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Child Item

Smacking yes or no

Jiggers77

So I have just engaged in a lively debate with work colleagues, a mix of men and women about the pros and cons of smacking children, a really old chestnut I know!. To my relief the vast majority of us were opposed to this but one guy was very pro and even went as far as to say if he had kids (Thank God he doesnt) he would have no problem taking his belt to them and believe me he wasnt kidding. Hes the same age as myself (37) and I was gob smacked.
I thought punishing kids like that went out with the arc. I was the youngest of four boys growing up and as a child of the 80's often found myself at the business end of the old mans belt, that was how things were down in those times but surely not today.
Whats the consensus? Does anyone else out there feel that its appropriate? Surely its not even legal to hit kids like that these days. Im still amzed at his attitude. I couldnt even imagine laying a hand on a child!

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Ryuji_w

How i would raise/discipline a child

Identify if they are being bold/misbehaving.
If yes, give a warning that they will get a slap/smack if they keep it up. basicallly say stop doing whatever it's bold/you're being bold.

If they continue, give them said slap/smack basically a quick slap on the hands to shock them, not hurt them and send to bed/naughty step.

Once they have calmed down, go and ask if they know why they got punished, if they do know tell them not to do it again and explain why they shouldn't do it again or they will be punished again.
If they don't know, explain why they got punished and explain why they shouldn't do it again.

Then end with something like you love them and that you don't want to punish them but have to since you(the child) can't act like that since it's bold/wrong etc.

But then i'm only 18 so this could all change and whatnot when i have kids of my own. I do try this with my 6yr nieces, doesn't work all the time but their situation is rather unique

LordSutch

NO.

marienbad

No, never. And for those of you who say it never did you any harm - how do you know ?

barry181091

Whats the definition of 'smacking'?

Like if you ever slap your child, that is smacking?

If they are being littke wa**ers, then a good clip around the ear usually does it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1240279/Children-smacked-young-likely-successful-study-finds.html

But again, what IS smacking? The odd slap or just sitting them down with a belt in one hand?

Crooked Jack

Apparently an orange in a sock doesn't leave a bruise. Never tried it myself. Just throwing it out there. Get back to me with any results you might have.

stimpson

barry181091 wrote: »

Whats the definition of 'smacking'?

Like if you ever slap your child, that is smacking?

If they are being littke wa**ers, then a good clip around the ear usually does it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1240279/Children-smacked-young-likely-successful-study-finds.html

But again, what IS smacking? The odd slap or just sitting them down with a belt in one hand?

You're seriously going to use the Daily Mail to back up your point?

caustic 1

Yes

Mr Benevolent

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It always amuses me that those who advocate never disciplining children raise the most obnoxious twats you are ever likely to meet. You would almost think the two were correlated.

Are you equating discipline and violence?

barry181091

stimpson wrote: »

You're seriously going to use the Daily Mail to back up your point?

Fine, very same article but not on the Mail.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6926823/Smacked-children-more-successful-later-in-life-study-finds.html

Just because its from the Mail, its wrong, huh?

IM0

barry181091 wrote: »

Whats the definition of 'smacking'?

Like if you ever slap your child, that is smacking?

If they are being littke wa**ers, then a good clip around the ear usually does it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1240279/Children-smacked-young-likely-successful-study-finds.html

But again, what IS smacking? The odd slap or just sitting them down with a belt in one hand?

smaking with hand only

belt with belt only.....erm was that not obvious

then again people do use the words interchangebly :rolleyes:

a belt can be a verb or a noun so thats where the confusion comes from!

so in essence youre right to be confused :pac:

a belt or the wooden spoon should never be used or at least EXTREMELY rarely in a never say never kind of way, \I remember the FEAR of getting a slap of the wooden spoon more than actually getting hit with it, but I think there might be some very fuzzy memories of actually getting hit with it, and thats like through the whole of child hood

stimpson

barry181091 wrote: »

Fine, very same article but not on the Mail.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6926823/Smacked-children-more-successful-later-in-life-study-finds.html

Just because its from the Mail, its wrong, huh?

Here's one from the Telegraph too - Smacking children makes them naughtier

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6188692/Smacking-makes-children-naughtier-research.html

mikom

Waterboarding FTW.

50SofG

got the sh*T slapped out of me as a kid,
so no ... i would consider myself a sucessful man but trying to deal with childhood punishment is a bit*h.

i have kids and there are times i could loose the head but thank god never hit them son is a young man now,

the naughty step i find is degrading, i got sent to the f**king hall and i hated it,
i think it depends on the way it's delivered,

SusieBlue

Absolutely no way.

It teaches children that if someone is bigger and stronger than you, they can hurt you and its okay. It teaches them that if someone does something they don't like, hurting them is a reasonable reaction. It gives them the message that its okay to hurt someone if you are angry with them.

If an adult hits an adult, its assault. But when its a child, its discipline. Baffles me.

I don't want my children to be afraid of me. I don't want them to think hitting is okay.

There are far more effective methods of controlling children than resorting to hitting them. Whenever I see parent hitting their kids its because they have lost control of the situation and don't know what else to do.

humbert

WhiteRoses wrote: »

It teaches children that if someone is bigger and stronger than you, they can hurt you and its okay. It teaches them that if someone does something they don't like, hurting them is a reasonable reaction. It gives them the message that its okay to hurt someone if you are angry with them.

No, it doesn't.

SusieBlue

humbert wrote: »

No, it doesn't.

Well then, explain what it teaches them?

Child misbehaves, parent is angry/upset, parent slaps child, child thinks its okay to hit people when angry. I don't understand what other kind of message a child could get from this.

50SofG

humbert wrote: »

No, it doesn't.

it is bully boy stuff, i don't have the answers but slapping is not the answer in my humble opinion

IM0

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Absolutely no way.

It teaches children that if someone is bigger and stronger than you, they can hurt you and its okay. It teaches them that if someone does something they don't like, hurting them is a reasonable reaction. It gives them the message that its okay to hurt someone if you are angry with them.

If an adult hits an adult, its assault. But when its a child, its discipline. Baffles me.

I don't want my children to be afraid of me. I don't want them to think hitting is okay.

There are far more effective methods of controlling children than resorting to hitting them. Whenever I see parent hitting their kids its because they have lost control of the situation and don't know what else to do.

um adults dont usually slap each other for violence, more punching, kicking, BIIIIIIIIG difference, and when they do slap its a game of slaps and fun usually so there goes that arguement down in flames, plus if it was so traumatising to them they would hardly be recreating it as adults and teenagers in mess games would they

humbert

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Well then, explain what it teaches them?

Child misbehaves, parent is angry/upset, parent slaps child, child thinks its okay to hit people when angry. I don't understand what other kind of message a child could get from this.

It teaches them that the have done something bold and have been punished. Unless the parent in question is consistently terrible the child will still have no doubt that they are loved and that the parent has their best interest at heart.

Children aren't computers, they recognise that different relationships obey different sets of rules.

WinnyThePoo

It's all about the wooden spoon

mikom

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Absolutely no way.

It teaches children that if someone is bigger and stronger than you, they can hurt you and its okay. It teaches them that if someone does something they don't like, hurting them is a reasonable reaction. It gives them the message that its okay to hurt someone if you are angry with them.

The wooden spoon never taught me that.

"Daddy, why is the guard using the baton on that man?"

SusieBlue

IM0 wrote: »

um adults dont usually slap each other for violence, more punching, picking, BIIIIIIIIG difference, and when they do slap its a game of slaps usually so there goes that arguement down in flames

I said hurting. Not specifically hitting, but hurting someone else. I think my argument stands.

SusieBlue

humbert wrote: »

It teaches them that the have done something bold and have been punished. Unless the parent in question is consistently terrible the child will still have no doubt that they are loved and that the parent has their best interest at heart.

Children aren't computers, they recognise that different relationships obey different sets of rules.

Exactly my point, they think hurting someone is way of showing anger and is an acceptable reaction when you aren't okay with how someone is behaving.

Neyite

I hope that I would never need to smack my child, but if I did it would be a swat on the hand or bum, never the head or face, and also as an absolute last resort in terms of punishment.

I also feel that using your hand is sufficient enough - it hurts doesn't it? - using a belt or stick is just wrong - that's battery.

But, then I'm only at this parenting lark a year, and haven't reached the tantrum stage yet. I was hit as a child but my parents maintain thats all they grew up with. They attended a parenting class when we were young teens and since then were able to use other techniques to discipline.

My siblings have never hit their children. Ever. And all of them are polite, and behave in public and have done so since they were tots. I know because I minded them loads. So it is possible to rear your children well without hitting, and I aspire to that.

humbert

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Exactly my point, they think hurting someone is way of showing anger and is an acceptable reaction when you aren't okay with how someone is behaving.

Do you think parents hit children to show anger? Seriously?

IM0

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Well then, explain what it teaches them?

Child misbehaves, parent is angry/upset, parent slaps child, child thinks its okay to hit people when angry. I don't understand what other kind of message a child could get from this.

I began to here here about 10 min agohttp://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=85151886&postcount=62

mikom

* rings up the young lad.

I don't know where you are. I don't know what you want.
If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money.
But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
If you stop your tantrum now, that'll be the end of it.
I will not look for you, I will not pursue you.
But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
XXX Dad.

Liam McPoyle

If the day ever comes for me to have kids then I'd have no problem with giving a slap on the arse if necessary.

By necessary I don't mean any little misdemeanours but say your child ran across a road without looking, a telling off has no consequence to them where as a slap makes them realise that it's something that should not be done under any circumstances as something bad could nay would happen, for extreme instances like the above, I have no issue with slapping whatsoever.

Having said that, my Mum minds two now 9 year old lads that have never been slapped and they are two of the nicest kids I've ever met so I guess for the most part, the parents mould how kids behave.

SusieBlue

humbert wrote: »

Do you think parents hit children to show anger? Seriously?

From what I've seen parents hit children when they lose control of the situation and as a last resort when nothing else is working, and usually out of frustration.

50SofG

humbert wrote: »

It teaches them that the have done something bold and have been punished. Unless the parent in question is consistently terrible the child will still have no doubt that they are loved and that the parent has their best interest at heart.

Children aren't computers, they recognise that different relationships obey different sets of rules.

ok i can agree with this one, but who decided the level that is acceptable to hit, smack in the bum, as they get biger the back of the ear,
so one kid gets a slap on the hand and the other can get a slap in the face both commited the same act, who decides??????? who learns,
is parent punishing to teach or to get rid of their own anger?