm confused. Maybe I'm the "slow" guy in the room?

we'llallhavetea

paid a poor girl 20p to drag me up and down the road on my roller skates with a rope

also tripped a girl up so bad she skidded halfway up the corridor.. in fairness she was fcuking tearing up the hall with immense speed.

meoklmrk91

When I was very small I accidentally mushed cheese into the carpet in the classroom, when the teacher asked about it I blamed it on a boy who had learning difficulties, he just sat there in silence while the teacher ate the head off him. I still feel terrible about that.

Also not that long ago in secondary school one of the teachers annoyed me so I would correct her spellings, it's a horrible thing to do in fairness as she was only a hairdressing teacher so it's not like her spellings mattered that much, I was just being a smart ass.

The Pheasant2

There was a kid in my class that I didn't get along with (we were about 5) and just before we'd get collected from school I'd bite my own arm and when his mum walked into the class I'd run over to her and shout "Look at the marks on my arm! Marcus bit me!"

Of course his mum would flip and drag him all the way to the car shouting at him. God that was evil...but that Marcus was a little **** I tells ya!

WilyCoyote

Took my uncles haircutting machine and gave his cat a tight haircut :eek:

Timmyctc

I remember filling a burst football with Stones and waiting with the ball in the middle of the road for about half an hour for one of the lads to come over to "play footy" with us. "The shouts of "First day lad!" followed by intense screaming then a bit of crying made us feel kinda bad.

EdenHazard

Not mean but in class in secondary school we thought it be hilarious to do pushups etc. when teachers back was turned only to be perfectly engaged in maths when she turned around again. Hardly terrible thing to do but just not funny and bad crack on the teacher, complete lack of respect.

beks101

I did some fcuking God-awful things as a kid that I will never utter to anyone in real life.

The worst was probably putting on fake 'voices' to the blind kid across the street, pretending to be my "long lost cousin from America".

I also (accidentally) chopped my little sister's finger off with a kitchen scissors and denied it for years.

Every time I think I want kids I just remember the demon child that I was and come to my senses.

Canard

beks101 wrote: »

I also (accidentally) chopped my little sister's finger off with a kitchen scissors and denied it for years.

I have to ask...how did you manage that, and how did you manage to deny it? :pac: The only excuse I can imagine is "she did it herself", but if she was old enough for a scissors she could have protested that one.

pharmaton

Before this thread I had slight fear of women (having been demonised by my own sisters) at this moment in time it's moved into the realm of genuine concern for my safety.

beks101

Canard wrote: »

I have to ask...how did you manage that, and how did you manage to deny it? :pac: The only excuse I can imagine is "she did it herself", but if she was old enough for a scissors she could have protested that one.

Her being three at the time swayed things quite a bit in my favour tbh.

She fell and cut her knee outside, out came the first aid kit & kitchen scissors, babysitter leaves the room for a few minutes to check on potatoes, I start messing with the scissors and mock-threatening to cut sister's fingers off, she moves her hand too close to me...I cut her finger off.

Tried to blame the babysitter, then tried to blame the sister, then tried to blame my sister's three year old friend who was also in the room at the time...took them about five years to get a confession out of me.

So not only was I an evil child, I was also a pathological liar.

Vicar in a tutu

Not me, but I remember someone telling me that when they were growing up , they'd put a straw up a frogs bum and blow it so the frog would inflate?? I really hope it's not true...:(

carzony

Told my teacher one of the lads wanted to play the tin whistle at an assemly we were having. I told her he was just to shy to ask..

He was such a shy chap. I never laughed so hard in all my life..

NuckingFacker

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

I was/am an extremly bad person.

Ah, you're just a wascally wabbit.

Daveysil15

Vito Corleone wrote: »

When I was a kid there was this guy in my class who was a bit slow. Anyway, one day we were learning fractions in maths (we would have been in maybe 3rd/4th/5th class, can't remember ) and the teacher asked him a question.

It was the really easy stuff, the question was something like "what's 1/4 + 1/4". He didn't have a clue, all I remember was the complete confusion on his face as he attempted to comprehend such a difficult question. :pac: I saw my opportunity, the chance to break away from the boredom of math and make everyone laugh.

I turned my head in his direction and whispered "One hundred". He nodded in appreciation and confidently replied to the teacher's question. Everyone began laughing at him, even the teacher was smiling. I'll never forget the look in his eyes the moment he realised I had fooled him.

Not the worst thing to have done and I probably did meaner things. Anyway, what mean things did you do as a young kid?

WTF? What sort of a question is that?

Leaving Cert Student

Daveysil15 wrote: »

WTF? What sort of a question is that?

A basic fractions question?

Jimoslimos

Daveysil15 wrote: »

WTF? What sort of a question is that?

¼ + ¼ = x

Answer in fraction or decimal notation.

Daveysil15

Leaving Cert Student wrote: »

A basic fractions question?

Sorry, I was never much good at maths. Englash was alwis me best subjact.

Sam Kade

Back when I went to school when we were children (kids back then were young goats

) we had a substitute teacher who used to always sit on the arm of his chair during class. One day during lunchtime I got a thumbtack from the notice board and put it on the arm of his chair. During class he was walking around as usual and then went to sit on the arm of his chair when he felt the thumbtack he lept up and left a roar that rang through the whole school

He wasn't too happy afterwards he made us all write on a piece of paper if we did it or not :rolleyes: obviously everyone wrote I didn't do it including me which ended up in us all being kept in after school.

ringadingding

We grew up in the uk, and were shipped across to our great grannies in arklow for a few weeks every summer.
She was old school in terms of lashing you with the wooden spoon.

Our 3rd uncles brothers something's were due for lunch and obviously they were a bit posh cos the best cutlery came out, we got the spitty napkin cheek rubs and everything.

Nan had baked a loaf of bread and it was sitting on the cooling rack whilst she was upstairs getting dressed, I'd never seen fresh baked loaf before and picked at the crust, then the soft warm middle, well, I ate nearly the whole inside leaving a hollow crust, my little brother walked in and I gave him a taste.
Nan came down, saw the loaf and had an absolute Mickey fit, demanded to know who ate it.
I denied it and my 5 year old brother with a quivering lip put his hand up.
He got a nan o'toole wooden spoon lashing and I got a slice of battenberg.

CrazyRabbit

Daveysil15 wrote: »

WTF? What sort of a question is that?

Leaving Cert Student wrote: »

A basic fractions question?

It's half a question.

stefan idiot jones

Not quite a kid but not yet an adult. Twenty odd years ago, half a dozen of us picked some mushrooms in preparation for the weekend.

We were going to spend the night in a guys house who befriended us recently. He was in his mid twenties and still lived at home with his old man and step mother and a bit of a dick.

His folks were going away for the weekend so everything was planned. When we all arrived we found two of our female friends there and two other girls this new friend had invited.

This immediately displeased us as the whole ambience we planned was spoiled by the constant interruptions and general adolescent stupidity by these imposters who were not and were never going to be on our 'wavelength'.

To cut a long and unsatisfactory story short, the experience was not as it could and should have been, so when we all (apart from the architect of this get together) woke up in various states of annoyance and disarray we planned revenge.

Without being destructive or obvious, we swapped photos around in frames, poured corn flakes into the chip pan, his step mother's best crockery into the freezer, tins of food into the oven, hundreds and thousands into his step mothers bed, locked his wardrobe and threw the key away, swapped ornaments around and generally altered things.

He was thrown out.

He never bothered us again.

I do not feel guilty for him as he knew the score and fu@ked up.